Page 13 of Vein & Vow (The Bouchers #1)

Chapter 12

Beau

S he knew.

As we welcomed the Miranda-Whittakers into the house, I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She smiled and hugged the men, maintaining an almost steady stream of teasing as she helped them put their coats on the rack just inside the door, but her eyes were…off. Neither of them seemed to notice that there didn’t seem to be anything behind the smile she kept on her face, but I couldn’t look away.

“Mr. Miranda, this is Beau,” she introduced, gesturing between us.

She didn’t even look at me.

“Nice to meet you,” the slender man said, shaking my hand as he sized me up. “Call me Pete.”

“Likewise,” I murmured. I turned to his husband. “Noah, good to see you.”

“Hello, Beau,” Noah replied, reaching for my hand.

“I’m here,” Rena announced breathlessly. “I didn’t knock since someone didn’t close the door.”

“Rena,” Pete greeted, reaching out to rub her back as she scooted around him.

“Hey, Mr. Miranda,” she said, grinning at him.

She was still smiling as she looked around the group, but the moment her eyes landed on Reese, her expression froze.

“You can put your coat up here,” Reese said cheerfully, helping Rena take her coat off.

“Reese?”

My mate just shook her head.

“Come on,” she said. “Beau’s parents are in the kitchen.”

“Just letting you say hello before we add to the mayhem,” my mom trilled happily from the kitchen.

I found myself walking with Pete as we headed in that direction. Rena had commandeered Reese, but she wasn’t speaking. She must’ve remembered that anything she said could be heard from across the house.

“Thank you for making this happen,” Pete said quietly. “When Noah told me—” He shook his head. “It was a surprise.”

“I know the feeling,” I replied, staring at the back of Reese’s head.

“We know very little about you,” Pete murmured. “And I can’t pretend to understand all this.”

“Pete, you said you wouldn’t,” Noah said warningly from behind us.

“I’m just glad for the time to get to know you,” Pete finished, shooting me a halfhearted smile.

“Welcome,” my dad greeted as we entered the kitchen.

As my parents introduced themselves to Rena and said hello to the Miranda-Whittakers, I watched Reese. She grinned and elbowed Pete. He set his hand on her shoulder, saying something that made her wrinkle her nose.

Everyone laughed.

“We were so happy when Beau brought her to meet us,” my mom said, her hands clasped in front of her. “They complement each other so well.”

“We’re working on that stick up his ass,” Reese joked out of the side of her mouth.

My dad laughed.

“Can you imagine if you’d found someone like you?” Noah said to Reese teasingly. “I think I would’ve had to move out of the state.”

“You love me,” Reese shot back.

“You’ve grown on me,” he conceded. “Like an unsightly mole.”

They teased and chatted for a few minutes, but I couldn’t make myself join in. My mind was racing. There were too many voices, and I couldn’t follow the conversation.

I felt exposed and raw.

Millie was private . I didn’t talk about her with anyone. Mordecai was the only one who understood what it was like to be cut off from the other half of yourself, and it hadn’t been his choice. I’d made that decision and then had to live with it.

“The table is all set,” my mom announced. “Shall we eat?”

“It smells so good,” Rena said as we made our way to the table.

“It does,” Pete agreed.

I dropped into my seat, trying desperately to focus on the people around me. My dad was staring at me from the end of the table, but I could barely look at him. I needed to get Reese alone.

“Thank you so much for hosting us,” Pete said from across the table. “You have a beautiful home.”

“It’s our pleasure,” my mom replied, putting a bottle of wine on the table.

I’d just noticed that Reese hadn’t taken her seat when she leaned in from behind me to put a basket of bread on the table. Her torso just barely brushed my shoulder as she moved, and she jerked back instantly.

She’d changed her dress. The light blue fabric brushed against my shoulder as Millie set down a platter of food in the center of the small table. I held back a shudder as she jerked away.

A nervous laugh bubbled out of her mouth. “Static,” she said, smoothing a hand down her side.

“I can’t thank you enough for what you did today,” Alan said, shaking his head. “I almost killed myself trying to get back across town this morning.”

“More than happy to help,” Zeke replied easily, glancing at me.

I nodded in agreement. I was trying so hard to act normal, but I couldn’t seem to make my mouth form words. My mate was standing right next to me. I could smell the soap she’d used to clean the grime of the building off her skin.

I wanted to ask why he hadn’t been home with his wife the night before. Why he’d believed that it was acceptable to leave her alone when the Luftwaffe was terrorizing London. Why he hadn’t left her in this small flat that belonged to his parents instead of in the middle of town. I wanted to wrap my hand around his neck until he lost that relieved smile he was wearing.

