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The earl nodded, regarding her thoughtfully. “Was it a happy marriage?”

Regina stared at him, shocked by the question, and the earl looked suddenly alarmed.

“Good God. Forgive me, Mrs Harris, I did not mean to ask that.”

“You didn’t?” she said, a little perplexed how he could ask a question he did not mean to ask.

He looked uncomfortable now, which was such a rarity in the usually imperturbable earl that Regina watched him with interest.

Ashburton shrugged. “I was thinking it and spoke aloud before my brain could catch up. I apologise. There is no need to answer, obviously. My only excuse is that marriage is much on my mind of late.”

“Ah. Yes, I see,” Regina replied, understanding now and relieved not to have to answer, for she could not decide if an unhappy or happy marriage would be least likely to provoke further questioning.

He snorted at that and relaxed a degree. “My father is a hard man to deny,” he replied ruefully. “Besides which, I ought to be married by now.”

“Then why aren’t you?” she asked, before sucking in a breath at her own audacity.

Ashburton laughed as he saw the horror on her face. “And now we are even,” he said smugly. “As for why, I don’t really know. I always intended to marry. But then Tilly came along, and she became my world and… and I am content in many ways. Bringing a wife into the house will change things.”

“Perhaps for the better,” Regina suggested.

His eyes glinted with something that looked alarmingly like devilry as he watched her with amusement. “Ah, but you have long wanted to reform my wicked ways, have you not, Mrs Harris?”

“Certainly not,” she said indignantly, putting up her chin even as a blush heated her cheeks. This was what she got for letting her guard down. “What you do is no business of mine. I have nothing to say on the matter, nor any interest in saying it.”

“You don’t need to say it,” Ashburton replied, his tone dry. “You exude disapproval.”

“I beg your pardon if I have been less than perfect in my—”

“Oh, stow it,” he said impatiently. “Don’t get all stuffy and buttoned up on me now.”

Regina gaped at him, so stunned she could only stare.

He let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair.

“We are two adults having a frank conversation and I would prefer you be honest with me. We both know damn well you hated me when you first arrived here, and with good reason. I hated myself just as much, I assure you. But don’t get all prickly on me when I point out something that is quite blatantly true. ”

Regina digested this remarkable speech, taking several minutes to put her thoughts in order.

“We are not simply two adults,” she replied coolly. “You are my employer, and I need this position.”

Ashburton sighed. “If you think there is the slightest chance I would dismiss you for speaking out of turn, you really have not understood the situation. Tilly would never forgive me. Short of being accused of murder, and possibly not even then, your job is safe, Mrs Harris.”

Despite herself, Regina laughed. She couldn’t help it. Ashburton looked so vexed by her refusal to speak freely she could only give into his wishes.

“Very well, my lord, but might I remind you, you asked for it.”

His lips quirked then, in the not quite smile she recognised as one from his polite company facade. “Oh, I know it.”

“As you wish,” she said, meeting his gaze.

“You are perfectly correct. When I came here, I hated you on principle. As a man of wealth and title, you have every freedom there is on this earth to indulge your whims. Yet there are consequences to every action, but once again, being a man, you escape them. Your daughter pays the price instead.”

Ashburton winced, and she saw the colour leave his face.

Though she had once longed to throw these words at his head, she realised now that she no longer did.

Life was not black and white, and neither was the earl.

Yes, he had made mistakes, but not out of spite or malice, and he had done all in his power to put things right.

So she hurried on, wishing to soften her harsh words.

“However, I do not know the circumstances of what transpired, and I have seen the efforts you have made to give Tilly a home, to make her feel loved and wanted and safe. A wicked man would not have done those things. Your daughter is a remarkable girl, and a very lucky one, despite her start in life. You are right to feel proud of her.”

“I am glad you think so. Yet still, you disapprove of me,” he observed, his expression closed off.

Regina returned a wry look. “It is not for me to approve or disapprove.”

He looked irritated once more. “Stop retreating. Why have I never won your regard, even after all these years?”

A startled bark of laughter escaped her before Regina could think better of it.

