Page 45 of Vicious Princess (The Trials of Death and Honor #1)

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

I go see Daegel immediately after my meeting with the General and Taaslord.

It might not be the smartest choice, considering this damn relationship is the reason I almost got expelled, but I can’t wait any longer.

I’ve waited long enough.

I need to know.

Avoiding the main entrance to Daegel’s estate, I scale the wall at the back of the property and make my way through the vast gardens towards the house.

Suddenly, the size and lavishness of his estate, the guards stationed at the front gate at all times, the confidence and arrogance with which he operates, the act of sneaking me into the damn gambling parlor like he owned the place, it all makes sense.

All the pieces I’ve overlooked before click into place.

Quietly, I slip into the home library and make my way through his dark corridors, then up the stairs to the second floor, where I know the primary bedroom is located.

I keep trying to reason with myself. I try not to jump to conclusions. I try to find an explanation.

Something, anything else that would make sense. Yet…the only thing that makes sense is the cold, hard truth. One I refused to see. It’s like a sharp blade lodged in the middle of my chest.

Daegel’s sprawled in the middle of a large bed when I enter room. A couple of candles burning on the nightstand offer dim light.

He’s awake, though.

“Phoenix? What a pleasant surprise.” His voice is sleepy, words coming out in a gentle growl. He yawns and stretches his strong, massive body. It takes up more than half the bed.

Trying to bide some time to clear my mind and figure out the next step, I circle the bed. I have so much on my mind, I don’t even know where to begin.

A light frown edges between his eyebrows. “What’s wrong, Phoenix? Talk to me. Don’t keep things from me.”

For a moment, I can’t breathe. It’s too painful. Daegel hasn’t changed since I last saw him. He’s the same man.

Yet he’s a total stranger.

“Come here, Phoenix.” Daegel crosses his hands behind his head.

So handsome.

So dangerous.

So devious.

Keeping his gaze, I approach the bed and climb onto it. Daegel watches me crawl up his body until I finally straddle his hips.

Desire ignites in Daegel’s gaze as it slides down from my face to what’s between my thighs.

“Are you in the mood to fight like the other night?” His hands grip my hips. Even through the leathers separating us, the heat leaches from his body into mine. “Or would you rather skip to the good part? I missed you, princess.”

While before his gaze caressing my body felt like the gentlest, most loving caress over my skin, the sensations it elicits today are very different. It feels like the very tip of the sharpest blade tracing the lines of my body, waiting until it’s time to strike true.

I flatten my palms on his stomach and glide them up to his chest and over his folded arms until my chest meets his and warmth floods my body despite my mind’s protests. Daegel doesn’t fight me as I gather his wrists above his head.

Daegel’s eyes burn with desire. That’s all there is right now.

Over his lips, I whisper, “You don’t want me keeping things from you, yet that’s what you’ve been doing all this time.” My voice is seductive and gentle, but my words are harsh.

It snaps Daegel from the trance immediately. “Please, princess. We’ve been through this already.”

I straighten my back, glaring at him pinned underneath me. “Do you know where I was just before coming here?”

“No. But I hope you’re about to tell me.”

“At the Ezkai General’s office. With him and Taaslord Noire.”

Daegel is sober after hearing that.

He blinks. Wets his lips. His gaze sweeps over me. “You’re okay. They didn’t hurt you. Did they expel you?”

“No, they didn’t. But, oh, they told me things. So many things.”

Suddenly, I need space.

All the space I can put between us.

I slide off him and roll away as fast as I can manage. Once I’m out of the bed, I walk over to the window that overlooks the gardens.

“Tell me what happened,” he demands.

How dare he demand anything from me?

Without turning to face him, I say, “Nightingale reported us to the administration. The General and Taaslord know. But they won’t act on the knowledge, because she didn’t have the time to give the official testimony for the investigation, so they’ll write this off as rumors this time around.

Of course, you probably already know about it, considering that Kata is fucking missing. ”

Finally, I turn to face him again. I want to see the reaction my words have on him.

Daegel watches me, his face guarded.

“Tell me it wasn’t you,” I whisper. “Tell me it wasn’t you who made Kata disappear. That it’s only a damn coincidence she went missing the night we had a fight.”

His silence is answer enough.

My heart tumbles down from my chest to my stomach.

I can’t believe this.

Still, he refuses to be honest with me.

“Dodging my questions, telling me you’ll take care of the situation, taking me to a gambling parlor that’s dangerous to everyone but you, an ex-girlfriend who’s a Caligos?—”

Tell your father I say hi and that he can summon me anytime. Leti’s words ring in my mind.

