Page 55 of Want Me

“All of you can suck my dick,” I grumbled.

“I can only imagine what it looks like, considering your face.” Eric, that asswipe, fluttered his lashes at me and gave me a sweet smile, except he didn’t do sweet very well and it ended up looking more like a leer. Which was of course enough to make my dick perk up and answer the morning roll call.

“Open up and you can find out.” I slid from the counter and rinsed my bowl, leaving it in the sink.

My phone started buzzing before I even got off the front porch, and my lips pulled up in a preemptive smile.

Eric:Think you’re clever don’t you

Nate:Think I’m hard. Got my own damn self worked up. Sucks walking with a boner.

Eric:So get your ass back here. 5 minutes tops, but I’ll bet I have you shooting in 3.

I clenched my phone harder in my hand and gritted my teeth.

Nate:Nope, can’t miss this class. Prof locks the door one minute after the hour.

Eric:Chaffin or Anderson?

Nate:Chaffin. Heard West does it too.

Eric:They don’t know what they’re missing. A lot of good things straggle in a little late

Nate:Or not at all.

A handful of seconds passed with nothing else from him, so I texted again.

Nate:I wanted to come in last night but I couldn’t. The guys stayed forever

Eric:Not a deal, I told you. Just messing with you.

Nate:Okay

I started to type something else, then erased it.

Eric:Nate

Eric:I’m not going anywhere.

Markand I shared my second class of the day, Comparative Politics, so after it let out, we headed toward the caf to grab lunch. Spotting Jesse at the coke machines, I waved him over and he joined us, plunking down a thick burrito and a Mountain Dew before launching immediately into a bitchfest about the course load his advisor had recommended for next semester. It was nice, kinda like old times when we’d all started hanging out freshman year after Jesse and Mark had finally started getting along. Because they didn’t at first, and I’d never really understood why not.

We played grievance roulette, which Jesse usually won, and Mark made sarcastic jabs between sandwich bites. And yeah, maybe he was a little more cutting than usual and still seemed to be giving me the side eye, like at any moment he expected me to break out a baggie of coke on the tabletop and snort a rail right there in the middle of the caf. But mostly everything was going just fine. I started to relax, thinking maybe things were going to work out fucking peachy after all. I was out to my parents, so was there really any need to rush things here when Eric and I could just get it on out of sight? I mean, I’d never been the kind of guy to go walking around with heart eyes and hanging all over someone anyway. The Defcon 3 boner threat being around the dude was token enough. And then, maybe over summer when school was out…

“So was it fun over Thanksgiving? With Eric I mean?”

I glanced up sharply to find Jesse scrutinizing me as he pried a glob of cheese from his foil wrapper with the corner of his thumbnail. I shrugged. “It was fine, yeah. Fun or whatever. He goes with the flow.”

“I didn’t think you were a big fan of him honestly, so it was a little surprising you just up and invited him home with you.” That was Mark and suddenly I felt like I was at a chick table in theMean Girlsmovie. Their combined expressions were like hawks circling a shadow moving across the grass, waiting for the right moment to dive. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

“I was neutral toward him before, I guess. And now we’re cool.” Now we’re cool? Jesus, was that the best I could say about a guy who turned me inside out? Fucking wimp. Guilt rolled around in my gut and formed a mass—not a happy pairing with the Italian sub I’d just finished. I tasted acid in the back of my throat and reached for my water bottle, taking a quick swig before capping it again.

Mark sat back in his chair, letting his legs sprawl wide as he folded his arms over his chest. “I guess if he’s your dealer, I understand.”

I smacked my hand on the tabletop. Louder than I meant to. The sudden crack stung through my palm and made Jesse jump, while a table full of girls nearby looked over. But Mark kept his gaze on me levelly as I spoke. “Do you have a problem with him? Or me hanging out with him?” I went overboard trying to keep the desire to growl at bay and my teeth unclenched.

“I don’t have a fucking problem with him, necessarily. I have a problem with my bro becoming a cokehead.”

My pulse amped up a few more notches, and I was sure the blood running through my veins was nearing steam point. I sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “I’m not a cokehead. I was…we…” I needed another breath since the last one had run out far too soon, so I took it, probably sounding like I was having a panic attack. “We’re together. Seeing each other.” Mark’s face went blank, and then he burst into laughter that died a quick death as I glared at him. “We weren’t doing coke in the office that night—we were screwing around, okay? And I really fucking like him.” I collapsed back in my chair and ground the heels of my hands into my eyes until bursts of color danced in the darkness, then let them fall away.