Page 14 of Vein & Vow (The Bouchers #1)

Chapter 13

Reese

I woke up with a heavy chest and burning eyes. It only took a moment to remember why.

Disbelief and fear held me captive on the bed as I stared at the ceiling of Beau’s room.

He’d had another mate.

I didn’t know where she was or what had happened, but he hadn’t denied it. She existed. I hadn’t even known that was possible. It couldn’t be possible. Everyone knew that Vampires only mated once.

My mind raced as I thought back over every interaction we’d had. Beau had been angry when we met. What had he said? No. Fuck, no.

My heart raced.

Beau hadn’t been surprised by the heat, but his brothers hadn’t known exactly how it worked. Danny had mentioned Beau fucking things up twice . The breadcrumbs had been there, but I hadn’t even known to look for them.

If I was honest with myself, I hadn’t wanted to see them.

Beau had shown me who he was from the beginning, but I’d refused to see it. I’d been so sure that it was fate for us to meet. I’d been so overwhelmed with the idea that, for once, I was being given something special. Every decision I’d made since he showed up at my door had been in line with that belief.

My hands had been slapped so many times when I reached for things that I hadn’t even questioned it when I’d been given something without asking for it.

I’d been too grateful for something of my own. Something that was irrevocably mine .

The thread connecting me to Beau felt like the curse he’d described as I climbed out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. My hair was a rat’s nest, and the sight of it made my hands shake as I wrestled it into a tight bun at the base of my neck.

I wasn’t angry enough to ignore the times that Beau was sweet. It was impossible to forget all the things I liked about him, which made the weight on my chest even heavier. It was impossible to hate the person who’d laughed until he had tears in his eyes when I dropped my ice cream cone on the boardwalk two minutes after he bought it. How was I supposed to forget the way he’d laid in bed beside me, rubbing my back and telling me about the little brother he’d lost?

I couldn’t ignore the way he looked at me like I was the center of everything.

My stomach cramped as I braced my hands on the bathroom counter.

Jesus. I’d known him a week. It shouldn’t hurt this bad.

“Are you all right?” Beau asked, swinging the bathroom door open slowly.

He was fully dressed, and he looked worse than I felt.

“Are you ready to talk?” I asked, meeting his eyes in the mirror.

“No.”

I nodded and looked away. I wasn’t even surprised.

“But, I will,” he added. “Come out when you’re ready.”

I took my time getting dressed. Every part of me felt so incredibly exposed already that I needed the armor of clothing.

He must’ve thought I was such an idiot when I’d so earnestly told Rena that I finally had something that was just mine.

Part of me wondered if I really wanted to know about the woman who’d come before me or if I’d be opening a can of worms that I could never close again, but I also knew that not knowing would eat me alive. I followed him out of the bathroom.

“What would you like to know?” Beau asked as I sat across from him at the small kitchen table. His hands were clasped, and his entire body was stiff.

“Everything,” I replied quietly, bracing.

“Her name was Millicent Davies.” His voice was flat, almost detached.

“Where is she?”

“Dead.”

“When did she die?”

“Twenty-eight years ago,” he said roughly.

I frowned as he leaned back in his seat and ran his hand through his hair.

“I thought mates were immortal?”

“Human women are not,” he snapped, getting to his feet.

I felt like I was missing something, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

“You’re not making sense.” I watched as he paced across the room.

“She was married,” he said finally, coming to a stop.

“Oh.”

“She loved him,” he ground out.

“But—” How was that possible? Why was that possible?

A knock on the bedroom door had Beau cursing as he crossed the room.

“What?” he barked, throwing it open.

“Oh, Bjorn,” Erik said softly, taking him in. He glanced over at me. “We have company.”

“We’re in the middle of something,” Beau replied. “We’ll be down later.”

“Mordecai and Helen will wait,” Erik said with a nod.

“You called him?”

“I thought it best.”

“You overstepped.”

Erik nodded again as Beau shut the door in his face.

“Isn’t Mordecai your dad’s best friend?” I asked, watching him closely as he came back into the kitchen area.

“Is that what you want to talk about?”

“No.”

“What else would you like to know?”

“How do you have two mates?” I blurted, my face flaming. I felt like such an idiot. Curling my hands into fists in my lap, I dug my fingernails into my palms.