I shake my head. “I didn’t know what she meant that night, so I dismissed it, but now it makes perfect sense. You’re a fucking Caligos.”

Daegel is out of the bed in the blink of an eye.

His naked chest blocks my view. He takes a step forwards, reaching for me. I recoil, my hips bumping into the windowsill.

The devastation that crosses his beautiful face squeezes my heart painfully. His hand drops back to his side, limp. “Phoenix, please. Let me expla?—”

“What is there to explain?” I raise my voice.

“That is why you keep so many secrets, why there are so many ‘complicated’ things in your life.” I scoff, spreading my arms. “All this time you’ve been lying to me about your identity!

All the while you made me fall for you, trust you, and think that I know who you are as a person. Do others know?”

I shut my mouth. Of course they do.

It’s a public secret.

I’m the only one who was blind to it. A stupid human . Was this the secret Roman wanted to tell me when he spoke about Daegel?

“I don’t get it. How are you a Caligos if you don’t have the tattoos?” I brace my hands on my hips.

Daegel closes the distance between us. I’m backed up against the window, unable to keep him away. Bracing my palms on his naked, hot chest, I try to put as much distance between us as possible.

I don’t want my stupid attraction to him mess with my mind. I need the truth. All of it.

“I’m not a Caligos. Technically,” he says calmly.

I glare at him. “Do not fucking lie to my face, not right now.”

He spreads his arms. “That’s why I only carry my Ezkai tattoos.”

My eyes scan his beautifully sculpted flesh. I shake my head, confusion clouding my judgment. “I— You say you’re not a Caligos ‘technically.’ What does technically mean?”

“I’m an Ezkai by legacy and blood. Talbots are among the oldest Ezkai families, with many Decarios serving a number of generals over many centuries,” he says. He pauses, as if the next words are hard to say. “But…I’m also a Caligos by legacy and blood.”

My heart plummets in my chest.

He cups my cheeks, eyes pleading. “I didn’t choose it, Phoenix.

Just because I was born into this family, it doesn’t mean I chose this destiny.

I don’t carry any Caligos tattoos, because I’m not officially initiated into the organization.

I never will be. It’s not my path. Instead, I chose to serve the General and the Order. ”

I search his gaze, desperate for a sign. Something that would help me figure out if he’s telling the truth. “What did you do to Kata?”

The next couple of heartbeats while I wait for his answer are the longest seconds of my life.

“I used my Caligos connections to take her out. While I haven’t harmed her personally, I ordered it.”

I can’t lie. I’m relieved she’s gone. One worry off my shoulders.

But just because he made her disappear, it doesn’t make it right that he kept part of his identity a secret.

That he didn’t care enough to involve me in his decision.

That he didn’t trust me.

I slap his hands away from my face. “It doesn’t excuse you lying and keeping secrets! You ask me to trust you. How can I if this is how you act? If you keep me at an arm’s length at all times? This, the decision to deal with Kata, was supposed to be ours . Not yours alone.”

Not an ounce of regret is present in the tight set of his jaw. “I hid it to protect you and to protect us . Our future. I’m not going to apologize for that.”

“Our future?” A sarcastic laugh bubbles out of me. “What fucking future? You’ve been lying to me all this time, keeping secrets while I risked my fucking future in the Order, thinking that we’re on the same page.”

“And we are! I want you, Phoenix. Not a single thing between us was an act.” He taps the middle of my chest where my heart is and places my palm over his.

“Everything I feel for you is true and real. Has been from the very moment I laid my eyes on you in that bar. Besides, it’s rich coming from you , considering you’re the one who has a wall built around your heart taller than any Ekiosh mountain. I’m not the only one keeping secrets.”

“Fuck you.” I shove his chest, but he doesn’t move an inch.

With him so close to me, his delicious scent overwhelming my senses, I can’t think straight. My mind is running a thousand miles an hour, the General’s warning ringing over and over again.

It’s too much. I can’t deal.

“I need space,” I choke out. “Give me fucking space.”

Immediately, he steps away from me. Finally, I’m able to breathe. It doesn’t make me feel any better, though.

“Phoenix, please. I’m sorry I kept this from you—I had no choice,” he says. “Don’t end what we have because of me trying to protect you. Caligos are more dangerous than you know.”

“Keeping me in the dark doesn’t make it safer for me,” I say, breathless. “It’s a pathetic excuse.” I head to the door.

He calls after me. “Where are you going?”

“Stay away from me,” I call over my shoulder before I slam the door shut behind me.