Page 34

I wake up to an empty bed and panic takes over. Fuck. After we got back to the room, I was so worked up, I threw Cal onto the mattress, then fucked his tight hole until I filled him.

Wasn’t wild or crazy, but I buried myself inside him. Still remember the adoring look on his face, as if he finally felt whole. He got so needy, we even did it again.

Last thing I remember was him curling into me, and then I must’ve fallen asleep. Without putting the jougs back on.

Jumping out of bed, I quickly throw on cargo pants, socks, and a flannel shirt, then race to get my boots by the door.

“What lit a fire under your ass this morning?”

I spin around. Rex leans against the kitchen entryway, a mug in one hand.

“Cal—”

“Is out back with Devon.”

I straighten, lips pressed into a thin line, gaze concentrated on my friend. Not what I was expecting. But I’m not relieved either. That little psycho could go off at any moment. “If he hurts my—”

“Cal’s teaching him how to split wood for the fireplace.”

“Satan’s spawn has an ax?”

I stalk past Rex to the kitchen window that faces out back. Luckily, Cal’s the one with the ax while Devon watches.

“They’re fine.”

And he’s not lying because my little fawn’s . . . laughing. Like, genuinely laughing as he hands Devon the ax. And that little psycho is smiling too.

What fucking universe did I just wake up in?

Haven’t seen Cal laugh like that in years. Since his sister was alive. My chest tightens but not due to fear.

It’s something else. Something overwhelming that makes my eyes wet.

Rex groans, then coughs a little beside me, and I turn to find him staring out the window as well.

When I lift a brow, he huffs. “Haven’t seen Devon smile like that. Ever.”

“Liar.”

I clear my throat and shove him with my shoulder, grateful for the distraction. “That little psycho is obsessed with you. Has all heart eyes for you.”

“Eh, this is different. He genuinely seems happy right now.”

Rex puts his mug down on the counter. “He had a hard life. Don’t know if he ever had friends. Didn’t have siblings, that much I know. His father was a piece of shit.”

I look back out at the boys. Friends. Something so simple, but after most of the population died coming across people is rare, let alone finding someone friendly. I’m lucky to have had Rex and Colt through most of it.

And Cal had his sister for a while.

Seeing him with Devon . . . Shit, I almost forgot the world we live in now. The two look normal, like friends fucking around. But a new thought enters, eating away at my momentary happiness.

My fingers grip the corner of the counter, my knuckles turning white. “We’re old.”

“No shit.”

I shake my head. “No, I mean we are old. Way older than them. They’ll outlive us.”

“Your point?”

I turn to face Rex. “What happens to them when we die? They’re going to be alone again. Going to have to survive by themselves.”

The corner of Rex’s eye ticks right before he tenses. “Thanks for shitting on my mood.”

Looking back out the window, I let out a deep sigh. “Visit more. Let them bond. Maybe . . . if something happens to us . . . they can have each other.”

“This about them—or you?”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Rex lifts his mug and takes a swig of whatever’s in there. “You’re guilting me into coming by more often.”

“Didn’t think of it that way, but fuck it. Sure. Yeah.”

When he starts coughing again I lean into him. “You getting better or worse?”

“Better. Was bad there for a while. Thought I wouldn’t make it.”

He stares off. “You’re right though. About those two bonding.”

“Damn, love when you say those magic words.”

“Asshat.”

“Gotta ruin it, fuckface.”

Rex places his mug in the sink, then leans against the counter, crossing his arms and pinning me with a stare. “Why you holding back with Cal?”

My spine straightens.

“Don’t gimme that shit. And, speaking of, hope you two enjoyed the show. You both weren’t exactly stealthy.”

I rub the back of my neck, heat crawling up my cheeks. “He wanted to watch. We got carried away.”

“I noticed. Devon did too. Or he noticed Cal at first. Had to really lay into him with the paddle to keep him from spiraling.”

My fingers clench and flex a few times. “And you think Cal will be safe when he spirals?”

“He’s possessive. But I don’t think his issue is with Cal. Otherwise, we would’ve been out back with a bloodbath on our hands by now.”

“So his issue is with me?”

Rex nods.

“Why the fuck did you tell him anything?”

His shoulders slump. “Didn’t mean to. Told you, I was sick. High fever and shit. Took Ambien and expired Nyquil. Supposedly had some sex dream about fucking you. Talked about it in my sleep.”

I rub my temples. “Jesus, fuck. Well, that explains it a bit better. Surprised he didn’t murder you himself.”

Rex shrugs. “Guess the seizure snapped him out of that. Wasn’t thinking straight about mixing meds.”

“What happened to him?”

My friend pales, his eyes becoming glassy. “Carrionites were in town. He felt, instead of hiding, he needed to protect me. Went after them.”

I look back out the window. Devon is thinner than Cal, a bit shorter too, not by much, but I can’t see that kid going after Carrionites by himself.

“He killed them but got hurt in the process. Real bad.”

Tears streak Rex’s face. “Thought I might lose him. That concussion. He couldn’t fucking walk straight. Was vomiting. Wouldn’t be surprised if he had a brain bleed.”

“Sorry about tossing him into the wall.”

And I am. Shit. That kid took on those cannibal motherfuckers and slaughtered them. I’m impressed, but fuck do I feel guilty now. “He’ll keep Cal safe?”

“Yeah. Don’t underestimate him. He really is a little psychopath. My little psychopath.”

I chuckle. “Fuck, if the world went back to normal, you sound as if you’d be marching his ass down the aisle.”

Rex’s face lights up for the first time since he got here. “Bet you would follow with Cal.”

I shake my head. “We’re . . . not there. He’s mine and shit. But it’s—”

“Cal loves you. I can see it plain as day. So, again, why are you holding back?”

“He ran away. From me. Like you and Colt.”

“Fuck off. You know we didn’t run away. You stayed and we respected your decision. It just wasn’t what either of us wanted.”

“You seen him at all?”

“Not in over two years.”

“Me neither.”

With a sigh, I recount the night Cal and I fucked and he ran, spilling all my feelings to Rex, including how I trashed the house and ran my fist through the wall.

“Seen that shit happen before. Called sub drop.”

Rex takes a moment as if choosing his words carefully. “You did push too hard, more so that you kept him deep into it too long.”

Rex’s confirmation I fucked up is like a kick in the gut, and I have no idea what to say next.

“From what I noticed, Cal likes to lead. So let him.”

I eye my friend, head tilting slightly. Let Cal lead? I mean, sure he asks for more, begs a bit. Okay, he can be pushy too.

But lead?

“You were always the bottom when the three of us used to play, mostly because Colt and I couldn’t bottom at the time.”

My mouth falls agape. “At the time? You and Colt . . .”

Rex shakes his head and looks out the window at Devon.

“Well, fuck me sideways. Satan’s spawn took your ass virginity?”

“You fucking serious?”

I shrug. “What do you call it? Can’t call you a virgin—just your ass was.”

Rex rolls his eyes but laughs nevertheless. “Just saying, regardless of the position, you never seemed comfortable calling the shots. So, let Cal lead from the bottom. And I’ll talk to him. Explain what happened.”

Can’t deny the little twitch my hardening cock gives at the idea of Cal taking control.

My little fawn did lead me last night, made me stay in the shadows with him, and controlled how hard I jerked his cock. Even told me what he wanted me to do to his balls.

Maybe Rex is right. Can’t hurt to try. Not if it will fix things.

Because there’s nothing I won’t do for Cal.