“I have one mate,” Beau corrected. He ran his hands through his hair again.

I’d never seen him so jittery. It was as if he couldn’t stand still for even a moment. The heat beneath my skin flared. I ignored it.

“But you said Millicent was your mate.”

“Millie,” he corrected. “She went by Millie.”

It felt as if we were talking in circles and not getting anywhere, but the longer the conversation lasted, the more panicked I got.

“Explain it.”

“I have one mate. You.”

“Jesus Christ, Beau,” I snapped, rising to my feet. “Why the hell is this like pulling teeth?”

“She was happily married, Reese,” he barked, throwing his arms out. “We never completed the bond. That’s it. That’s the entire story.”

“No, it isn’t,” I argued, knowing it instinctively. If it had been that simple, it wouldn’t be so hard for him to talk about. “You said that we were made for each other, so why would that be true if you were made for Millie? Why would you have met her after she was married if mates were a part of some grand plan? What you’re saying makes no sense.”

“He should’ve died in the war,” he shot back angrily, his voice practically vibrating. “All right?”

What war?

“Why didn’t he?”

Beau’s hands curled into fists at his sides.

“Beau?”

“Because I saved his miserable life,” Beau snarled, his face contorting into an expression I’d never seen him make before, even at his angriest. “I followed him, and I kept the motherfucker alive.”

“Why would you do that?” I practically yelled in disbelief.

He was changing in front of my eyes. The veneer of detachment that I’d come to expect whenever Beau was pissed had disappeared, and I could suddenly see every emotion he was experiencing.

My heart raced as he struggled to control himself.

“Because she loved him,” he gritted out, breathing heavily. “Because she was pregnant, and even if he’d died, I couldn’t have done that to her.”

“Done what?” I asked gently, my heart in my throat as I slowly rounded the table.

“Made her watch while her child grew old and died, and she stayed twenty-one years old,” he said so quietly that I barely heard him.

“You walked away,” I whispered.

“I barely remember it,” he confessed through his teeth. “The pain was—” He shook his head.

“You’ve probably blocked it out,” I murmured, carefully laying my hand on his chest.

Beau was quiet as he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me closer.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” he finally murmured tiredly, tipping his head down until our foreheads met. “Can we stop for now?”

The pain in his eyes nearly brought me to my knees.

“Okay.” I still had so many questions, but the fact that he’d reached his limit was undeniable. I could’ve pressed for more, and I was pretty sure he would’ve given it to me, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“I—just say the word,” he breathed. “And we can talk about it again.”

“Did you sleep last night?” I asked carefully, brushing his messy hair off his forehead.

“No.” He swallowed and licked his lips. “You had bad dreams all night.”

“I did?” I rarely remembered dreaming at all.

“I didn’t want to leave you alone,” he confessed almost defensively.

Closing my eyes, I pressed my forehead harder against his.

I’d been so angry that I’d had to force myself to sleep beside him so that the heat wouldn’t burn me alive, meanwhile, he’d spent the night guarding me from bad dreams.

“Come on,” I ordered, pulling away.

Beau followed me silently into the bedroom and onto the bed. He moved like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, but there was absolutely no hesitation as he wrapped himself around me.

I shuddered as his lips pressed lightly against my throat, and he immediately jerked his head back.

“Go ahead,” I murmured, catching the back of his head in my hand. “You haven’t had blood since yesterday.”

“I’m fine,” he murmured, leaning up to meet my eyes.

“Don’t make yourself sick,” I chided softly, a lump in my throat. “I’m yours, right?”

He bit down so quickly that I let out a breath of surprise before leaning into the sensation. It was different when we weren’t aroused, more like a soft warmth cocooning me rather than sparks racing along my skin.

When he was done, he let out a sigh of relief before kissing where my shoulder met my neck in silent thanks. Minutes later, he was fast asleep.

Once I knew that he wouldn’t feel the need to follow me, I carefully edged off the bed and left the room. Closing both doors as I went, I wandered into the main house and made my way downstairs, where quiet voices were having a discussion in the living room.

Erik had called his friend, and while Beau had seemed angry about it, I was just curious why he had.

“Reese,” Erik greeted gruffly, rising to his feet. He glanced behind me in silent question.

“Beau’s sleeping,” I answered with a tight smile.

“He looked like he needed it,” Erik replied.

