Page 16 of When the Weaver Met the Gargoyle (Leafshire Cove Monsters #1)

Chapter 16

Romulus

I n my tower, I briskly pack a satchel with a round of bread and a skin of watered wine. My skin feels too cold, even for a gargoyle. I swallow the bitter taste on the back of my tongue and wish I couldn’t still scent Laini on my clothing and my body. That arseface Leo isn’t dead, thank the gods, but next time, he will be. If I lost control that easily…

I have to leave. Let this whole thing cool down. Maybe I can return after the talk has died down and Laini’s feelings for me have cooled. I can’t be with her. She deserves safety, joy, and peace. I can’t provide any of those things.

I shake my head as I unroll a small blanket. I had been too proud of myself for not losing control during our lovemaking. It was careless. I loosened my hold on my magic, thinking all would be well. When the power snapped out of my hands, and the ground shook…

My stomach turns, and I drop into my chair, the blanket tumbling from the chair’s arm to the floor. Chest tight, I press my fingers into my closed eyelids and force myself to recall what exactly happened. I drew stone from the earth and threaded it around the shifter. If I’m honest with myself, I know at that moment I wanted to kill Leo.

A gentle rapping at the door cracks my thoughts open, and I stand.

“Come in,” I say automatically.

Laini enters and shuts the door with soft and careful movements. Like I might explode if she’s too loud or too quick. I hate this. She deserves better.

“Rom.”

She comes toward me, and I let her envelop me in a hug. Her scent cocoons me like a set of invisible wings.

“It’s all right, Rom. Leo is completely fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. He needed to be taken down.”

My chest constricts, and I ease her away, holding her at arm’s length. I look into her beautiful sky- blue eyes. Even now, when I know it’s impossible, I want to kiss her until those pretty eyes shutter closed with pleasure.

“Laini, you don’t understand. I could have killed him.”

“You? No. You’re too kind.”

I turn away and look toward my dark hearth. “You’re wrong about me. I could have ended his life. I’ve done it before, Laini. I’m a killer.”

I hear her quiet gasp and bow my head.

“Yes. I accidentally crushed a woman in the last town I lived in.”

“It was accidental.”

I cut her off. “It doesn’t matter. I’m a danger. Leo is awful, and I still want to punch his face in, but he’s right about his attitude toward me. I can’t allow myself to get worked up in any way. My magic is too wild and too strong.”

“Leo is completely unhurt. We will explain it to the folks who were frightened. It will simply take communication and perhaps some time. That’s all.”

Rubbing my temples, I shake my head. “This is just like last time. It will end in tragedy.”

“No—”

I have to tell her everything so she understands the gravity of the situation.

“In the town where I worked as a gate guard, our lord, a human male, invited his staff to a feast. I’d thought he was a good fellow.”

An invisible weight settles on my chest, and I have to fight to get the rest of the sad tale out.

“He presented his wife as if she was just another painting on the wall. When she voiced her concern about the potential flooding we had all been discussing, he hit her. Right there at the table. When she couldn’t stop crying, he led her out of the room, and well, I will spare you the details. But I went after him, and I struck him down in a simple way. With my fists.”

I press my eyes shut, and it’s all there in my mind’s eye, as clear as if it happened yesterday.

I continue. “A shout drew me out of the back corridor where I’d fought him. The baker from next door had arrived with terrible news. The cliff-face that loomed over our town had broken free and covered three homes. An innocent mother of three died in the rubble. Rubble that I know I drew down from the mountain in my rage.”

Laini’s eyes are pinched, and two lines appear between her light eyebrows. “But how do you know it was you?”

“I felt it. The rumble of my magic inside me and in my palms. I didn’t know what I’d done, but I knew something had happened when the lord mistreated his wife.”

“Oh, Rom. I am so sorry.”

I take a ragged breath, guilt strangling me. “So I can’t put you through this. I never should have risked you. I have more control now, that is true. But to be with me like a mate would be? That’s too much. You deserve safety, joy, and the knowledge that you aren’t directly in danger every time I get riled up.”

I whirl toward her. Her face falls, and she bites her sexy lower lip, sending heat through my frosted veins.

“Rom, please.”

I sit again and draw her toward me, easing her onto the arm of the chair. Holding her hands like the treasures they are, I meet her troubled eyes.

“You deserve more than what I can give you,” I say. “You should be mated to someone without this stain on them. I’m not nearly good enough for you.”

A swallow moves her smooth throat. I’ll never forget what her skin tastes like there in the sweet hollow between her collarbones.

“No, Rom. I want you. You are more than good enough. You’re braver than me by far. I want you. Even with the challenges. Everyone has challenges.”

“True, but not like this… No, we can’t be together.”

Her eyes swim with unshed tears, and she swallows again. My heart screams. I want to be her mate, her protector, her lifeline. But she can’t be stuck with a potential murderer as a mate. It’s wrong for a thousand reasons.

Coward that I am, I look down at our joined hands. “You can’t be tied to me like I’d hoped. But we can still visit. Can we do that? Will you agree to be my friend if this settles down? That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”

What I would give to know what she is truly thinking.