Page 73 of Veiled Flames (Destiny of Dragons #1)

One

Ana

“ H ow long does it take to fall in love?” I glance at Ember, my new friend, who’s sitting cross-legged on the garish, red leather sofa in my temporary office at DEFTA.

Formally known as the Dutch and English Fur Trading Alliance, DEFTA is actually the oldest vampire syndicate in the new world. I’m only here for a short time, acting as an Ambassador for the King and the Vampiric Council. It’s my duty to clean up the mess here. A big mess.

That said, I practically begged for this role as temporary CEO of DEFTA. I can’t blow it.

Now I’ve finally left the palace, I plan to see the whole world. If I do well here in Philadelphia, my father and the council will assign me even more challenging diplomatic duties. Duties that will let me travel the world. I can’t wait.

“How long does it take to fall in love?” Ember gives me a quizzical look. “I don’t think there’s a set amount of time, per se.”

I cross the gleaming, black marble floors, and they reflect the room’s excess of twenty-four carat gold trim and flashy trappings. I am well used to luxury, but I’d be much happier with a simpler, subtler decor. But I’ll leave the redecorating to whomever replaces me once my work here is done.

Tucking one leg under my silk gown, I take a seat near Ember. “I guess what I’m really wondering is…” I clear my throat. I might as well just come right out and ask her. “Do you think I might learn to love Timur? Over time?”

Ember shifts. “How much time do you think you need, Ana? I mean, you’ve known him for a century, haven’t you?”

My stomach contracts as the truth in her words strikes. I nod.

“And in all that time you two were blood partners…” she leans forward “…you never?—”

“No.” I cut her off. “Not until we traveled here to Philadelphia.” I already told Ember that Timur and I first performed the sex act after we arrived here, a month ago. I am no longer a virgin.

“I don’t know how you did it.” Ember’s cheeks flush. “I can barely function after drinking another vampire’s blood without, you know…” A soft, mischievous smile brushes her face.

My cheeks heat to match the color of my friend’s. “I was just a month past my seventeenth birthday when I became a vampire. That’s why the king selected Timur as my blood partner.”

“Because he thought Timur was a eunuch,” Ember says.

“Yes. Given my age—” and my trauma “—King Dunkan wanted to give me time before I was exposed to the more sexualized aspects of being a vampire. Time to mature.”

“A hundred years is a long time to mature.”

I flinch.

“Sorry.” Ember reaches forward. “That was insensitive. It’s just…”

I take her hand. “No, you’re right. The ruse with Timur went on far too long.

” When I explained to Ember that most single vampires in the palace had one or more exclusive blood partners, she called it ‘friends with benefits’.

If the benefit is blood, the descriptor fits, but I’m not sure that’s the benefit she meant.

As vampires we need human blood for nourishment and vampire blood to build and maintain our strength, but most blood partners share far more than their veins. Feeding and sex go hand in hand for vampires—most vampires.

I thought Timur and I were different. That sex was something we simply didn’t need.

Leaning toward her, I whisper, “Now I’ve had sex, I think about it all the time .”

Ember squeezes my hand. “Honey, that’s normal. Absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“But that’s not what I’m worried about. Not really. I want to have sex again, I’m just not sure I want to have it with Timur .”

Her eyes widen. “Did he hurt you?” She shifts toward me. “Did he do something you didn’t want?”

“No, no.” Shaking my head, I glance down.

Talking about sex like this is beyond embarrassing, but I need to talk this through with someone, and Ember is the only person besides Timur I know and trust in this country.

My sestra , Selina, is currently on the other side of an ocean, as is my father, the king.

I raise my gaze to meet Ember’s. “The physical part with Timur, I found it pleasurable.” So pleasurable I always want more when he’s done, like there’s something left unfinished.

“But that’s good , isn’t it?” Ember struggles to comprehend my dilemma.

I shake my head. “I’ll need vampire blood soon, Timur will too, and I can’t imagine feeding again without wanting to…”

“I know that feeling.” Ember raises her eyebrows a couple of times.

“Even when I was human I felt a fierce pull for sex the first time that Ryker took my vein, and then when we…” Her eyes lose focus for a moment as if she’s reliving the past. “With Zuben, it was different, but still…and then with Axe…” The flush on my friend’s face grows stronger and she shifts her hips on the sofa.

