Page 9 of Wandering Wild

Zander, however, has a satisfied look on his face as he drops his arm and steps away, making me realize he was fully aware the whole time. The warm feeling in me intensifies, since instead of ignoring my discomfort or reminding me to act like an enamored fan, he did what he could to distract me. And it worked.

“I have everything I need from you two as a couple,” Ollie says, squinting at his camera screen and therefore missing my knee-jerk reaction to the word “couple.” Zander doesn’t miss it though, and chuckles softly under his breath. So does Ember—but not as softly.

“Sounds like my timing is perfect,” says Hawke as he strides into view. Bentley and Scarlett are with him, and they halt beside Ember and Gabe while Hawke joins us at the corrugated wall.

Ollie takes more photos, then finally waves Bentley over to film some short Q and As. I get asked everything from how excited I am about the adventure—“ Sooooo excited! I can’t believe I get to spend four days with Zander Rune !”—to what I’m going to miss most while I’m away from civilization—“Absolutely nothing , because I’ll be with Zander ! What more could I need ?”

My answers make Ember choke on confused laughter and Zander look at me with enough exasperation that I dial it back a notch for Ollie’s next question.

“It’s obvious that you’re a big fan of Zander’s,” he says, laughing, and I somehow manage to keep my fake smile in place, “but what about Hawke? Have you seen his show?”

I’m acutely aware of the camera recording my answer, but even so, I can’t stop my smile from slipping. “I have, actually. Not every episode, but a lot of them.” I hesitate a beat before sharing, “My mum was a huge fan of Hawke’s, so he’s been a staple in my home ever since the pilot of Hawke’s Wild World .”

“‘Was’?” Ollie repeats. “She’s not a fan anymore?”

My mouth is suddenly too dry for me to speak. Ollie doesn’t press and jumps straight onward, asking what food I’ll eat first after we get back, and continuing with a barrage of non-invasive getting-to-know-you questions.

“We likely won’t use them all,” he says as an aside, “but it’s better to have too much material than not enough.”

When Ollie is finished with me, he turns to Zander, and I listen as he answers similar questions, plus others about the competition and his inspiration for it. There’s no mention of his tarnished reputation, only his love for his fans, his true motives hidden behind gracious words and wholesome smiles.

I lied to his face last night when I said he’s not a good actor. He is. One of the best. On-screen and—clearly—off.

Once both of us are done, Ollie’s attention moves to Hawke, but he only asks a few things before saying he has all he needs.

“You two lovelies are going to shine like diamonds,” Ollie tells Zander and me. “I can’t wait to watch you over the next few days—this is going to be the best episode ever .”

With that, he blows air kisses and walks away, his thumbs moving at lightning speed over his phone keyboard.

“No matter how many times I have to do that,” Hawke says, his eyes on Ollie’s retreating back, “I will never, ever enjoy it.”

His weary sigh has me biting back a laugh and realizing he’s perhaps more of a kindred spirit than I thought.

“But at least now we can finally get to the good part,” he continues, causing my humor to die a fast death. “Zander, I hear you trained with Fredrik Haas when you were filming in Austria, is that right?”

For some unknown reason, Zander turns to me with a look that’s crossed between apprehension and anticipation, before he slowly answers, “I did.”

“Excellent,” Hawke says. “Come with me.” To the rest of us, he adds, “We’ll be back shortly. Charlie, time to say your goodbyes.”

I wish he’d tacked on a “for now” or similar, since it would help lessen the fear rising in me as Zander follows him back into the hangar. I waste precious seconds wondering what they’re up to before deciding to let it go, knowing the answers will come soon enough. Instead, I turn to Ember, seeing Gabe, Scarlett, and Bentley conversing a short distance away, giving us some privacy.

“So, you’re suddenly Zander’s biggest fan, huh?” Ember says, referencing my embarrassing promo clips, her lips quirking. “And here I thought I owned that title.”

I’m still reluctant to tell her about the bargain, so I just say, “We’ve agreed to get along for the sake of the cameras.”

