Page 17 of Wanted by the Alien Warden (Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides #4)

17

TASHA

W arden Tenn and I got ready for the day and ate in relative silence. I wasn’t sure if he was simply responding to my lack of conversation, or if he had his own stuff on his mind. Whatever it was, we were both quiet as we prepared to head out for our day of travel on the slicer.

Well, outwardly quiet, anyway.

Inside? I was a screaming, hysterical mess.

Thank God Warden Tenn hadn’t woken up before I’d left the tent. Jesus Christ, I’d practically climbed the man in my sleep! I was using his palm as a cushion! My very own purple, personal travel pillow!

I’d basically sexually harassed the man in my sleep. And to top it all off, before I’d woken fully and realized what was happening, I’d liked it. In that dreamy state of near-wakefulness, I’d relished the warmth of his body against mine. I’d felt safe and cozy and happy.

And horny. Terribly, terribly horny.

I was a horrible person. It was a good thing I didn’t believe in hell. If I did, I’d be depressingly certain I was headed there.

But no, now I was just depressed in a much more general sense.

Lucky me.

On the slicer, we made what I assumed had to be good headway, considering our impressive speed. The dry, dusty landscape grew more and more dotted with trees, until we were traveling alongside thick forest. I tried to focus on the changing land, the alien beauty of it all, but it became harder and harder to ignore the press of Warden Tenn’s belt hook against my belly. I began shifting on the seat, as well as I could at these speeds, anyway.

Not only did it not help, but Warden Tenn noticed.

Abruptly, the slicer slowed, then lowered to the ground. He twisted around to give me a hard look from beneath the brim of his hat.

“Do you need to urinate?”

“What?” I cried, rearing back at the intimacy of the question. “No!”

“Then why the blazes do you keep wiggling so much? You’re throwing the slicer’s balance off.”

“Oh! Sorry. I didn’t even know I could do that.”

“What is it?” He dismounted and stood beside the slicer so that he could stare me down without cranking his neck. “Something’s bothering you.”

“It’s…” The words clogged up my throat. I’d never been good at this. Never been good at expressing my pain, or asking for things. It never got me anywhere in foster care, or in the factory, or with Gerald. And here? Now? In front of this unfairly hot alien warden, I was supposed to tell him that his belt was poking my stomach roll too hard?

Fucking mortifying.

But…

This wasn’t foster care. This wasn’t the factory. And this sure as hell wasn’t Gerald.

This was Warden Tenn. With those warm orange eyes, so intense on me, rimmed not with impatience, but with concern.

“It’s your belt hook,” I cried before I could chicken out. “It’s…” I gestured at my stomach. “It’s poking me. Really hard.”

He went very, very still. His eyes blazed bright white.

“Are you injured?” He sounded like someone had their fist wrapped ’round his throat.

“No, nothing like that! I don’t think it’ll even leave a bruise.”

He flinched at that word. Bruise . Like I’d jumped off the slicer and slapped him right across the face.

Then, his hands were flying. His fingers wrenched apart the buckle, and he yanked his belt from his hips like he was trying to punish it.

Oh, lordy. He was mad. His hard jaw worked. His eyes were still that mystifying white that seemed to accompany bouts of surprise or negative emotion.

Was he angry with me?

“What… What is it?” I asked as he slammed open the storage compartment on the slicer and threw the belt in like he never wanted to see it again. When he closed the compartment, he took a moment to stare blankly down at the lid.

Then, his white eyes seared a laser-like line up to mine.

“Next time something’s hurting you,” he said on a guttural growl, “you don’t go wiggling around, ignoring it, or trying to solve it yourself. You tell me. You tell me right away .” He released the closed lid and came around the side of the slicer. His calloused fingers found my chin. My entire body spasmed at the firm yet tender touch.

“I don’t care what’s causing it. I don’t care if it’s me. You tell me.” A raw, raging emotion tore through that white gaze. “ Especially if it’s me. You tell me, Tasha.”

I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. If I so much as opened my mouth right now, I was certain a sob would come spewing out.

No other man had ever cared about my hurts this way.

Not one.

And here Warden Tenn was, looking like he wanted to fling himself off a cliff, just because a part of his uniform had been poking me.

What the hell is this?

