Page 26 of Welcome to the Table

Wisdom reached over to kiss my forehead before standing. He slid me a pre-rolled blunt and nodded to my window.

“You know what to do.” He winked at me and walked out my door.

I looked on my bed where he had previously sat and noticed a lighter and two knots of money along with a note.

He was slick as fuck because I didn’t see anything in his hands when he walked into my room.

I didn’t hear his footsteps when he left either, but I smiled.

I knew he wouldn’t smoke with me because he deemed it disrespectful.

Wisdom was like my second father because Melph would forever be head honcho in my heart.

I grabbed the things but opened the note first. I was curious to know what he had to tell me.

Pumpkin,

Don’t worry about the moment, but trust the future. I will protect you with my life. Smoke yo’ blunt and chill until tomorrow. And try not to put the paws on Hellcat. Take this money and spend his, too, but not too much.

Wizzy

I laughed at the name because when I was little, I could never pronounce his name.

He was right about me and Hellcat, though.

Our relationship was on some love-hate shit.

I loved my brother with everything in me, but we could not get along for shit.

I would kill a motherfucker behind my brothers, but Hellcat always took shit too far.

He had no pause button, so I knew tomorrow would be eventful.

I got up, put my note on my dresser, and walked into my closet.

Then, I grabbed my pink Kurt Geiger bag and threw the money inside.

I opened my window, sat on the windowsill, flicked the lighter, and lit my blunt as I took in the scenery.

My father had redone the backyard over the years, and now it looked like it belonged on MTV.

The garden was beautiful. Daisies, pink and red roses, orchids, and a bunch of other flowers were growing on one side.

The other side was cabbage, greens, jalapeno peppers, sage, and it looked like some weed, too.

That was my mother’s doing. There was a deck that led to the pool. I knew I would have fun.

I smoked my blunt, just thinking about myself.

I was a pretty girl. I was still petite but had a little weight on me from all the eating I did when I was in New York.

It felt good to be home. I put my blunt out just as my door opened.

I panicked, thinking it was my daddy, but was surprised that it was my mother instead.

My bond with my mother was unbreakable, but I did hold a little resentment because she didn’t speak up for me when my daddy sent me away.

“Girl, don’t put that shit out. I need it more than you do. And since when do yo’ ass smoke trees?” She walked in and closed the door.

We looked at each other and burst out laughing.

My mother was beautiful. Long, beautiful hair that touched the middle of her back, which I inherited.

I had her body, too. The only thing I didn’t have was her color.

I was a mixture of her and my dad. I didn’t have the funny colored eyes like my brothers either.

Athena didn’t look a day over thirty. She had aged gracefully.

Her bowlegs strutted over to me like she was ripping the runway.

Her long, black hair was hanging over her left shoulder, and her face was glowing.

Her eyes were slanted, and her skin was the perfect shade of vanilla mixed with mocha.

She had on a silk nightgown, but her eyes looked troubled, and I knew my father was the culprit.

She had on her fuzzy slippers, but I knew my mother.

Everything she wore was expensive, so they didn’t come from Walmart.

She made her way to me and took the blunt out of my hand.

“Why yo’ ass sitting in the windowsill? You are thinking about jumping? If you are, take me fucking with you.”

We shared a laugh.

“No, but I know there is no smoking in the house, and there are all those men downstairs guarding everything, so I knew they wouldn’t let me out of the gate.” I wasn’t about to rat on Wisdom.

She gave me a look that I couldn’t read before grabbing my arm and pulling me into a hug. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling because I really did miss my family, even though Hellcat got on my nerves. Athena’s hugs were what I missed most, and I needed them so much.

“Go ahead and cry witcho crybaby ass,” she whispered in my ear, and that’s exactly what I did.

We held each other for a few minutes before I let her go, and she looked me in the eyes. We were the same height, but I was a little thicker.

“This is my fucking house. Who told you that you can’t smoke in here?

Ya paw? Please. He doesn’t run shit around here but his mouth.

I control this shit while he controls the fucking streets.

You can smoke yo’ shit anywhere in this bitch as long as you let yo’ momma hit it.

As far as the guards, ya paw did that for this shit that’s going on.

Hence, the reason Wisdom’s ass is here, but I told him I can take care of us.

Your brothers are only a phone call away, with the exception of Calliope because his ass lives in the forest. He meant he wanted a private fucking life, and he made it that way,” she told me, then hit the blunt.

I found it so funny that she still smoked after all these years.

I remember as a little girl sitting on the steps between my mother’s legs as she braided my natural hair for school.

My hair was always long and naturally beautiful.

Athena didn’t trust anyone with my hair, so she did it herself.

She would smoke and have her bottle of MD 20/20 on the side of her with Blue Magic grease smeared on the back of her hand with a comb in the other.

I always had a different braiding style every week because my hair was so long.

That was our bonding time until I was a senior in high school.

My mother and I talked about everything except the shit that went on in the Black Guerrilla Mafia business.

She told me little shit, but not the day-to-day shit.

I could respect her honesty because my father tried to shield me from shit, and I didn’t like that.

There were days that my mother would drive me to school, get out of the car with me, and walk me to class.

She would always tell me that you should only have two friends that you could trust with your life, and she was one of them.

I couldn’t wait until I was able to go out alone and see the one friend I did have because she didn’t even know I was in the city yet.

“I know you miss home, and I wish you could have come home on your own time, but this shit that’s going on is critical. The extra security is for after his departure,” she said, passing the blunt to me.

“But Wisdom gon’ be here, right? I asked.

“Yeah, but he has a life, too. He can’t watch us every day. Of course, I am not going to hold you hostage while you’re here. You were doing that enough in New York,” she told me, and my eyes bucked out of my head.

