Page 44 of Welcome Home to Ivy Falls (Ivy Falls #3)

FORD

Under My Skin

No matter how often I made this trip, the jet lag was always a killer. It didn’t help that every time I closed my eyes on the plane, Piper’s luscious lips, the tangle of her dark hair sliding through my fingertips, filled my head.

She wouldn’t let us have a long goodbye.

I held on to her hands like a lifeline. Asked her if she wanted to tell me anything, hoping she’d open up, or at least give me a hint that she felt the same way I did.

Instead, she boomeranged the question back at me and I lost my nerve.

She let me hold her for a while longer and when my phone buzzed, notifying me that my ride-share was waiting, she gave me a quick peck on the cheek and disappeared into her apartment.

I stared at her door for a long time, reliving the moment I knocked on it only to find her bloody and wrapped in that ridiculous dancing unicorn shower curtain. The moment I was sure I’d fallen in love with her.

Several times last night the truth played against my lips, but the way she spoke about my commitment to the program, how she’d easily walked away when we said goodbye, said that deep in her heart she’d already let me go. That realization was a fucking jab to the heart I still couldn’t shake.

‘Ford!’

My pal, Kip, walked down the ship’s narrow hallway. His boots thudded against the yellow linoleum, his deep voice echoing off the sterile white walls. I stumbled toward him, forgetting how it took a while to get your balance settled on a bobbing ship.

‘How long have you been back, man?’ His huge mitt of a hand slapped against mine in a friendly handshake.

‘A few hours.’

‘You look like shit.’

‘Damn, Kip. Don’t sugarcoat things for me.’

He gave a simple shrug like that’d never be his way. ‘Your cabin is all set up. Made sure your Wi-Fi is in good working order. That leak is gone from your sink too.’

‘Thank you. That constant drip before was maddening.’

‘How was the States? Do anything interesting on your time off?’ Now it was my turn to shrug but I did a bad job because he said, ‘There’s a story there, and I’m off shift. Looks like you could use a cup of coffee.’

What I could really use was sleep, but in order to get my body on the right time I had to stay up until at least the sun went down. ‘Good idea. Let’s go.’

We ambled down the corridor, passing cabins and offices. I’d forgotten the constant frenetic pace on board the ship. How the crew and hospital staff were always in motion. The place was like a floating city that never slept.

In his typical booming voice, Kip filled me in on what I’d missed while I was gone. ‘The doctor who replaced you was good but distracted. Could have guessed he’d never finish his contract. Apparently his mom had been sick for a while. Heart issues.’

My thoughts went to Mrs Vanderpool. I knew she was in good hands with Doc Sheridan, but there was still a twinge in my chest when I considered her treatment. How they were waiting to see if the medication would work before deciding if she needed a pacemaker.

Thinking of her led to Silvio, Dex and the rest of the town.

I’d been convinced when I took the job at the clinic that it was simply that: a job.

Not in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that the people, the place, would work its way under my skin.

Hell, I’d been gone less than twenty-four hours and I already missed it.

When we stepped over the framed entry to the dining hall, the scent of fried eggs and burnt toast hit me.

The wide-open space was just as sterile as the hallway walls.

Over two dozen picnic-style benches covered the room.

In one corner sat the glass and metal serving area.

Beyond it was a bank of machines housing water, ice and soft drinks.

Only a few members of the staff and crew sat at the tables as it was well past breakfast.

I took a seat on one of the long benches while Kip grabbed us some coffee. He started filling the mugs until a woman with red hair stepped beside him. They swapped a few words before she lifted the steel carafe off the counter and carried it back into the kitchen.

Kip made his way back and sat across from me.

‘Who was that you were talking to?’

‘That’s Vivienne. She’s the one I told you about.

’ He leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling like he was contemplating the meaning of life.

‘Dude, she makes these little quiches with ham and Swiss cheese.’ He put his hands to his lips and made a loud kissing noise. ‘Total fucking perfection.’

‘Have you asked her out again?’

He beamed at me. ‘Yes. Last week I took her to brunch at that five-star ocean-view hotel that lets you see all the way to Gorée Island.’

I nudged him with my elbow. ‘Look at you going all out.’

‘It’s probably one of the best dates I’ve ever been on.’