She raises a dark brow. “Since he doesn’t have a problem with you, I assume you mean that you’ve agreed not to hiss at him like a stray cat while the whole world is watching?”

I pluck at my sleeve. “I prefer my wording.”

Ember grins. “I’m sure you do.” She then sobers and steps closer, her voice low. “You can still back out. It means so much to me that we’re here, but now that my excitement has faded, I feel really bad about putting you in this position, especially knowing?—”

“Hey, stop,” I say, placing my hand on her shoulder. “I’m a big girl and I made my own decision to come here.”

“You did it for me .”

“And I’d do it again,” I say firmly.

“Tell me that in four days when you’re miserable from chafing and bug bites and blisters,” Ember says, before woefully adding, “I’m a horrible friend!”

“Maybe,” I say, “but I still love you. And I’m not going anywhere. So give me a hug and tell me something encouraging so I don’t throw up from nerves the moment Hawke and Zander return.”

Ember doesn’t delay in flinging her arms around me. “I love you, Charlie Bear. To the sun and moon and back again until forever.”

My throat closes at the phrase we’ve shared a million times since we were kids, and I realize it’s all the encouragement I need.

But Ember isn’t done, since she whispers in my ear, “You’re the best person I’ve ever known, and you’re stronger than you think. The last few months have been...” She can’t find an adequate word, so she settles on, “really, really awful, but you’ve made it this far, which means you can make it through the next four days, easy. Just try to remember that this trip isn’t only about survival. Because life isn’t about survival—life is beautiful, and it’s meant to be lived .” She swallows, then tentatively says, “Your mum would be so happy you’re here, and if she were standing with us now, she’d tell you to enjoy every second.”

I feel my eyes misting, but then Ember’s voice lightens as she finishes, “Or she would, but only after she took three thousand photos with Hawke and begged him to leave Bentley and run away with her.”

A surprised chuckle leaves me, the sound pained but genuine. “Try four thousand. Or more.”

Ember pulls back, a soft smile on her face. “You’re right. Definitely more.” She takes my hands in hers. “You sure you’re ready for this?”

I inhale deeply and nod. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“And you’re feeling brave? Courageous? Daring?”

Warily, I ask, “Why are you using synonyms?”

She bites her lip and looks into the distance. “You know how I’ve always had a heightened sense of hearing?”

Her tone has enough warning in it that I follow her gaze, vaguely noting Scarlett, Gabe, and Bentley moving our way, the latter holding a camera pointed at me. “Yeah?”

“Well, I think I know how your trip is going to start,” she says. “And you’re going to need all the fearless synonyms you can get.”

Within seconds, I hear it: the whup-whup-whup sound of rotating blades cutting through the air.

My insides churn as the helicopter comes into view, the noise growing uncomfortably louder as it approaches. But that’s not the only reason for my twisting stomach, because Zander and Hawke have reappeared from within the hangar, both wearing harnesses and backpacks that I instinctively know aren’t carrying our spare clothes and essential items.

The helicopter lands just as Hawke and Zander reach our group, the engine powering down and leaving me able to hear my own thoughts again. I’m unsure if that’s a good thing, given my growing state of dread.

“As you can see, our ride is here,” Hawke tells me with a grin, holding out a spare harness. “You’re going to need this.”

I take it from him automatically, watching as he passes a second harness to Bentley, who steps into it while keeping a steady grip on the camera he’s using to film us.

Hawke helps me do the same, adjusting the straps until they’re snug against my body.

“No questions?” he asks as he tugs and tightens everything. “You’re not wondering why you’re wearing this?”

“I’m actually freaking out enough that I figure it’s best to keep my mouth shut so I don’t vomit all over you.”

Hawke throws back his head and laughs, his teeth bright against his dark skin. “We’re going to have a great time over the next few days, Charlie. I can tell.”

For obvious reasons, I don’t believe him. “Your version of a great time is likely very different to mine.”

He’s still chuckling as he steps away and says, “You’re all set.” He then calls Zander over, and tells us both, “The starting point of our hike is too deep in the mountains for us to get there easily on foot, so we’re flying in.” A devious look accompanies his next words. “And by flying, I mean falling.” He turns to me. “Charlie, keep thinking non-vomiting thoughts, or you won’t be Zander’s favorite person, since you’re jumping tandem with him.”