“Why on earth would you want it?” she exclaimed, bewildered.

He was the Earl of Ashburton, for heaven’s sake.

What the devil did he care if his daughter’s governess disapproved of him?

Was he so desperate to be universally loved?

Were there not enough women in the world who thought him the epitome of everything that was perfect?

“I don’t know,” he grumbled, looking genuinely confounded. “But it has always rankled.”

Regina shook her head. “This is a nonsensical conversation,” she remarked, impatient now. “But if it will ease your mind, I do not precisely disapprove of you, I….”

“What?” he demanded, and the look in his eyes made her wonder if her job was really as safe as he had implied. Still, she did not feel like backing down now. He’d wanted the truth and badgered her for it, he could hardly complain when he got it.

“You disappoint me,” she said bluntly.

She almost laughed. He looked so dumbfounded, Regina wondered if any woman had ever said such a damning thing to him in all his life and felt very certain they had not.

“How so?” he asked, his tone stiff now.

Regina steeled her nerve, reminding herself he had insisted upon her honesty.

Perhaps if she insulted him enough, he would leave her be.

It would be for the best, for the intimacy of this little tea party was too appealing, their sometimes barbed conversation stimulating to a mind that spent most of its time teaching a child of eight and had little opportunity for adult interactions.

“It’s difficult to explain, for I do not mean to offer you an insult,” she said carefully, to which the earl quirked an eyebrow.

“You don’t? You astonish me,” he drawled.

“No, I don’t,” she agreed. “For you have done so much here at Goshen Court. I have seen you dirty your own hands and work hard to bring about the transformation you have wrought. Not only have you have made a home from a ruin, but you have brought the land back to productivity. That is a fine achievement. But this big old house ought to be filled with children and laughter. Your parents have the kind of relationship most people can only dream of. You must know the secret of such a union, and yet you have run from forming a serious relationship, shying away from marriage with single-minded determination. Why, even your brother and sister have proven to you that such things are possible. Yet you will not take the chance. Instead, you continue to dally with widows and Cyprians, and then come home to your daughter. What kind of example do you set her of what to expect in a man, perhaps in what to expect of someone she might one day take as a husband?”

Outwardly, the earl looked calm and unruffled, but there was a nerve twitching in his jaw that boded ill.

Idiot! Regina chastised herself. Stupid, stupid fool. What on earth had she been thinking in speaking so harshly?

Silence filled the room, though Regina could hear her heart thudding in her ears.

Still, she waited. She would not run away and hide, for that would solve nothing and she was no coward.

Regina had proven her own courage when she had left her grandfather’s house and gone out into the world alone, to survive on her own merits. She would not back down now.

Finally, the earl let out a long breath.

He was gazing at the flames leaping in the fireplace; the light flickered in his eyes.

Regina thought he looked tired and felt suddenly wretched for the words she had flung at him.

Ashburton was a good man. Imperfect, yes, but wasn’t everyone?

He was so much better than most and was certainly not the wicked seducer of innocents she had once believed.

Moreover, he seemed to truly care, not only about his family, but about the wellbeing of all those in his employ too.

“You have said nothing I did not know, or have not thought myself,” he replied, his voice low.

He was not looking at her, his gaze still trained on the fire as he spoke, but then he turned and met her eyes.

“Still, it stings rather harder when the accusation comes from you, Mrs Harris. Yet you do me a disservice. For you may be correct that I have been given many examples of what a happy marriage looks like, but still, I do not know the secret. Do you?” he asked her, his gaze suddenly intent.

Regina’s breath caught at the look in his eyes, at the strength of his desire to have an answer to the question, but she could not give it. She shook her head, her heart aching as he frowned and looked away.

“I shall do better, Mrs Harris,” he said quietly. “Upon that, I give you my word.”

He did not speak again, and assured he no longer wished for her company, Regina excused herself and left him alone.

She was uncertain he heard her words, or even realised she had gone, but once she closed the door, she let out an unsteady breath.

That must not happen again, she told herself sternly.

Allowing such intimacy between them could lead to nothing good. Nothing good at all.