“You understand me, Tasha?”

Why did it sound like he was begging?

“Forget the bride program. Forget liaising. Consider that your number one job if you have to.”

“My number one job?’ I managed to croak.

“Yes,” he replied forcefully, his fingers contracting against my jaw and throat. “When you’re hurting, you tell your warden. That’s your most important duty. That’s your job.”

He lowered his face so that I felt his next words against my mouth more than heard them.

“Fixing it is mine.”

Wordlessly, I nodded. It took all my control not to nuzzle into the touch of his hand at the side of my face. Thankfully – or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it – he removed his hand immediately afterwards and returned to his seat ahead of me on the slicer.

“Without that hook,” he said, “I’ll need somewhere to put my tail.”

Before I could respond, the strong, prehensile length of purple flesh looped itself around my waist, tightening pleasantly. His tail gave a small tug, and I leaned forward against his back, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“Is that better?” he asked, the question vibrating through his back and into my chest. “Is this alright?”

I should say, “No.” I should put more space between us. I should forget the way he just spoke to me, looked at me, half commanded me and half begged me to tell him about my pain.

I didn’t do any of those things.

“Yes,” I said.

That evening, we parked, ate, and found a creek to clean up and hand wash some laundry. While I hung up my clothes to dry, Warden Tenn dutifully boiled drinking water for my waterskin. Apparently, he had no trouble drinking water out here straight from whatever source it came from. But after his whole, “tell me your hurts and I’ll fix them” thing this morning, I figured giving myself a waterborne illness or alien parasite was probably not going to go over well. I didn’t have a cannister to sterilize my water, so we had to go old school to protect my flimsy human constitution.

I would have liked to linger at a fire for a while before bed – anything to delay the awkwardness of getting in the tent with him again – but Warden Tenn put it out as soon as my water had boiled enough in his travel pot.

“It’s too dry out here,” he explained. “We’ve already had one bad fire this season. Nearly destroyed Garrek’s whole ranch.”

“Alright,” I said, blowing on the hot pot of water to help it cool. Once it was more warm than scalding, I carefully poured it into my half-empty waterskin. “I guess I’ll just go to bed then.”

“Good idea.” He made no move to join me. For some stupid reason, that stung. I tipped my waterskin at him in a goofy sort of salute meant to hide my feelings of rejection, then hurried into the tent.

Inside, the bedroll was open and ready for me. It was surprisingly comfortable. I put down my waterskin, took off my boots, and snuggled down.

It smelled like Warden Tenn. A spicy, leathery concoction that had no right to be as pleasant as it was. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, willing sleep to come.

It didn’t. Which was crazy, considering I was exhausted from the day’s travels.

I blew a raspberry through tight lips and rolled onto my back, staring at the tent’s dark ceiling.

Why was he still out there? He was the one who’d insisted we share the tent!

This was not going to work. Absurdly, almost scarily, it seemed like I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep without him at this rate.

Kicking off the bedding, I crawled to the tent’s entrance and poked my head out.

Warden Tenn was seated on the ground with his bare back to the tent. He was positioned as if he was watching the fire, even though he’d long since put it out.

He must have heard the rustle of the leather. Or maybe those big, cute Zabrian ears picked up my breathing. Because I saw them twitch.

“Um, excuse me?” I hesitated, then, feeling as exposed as if I’d stripped naked outside the tent, I added, “Tenn?”

Just Tenn. No warden tacked on the front.

The moons and stars gave me more than enough light to see every muscle in his back draw tight at the sound of his name.

He rose and turned.

“Yes, Tasha?”

“I…”

Oh, Christ. What was I supposed to say now?

Excuse me, good sir, but I apparently cannot get comfy and fall asleep while you’re out there pulling this weird alien emo act and staring at the ashes of the fire you just put out?

“Yes?” he prodded.

“I just… You told me to tell you if… If…”

“You’re hurt? What’s wrong?”

How the hell did he do that? Close such considerable distance with what seemed to be no effort at all? In the span of a second, he was before me, his gaze white and searching.

“Does loneliness count?”

Holy Terra. I was such an idiot. This was legitimately embarrassing. He was probably going to laugh at me. Or turn that fine purple ass right around and-

“It counts, Tasha.” Hoarsely, he repeated the words. “It counts.”