I would’ve never left her alone. I would’ve never allowed her to stay in London at all. She’d be safe in some small town in the US if I had anything to say about it, somewhere that had no military targets, where people still left their porch lights on at night and went to sleep without fear.

“I knew you’d come, darling,” Millie said as she moved around the table to put her hand on his shoulder. “I just had to wait.”

He lifted her hand and kissed it.

It took every ounce of willpower I had not to overturn the table.

“Reese,” my mom called.

I snapped back into the present and turned my head to look at Reese.

“Sorry,” she murmured, giving her head a small shake. “Déjà vu.”

“Oh, I hate when that happens,” my mom replied. “Sit, honey. I think everyone is set.”

“This is so nice,” Pete said, looking around the table. “I don’t remember the last time we had Rena and Reese at the same table.”

“That’s because no one ever invites me,” Rena complained.

“That’s not true,” Reese argued. “You’re just always too busy for us.”

“You’re always welcome,” Noah chided.

“We’ll have to make sure Bjorn’s brothers are here next time, too,” my dad replied.

“Do they live close?” Pete asked as everyone began serving themselves.

“They live here,” Reese said, smiling at him.

“Oh, man.” Rena grimaced at my mom. “How many sons do you have? That’s brave of you.”

“Five,” Mom replied with a little laugh. “I like having all my chicks in the nest.”

I tightened my hand around my fork but didn’t correct her. There were four of us now.

At some point I was able to contribute to the conversation, but I didn’t remember what was said. Reese’s family seemed to have a good time, and the fact that my parents had already met Noah and Pete helped smooth the way. Even Rena kept her suspicion and skepticism at bay for the entirety of dinner, though I felt her gaze on my face more than once.

Reese, on the other hand, was the center of attention. She joked and laughed and teased and generally made sure that there wasn’t a silent moment. She described how she and Pete had met when she was a sophomore in his math class when she got detention for talking. Eventually, the two of them had created a somewhat unconventional bond. He and Noah had spent one of their first dates helping her move into her first apartment.

As the night came to an end we said our goodbyes and let Reese walk our guests to the front door alone.

“Look,” my father muttered, watching as Reese hugged Pete and Rena and gave Noah a little wave. “Do you see?”

I was still reeling. What was I supposed to see, exactly? I’d watched Reese with them all night. She was pretending, and she was getting away with it. I seemed to be the only one who noticed the tension in her shoulders and the flat look in her eyes.

“ That man is her father,” my dad said, letting go of my arm. “The other, she loves. Clearly. But her father, she can touch.”

I nodded. He was right. Reese didn’t seem to have any aversion to touching Pete.

“He’s worried about her, and you didn’t make it any better tonight.”

“What do you mean?”

“They were too polite to say anything,” my mom scolded. “What’s the matter with you? I’ve never seen you so nervous. You sat there like a darn statue.”

“I’m sure it was fine,” I replied, still watching Reese.

She stood in the doorway after they’d gone, watching as they drove away.

When she turned around, all pretense was gone.

“Reese?” my mom called out worriedly.

“I’m not your mate,” Reese accused, making no move to get closer.

“You are.”

“No.” She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her waist. “No, we both know that’s not true.”

“Of course you’re his mate,” my father said roughly, looking over at my mom for help.

“Thank you for a lovely dinner,” Reese said woodenly. “If you’ll leave the dishes, I’d be happy to clean them up in the morning.”

“Nonsense,” my mom replied.

“I’m pretty tired, so I think I’m going to head upstairs.”

Without another word Reese turned on her heel and walked away.

“Beau, what’s going on?” my mom asked in confusion.

“She heard you,” I shot back, following Reese. She must’ve broken into a run once she was out of sight because I didn’t catch up with her until I got to our rooms.

A half-empty coffee mug sailed toward me as I stepped inside, flinging cold coffee all over the floor.

“You fucking asshole,” she hissed.

“Reese.”

“You had another mate?” She looked around the room like she couldn’t figure out where she was. “What the fuck, Beau?”

“Drop it,” I ordered, slamming the door behind me. I didn’t want to talk about Millie with Reese. That part of my life wasn’t any of her business. It wasn’t anyone’s business.

“Fuck you!”

“You’re acting crazy.”

Reese’s eyes widened as she looked around the living room and found a tile coaster on the table and threw it.

“Knock it off!” I ducked as it flew past me.