Mattie was quietly sitting in a chair with red-rimmed eyes, and she didn’t get up as the other two people in the room stood up and turned my way.

“This is Mordecai,” Erik introduced, gesturing to a gorgeous black man with long locks and a closely trimmed beard. “And his mate, Helen.”

Mordecai was handsome, but his mate was stunning .

“It’s nice to meet you, Reese,” Helen said, her dark eyes kind as she reached out to shake my hand.

Her shoulders were broad and straight, and she stood nearly as tall as her mate, with glossy black hair in a loose braid that hung to her waist.

I gaped.

Mordecai chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted, looking away from Helen, completely mortified.

“No worries,” he said with a smile. “She gets that a lot.”

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” I said, looking back at Helen with a grimace of apology.

She smiled. “Thank you.”

“Jesus,” I muttered, looking back at Erik, who was holding back a laugh. “So, you called in Mordecai. What’s the significance of that?”

Erik’s expression instantly changed as I moved further into the room and dropped into an empty chair. “I mean, there must be something because Beau was pissed.”

“He didn’t know you asked me to come?” Mordecai asked Erik chidingly.

“You know Beau,” Erik replied cryptically.

“I’m guessing this is because I’m the backup mate, right?” I said, looking around at each of them. “So, let’s get to it. How’s Mordecai supposed to change the fact that Beau’s mate is dead, and he’s got a replacement?”

They didn’t deserve my anger, but it felt so good to let it out that I didn’t even attempt to check it.

I barely noticed Helen’s wince.

“Reese, that’s not what happened,” Mattie said soothingly.

She was trying to be nice. She’d been nice since the moment we met. Logically, I understood that. But her tone made me want to hit something.

“That’s exactly what happened,” I argued dully. “Let’s call a spade a spade. We’re all adults here.”

Erik and Mordecai shared a look, and I bristled even more, if that was possible.

“You aren’t the replacement,” Mordecai said, sitting back down, his arm over Helen’s thighs as he leaned forward a bit. “You’re one and the same.”

I just stared at him.

“You’re his soul’s mate,” he said, his words slow.

I couldn’t stop the bark of laughter that came out of my mouth. “Right.”

“It’s where the human phrase soulmate originated,” he continued calmly. “Life is like a circle. Never-ending.”

I huffed out a breath of disbelief even as my heart began to pound at the seriousness of his expression.

“That’s some fairytale bullshit,” I blustered.

“It’s not,” Mordecai replied.

“Have you never looked at Beau and thought he was familiar, somehow?” Helen asked softly. “Or felt a sense of…rightness that didn’t make any sense?”

I clenched my jaw in response.

“Your soul has searched for his since the beginning,” Mordecai said gently. “It’s what causes the fire in your blood. Once a mate is found, it’s nearly impossible to separate from them.”

“Beau did,” I shot back.

“Not without great cost,” Erik said, sitting on the arm of Mattie’s chair.

“And what makes you the expert in all this?” I asked Mordecai. “What, you’re their leader or something?”

Mordecai scoffed. “Hardly.”

“I’d like to see him try and lead me anywhere,” Erik grumbled.

“They called us,” Helen said, ignoring the men. “Because Mordecai found his mate and lost her long before I existed. It was a very long time before he found me again.”

“Are you trying to tell me we’re reincarnated until some Vampire finds us?” I asked skeptically. “That’s what you’re getting at, right?”

“Yes,” Mattie said when the others sat silent.

I looked at each of them in turn, wondering how I could politely excuse myself. What they were saying was insane, but they clearly believed it.

“Is it any crazier than believing Vampires exist?” Erik asked quietly as if he was reading my mind.

“I don’t know,” I shot back. “Vampires have never been something that had to be believed or not. They just are .”

“So is this.”

“So, everyone is just reincarnated over and over again,” I said with a laugh.

“We don’t know,” Mordecai confessed. “This only pertains to mates. We have no idea what happens when humans die.”

“Oh, sure,” I replied sarcastically. “Because why would you?”

“Reese—” Mattie leaned forward in her seat.

“No. You know, I think I’m going to just let you guys visit. You said your piece, and it’s been…interesting. Thanks for that.”

I’d just gotten to my feet when Beau strode into the room.

“What the hell is this?” he barked, moving straight to my side.

“Beaumont,” Mordecai greeted.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Beau asked darkly.

