Page 25 of Wanting What’s Wrong

Twenty-One

Kat

T rent takes the steps two at a time and I run upstairs behind him. Even in my terror, even in my worry, I can’t help but feel a deep flutter of desire shimmer through me as I watch him stride away with such purpose. Such power.

But I can’t let this happen. I can’t put him in danger, too. I’d rather die myself than put him in the middle of this. “Wait a minute. Stop this. Don’t you dare do anything stupid. Not for me.”

He raises his hand, stilling me instantly. “There’s not a fucking thing you can say right now that is going to change my mind, Kat. So save your fucking breath, alright?”

I scurry down the hall and get in front of him, placing my hands on his chest. “Stop it. Just stop it. Talk to me, will you?”

He shakes his head, and grips me hard behind my neck, guiding me back into the bedroom and slamming the master suite door behind us. “Don’t you fucking get it yet, Kat?” His voice is thick and dark. Heavy and dangerous. The power of his grip starts to short-circuit my mind.

“Get what? ” I gasp.

“You. Me. Fucking this .” He yanks me up against him, pulling me close.

But I do get it. I get it in my soul. In my very being. The shackles he had on my heart as a girl are nothing compared to the vice grip around my heart now.

Tears sting my eyes and blur my vision. “I can’t let anything happen to you, Trent. I can’t. If I don’t have you, I don’t have anything.” My voice is shaking with emotion, but I don’t even try to stop it now.

He slides his hand up the back of my neck, softer now, drawing my forehead in close to his. “I fucking love you, Kat. Not ‘you’re my little sister’ love. Not ‘you’re my family’ love. None of that. I love you. I worship you. You’re my fucking purpose.”

Tears spill down my cheeks as I hold him tight, keep him close. My brother, my lover, my everything. “I love you, too. With all my heart.”

“I have to love you, you hear me? This love for you, it doesn’t let me sleep. It doesn’t let me breathe. But I can’t fucking live without it.” He takes a deep breath, his chest filling out the gray t-shirt with the word SEAL in faded navy ink. “Do you get that?”

“Yes,” I say, just a whisper. “I always have.”

“Sometimes I wish it didn’t exist. Sometimes I can’t imagine life without it. But you’re it for me. And you have been for all my life”

His words hit me like a crashing tidal wave. To have him say it, to hear it in his voice without hesitation, it’s as real as the breath filling my lungs.

He releases his grip on the back of my neck and pulls me down on his lap, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I need to know, right fucking now, if you are in this as deep as me.”

I wrap my arms around him, inhaling his warmth, his musky familiar scent. “You know I am.”

He growls at me, like he isn’t finished. “I’ve danced around this for years. But being home, finally touching you, finally being inside you. I can’t fucking undo this. And if you aren’t ready, then I’ll accept that. No regrets. But if you’re in, I need to hear you say it.”

My heart tumbles in my chest, like a runaway train. Everything has come down to this moment.

About him, I am sure. Sure as anything I’ve ever known. But I also know that this thing between us, it may be simple. But it’s also the ultimate taboo. “What will we tell people?”

“I don’t give a single fuck about anybody else.”

My gasp comes out as a laugh. “I know you don’t.” I sniffle away my tears and lower my head against his shoulder. “I know.”

He rubs my back gently, tracing my every curve and valley. “I’m lost in you like I’ve never been lost in anything before. And I can’t take another breath without knowing, without total fucking certainty, that you are in as deep as me.”

Deep as the deepest ocean. There is no love deeper than this. “I am, Trent. I am.”

His body softens, ever so slightly, and his embrace becomes warmer and more protective. Heat radiates from his body into mine, pulling me into him like a powerful force field.

He tips me back slightly so I’m able to look him in the eye. I watch the pulse in his neck pound as he shifts slightly, placing his thumb on my chin and staring deep into my eyes.

“I’ll always love you. I’ll always be here. But what happens next depends on you.”

Looking into his eyes, I see the face of that handsome teenager he used to be, leaning in through my doorway. The face that was always there when I needed it most. To defend me. To love me. To protect me.

How many women in the world have a love like this? This history. This loyalty. This quiver in their belly?

“I’m here. I love you. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. As long as you’ve loved me, I’ve loved you. That will never, ever change.”

He nods, grim but pleased. “Good. So now listen. And listen close.” His fingers slide down the small of my back and he grips my hips and ass with his huge hands.

“I need you to stay right here. In this room. Until I get back. No fucking bullshit. No grocery store runs. Luke and Edward are going to stay and keep you safe, but I gotta go out for a while. While I’m gone, you don’t fucking leave this room.

You stay away from the windows, you don’t even so much as think about going outside. ”

A deep pulse of terror rips through my stomach, through my heart. “Okay.”

“Good. Because I need you to realize that your life—that my life—depends on your being safe for the next little while.”

I look into his eyes, seeing that dangerous fire again. “I know.”

“For me to do what needs to be done, I need to know that you are completely safe.”

I nod, pushing my trembling lips together to keep the tears at bay. But it’s no use. I am a mess of tears and sobs. This isn’t about punishing a schoolyard bully; this is about life. And death. “That’s why I didn’t tell you before. When you were away.”

“Stop that. Stop it. Shhh. I know,” he says, calmly and firmly. Not angry now. Just pure Trent. “I fucking get it. But now I’m home. And now you’ve told me. You did great, baby girl.”

Did I? All those terrified nights. All those secrets. All those Skype calls when I told him I was fine, everything was fine, when it was just the opposite. I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive myself for keeping so many secrets from him for so long .

“Did I?”

The look in his eyes, it’s both pride and lust. “You did perfectly. But now it’s time to let Daddy do his job. Because there is no universe in which someone threatens you and lives, we clear?”

My belly tightens and my heart pounds. “I know,” I whisper through a sob. “I’ve always known.”