‘And have you made another date?’

‘She’s busy this week, but we agreed to get drinks at the lighthouse soon.’ He took a sip of coffee, his eyes narrowing on me. ‘Speaking of women, ’fess up. I can tell by your hangdog look that you met someone.’

I scratched a hand through my hair, took a sip of coffee and made an uncomfortable gulp. ‘Gah, that’s bad. You can’t really drink it if you’ve had the good stuff.’

‘Good stuff? This from the guy who swore the only kind of good coffee was black.’

‘Things change,’ I murmured, pushing the cup away.

‘Does coffee have something to do with the girl?’

I clasped my hands on the table and spilled the entire story about Piper. Showed him the selfie we’d taken at the lake. Told him about our first ‘sticky’ encounter. The way she’d not wanted anything to do with me at first. How the small town had made it impossible to avoid each other.

He drained his cup and set his hulking elbows on the table. ‘How’d you leave it?’

‘Said we’d talk. Maybe FaceTime.’

‘That’s it?’

‘She made it clear that when I left we could only be friends.’

‘That was after you told her how you felt?’

My body sank as I laid my head on the table in defeat. ‘No,’ I mumbled.

‘Ford, you’re a smart guy. Since I met you a few years ago, you’ve had tunnel vision. Married to nothing but medicine. Finally you meet the perfect girl and you don’t tell her how you feel? Sounds like a cop-out, man.’

‘I was doing what she wanted,’ I said in my own defense.

‘What about what you want? Even if she turned you down, at least you would have gotten your truth out there. You’ll never know how she felt because you were too much of a frightened ass to be honest.’

The telltale signs of jet lag – a throbbing headache, blurry eyes – descended. I sat up and said, ‘I need to go lie down.’

‘The great thing about living in the modern world is that we can make phone calls, send texts, do FaceTime, Zoom, any time we want,’ he said ignoring me. ‘You won’t feel right until you tell her your true feelings. Take care of it now before you get too wrapped up in your duties here.’

‘When did you get so damn smart about women?’

He gave me a weighted look. ‘Some a-hole told me I shouldn’t give up. That I should practice my French.’

I laughed, told him I’d see him later, and headed back to my cabin. My balance grew more unsteady as I passed the crew’s sleeping quarters, the maintenance offices and the section of the ship where they sorted the mail.

More than once, I was stopped in the hallways by nurses, techs, some of the deck crew, who shook my hand and welcomed me back. My wandering led me to my door but for some reason, even though my head was pounding, I continued to the end of the hall and pushed out the door leading to the deck.

Senegal was finally in its dry season and the temperatures hovered around the low eighties. I took in a breath of fresh air. This was what I needed to clear my mind, stop my temples from throbbing.

Laughter and singing pulled me to the starboard side of the ship. On the deck below sat the program’s school.

One of the best things about Humanity of the Seas was that they allowed families of the staff to live on board, which meant the ship needed a school.

I leaned my arms over the railing, glancing down at the kids sitting in a circle.

A teacher sat in the center with an acoustic guitar laid across her lap.

She whispered to the kids before picking up the instrument and strumming out the first note.

The children swayed along until they began singing the sweetest melody.

Piper would have loved this. How the kids sang in unison, clapping their hands along to the beat. The way the teacher beamed at them, nodding her head in an encouraging way.

Since I’d walked on to the ship, I’d waited for the familiar feeling of relief.

The comforting sense that I was home, but only a hollow ache filled my chest. My pulse lacking its regular hum of anticipation.

It didn’t take long for me to figure out what was wrong.

Why being here felt like a big mistake. This place wasn’t Ivy Falls.

There wouldn’t be any more free donuts and unsolicited advice from Barb and Susan, or constant waves and phone calls from Silvio and Old Mrs V. The elated smile from Dex when we did our secret handshake.

Piper made me swear things would end with us once my time in Ivy Falls was over, and I’d let her set the rules because I needed to be with her.

But in that frenzy of want, I’d ignored what my life needed.

What my mind and heart had been screaming since I’d gotten on the plane.

That Ivy Falls was where I was meant to be. That Piper was my home.

The sad part was I couldn’t go back. She was thousands of miles away. I was here.

There was no changing that fact now, no matter how much I wanted to make things different.