“Just trying to help,” Mordecai replied, lifting his hands, palms up. “That’s all.”

“Does it look like it’s helping?” Beau asked snidely, glancing down at me. “Because my mate looks cornered and scared.”

I wasn’t scared, per se, but I kept my mouth shut.

“I remember the confusion,” Helen said. “Knowing I wasn’t the first.”

“Why the fuck do any of you think this is okay?” Beau asked, his voice rising. “She is my mate. Mine. What happens between us doesn’t concern any of you.”

By the time he finished, he was roaring, his entire body thrumming with anger.

“Beau,” I murmured, laying my hand on his back.

“Do not ever corner her like this again,” he ordered, reaching back to grab my hand.

I let him tow me from the room and straight through the kitchen.

“I don’t have any shoes on,” I reminded him when we reached the door to the garage.

Without a word, he turned and lifted me, carrying me to the car.

I was expecting to drive back to my apartment or something, but instead Beau pulled the car around the back of the house and into the woods. Gravel crunched under the tires as we wound through the trees.

“Where are we going?” I asked quietly, reaching out to rest my hand on his thigh.

“Just—away from the house,” Beau replied, glancing at me.

“What’s back here?” It was beautiful. Beyond the narrow road, the forest seemed untouched and wild.

“Nothing really,” he said, rolling to a stop. “If we’d taken the right fork instead of the left, we would’ve ended up at the airstrip, but this way doesn’t go anywhere.”

“How much property do you guys have?” I asked, turning in my seat to look around. I chose to ignore the airstrip comment. That level of wealth was hard to even contemplate.

“Two hundred acres,” Beau replied. “My parents bought it sixty years ago. It’s worth a lot now, but it wasn’t then.”

I nodded like it was the most normal thing in the world to own hundreds of acres of untouched land. Pulling my knees to my chest, I leaned my head against the seat and looked at Beau. He was still stiff with anger, his hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry they did that,” he said eventually. “They meant well.”

“Mordecai—” I hesitated. “He said that I’m your reincarnated mate.”

“Yes.”

“But how is that possible?” I asked slowly. “Do I…Uh, do I look like her, or?—”

“No,” Beau blurted with a small shake of his head. He still wasn’t looking at me.

“Oh.”

“She was taller,” he said after a moment. “Dark curly hair and it was cut short—to her shoulders. Brown eyes.”

“So…when you saw me?—”

“I knew you wouldn’t look the same,” he replied.

“You were disappointed.” The realization made me want to curl up in a ball.

“I wasn’t.” He said it too quickly to be believable.

I turned my head to stare out the windshield. I wasn’t even sure what to say. The fact that Beau had a mate before me was enough of a gut punch. To also know that she’d been some dark-haired bombshell that he’d clearly held on a pedestal for God knew how long? It was a lot to process.

“Am I anything like her?” I asked softly.

Beau didn’t answer.

Suddenly, the car was too small. I couldn’t breathe. Throwing open the door I hurled myself out. Mud immediately soaked through my socks as I walked a few steps away.

I was some reincarnated woman that Beau had loved? That wasn’t the right word. It was too small for a mating bond. I understood that now that ours had solidified. I was the reincarnation of his mate .

My head throbbed.

He was mine . That was what I’d signed up for. I’d jumped headlong into an irrevocable mating bond on the certainty that he was mine and would be mine forever. That Vampires were devoted to their mates. I’d forced my way past our rocky beginning on the assumption that it was just one of those things that mates dealt with.

I’d had no idea that I was competing with a ghost.

Of course he didn’t even like me. He’d been comparing me to a woman he’d cared so much for that he’d kept her human husband safe instead of biding his time so he could be with her himself. That kind of sacrifice was unbelievable.

But he’d happily fucked me within hours of meeting me.

I didn’t know that Beau had followed me outside until I felt his hands bracing me as I stumbled to my knees and started to vomit. It just kept coming, like my body was purging me of every terrible realization.

They came too fast to fully process, but I eventually stopped on the glaringly obvious.

He’d touched every centimeter of my body, but he’d never even kissed me.

“Baby, it’s too cold out here,” Beau said gently.

I felt like a shell as he lifted me and carried me back to the car. The comfort I’d found in touching him, even at my angriest, was missing.

I felt nothing .