Page 49 of What Blooms in Barren Lands

I breathed hard through my nose.

“Why the hell do you need to pressure me so much?” I quipped, forcing the words through my clenched teeth.

“Because you’re driving me mad with this,” he spat out. “Given the circumstances, none of us knows how much time we have left. I don’t want to waste a single day more!”

I froze and bit my lip, daring a covert glance at him. His eyes blazed, his lips were drawn sharply into a bloodthirsty grimace, and his chest was heaving with monumental breaths. I shivered. Why did he have to look the most handsome when the most threatening?

“I miss you too,” I admitted quietly. “And that scares me.”

His expression mellowed out. I yearned for his embrace, despite my better judgement, but his hands remained in his lap.

Wanting to escape the oppressive topic of my rapidly developing feelings for him, I asked, “Don’t you ever feel guilty for being so happy? Some days it’s almost like I’m glad for the Outbreak, and then I wonder what’s wrong with me.”

He smirked humourlessly, setting the can aside with a faint metallic click.

“Nah, there’s nothing almost about it for me. Iamglad for it. I was born for this,” Einar told me unapologetically, letting himself be distracted by my evasion with good grace.“Before all this, I felt like a tiny ant in an anthill of millions. I was an inconsequential man. My whole life revolved around entertaining myself the best I could until my death.” His intonation was becoming more pronounced with animation. “And what’s worse, pointless seemed the only kind of life available.” He shook his head, frowning, his expression almost disgusted. “Now I can finally be who I’m meant to be. A man who fights and a man who matters. In time and if I play my cards right, a man with an immortal name.”

He took a deep breath, gazing at the small glimmer of the sea showing in between the peaks.

“Now,” he turned back to me after a moment of silent contemplation, “can I try and win you over with a second course?”

My mouth watered instantly, and my barely sated stomach rumbled.

“A second course? Can we afford such luxuries?” I asked incredulously as he stood up, straightening to his full height until he blocked out the sun.

“Aye. Being the leader’s girl has its privileges beyond my dazzling company, you know ...” He offered me his hand to help me to my feet.

I stumbled, and his hands gripped my waist firmly to steady me.

“I see. And what will you ask of me in return?” I enquired warily, but with a perceptible degree of surrender in my voice.

It was not lost on Einar, and triumph shone in his eyes even though he managed to keep a satisfying note of grovelling in his own tone.

“Let me touch you. Please. Let me give you pleasure, only you, with no strings attached. I miss making you come more than I have ever missed anything. The divine sounds you make, the way you look at me when I bring you over the edge, thetremors that run through your body when you lose awareness of anything but me for those few moments ... Just let me have that again, Ren. Will you?”

His words alone nearly achieved the effect he so desired to have on my body. And I couldn’t tell anymore whether I resisted him because of what he had told me. Was I truly so scared of his admitted appetite for power, his bottomless capacity totakewith the greed of an addict going through withdrawals? Or was it my own desire to give myself over to him, so very soon and so very completely, that fuelled my compulsion to keep him at a distance? Knowing in every cell of my being that succumbing to that desire would be like jumping off a cliff. Monumental. Perilous. Irrevocable.

And yet, even if it were to be the last thing I ever felt, wouldn’t it be glorious to learn what it is like to fly?

“You’re relentless.” I rolled my eyes but returned his smile and took a step closer to him, already tilting my head backwards so that our lips could meet in a kiss. “But fine, I accept. But I want chocolate for my second course, is that clear?”

Not long after, we finally encountered bigger groups of infected, counting more than I would have managed on my own. All of my trainees were finally getting enough practice, and the morale of our group was going up. Spirits were soaring with each arrow meeting its mark, with each vacant settlement cleared of the infection. Gradually, it became a routine for them rather than a source of exorbitant excitement.

Having cleared the northernmost part of the range, we gradually veered south. The slopes became gently rounded, covered in pale green grasses and specked with occasional trees.

Descending into one of the many green valleys, we came across an erstwhile farm consisting of empty stables, a small stone house with a red-painted wooden barn. The wings of the barn gate were held together by three separate chains, and they shook and creaked under the strain of the creatures trying to escape. Furious growls hung in the motionless air.

“What do we think?” Russ asked. “Do we just leave it?”

“I dinna like it.” Finlay shook his head resolutely. “We leave it ’ere and ’em fuckers get out and surprise us later. We said we’d clear all the infected, so I says let’s dae it.”

“We can’t open the door,” I reasoned. “Even if we found something to cut through the chains with, they would rush whoever would be doing the cutting.”

“Hmm.” Einar made a noise which usually signalled that he was considering something that was both appealing and reckless.

That got me worried, and I followed his line of sight. He was looking at the roof. There was a small window there. Einar noticed me staring and pointedly changed the direction of his gaze toward the abandoned jeep that stood nearby.

“I wonder if that’s still got petrol in it,” he mused out loud. “Why don’t you go check, please, Fin?”