Page 2 of Watch Your Back (Devil’s Backbone #2)

Ashley is not okay. She’s blaming herself for what happened with Heath, and we’re all too scared of our own heads to reassure her otherwise. Royce won’t even take my calls, so I can’t ask him for help. Dick. Maybe Carter can deal with her instead. I sure as fuck don’t want to.

F or the first time in weeks, I slept soundly.

After sitting up late chatting with my dad and crying way too much over Heath, I’d finally fallen asleep on the sofa in front of the flickering fireplace.

When I woke, I was tucked up in my bed once more and the crisp smell of laundry detergent said my sheets had been changed. Probably Mom.

The sadness was still there, like a permanent mark on my heart, but I could breathe.

Putting myself into the shower seemed easier, knowing both my parents—and Max—were here in the house and there was nothing they couldn’t fix. Right?

Christmas music tinkled through the house, and sounds of laughter chimed like bells as I made my way downstairs at a leisurely midmorning time.

The kitchen was empty, but I quickly found the three parents in the living room.

Mom sat on the floor under the enormous tree, surrounded by what seemed like hundreds of carefully wrapped gifts, and the pure happiness on her face was impossible to ignore.

On the sofa, grinning back at her, both my dad and Max sat side by side. Dad held a steaming mug of something—probably cocoa since he didn’t caffeinate—and Max had his arm slung over Dad’s shoulders. It was cozy and I hesitated, suddenly questioning whether I was interrupting something.

“Good morning, sweetheart!” Mom sang out, seeing me hovering in the doorway. She scrambled up off the floor and skipped over to hug me warmly. “Merry Christmas, Ash. How’d you sleep?”

“Um, really well,” I admitted.

Dad got up from the sofa, kissing me on the cheek, and Max ruffled my hair affectionately. All three of them were…really fucking happy. It was slightly disconcerting, considering the dynamic.

“Good morning, Nathaniel,” Dad called out, and I glanced over my shoulder to see a sleepy, scowling Nate running a hand through messy hair. “Thanks for your help getting this one up to her room last night. My back isn’t what it used to be.”

I blinked my confusion. Did he mean me?

Nate just shrugged and made a vague motion toward the kitchen before disappearing once more.

“Um, I’m going to get some coffee,” I murmured, already retreating from the postcard scene in front of me. A heavy yawn rolled through me as I made my way into the kitchen, finding Nate already hovering over the coffee machine like it was his one true love. “You gonna share?”

He shot a sleepy glance my way, then shrugged. Apparently he was nonverbal pre-coffee. I sighed and plucked a piece of fruit off one of the enormous breakfast platters laid out on the counter. If I had to wait him out, I would.

A moment later, he deposited a mug of fresh, hot coffee in front of me.

I blinked at it, confused and wondering if he’d spat in it while he retrieved a bottle of gingerbread syrup and whipped cream and delivered those to me as well. All without a word.

“Thanks,” I murmured, unsure what his motivation was.

He shrugged again, turning his back on me as he made his own coffee. Weird, grumpy asshole. I sweetened my coffee the way I liked, then added way too much cream before returning to the living room.

Dad was quick to make me a spot beside him on the couch, and Max bellowed for Nate to join us for presents.

After a short pause, he emerged from the kitchen once more and took a seat as far from the rest of us as possible.

A frown dipped his brow as he eyed the adults in the room, squinting at them.

“Are you all wearing matching pajamas?” he asked with an edge of disdain.

I flicked my gaze back to my mom and dad, then to Max…and sure enough, they all wore different style variations of the same cheery Christmas fabric. Confused, I glanced down at myself and gave a short sigh of relief to see I was not partaking in the crazy.

“Don’t mind him,” Max said with a grin. “Nate’s never been a morning person. Here, Ash, this one is for you.” He tossed me a squishy parcel and I caught it one-handed so as to protect my coffee.

“Thanks,” I murmured. “Um, I didn’t really do much shopping this year…” I’d bought Mom and Max a couple of things weeks ago, but since everything that’d happened with Heath, I just hadn’t been able to force myself into shops with all the happy people and joyful music.

“We don’t need anything,” Mom said with a warm smile. “Having you both here is all we wanted.” She reached out for Max’s hand as she spoke, and he kissed her knuckles with love overflowing from his eyes.

Practically gagging on the sentimentality of the moment, I handed my coffee to Dad and cautiously opened the present in my lap. Then grimaced.

