Page 46 of Vicious Princess (The Trials of Death and Honor #1)

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

B etrayal tastes…bitter. Like one of those purple hot peppers that grow in the north of Wetra; they’re dried and milled into a fine powder to be used as a spice.

I hated the taste of it in soups since I was little. And I absolutely detest it now, as it seems to linger in my mouth at all times.

Nobody pays much attention to the fact that Kata went missing. Not even her friends Bloom and the giant.

In fact, the air seems lighter since she’s not here with us. For the first time in months, a couple of fae speak to me in the barracks and during lectures. Fae who barely ever spared me a glance, let alone bothered to hold a conversation.

It’s so odd.

Despite my newfound popularity, I keep to myself for the next week. I go for a run every morning at five, then head to breakfast and straight to lectures. During physical training, I avoid Daegel like the plague, not even looking his way.

After lectures, I head to dinner with Roman most evenings, and then I make my way to the library to study for Ezkai Gavriel’s class. Once my mind is mush, I train by myself.

I find many secluded areas around the castle grounds to train peacefully until the moon hangs heavy above my head, signaling that it’s time for me to head to bed if I want to get at least four hours of sleep.

I’m out the moment my head hits the pillow.

Every day goes by like this.

Rinse and repeat.

Tonight, ignoring my aching muscles screaming for the comfort of my bunk bed, I head to the plum orchard to figure out the name of my bow. While we’ve been friends for a while, it remains stubborn as shit and won’t give in to me fully.

It’s quiet around the castle grounds at this time of the night. The sky is clear, the moon slowly making its way towards its peak. The gravel crunches under my boots, night birds chirping all around me.

It’s a beautiful night. A contrast to the ugly mess weighing on me from within.

The revelation about Daegel’s family makes me question many things about the Order of Ezkai. His family can’t be the only one affiliated with Caligos. There must be others, too. How many?

Once I reach the orchard, I leave the pathway and head deeper between the trees. Their trunks have been serving as perfect targets for me. And here, nobody can see me.

I’ve started to think that the Order may not be what I thought. Maybe Kazh was right when she said the Order was full of shit. I’m so sick of all the postering about honor and protecting the country from Caligos when Caligos are within their ranks.

Be strategic.

Full of shit or not, Ezkai still hold the power and networks I need.

“You’re strong. You know how to win, Phoenix. That’s never been an issue for you,” Dad said.

He sighed, tired, after I’d come home from a sparring match I’d won—by breaking the no-weapons rule. I was thirteen.

I was a lot of things: Angry, because my opponent had broken the rules first. Proud of the slash I’d left behind. Guilty because Dad looked at me like I wasn’t who he’d thought I was.

“He cheated first!”

“The moment you start ignoring your inner compass and break the rules just because it’s easier, that’s the moment you lose the most important war,” he said, voice even.

I bit the inside of my cheek.

“We have raised you to have morals and honor, Phoenix. I don’t care if the whole damn world turns to ash—you do not become the fire that burns it.”

Gods.

Oh, how far the apple has fallen from the tree.

Once I’m surrounded by nothing but the vast number of trees, I pick up my bow and get ready to shoot. The sound of the arrow hitting the first trunk sends a satisfying shiver down my spine.

The way I feel alive when I’m in my element, using my bow, can compare to nothing else in the whole damn word.

Selfishly, I use every arrow in my quiver to scatter the heavy thoughts that weigh on me. Though, even when they all land true, I can’t escape it.

I left Wetra, running from one corrupt ruler, to land in the grasp of another one here in Ekios. The irony doesn’t escape me.

But I’m not here to save the world, or even Ekios. The Order of Ezkai being corrupt is just more proof that there’s nothing sacred in this world.

Besides…now that I know about the connection between Dad and the General, it opens a door to new opportunities.

The General’s on my side. I’m ahead of my own game.

All I need to do is successfully join the Order.

When my quiver is empty, I head over to retrieve my arrows. I rip them out of the trunks with ferociousness. Once my quiver is full again, I venture deeper between the trees. Branches scrape my cheeks as I pass the trees.

I ignore the sting.

This pain is nothing compared to the one in my heart.

I can’t fucking believe Daegel lied to me. Kept me in the dark. All the while saying things I wanted to hear and masterfully playing my body like a harp.

“Fuck him,” I mutter, choking on anger.

Settling in again, I lift my bow and strike the tree right in front of me. My bow hums, as if pleased. It’s ready to unleash destruction upon everything around us.

Startled, I lower it and pause before plucking another arrow from my quiver. That was…weird.

I wait for another reaction from the bow, a signal or a feeling. But it’s calm once again. Maybe I imagined it before, too swept up in my own feelings.

Carefully, I choose an arrow and lift the bow, aiming at another tree. I pause before letting go of the arrow, just in case the bow chooses to communicate again.

Nope. Nothing.

So I inhale. Exhale. Let go.

The arrow lands true.

I miss having Daegel to guide me through my training. The last mission before graduation is fast approaching. It may happen any day.

While I’m fully capable of training by myself and honing my skills further, having him there with me…well, it helped get me to where I am today.

“Fucking asshole,” I curse and shoot another arrow. To my bow, I say, “How much longer before you tell me your damn name, huh?”

Silence stretches around me while I stare at the bow in my hand, waiting for it to speak. As if an object could speak.

I must be losing my damn mind.

So far, the bow has communicated with me through subtle cues and feelings. That’s all. I’ll have to figure out its name in some way. It sure as fuck won’t just grow a mouth and start blabbering.

At least, I hope it doesn’t. With the attitude this bow has, I don’t want to hear all it has to say.

I hiss and drop the bow to the grass because it heated up right where I was holding it.

With a scoff, I rub my burning palm on my thigh. “That’s it. I don’t care what your true name is. You’re officially Sassy Bitch.”

When I pick it up, it doesn’t burn me. So I take it as approval for the name I chose.