My mind short-circuits. “I’m what ?”

“He’s fully accredited,” Hawke assures me. “Fredrik Haas is one of the most experienced instructors in the world, and he trained Zander personally. You couldn’t be in better hands.”

I’m too horrified to form a solid argument, so I just splutter, “Why can’t I go with you?” If I have to plummet to the earth like a dead weight, I’d feel much safer doing it with Hawke at my back.

Bentley raises his free hand. “I’m afraid that’s my fault,” he says sheepishly. “I have a slight skydiving phobia, so Rykon and I have a long-standing agreement that the only way I’ll ever do it is when I’m strapped to him. That way, if we perish, at least we’ll be together.”

“That’s so romantic,” Ember coos from my side. But I barely hear her.

“Oh my God ,” I breathe, my eyes wide. “I’m going to die. This is it. This is my end.”

“You’re not going to die, Charlie,” Zander says, fighting a grin. “I’ve done this plenty of times. All those dragon battle scenes in the movies? Every time I fell through the air? That wasn’t CGI. We had to do what felt like a million takes for some of those shots, and each one required me jumping out of a plane or helicopter.” He lessens the distance between us, his voice quieting. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

It’s the earnest look on his face that stops me from accepting Ember’s offer to run while I still can. But even so, I ask him, “How much do you value your life?”

He blinks. “Pardon?”

“On a scale of one to ten,” I press. “How much do you enjoy living? Anything less than eight, and I’m staying put.”

He finally understands, mirth filling his eyes, before an unexpected sense of grief shadows his features. But he shakes it off and says, “I assure you that I have plenty to live for—and no plans for that to change anytime soon.”

Ember brushes her shoulder against mine, silently saying we can leave. But in doing so, she reminds me of all the reasons I agreed to this madness in the first place. So I exhale shakily and look Zander straight in his ridiculously blue eyes as I say, “Please don’t make me regret trusting you.”

There’s a heaviness to my plea that he can’t—and doesn’t—miss.

Nodding solemnly, he replies, “You have my word.”

“Wonderful,” Scarlett says, clapping her hands together. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Hearing that, Ember gives me a final rib-crushing embrace and whispers in my ear, “You’ve got this, Charlie Bear. I’ll see you on Friday, and miss you every second until then.”

She releases me and steps back just as Gabe finishes his own farewell with Zander. The two of them then wave cheerily as Hawke leads us toward the helicopter, his fingers curled around my elbow as if he expects me to run—or faint.

“Deep breaths,” Hawke tells me with an encouraging smile as he slides open the rear door and shimmies across to the far side, followed by Bentley and Zander, then finally, me.

I hover uncertainly when I see how tight the space is, awkwardness replacing my fear as I watch Bentley sit in between Hawke’s legs and realize I have to do the same with my own tandem partner.

Zander notices my hesitation and pats his lap. “Just act as if I’m Santa and you’re making a Christmas wish.” He immediately cringes. “Wow, that sounded a lot worse than I intended, but I figured ‘I don’t bite’ was too clichéd.”

I don’t have a chance to respond before the pilot slides the door shut behind me and returns to the cockpit, with Scarlett settling into the copilot’s seat. A moment later, the engine starts up, the sound thunderous in the cabin.

Since my desire to be sitting when we lift off is stronger than my aversion to being in direct physical contact with Zander, I lower myself unceremoniously onto his lap. He says something, but even with his mouth at my ear, I can’t hear the words. The next second, however, his arms come around me, and my breath catches as I’m enveloped by all that is him. The scent of mint hits my nose, mixed with something earthy and undeniably pleasant, but I force those thoughts away and am about to yank myself out of his hold when I realize—with some humiliation—that he’s not trying to cop a feel, but rather, he’s connecting our harnesses in preparation for our jump. That must have been what he tried to tell me, his words drowned out by the roaring of the rotor blades.

