Page 7 of Wedding Whitney (Alaska Blizzard #4.5)

Jake

Between the Go Karts, the Oil Derrick, and the Roaring Rapids, it’s a busy day, even when I’m sitting on a bench with the double stroller in front of me.

The others are riding all the fun roller coasters, but staying with the twins doesn’t bother me.

Hank is my buddy, and even though Kelsey is more attached to Whitney since she spends a lot of time over at Kane and Hailey’s house, the twins are comfortable with both of us.

I like kids, in general, but my ex-wife’s dozen miscarriages have me hesitant to try again.

The specialist we saw told us our genetic disorder is extremely rare and it was just bad luck that both of us carried the gene that kept Addy from being able to carry a baby to term.

I still worry about it because I don’t know if I can go through another miscarriage, but I still want to be a dad.

Obviously, miscarriages happen a lot, even without genetic disorders, especially early in pregnancy, but I went through so much with Addy, and it feels like there’s suddenly a lot of pressure to have kids. Not from Whitney, but from everyone else. Her family, our friends, even my teammates.

No one’s being a jerk, just a lot of lighthearted teasing, but my demons are scrambling to the surface in a hurry. I don’t know why I’m suddenly stressed about it and chalk it up to pre-wedding jitters, but all this stress is starting to piss me off.

Hank’s wail of distress as he comes awake pulls me back to the present, and I scoop up the fussy baby.

“Hey, big guy,” I soothe. “What’s the matter? I’m here.” Hank buries his head in my shoulder, and I bounce him a little.

Being a dad would be awesome, I think.

And maybe that’s the problem.

I really do want to be a father, but it doesn’t seem to be a priority for Whitney, and until we get the results of the genetic testing, it feels like I’m in a holding pattern emotionally.

We can’t even discuss a timeline until we know, but initially, I hadn’t even wanted to do the testing.

Now that we have, I want to know immediately, and from the outside looking in, it looks like I’m being indecisive as fuck, which isn’t like me at all.

“Hey.” Kane sinks down next to me.

“He just woke up, and he’s a little cranky,” I say, handing over the baby.

“They’re not used to this heat,” he says, bouncing Hank on his knee until he laughs.

“Me either.”

“So everything okay? You’ve been kind of quiet today,” Kane looks over at me curiously.

I blow out a breath and give him an overview of what’s been going on with Whitney’s father and brother.

“Oh, fuck them and the horses they rode in on.” Kane makes a face. “You and Whitney should still elope.”

“Believe me, if her grandmother wouldn’t be crushed, we would have already done it.”

“Look, I’m here, and I’ve got your back. If you need someone to be there for you, just shoot me a text.”

“I appreciate that.”

“What are friends for? I mean, why else am I here?”

“Hopefully, not to be back-up in case I do something crazy before my wedding.”

We eye each other warily before bursting out laughing.

“Look, weddings are stressful by nature,” Kane says after a moment. “But you and Whitney are solid, right?”

“Yeah, we are.” I blow out a breath. “That’s why this is so weird. I don’t know what’s going on with me, and it has nothing to do with how much I love her or wanting to marry her or any of it. I think her father just pisses me off so much, and I can’t do anything about it, so I let it eat at me.”

“Just stay away from them between now and the wedding, and it’ll be okay.”

“I don’t think anything with this family is going to be that easy, but I’m going to do my best.”

“That’s all any of us can do.” He absently pats Hank’s back. “And anyway, the rest of the guys will be here soon, and we’ll all rally around.”

“I could really use some of that right about now.”

“I’ll make sure it happens.”

We’re exhausted after a day at an amusement park, so we sleep in the following morning and finally wander downstairs for breakfast around ten.

Whitney pours us each a cup of coffee, and we sit in the sunroom.

Lillian has gone to the office for a few hours, so we have a little quiet time, which is nice.

“Oh, I missed a call,” Whitney says, looking at her phone. “I must’ve been in the bathroom.”

“Who from?” I ask.

“The specialist’s office.”

“Oh.” I meet her gaze. “We should, uh, call them back, huh?”

“Yeah.” She takes another sip of coffee and finally picks up her phone, hitting the call-back button and putting it on speaker phone. “Yes, hello, this is Whitney Ravenworth, returning a call from Dr. Morganstern.”

“Hello, Ms. Ravenworth. Dr. Morganstern had to go out of town for a family emergency, but she left a note to call you as soon as your results came in because of your upcoming honeymoon.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“Could you come in on Thursday at ten-thirty?”

“She wants us to come in?” Whitney asks, surprise in her voice.

“Oh, we never give results on the phone. She always calls patients back in to go over everything in detail. Dr. Morganstern is very thorough.”

“Uh, yeah.” Whitney glances at me, and I nod. “Okay, so Thursday at ten-thirty. We’ll be there.”

“Excellent. Thank you. Have a wonderful rest of your day.”

“Same to you.” Whitney disconnects and looks over at me. “Did you and Addy have to go in for all your results?”

I nod. “Yeah, we did. But this woman said Dr. Morganstern has everyone come in.”

“I know.” Whitney chews her lip. “I was just hoping we wouldn’t have to because we’ve got so much going on. Guests from out of town are starting to arrive, and there’s still a lot to do.”

“We can take a couple of hours out of our day for something so important,” I say gently.

“I know.”

“It’s going to be fine,” I promise, reaching for her hand. “Don’t worry about anything, okay?”

“Okay.” She smiles at me. “Same goes for you, though.”

I chuckle. “I’m a little gun-shy after what Addy and I went through with miscarriages and all that, but I’m fine if you are.”

“I am. I told you—as long as I have you, I don’t want or need anything else.”

“Have I told you I love you yet today?”

“Nope.”

“I fucking love you, Ms. Ravenworth.”

“That’s Future-Mrs.-Carruthers to you, buddy.”

“Yes, ma’am. I apologize.”

She leans over for a kiss and short-term, everything in my world starts to settle down.

Now let’s just hope it lasts.