“Oh. Um. Thanks?” I unfolded the soft Christmas pajama shirt and held it up in stunned disbelief. They really had got us all matching jammies.

Nate made a coughing sound that could have easily been a stifled laugh, and I shot him a glare.

“Don’t worry, Son. We have one for you too,” Max laughed, tossing a present in his son’s direction. Nate caught it, then offered an almost painfully forced smile in return.

I smirked, enjoying the fact that I wasn’t being singled out. “Go on, Essex. Open it.”

Nate reluctantly did as he was told, forcing another pained smile as he revealed his own set of the gingerbread man jammies.

“Put them on!” Max enthused, smiling wide at the two of us.

I shook my head, suddenly feeling the overwhelming pressure to actually play happy family rather than simply observe it with confusion and disdain. “Um, I’m actually not feeling so great…”

Mom’s face instantly creased with concern, and a sharp stab of guilt lit my chest. “Oh, honey, are you still not feeling any better? Did you check for a fever?”

She reached out as if to check my temperature, and I slithered off the sofa and out of reach, practically choking on my own lies. “Yeah, um, I thought I was better but I guess not. I’m just going to step out for some fresh air, if that’s okay?”

I made it halfway out of the room before Mom made a confused protest.

“Ash—” she started.

“I’ll join you,” Nate announced, cutting Mom off and giving me the opportunity I needed to escape.

I didn’t actually expect him to join me; I assumed he was just using my exit as a convenient excuse to also dip out of the weird Hallmark scene they had going on under the huge tree, so I quickly grabbed a coat and stuffed my feet into a pair of boots.

Throwing open the back door, I inhaled the frosty air deeply, then stepped out onto the snow-covered lawn. My footsteps crunched and squeaked over the snow, and a small smile touched my lips.

“Wait up,” Nate called out, and I glanced over my shoulder. He’d just stepped out of the same door I’d used and was hopping on one foot as he tugged a boot onto the other. He’d tossed a coat on, but it was open and his T-shirt had more than a few holes in it. Hardly appropriate for the weather.

I shook my head and continued my crunching across the lawn. “Why?” I replied, unable to hold my tongue or my curiosity.

“I said I was coming with you?” His crunchy steps came quicker than mine, like he was hurrying to catch up.

I rolled my eyes skyward. “I’m aware. I didn’t think you—” I broke off with a frustrated huff. “Why are you following? You know full well I’m not sick.”

“Aren’t you?” he muttered, seemingly under his breath but when I jerked to a stop and glared daggers, he held up his hands in surrender. “Look. I just…don’t think you should be alone.”

My eyes narrowed. “Like you fucking care.”

His brows lifted. “I do. Don’t ask me why, I find you utterly infuriating and a stone-cold bitch for playing with my friends’ feelings, but for some cursed reason, I actually do care if something happens to you, Ashley.”

Bewildered, I just stared back at him for a moment.

Then a deep shiver snapped the tension and I shook my head.

“Bullshit. You just want to stay in Max’s good graces by acting the part of a compassionate big brother.

” Turning away, I hugged my arms around my body and stomped across the snow-covered lawn, farther away from the house and all the soul-crushing happiness inside.

I didn’t deserve to feel happy. Not after how badly I’d failed Heath.

“That statement couldn’t be further from the fucking truth,” Nate muttered quietly behind me, but I shook it off and continued my determined hike through the snow. After a few moments, he sighed. “Where are we going, Layne?”

“ We aren’t going anywhere. Fuck off.” I was being a grouchy shit again, but the farther I got from the house, and away from the snow globe of Christmas magic our parents were desperately trying to create, the worse I felt.

The guilt and regret were once more weighing me down and I just… wanted to be alone.

That wasn’t true.

I didn’t want to be alone—I wanted to be with Heath.

Nate didn’t say anything back, but he also didn’t go back to the damn house. Short of tossing him over my shoulder and carrying his snarky ass back, there wasn’t much I could do other than just ignore him.

So that was what I did all the way to the edge of the small lake at the back of Max’s property. It was frozen solid, but I wasn’t foolish enough to go wandering out onto the ice, so instead I dusted off the bench seat and sat my depressed ass down.

A moment later, Nate took the space beside me and the two of us sat there in dead silence for what felt like hours. It was probably only a few minutes, though, before cold sunk through my sweatpants and a little shiver set into my skin.

“So…” Nate broke the silence, seemingly totally comfortable despite the rips in his shirt literally exposing his skin to the frigid air. “Do you wanna build a snowman?”