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Chapter fifty-three

Epilogue- Anna

A nna rubbed her belly as she watched Mars come nearer. It looks incredible. But hope didn’t seem to be able to reach her, despite how the planet looked. A fog had settled over her being. Over her soul.

Nora and Tilly were standing by Simon, who was hovering protectively around them. Anna gave them a look of longing. They’ll fit in. But what the hell am I doing here?

The baby in her belly gave a half-hearted kick and she rubbed it back, trying to feel present at least for that. She hadn’t had much of a choice about going to Mars. Would I even have decided to come if . . . ? Anna shook her head, banishing those images. Paul’s dead eyes were always haunting her. Always staring back. Anna’s jaw ticked. Taunting me.

Anna shook her head again to clear her thoughts before the tears came. She had cried so much that now she only felt numbness at times. Frozen. It wasn’t regret she felt though. It was just . . . the uncertainty.

The androids were kind to her. Extremely kind. But she felt alone. Her baby kicked again. Not all the way alone. She closed her eyes. I hope you look like me, my little baby . She would love him or her just the same, even if they looked like Paul but . . . she rubbed her stomach again as she glanced out the window absently. The baby looking like her would make it easier. To forget.

She turned around to look at the androids moving in perfect unison behind them, operating the ship’s controls. There was an overarching AI, but from the bit she had picked up after asking how everything was run, none of the androids that founded Mars wanted to give up their individuality and have a collective AI. So, they were all distinct beings. Therefore, it still took many to man a ship that just a computer could probably have operated just as effectively.

There was a human colony they were going to on Mars. Well, humans in name. These humans had never lived on Earth. Nothing would probably be familiar. Hopefully, where and how they lived would be something Anna could understand more than this sterile ship.

As it was, Anna watched the various androids’ movements, almost like an orchestrated dance. How am I going to fit in? Her thoughts were crestfallen, her mood somber.

I’ll just have to do my best. She rubbed her stomach again. For both of us.