Page 31 of Welcome Home to Ivy Falls (Ivy Falls #3)
PIPER
Silenced By Tenderness
I should have known better. In my life, a day that started out wonderful always had a chance to do a complete one-eighty and turn into total and complete shit.
When Ford was sure Old Mrs V was hydrated, he walked her and Silvio out of the clinic.
He gave them his private cell number. Told them more than once that if she needed help they should reach out any time, day or night.
She thanked him again and let Silvio take her arm and walk her to his car parked on the street.
We headed back to the apartment in silence. Late Sundays in the square were quiet. Peaceful. The shops all closed at three, forcing the tourists out of town. In those precious hours until sunset, it was like the place finally belonged to Ivy Falls again.
Ford held my hand as if he was my anchor. A part of me thought he was worried I was mad at him, but I understood why he couldn’t say a word. The feeling bubbling up inside of me wasn’t anger – it was terror.
Old Mrs V had become my touchstone, my kick in the pants.
On days when I was desperately missing my mother, when that relentless voice in my head insisted things would be easier if I had a drink or a pill, she’d appear with a smile and a kind word.
Her confident reassurances insisting I was strong enough to let the feeling pass.
I was staying sober for me, but a big part of my need to remain clean was because I couldn’t disappoint her.
Not after all the ways she’d stood up for me.
How she’d stared down the people who whispered their worries about my role in directing the play.
Made a big display of telling anyone who would listen that the show was going to be the best one in years because I had talent and knew what I was doing.
Ford moved closer. ‘You can talk to me. Mrs V gave me permission to answer any question you have.’
‘I don’t even know where to start.’
He gave me a weary smile. ‘Ask me about her diagnosis or treatment.’
We reached the hallway to our apartments and he leaned against my doorframe.
‘Is she in a lot of pain? Will it get worse?’ I closed my eyes, my chest tightening. ‘Is she going to die?’
His finger slid under my chin, the scent of lake water and sunscreen wafting off his skin. ‘Open your eyes, Bird.’
His solid blue gaze was what I needed. It was focused. Confident. He reached out and placed his hand over my wrist where I was rubbing my tattoo. ‘Half the challenge is getting her diagnosed. Making sure she is taking the medication and her body is adjusting.’
‘And my last question,’ I asked, even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer.
‘No one knows how long we have on this earth. For now, she is getting the best care possible and is responding well.’
He pulled me into a hug and the steady beat of his heart washed over me. ‘It’s been a long day. Why don’t you head inside and get some rest.’
There wasn’t anything else I needed right now besides him. How the weight of his arms around me made me feel safe. The rise and fall of his chest calming my own frenzied breaths.
When this moment came I was convinced I’d be terrified.
I’d spent years in therapy untangling all the complicated feelings I had about intimacy.
The fear that wrapped around my heart like barbed wire when I considered trusting another soul.
How in the past I’d made hundreds of wrong choices that ended up dumping me into a dark spiral of despair.
But as I stared into Ford’s soft eyes, I had a very clear understanding of what I wanted.
I threaded my fingers through his and pulled him through my door. Once it was closed, I pressed my body against his, slid my hand up under his T-shirt, needing to feel him.
‘Piper,’ he said unsteadily. ‘A short time ago you got difficult news about your friend. As much as I love how you touch me, I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this right now.’
I tilted my head to meet his gaze. ‘Ford, I’m a grown woman.
For years, I’ve been fighting to get my life back.
Before you got here, I’d walled myself off from all emotion.
Too afraid that anything intense would interfere with my recovery.
But do you know what I’ve learned since I started spending time with you? ’
He lovingly tucked a hair behind my ear. ‘Tell me.’
‘That letting myself feel, want,’ I held him firmly by the waist, ‘desire things, will not send me into a spiral. If I live my life always being afraid, never taking another chance, it’ll be a colorless existence.’
‘And with me things are…’
I loved the way his breath hitched as I wound my arms behind his neck. ‘Things are very much in color. Electric, shimmering, fucking brilliant neon color.’
The smile he gave me lit up every element in my body.
I pressed my mouth to his and was met with a kiss so tender it made my limbs quiver.
His hands made a slow trek up my back, until they found my hair.
With a gentle tug, he pulled away the elastic band and my hair spilled over my shoulders.
He was being gentle, careful, and that was the last thing I wanted.
I ran my hands down over his shirt and tugged at the hem. He took the hint, taking off his glasses and pulling his T-shirt over his head. His gaze scanned the room like he was looking for a spot to place them.
‘Leave your glasses on. They’re sexy.’ I nipped at the corner of his lip and followed it with a soothing, slow kiss.
He steered me backwards until my back hit the wall near the door.
His kisses were no longer restrained as his mouth moved down my neck.
The edges of his fingers skimmed the side of my tank top before he had it up my sides and over my head.
Not waiting a beat, the ties were quickly loose on my bikini top.
As soon as the small bit of fabric was in a pool at my feet, his tongue was on me, swirling away the ache in my breasts.
‘Is it ridiculous to say that even though I’ve had lots of thoughts about this moment, it’s a thousand times better in person?’ he whispered against my skin.
‘No,’ I stuttered as he worked his mouth over my other nipple and I arched back wanting more. His hand steadied me from behind as he trailed more kisses down my side, over my torso, stopping at the waistband of my cutoff shorts.
‘Can I?’ The reverence in his voice had me quickly nodding.
He fell to his knees and tugged down my shorts, my bikini bottoms quickly following.
Without knowing it, I started to rub at my wrist. Ford’s stare moved to my nervous motion.
‘Bird, look at me.’
I gazed down into his beautiful blue eyes.
‘You need to tell me if you’re okay. That you want this. That you want me.’
This was my chance to stop.
To turn back.
The voices that often told me I wasn’t good enough, that the only way I could have a normal life was to be numb through drugs or alcohol, were silenced by the tenderness in his gaze.
No man had ever looked at me that way. Like he wanted to take care of me.
Wanted to know what was truly in my heart.
That whatever I said in the next few moments would be all right with him.
There was no pressure or expectation, only the hope of what might be.
I twisted his dark curls between my fingers. ‘Yes,’ I said with determination. ‘I want you to be mine.’
The smile that crossed his face was equal parts joy and hunger and it made me dig my fingers deeper into his hair.
Ever so slowly he ran his hands down my thighs. It was a slow kind of torture that made my core throb. He bent down and kissed my ankles. Ran his tongue up my calves until he returned to my thighs.
There was a reverence to his touch that made a sob crowd my throat. Every sexual experience I’d had was about male want and need. It was a frenzied toss of clothes, two seconds of foreplay, until the guy greedily shoved his way inside me.
Ford touched me like I was precious. A gift he slowly wanted to unwrap.
Every look, every sigh, said he wanted to take his time.
That my pleasure was as important as his.
This wasn’t a quick screw for him. It was a slow and treading exploration of my body.
A whisper of tenderness, a promise of intimacy, he never wanted me to forget.
His mouth was on me again, and I leaned back and let him bring me to the edge of bliss without a single thought except that I wanted more.