Page 50 of Warrior's Cross

Cameron’s chest ached with more feeling than pain, but he couldn’t name it. He turned his free hand to press his palm to Julian’s cheek. “I’m okay,” he said softly.

Julian looked down and nodded jerkily.

Cameron gazed at him, stroking his cheek. He was content just having Julian there. “I feel better already.”

“We need to talk,” Julian told him abruptly.

Cameron’s body grew cold with dread, but he licked his parched lips and nodded. “Okay.”

“I was afraid... I feared you’d been hurt because of me,” Julian told him, his words measured.

Cameron frowned, not trying to hide his confusion. “What do you mean ‘because of you’?”

Julian broke the eye contact again with a sigh.

Cameron frowned. “Julian?” he prodded.

“What do you think I do, Cameron?” Julian asked, not looking up.

Letting his head turn to the side against the pillows, Cameron thought about it. “I guess a detective of some sort. I don’t know. Some investigative kind of job.” He shrugged. “At one time I thought you might be a male escort,” he added with a soft laugh.

Julian looked up quickly in surprise. “A what?” His voice edged up into a near squeak.

“Just that one night, when the woman came into the restaurant and made the joke about being a prostitute,” Cameron admitted, trying not to smile at Julian’s reaction. “I didn’t know anything about you, and some of the things you said...” He flushed and shook his head. “I didn’t seriously think that,” he said as he backpedaled.

Julian blinked at him, mulling that over. “That’d make a pretty good cover,” he muttered to himself finally.

Cameron stifled a laugh, and it came out as a snort. “You could certainly pull it off,” he said.

“Shut up,” Julian said with a soft laugh.

Smiling, Cameron reached out and slid his fingers along Julian’s cheek. “Who could resist you?”

Julian pursed his lips and lowered his head so Cameron wouldn’t have to shift to touch him. “I deal with some dangerous people,” he said as his eyes darted to the door of the hospital room. “I was afraid someone had found out about you.”

Cameron watched Julian’s face, something he’d taken to doing to try to learn to read the other man, who wasn’t exactlyforthcoming with information, much less many emotions. Hearing him say something so specific was unnerving. “Which would put me in danger?” he asked awkwardly. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

“Yes,” Julian whispered without looking up.

Cameron could tell Julian was serious. Very much so. He forced himself to swallow and flinched when it hurt. “What kind of danger?”

“Are there different kinds?” Julian asked.

Cameron tensed. “I suppose there’s getting-hurt danger, and then there’s the end-up-dead kind of danger,” he said shakily.

Julian was silent, his head still lowered as if he was afraid to look up.

Cameron drew his hand back, watching it tremble. “Is this... this fear, is it what you deal with every day?” It hurt. It scared him to think that Julian might live in fear day in and day out.

“Every day but Friday,” Julian answered without pause.

Cameron pressed his lips together, at this point hurting and more afraid for his lover than for himself. “Julian, please look at me.”

Julian winced and looked up slowly, meeting Cameron’s eyes regretfully.

Cameron had a difficult time understanding the conflict in those black eyes. He’d never seen the emotion there before. But then, he’d never seen Julian afraid before. “Is it worth it? Spending time with me?”

Julian winced again and shook his head disbelievingly. “You’re asking me if spending time with you is worth you getting hurt?” he asked.