I didn’t have to ask him to come in. I merely held open the flap of the tent.

And he came.

I scooted backwards into the bedroll, fighting a wave of giddiness that he was here with me.

At this point, I figured I was possibly the stupidest human who’d ever lived. To get so excited about the fact that Tenn had done something as simple as come into the tent with me.

But, damnit, I was happy.

I lay down, and Tenn lay down, too, taking the same position he had last night – on his back with his hands behind his head.

I tried to relax beside him, but now I was faced with a whole new problem. Before, I couldn’t sleep because he wasn’t here.

Now, I couldn’t sleep because he was.

“Should we talk?” I whispered. “I could ask you some questions for the book I need to write on Zabrian males. You did promise to help me, after all.”

He gave a soft rasp of a laugh.

“I promised no such thing. You decided that all on your own.”

I grinned. My blood felt oddly fizzy in my veins, like Terratribe II sparkling wine.

“Yes, well. You’re here, aren’t you?”

“I’m here.”

My breath caught. Those two simple words had speared me in the strangest way. Tenn’s eyes cast a white glow along the walls and ceiling of the tent.

“Alright. First thing I want to know. What the heck is going on with the white eyes? Why do they change colour?”

“That is… a representation of intensity.”

“Intensity?” I rolled onto my side to face him. Then, I raised my hand above his face. His eyes sent my hand’s shadow stretching across the tent.

“Intensity of feeling. And I’ll have you know, I had my eyes under very good control before you came along.”

“Is that an accusation?” I asked, wiggling my fingers and watching the shadows dance across the leather.

“Merely a statement of fact.”

“Hmm.” I let my hand drop. I almost let it fall directly on his chest, but at the last second drew it against my own body. “So you didn’t experience this sort of intensity before I got here?”

“No. I did not.”

Well that was… Interesting? I wasn’t sure I really had much more info than before.

“You can ask me something, if you want,” I said. “If there are any human customs you’re curious about. Or if there’s anything in the book you’re unsure about, now that you’re reading it.”

“There is one thing,” he said after a taut silence, “that I am curious about.”

“Oh?”

“It is not something I have questions about. I’m rather more curious about experiencing it.”

“What is it?” I asked, propping my head up on my elbow to better see his face. His eyes seemed to grow brighter as they turned my way.

“The human kiss thing.”

I just about fell off my own fucking elbow.

“You… You want to try kissing someone?”

“No. I don’t want to try the kiss thing with someone,” he said instantly. “I only want to try it with you.”

“O-Oh.”

Was it hot in here? And had the tent always been this freaking small? It seemed like every bit of space was filled with Tenn. His body, his presence, the intensity of those white eyes as they never left my face.

I had to say no. Right? For all my squawking about appropriate boundaries and agonizing over how close I’d gotten to him in my sleep last night. Oh, God, what if I’d be, like, corrupting him with my kiss? Zabrians didn’t seem to have any sort of kissing custom. It’d be like I was adulterating him with my perverted human lips.

But he wasn’t a child. He was likely even older than me – at least, I got that impression. And he’d been with a woman before, at least someone he’d been in a relationship with, if not in love with. What was one measly human kiss compared to that?

It would be fine.

Probably…

I mean, he’d asked for it! I was helping him out! He’d said he was curious. That was it. This was probably like a sterile science experiment to him. An interesting little slice of human experience he could file away in that big purple head of his.

“Tasha?”

“Alright. Deal.”

“Deal? I was not aware we’d made a deal.”

“Well, we did. So, pucker up, buddy.”

Lit by the light of his own eyes, his face took on a bemused expression. But that expression quickly darkened into something much more terrifyingly like hunger as I brought my face to his.

It would just be a chaste little kiss. That’s what I’d planned, anyway.

But what I hadn’t planned for?

The absolute explosion of sensation that rocked me when my lips touched Tenn’s. Every nerve came to painfully bristling life. One brush of my mouth on his, and my nipples were hardening, my skin tingling everywhere.

“Oh!”

Tenn swallowed my gasp, his mouth surging, hot and open, to meet with mine.

“Where do I put my hands?” he panted against my mouth a few seconds later.

