Page 71 of What Blooms in Barren Lands
“Now, can I hold you, Ren?” A mild voice finally spoke from above me. “Just that, I promise you.”
Unable to form anything resembling words, I forced an indeterminate kind of noise out of my throat. He interpreted this as an assent and put his arms around me. I stood on my tiptoes to reciprocate, burying my face in the fabric of his shirt, inhaling the faint masculine musk of him. He kissed the top of my head, his hand running up and down my back soothingly. I exhaled loudly and likely would have collapsed had he not held on to me fast. I wondered just how it was possible to feel so comforted in the arms of the person I had feared in the first place.
“Did I really scare you so badly?” he asked me softly, regretfully.
“Well, what was I supposed to think?” I grumbled into the fabric of his shirt. “You weren’t exactly gentle with me on the way up here.”
“No, I wasn’t. But I didn’t expect to cause your imagination to run quite so wild. I’m sorry for that.”
I noted that he didn’t apologise for his manner of bringing me to the apartment. And that the implication of what he said was that he had planned for me to be scared to some degree. He did want to teach me a lesson then. Just not using the methods I had anticipated.
“Thinking what you were thinking, that little speech must have taken a great deal of courage.”
I looked up to bask in the warmth of his smile. My heart was starting to slow down, and my breathing was becoming regularagain. I rested my head on his chest once more, gripping the fabric of his shirt. He reacted to this by tightening his own grasp on me. His heart thumped steadily in my ear.
“I was quite certain you’d want to do it just to keep peace with Albert and his lot.”
I felt his chest heave with laughter against my cheek.
“Yes, that would have made some of them very happy, no doubt.” He stroked my hair. “It was the main reason I made such a show on the way here with you. Let them imagine the rest, though, aye?”
“Shall I pretend to scream and cry, begging you to stop, while you smash a few things around?” I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Make sure they really get their money’s worth?”
He chuckled again.
“Nah, I’m too knackered for that sort of thing. Besides, I spoke to Albert, and he’s actually willing to let the whole thing slide on account of us all being a bit tense. He doesn’t dislike you nearly as much as you think.”
I scoffed, and Einar looked at me with a humorous twitch in his mouth.
“Just so that we’re clear, and I hope we can agree on this.” He broke the silence after a while, and I glanced up to see something dark come alive in his eyes, like an ominous shadow underneath an ocean’s surface. “The next time you cross me like you did today, the very least you can expect are a few handprints on that perfect arse of yours.” He gave me a hefty spank, and my skin tingled pleasantly with the impact. “Especially if you have the audacity to actually suggest yourself that I punish you. I mean, you can’t reasonably expect me to resist that sort of temptation more than once, can you?”
Self-preservation, if not self-respect, should have compelled me to object. But there was a dangerously seductive gleam in his gaze, and the upturned corners of his mouth exposed histeeth in a ferocious half-smile. I suddenly became aware of my blood boiling, of being weak in the knees and swaying deliriously from the way his hands rested firmly on my hips. Something in their grip was making me acutely aware that with but a small rearrangement of their position, he could push me to the ground and do with me as he saw fit, be it for pleasure or punishment. He could overpower me, possess me, and I was no longer sure I didn’t want him to, no matter the consequences.
Still, my fear hadn’t fully abated, and my voice trembled slightly as I asked,
“I didn’t expect you to resist just now either. Why did you?”
Taking a step back, he sat down abruptly on the sofa. As he pulled me down with him, my eyes swam momentarily with the vision of being laid across his lap, helpless and exposed, and my very flesh hummed even as I wanted to protest. But he merely seated me on his knee, arms around me.
“You were more frightened than I ever want to see you, Ren. I may be a violent man, but I’m not necessarily a cruel one. Nor am I alibistic when it comes to your desires. I told you already, I’d rather have you trust me than fear me. Especially in a scenario like that.”
His eyebrows arched, his expression patient but slightly exasperated, like that of a teacher explaining the basics of something to a not overly bright pupil.
“What you’re talking about now is not the same thing as I thought you were going to do earlier ...” I protested vaguely.
I readjusted my weight on his lap, and as I did, I became aware of an embarrassing amount of wetness between my legs.
“No. But it is a thing, darling. Admit it, Ren.” He narrowed his eyes at me over the uneven bridge of his nose, and my face caught aflame. “Now that you’re not so afraid anymore, you want to be a bad girl for me, don’t you?” His voice acquired the consistency of melting butter, and his face was glossed over witha sheen of excitement, his eyes blazing like flaming coals in the dark. “It’s alright, babydoll, you can tell me. Do you want me to bend your bare arse over my knee to paint a few pretty stripes on it with my belt? Before burying my cock balls-deep inside you from behind, your skin still stinging hot with the consequences of your disobedience?”
Not trusting myself to keep my cool while attempting a verbal response, I only nodded tentatively, averting my gaze. I heard him inhale sharply through his clenched teeth.
“Good to know. We’re going to have lots of fun that way, you and I. But not today.” Pursing his lips, he hummed briefly with dismissal.
“Why not?” I choked out in a strangled voice.
“I’m too riled up by everything, not in the right headspace. It’d be too much like raising my hand to you in anger, and I don’t want to do that. Besides, you need to come up with a safe word first. I’ll insist on you having one,” he spoke over me as I opened my mouth to question the necessity of that.
I swallowed heavily and nodded, deflating as I released a breath I hadn’t been aware of holding. Then, quite abruptly, I felt the threat of tears sting in the corner of my eyes and blinked hard to dispel the sensation.