“You said I was your mate. You—you acted like it was fucking fate or something,” she yelled, her hands fisted by her sides. “And I believed you.”

“Because you are my mate.” I cautiously moved further into the room.

“Who’s Millicent , Beau?” Reese spat derisively.

I snapped straight. “Stop.”

“Yeah, right .” She laughed. “Who is Millicent? She’s your mate, right?”

“Let it go, Reese,” I warned, trying to keep my temper in check. She was clearly upset, and I didn’t want to make it worse, but the way she said Millie’s name was like someone poking me repeatedly in the chest.

“I’m not letting shit go,” Reese retorted. “Who the fuck is Millicent? Where is Millicent?”

The most ironic part of it all was that I probably would’ve eventually told Reese about Millie. Some day when we were settled into our bond and making a life together, I would have explained what had happened to me long before she was even born. But the way she was looking at me like I’d betrayed her when, from the moment we’d met, I’d felt like I was betraying someone else? It made me livid.

“Millie is none of your fucking business,” I yelled back.

Reese jerked backward, but her surprise only lasted a moment.

“Oh, Millie ,” she said softly, her tone laced with venom. She laughed humorlessly under her breath.

“She doesn’t have anything to do with you,” I told her flatly, walking away.

“Bullshit,” she argued, following me. “It has everything to do with me.”

“It’s late,” I replied, kicking my shoes off.

I needed to stop engaging. Nothing good would come out of fighting with Reese. It’s not as if either of us could leave, not really. Even as she stared at me like she wished I’d fall off a cliff, I knew that the bond’s heat was starting to become uncomfortable. She hadn’t touched me for the entirety of dinner, and my own body had started to revolt over an hour before.

Reese stood silently and stared as I stripped down to my boxers and went into the bathroom. Maybe a little distance would help. I closed the door between us.

My stomach was in knots. Everything inside me rebelled at the thought of trying to explain to Reese what those years had been like. I didn’t even like to think about it, remembering the pain and the disassociation I’d gone through. The shit I’d seen and done.

I was holding on by a thread as I forced myself to lock those memories in the back of my mind where they belonged.

I took my time, but when I went back into the bedroom, Reese hadn’t moved.

“We can talk in the morning.”

“No,” she grit out.

“You’re acting like a spoiled brat.”

“What is wrong with you?” Reese asked, her voice breaking. “Why won’t you just tell me?—”

“Because that part of my life doesn’t belong to you,” I roared, my patience gone. “You get everything else. Anything else.”

My chest felt like it was going to crack open. Between the memories that the conversation had brought to the surface and the pain in Reese’s eyes, I was fucking drowning.

“I thought we were…” She shook her head, her brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought we were getting closer. I thought?—”

“What?” I barked.

“I tied myself to you,” she screamed back.

“No one forced you.”

Her mouth snapped shut. Then she let out a bark of hysterical laughter, her eyes wild. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”

“Can we just go to bed?” I asked calmly, even though my heart was thudding in my chest. I needed her closer. “It’s late, and I know that you can’t be comfortable.”

Reese huffed and shook out her hands at her sides. Her chest was flushed, and her hair was damp at the roots—I could see that the heat was at work—but she didn’t bend. Without another word she moved around me, making sure our bodies didn’t touch as she went into the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

It was nearly impossible to climb into bed when every instinct pushed me toward her, but I did it. I waited, listening while she ran the tub and climbed in. I lay there, wrestling with memories that I’d thought were long gone, in the silence. Eventually, the tub began to drain. A few minutes later, the sink turned on.

When Reese finally walked quietly out of the bathroom an hour later, neither of us spoke. She was completely silent as she turned off the bedroom light and climbed into bed and she never broke that silence as she scooted across it in the dark and laid down with her back pressed against my side.

She held herself completely stiff as I turned toward her and wrapped my arm around her waist. The heat under my skin cooled almost immediately, but there was no relief.

Reese didn’t relax until hours later when she finally fell into a fitful sleep.

My phone lit up the nightstand, but I didn’t move. I didn’t care which of my brothers my parents had called. I didn’t want to talk to any of them. It wasn’t as if a pep talk would fix whatever had just happened with me and Reese.

If I tried to look at the conversation we’d had before bed logically, I knew that I’d handled it badly, but I had no idea how I could’ve changed it. Reese was confused and angry, but it felt impossible to reassure her. Talking about it, acknowledging that it had ever happened, was torture.

Until that night, I hadn’t even spoken Millie’s name in seventy years.

I was still awake when the sun rose.