“Don’t look like that. When it comes to my fucking children, whether they are here or on Pluto, I got eyes everywhere.

I had eyes on you since the day you left.

Not your father’s security, I had my own.

I knew you didn’t go anywhere but school and back to your apartment.

That was borderline depression. I hate that you had to be forced to come home by Hollygrove. ” She chuckled.

“But this needed to happen, so think about it as an extended vacation,” she told me, and I nodded my agreement with my silence.

We moved to the sofa that was on the left side of my room to continue smoking.

I was about to see how much information I could get out of her.

I sat on one side, and she sat across from me, taking her slippers off and propping her feet under her.

I did the same because I knew she was about to spill some tea.

“What’s tea, Momma? Because I know it’s burning yo’ tongue and waiting to spill out,” I told her with a giggle. She grabbed my pink ashtray to flick the ashes before speaking.

“You gon’ have to lean forward because yo’ paw got cameras all over this bitch, and he ain’t sleep yet, so he gon’ hear us,” she said. “But, then again, I don’t give a fuck what he hears because this my shit. The cameras were his doing,” she said loud as fuck, and I laughed.

“After I came upstairs to do my lil crying and being mad spell,” she said, but I knew how she really felt.

My mother had serious separation anxiety when it came to my father―he was all she’d ever known, at least as far as I could tell.

I knew her heart strings were being pulled every which way but loose, but she had to take it to the chin and act accordingly.

“I was so upset that he didn’t tell me he was leaving beforehand. I didn’t know about any of this shit until he told everybody. I felt like he was keeping secrets, and you know how I feel about that shit.” She picked the blunt back up and smoked.

“He walked in, and I had my pink AR15 pointed at his ass, but he talked me into putting it down.” I felt my face warm. I never knew my parents to fuss, so this had to be serious.

“He pulled his on me and talked me into putting mine down, amongst other things.” She blushed, and I dropped my head bashfully.

“I know yo’ ass ain’t still a fucking virgin?”

I felt her eyes on me, but I refused to look up.

“I know they had a slew of niggas in New York who were at your feet, and you never gave in.” She was right, but I wouldn’t let her know that.

“Yes, I am still a virgin. My mind wasn’t on sex or niggas in New York,” I told her, and she shook her head.

“I know my children, so I know that much about you, and I’m proud of everything you have accomplished. I taught all y’all well,” she told me, and I smiled.

I lifted my head to look at her.

“She better stay a fucking virgin, and stop telling her our fucking business. She is a child and doesn’t need to hear what the fuck be going on in our bedroom!” My father’s loud ass voice came through the speaker.

I almost pissed on myself. My mother ignored him. She reached over on the table and placed her entire handprint on it. I looked at her, confused.

“I’m always ten steps ahead of your father. My handprint can stop his ass from hearing what we say, but he can still see us.”

I laughed because my mother hadn’t changed over the years.

“Now, let me tell you the other shit before he comes busting in this room, showing his entire ass.”

My eyes were trained on her because I wanted to know. I scooted closer to the edge of the sofa.

“There is a snake in your father’s operation that has to be found.” I looked at her, and she rolled her eyes.

“You really think it’s a snake or a setup? Are we in danger?” I leaned more toward the first part.

I just found it strange after all these years that someone would try anything.

My father played a big part in different communities around the city.

Food giveaways, back-to-school giveaways―amongst other things, to help the community, so I found that hard to believe.

Everything was coming full circle. That’s why I was in the city.

“Baby, we are never in danger. Whoever is playing with this family better count their days,” she told me, and we both turned our heads at the door being kicked open.

I watched as my daddy walked into the room, looking like the Grim Reaper. I had never seen that look in his eyes before. Anger. Almost immortal. His walk spoke volumes. He was mad. He walked closer toward us, looking from me to my mom, and I was scared for us both. He stood in front of my mother.

“You muted the fucking system so I wouldn’t hear what the fuck you told my daughter?! Get the fuck up, Athena,” he tried to whisper, but I heard every word.

“You mean our daughter. You can’t protect her from everything. You not gon’ lead her blindly. I told yo’ ass that before. She needs to know, so she can protect herself. You want to tell her bits and pieces, but this shit is way deeper than that,” she fussed at him.

Daddy was silent. He turned to look at me and saw the fear in my eyes.

“Excuse me, Ladybug.” I didn’t know what he was talking about until he grabbed the front of my mother’s nightgown, pulling her to her feet.

I sat back on the sofa. I had never seen them like this. My mother laughed at his gesture.

“Melph, let me fucking go before I show our daughter who really runs this fucking house. You are showing her shit that she ain’t used to seeing between us.” My mother laughed, but I was horrified.

“Nah, because you talking too fucking much. Let’s go before I snap yo’ fucking neck. This girl talk shit is over.” He let her down, and she stumbled a bit, laughing the entire time.

That made me less scared because he wasn’t hurting her. She straightened her dress and winked at me before following him out my door. I laughed and shook my head. Maybe that’s what happened in my absence.

My dad stopped, causing my mother to pause. “Hellcat and Hollygrove gon’ take you shopping for everything you need to finish school online.”

With that, he walked out the door. I felt like a giddy schoolgirl when he mentioned Hollygrove.

All those teenage feelings came rushing back like a hurricane, but I kept it to myself.

They would kill Hollygrove if they knew I liked him.

That’s the ironic part about it. They would kill him for me wanting him, and he didn’t even know.

They had officially blown my high, so I grabbed the half smoked blunt and ashtray, went back to my windowsill, and pulled the window open.

I missed the noise and humidity of the city.

The wet wind made my hair turn back into its natural curly state as I smoked.

I looked out as the trees blew, and it gave me a sense of peace.

I smoked my blunt until I got high enough to fall asleep.

Then, I put it out, fell into my bed, and was asleep in seconds.