I’m relieved he can’t see my face right now, but I’m even more relieved when Scarlett turns around and hands out some aviation headsets. The instant I place mine over my ears, the deafening sound is muted, and this time I hear Zander clearly when he speaks into his microphone and asks, “All good?”

My voice only slightly betrays my anxiety when I answer, “Just peachy.”

I can hear the humor in his tone as he warns, “I have to tighten everything, so this may feel a little uncomfortable. But we don’t want any space between us when we jump.”

For the sake of my sanity, I don’t question the reason for that, and rest stiffly against him as he tugs at the joints between our harnesses. I turn to see Hawke doing the same with Bentley, though I also notice that Bentley has a large pack strapped to his front that he wasn’t wearing before. He also still has his camera out, filming everything happening in the cabin.

“Everyone set?” Scarlett asks.

Hawke leans across to double-check Zander’s work, then gives Scarlett the thumbs-up sign. A moment later, a subtle lightheadedness hits me as we rise swiftly upward.

“A few important things,” Hawke says over the muffled sounds of flight.

My gaze is out the window as we soar away from the airfield and over the tops of trees, gaining height with every second, but I pull my attention back to him at the seriousness of his tone.

“Charlie,” he says, “keep your arms up against your chest when you jump, right here.” He taps the shoulder straps of my harness. “Somersaulting is normal, so don’t panic, and trust Zander to control your fall. When you’re coming in to land, lift your legs, and let Zander do all the work. All you have to do is relax and enjoy the ride.”

I hate how much I have to trust Zander in every aspect of our jump, but I find comfort in knowing he’s not going to jeopardize his mission to save his public image by squashing us like pancakes against the earth.

That image hits me hard, making me loathe my overactive imagination, but I swallow my nausea and keep listening as Hawke goes on, “We’ve found a small ledge partway up the mountain range that’s clear enough for us to use as a drop zone.” He offers instructions to Zander that I can’t begin to understand, but words like “trees” and “cliff” and “watch out for” have my heart feeling like it’s going to beat out of my chest. The only reassurance I have—and I use that term loosely—is how calm and steady Zander is in his replies. Despite my doubts, he at least seems to know what he’s doing. I try to channel his zen, but that becomes impossible when the pilot’s voice crackles in our ears.

“ETA five minutes. Final checks, everyone.”

“Goggles on,” Hawke says, handing out protective glasses. “Any questions before we do this? You feeling okay about it all, Charlie?”

“No, and absolutely no ,” I answer, after which I actually feel Zander shake with silent laughter behind me. “But you said I don’t need to do anything, so I’m holding you to that.”

“Just enjoy the ride,” Hawke confirms, repeating his earlier words. “And remember to breathe.”

With no further warning, he leans across us to reopen the side door, causing wind to gust in with enough force that I would have flown straight back into Zander if I wasn’t already plastered to him.

A garbled sound of fear leaves me, and I expect to feel Zander laughing again, but he just wraps his hands soothingly around my upper arms and says, “Don’t worry, I won’t let you go.”

I nearly remind him that we’re strapped together so he literally can’t , but I’m incapable of forming intelligent words right now, my body quaking as I see how far down the Blue Mountains are beneath us.

I can’t do this , I want to scream—but I don’t. Because as scared as I am, there’s another part of me, a small, long-buried part, that’s whispering words of encouragement. It’s reminding me that this is what living is meant to be: taking risks, embracing challenges, doing things that are as exciting as they are terrifying. It’s been months since I’ve felt even a fraction of what I’m experiencing now, so while my instinct is to run from it, to hide from it, to avoid it, for the first time in a long time, I don’t do that.

Instead, I shift my weight across the bench at Hawke’s instruction, letting Zander do most of the maneuvering, until suddenly we’re seated at the edge of the opening, our legs dangling above the skids and into nothing.

“You two are jumping first,” Hawke yells over the raging wind, “but we’ll be close enough behind for Ben to film you on the way down, just in case the nano drones miss anything.”

I jolt at the reminder of the bug-sized cameras and look around the cabin, amazed anew that their diminutive size makes it impossible for me to spot them spying on us. But then my attention is diverted when our speed slows down, before we stop altogether, hovering in place.