“Where… Wherever you want,” I whispered shakily.

“Don’t tell me that,” he groaned. “You might not like the places I’d put them.”

What places? What places?!

The question screamed through my head as Tenn crashed his lips to mine once more. I held back a shameful moan, opening my mouth to the claiming onslaught of his tongue.

Fuck me. How was he already so good at this? He’d never kissed someone before, and here he was, making me shiver and clench my thighs together like he’d been doing this all his damn life. Was this a Zabrian thing, to conquer so completely whatever it was you put your mind – or mouth – to?

Or was this simply something unique to Tenn?

I didn’t have an answer, and I gave up on trying to find one. Instead, I simply submitted completely to the rough, ravenous glide of his mouth. He finally decided where to put his hands, settling the firm heat of them on my waist.

This time, I couldn’t hold back my moan. My tongue slid against Tenn’s, and my back arched towards him without me telling it to. I wanted his hands to slide up. To cup my breasts. Run those calloused palms across the sensitive peaks of my nipples.

This was bad. Really, really bad. Poor Tenn had asked me to try out a kiss to satisfy his alien curiosity, and now my horny human ass was about two seconds away from ripping off the beautiful satin shirt he’d made me and sticking my bare tits in his face.

I couldn’t bear the confusion that would cross his expression if I did that. Cringing, I remembered when he’d measured my chest back at Fallon’s. He’d thought my boobs were my lungs. How the hell would he react if I started dangling the odd, floppy bits of flesh he’d thought were literally internal organs in front of him?

The humiliation of that thought alone was enough for me to break free of the fever of his kiss. I drew away from him and sucked in oxygen like I’d been drowning. Maybe, in a way, I had been.

“Well. Um. There you go!” I said with false cheer. I patted Tenn’s firm chest. It heaved beneath my hand. His eyes were so bright I couldn’t even look him in the face.

“That’s it?”

“What do you mean, ‘that’s it?’”

That was probably the best fucking kiss I’d ever had, and here he was with the nerve to ask a question like that?

Then again, this was Warden Tenn we were talking about, here. The man practically seemed to be made of nerve.

“That’s it,” I said, smiling so hard and so fake that it hurt. “That was a human kiss.”

More like a full-blown human make-out session…

“I… I see. Very illuminating.”

If anything was illuminating, it was those big white lightbulb eyes Tenn was giving me. He pulled one hand from my waist, scrubbing it roughly down his face, blocking out the light for a few seconds.

“What did you think?” I hated myself for asking the question. Hated the insecurity in it. Hated that I wanted him to say something to make me feel better about all this.

“Don’t know,” he rasped. “Let’s try again so I can have a more informed opinion.”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” I said after a moment’s indecision. And it was not a short moment, either. Because I was a weak, weak woman.

But I had to hold firm. If I tried kissing him again, I really would stand to make a complete and utter fool of myself. Even now, my clit was throbbing needily.

Kissing him again would just be torture at this point.

Even if not kissing him, rather frighteningly, also felt like torture.

“So, what now? We just go to sleep?” He sounded incredulous.

“I guess so. We do have a long day of travel ahead tomorrow.”

Tenn flopped onto his back.

“You’re right,” he said. “You need your rest.”

“So do you!” I said. He was the one doing most of the work out here. I was basically just along for the ride.

“Rest is just about the last thing on my mind,” he said. “Besides, I told you about Zabrian stamina.”

Oh, no. He should not be using the word stamina around me right now. It was sending my mind in all kinds of pervy directions.

But all pervy-ness ceased when Tenn suddenly said, in a harshly bitter voice, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For the hook. On my belt. I wish you’d told me sooner.”

“Oh, Tenn. No. Seriously, it’s fine. Here, look.” I hoisted up my shirt a few inches, baring my belly. “No bruise. See? Just like I told you.”

There was a red mark, but it had already mostly faded throughout the afternoon. Even so, he homed in on that mark instantly, his eyes providing enough light to guide his knuckles to the spot.

“It doesn’t hurt,” I whispered.

Tenn let out a sigh between his fangs, gently tugged my shirt back down, and muttered, “Good.”

That was what I fell asleep to mere moments later.

The echo of Tenn’s gruff voice in my head.

Good.