Page 15 of Welcome to the Table

Raven

I don’t know what came over me. Something about Hellcat had me ready to risk it all and tell him everything, but I knew I couldn’t.

I had to keep certain shit to myself so he could trust me.

I knew he wanted me, and the feelings were mutual because I had watched him for so long.

Since I had been in New Orleans, I had been watching him.

That phone call I was on was not a nigga I was fucking with, but my brother trying to figure out where the fuck I was.

I had long ago left Colombia and moved around the United States, so my family wouldn’t find me.

I didn’t want to be a part of what they had going on, and I made sure of it.

I had been traveling since I was nineteen and decided to settle in New Orleans.

Hellcat was different from the other men I observed.

He was too young to have all the things he possessed, so I dug a little deeper into his life.

I couldn’t find too much, so I left it alone.

That was until I ran into him on the elevator.

I made a good life for myself, and I loved how I lived.

Quiet and peaceful. I didn’t know anyone, and I moved in silence.

I had enough money to live three lifetimes, so I didn’t need a job.

I made sure before I left home that I had everything I would need.

If I didn’t have it, I would get it along the way.

Freedom is what I finally had, but I had a gut feeling that Hellcat wasn’t about to leave me alone.

Hard as I wanted to be, I didn’t want him to leave me alone.

I needed him to trust me, fall in love with me, even, but I knew he would be a hard nut to crack.

He needed to tell his brother about the bitch he was fucking before I did, because I knew everything about little Miss Klarity.

She didn’t recognize me, but I knew exactly who she was.

Her entire fucking life was a lie, but I didn’t know the entire truth, so I couldn’t speak on it unless I had facts.

My phone buzzed in my hand, and I looked down and noticed that it was from Hellcat, but he had his name saved under Punisher.

Punisher: I hope you got in safe. You already know who this is. You smell like cotton candy, so stay sweet.

I blushed because I believed he did have a soft side. I pulled up my keyboard to text him back.

Me: Sweet but sometimes sour, but always sweet for you

I texted him back and laughed. The name spoke a lot, but I would be quiet for now.

I held my phone to my chest because I knew I would fall in love with this nigga, but I couldn’t deal with a heartbreak, so I hoped he knew what he was doing fucking with me.

I couldn’t stop blushing; I felt like a schoolgirl getting a message from her first crush, and I didn’t want to control it.

Maybe it was time for me to explore. Hellcat being the first.

I got on the elevator with mixed feelings.

I wasn’t here to fuck up Hellcat’s life, but I did want to explore what we could become as a couple.

I knew he was younger than me, but I didn’t give a fuck.

I liked my men young anyway. If my family chose to really find me, mainly my father and brother, shit would be bad.

I kept shit from Hellcat because I didn’t know him like that, but I knew he would eventually find out who I was and possibly kill me.

Was that a chance I was willing to take? For true love, damn right.

I saw a younger version of myself in Hellcat. I knew he had love from his family, but never had real love from a woman, and I wanted to be that woman to give it to him. I had to earn his trust, and today I knew the ice was melting a little.

Running into Hellcat was a complete surprise, but it was something I needed. My spirit told me we needed each other, even if it was for a season. Hellcat looked like a troubled soul. It mirrored mine, but we were just from different parts of the world.

I got off on my floor and went straight to the bathroom.

I had to piss. My nerves were on edge the entire time I was out there, but I kept my poker face on.

I learned as a child living with my mother and father that I could and would never let my face and body reveal my feelings.

I was a demon on the outside, but when those bullets started flying, I regretted leaving my gun at home.

Hellcat must not carry guns because he didn’t do shit but get us out of there safe, and I loved that about him.

He was more worried about me than himself, and that spoke volumes.

I couldn’t wait until he came back to the building because I wanted to talk to him about a few things regarding my life.

I turned the shower on and undressed to decompress and catch up on some reading until I heard from Hellcat again.