Page 26 of We Were Liars

MIRREN AND JOHNNY go in the water with snorkels and fins. They kick around looking for lobsters. Probably there are only jellyfish and tiny crabs, but even with those slim pickings we have snorkeled at the tiny beach, always.

Gat sits with me on a batik blanket. We watch the others in silence.

I don’t know how to talk to him.

I love him.

He’s been an ass.

I shouldn’t love him. I’m stupid for still loving him. I have to forget about it.

Maybe he still thinks I am pretty. Even with my hair and the hollows beneath my eyes. Maybe.

The muscles of his back shift beneath his T-shirt. The curve of his neck, the soft arch of his ear. A little brown mole on the side of his neck. The moons of his fingernails. I drink him up after so long apart.

“Don’t look at my troll feet,” says Gat suddenly.

“What?”

“They’re hideous. A troll snuck into my room at night, took my normal feet for himself, and left me with his thuggish troll feet.” Gat tucks his feet under a towel so I can’t see them. “Now you know the truth.”

I am relieved we are talking about nothing important. “Wear shoes.”

“I’m not wearing shoes on the beach.” He wiggles his feet out from beneath the towel. They look fine. “I have to act like everything’s okay until I can find that troll. Then I’ll kill him to death and get my normal feet back. Have you got weapons?”

“No.”

“Come on.”

“Um. There’s a fire poker in Windemere.”

“All right. As soon as we see that troll, we’ll kill him to death with your fire poker.”

“If you insist.”

I lie back on the blanket and put my arm over my eyes. We are silent for a moment.

“Trolls are nocturnal,” I add.

“Cady?” Gat whispers.

I turn my face to look in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“I thought I might never see you again.”

“What?” He is so close we could kiss.

“I thought I might never see you again. After everything that happened, then when you weren’t here last summer.”

Why didn’t you write me? I want to say. Why didn’t you call, all this time?

He touches my face. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he says. “I’m so glad I got the chance.”

I don’t know what is between us. I really don’t. He is such an ass.

“Give me your hand,” Gat says.

I am not sure I want to.

But then of course I do want to.

His skin is warm and sandy. We intertwine our fingers and close our eyes against the sun.

We just lie there. Holding hands. He rubs my palm with his thumb like he did two summers ago beneath the stars.

And I melt.