Real panic slams into me now that our jump is imminent, and that feeling only grows when Hawke points out the door and tells Zander, “See the ledge about halfway up that peak? That’s our drop zone.”

I can see nothing but forest and mountains and jagged, deadly cliffs, but Zander offers a confident, “Got it.”

“On your count, then,” Hawke says, making my pulse skyrocket.

Scarlett turns around in her seat again, smiling widely as she says, “I’ll see you all a bit later when ground support catches up to you. Take care, and have a great time!”

I’m increasingly doubtful about the last part, especially as we remove our aviation headsets and the roaring of the blades smacks into my eardrums all over again.

I only hear Zander because he’s yelling straight into my ear now as he bellows, “On three!” He presses his hand to my brow, drawing my head back until it’s supported against his shoulder, holding it in place long enough for me to know to leave it there.

“One!”

Everything buzzes within me, a previously unknown cocktail of numbness and adrenaline?—

“Two!”

—mixed with exhilaration and terror?—

“Three!”

—and then the only thing I’m feeling is weightless, because Zander has flung us out of the helicopter, and we’re freefalling through the sky.

A scream erupts from my mouth, drowned out by the thunder of air pummeling me as we spin and twist uncontrollably. Everything is a blur of blue and green and blue and green and blue and?—

Suddenly, we’re not flipping anymore. We’re still freefalling, but the ground is beneath us now, the sky above us, and Zander’s hands are loosening the death grip I have on my harness so he can stretch our arms out to the side. The moment I capitulate, I feel like I’m flying; like I’m Superman soaring through the air. It’s as if I’m on the world’s scariest rollercoaster and I’ve finally let go of the safety railing, yielding my fear to embrace the thrill.

I feel...

I feel...

I feel alive .

Tears hit my eyes behind my goggles, but I blink them back, since I don’t want to miss a moment of this.

And then, just as I begin to worry about how quickly the forested mountains are approaching, a violent tug yanks us upward as the parachute catches.

At first, the only thing I feel is overwhelming, immeasurable relief. But then I hear it: absolutely nothing.

The silence is unlike anything I’ve ever known. It’s as if I’m alone in the world— we’re alone in the world—and an unexpected peace settles upon me as we glide slowly downward.

“Wow,” I whisper, feeling strangely humbled as I marvel at the view, realizing how small and insignificant I am against the vast sense of... of life stretching out before me.

“It’s incredible, isn’t it?” Zander’s voice is soft, reverent, as if he’s caught in the same spell. “Up here, there’s nothing but freedom.”

Freedom. It’s the perfect word, and it causes my eyes to prickle again. My throat is clogged enough that I can’t reply, but I don’t think he expects me to. It’s almost like he was saying it to himself, like he’s feeling everything I am, like he understands —though I can’t imagine how that might be true.

We say nothing as we glide down to the earth, silently agreeing to experience the journey without distraction. Hawke and Bentley soar near us, the latter pointing a small camera in our direction, but I choose to ignore him—and whoever might end up watching this—to instead sink into the moment.

All too soon, we approach our drop zone, and I see that Hawke’s “ledge” is even narrower than I feared, bordered on one side by a rising, tree-covered mountain, and on the other by a plunging cliff steep enough to steal my breath. If Zander’s steering is off by just a little, if the air currents from the mountain range cause an unexpected updraft, if we overshoot or undershoot or?—

“Legs up,” Zander tells me, his confident tone yanking me from my escalating dread.

I lift my lower half as high as I can, praying we’re not about to go tumbling off the side of the mountain, our adventure ending before it begins.

But I needn’t have worried, because from one minute to the next, we’re landing on the rocky shelf, crumpling to the ground as gravity takes effect, with me once again in Zander’s lap.

“We’re alive,” I gasp, somewhat stunned, as Hawke and Bentley land gracefully a few feet away.

Zander’s laugh tickles my ear. “I promised I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

“That doesn’t mean I believed you.”

His reply is soft, meaningful, and causes a shiver to travel down my spine. “Now you know better.”