It’s clear how strongly Ember’s attracted to her mates, all three of them. How much she wants and needs each one of them.

I just wish I felt the same way about Timur.

Everything Ember’s saying has reinforced my beliefs. I only wish I’d fed from Timur one last time before he told me what he did. But I can’t change that now.

Straightening my posture, I gather my courage to state my decision aloud. “I can never feed from Timur again.”

She leans back from me. “Why not?”

“Because it would be unfair to him.” I look down. “Cruel.”

“Why would it be cruel? Ana, I don’t understand.”

“Timur, he… The last time we had sex, he confessed his love for me, his romantic love.” He told me he’d loved me for a hundred years, patiently waiting for me to want him the way he wants me.

“Oh.” Realization paints Ember’s face. “But you don’t love him . Not like that.”

I nod. “And it doesn’t seem right for me to have sex with him again, or even take his vein, in case… ” My fangs tingle from hunger. My entire body vibrates, thinking about sex.

“Sex with Timur doesn’t seem right now I know his true feelings. Not if I don’t feel the same way.” And I can abstain. I did so for a hundred years.

Ember shrugs as she leans forward. “Ana, people feed and have sex without being in love—all the time. Especially vampires. It’s okay, you know. No shame there.”

I look down. “I don’t feel shame about wanting sex. It’s… I don’t want to hurt him, to give Timur false hope that someday we might be mates.”

Ember rubs my shoulder. “Isn’t that decision up to Timur then? I mean, if you’re honest with him about your feelings, and you’re both okay with…”

“Do you think my feelings might still build up over time?” Hope renews, as I look for answers in my friend’s warm eyes. “How many times did you have sex with your men before you started to love them?”

“It’s not that simple.” Leaning back, Ember chews her lower lip as she often does when she’s thinking. “It’s not like a switch went off or anything like that.”

“Do you think Timur and I just need to do it more times? Will that help?” We’ve done it at least twice a day since we’ve been here, but I’d love justification to assuage my morals.

“How many times have you and Timur…” Ember shakes her head. “Never mind. That’s none of my business. The real question is, do you enjoy having sex with Timur.”

“Very much.” I shift my hips, feeling a need grow inside me. “In fact, every time we do it, I want to do it again.”

“And does he enjoy it?”

“I think so.” He certainly seems to. The face he makes while he’s spilling his seed…

“Then, as long as you’re honest with him, I don’t see the problem.” Ember smiles softly, encouraging me to change my mind.

But now that he’s confessed his deep feelings, having sex with Timur again seems wrong. Wrong so long as I can’t imagine reciprocating his love. I may not be able to explain it properly to my friend, but feel it deep in my gut.

“Each time Timur and I have had relations, instead of feeling closer to him, I’ve felt more distant. Like I’m chasing after something that keeps getting farther and farther away.”

“Sounds like you need something Timur’s not giving you.” She licks her lips. “Do you have orgasms?”

“I…” I don’t want to answer that question because the embarrassing answer is that I’m not certain. Sighing, I lean back.

“In a hundred years, I’ve never even considered the idea of Timur as a romantic partner. I’ve only ever felt fondness, friendship, a convivial connection.” I fight to find words to describe the way I do feel about Timur and wonder if that could ever change.

I look into Ember’s eyes. “Perhaps what I feel for Timur is the best I’m destined to have. My duties to the monarchy come first.”

Ember blinks a few times as if she’s trying to decide what to say. “Ana, everyone deserves love. Even princesses. And I can’t tell you what to do or how you should feel, but you should know, for me and my guys, the falling in love part didn’t have anything to do with the sex.”

My back stiffens. “It didn’t?”

She shrugs. “Sure, sex makes me feel closer to all three of my mates. And it’s hard to explain how much better sex felt once we had all fallen in love, but…” she sighs “…even if my mates and I could never have sex again, I would always love them.”

I gasp at her bold assertion, thinking it through. “How did you know you were in love?”

“It’s hard to explain.” Ember shakes her head. “For me, I feel a flutter, sometimes a hot flush, or both, when I think about any of my men. I feel like we’ve got magnets inside us, magnets that pull me toward them—physically and mentally.”

Ember’s blushing cheeks grow even darker.

“I think about my mates all the time. My men, it’s like…

it’s like they’re part of me, like each of them has traits that fit me like a glove to make me more whole, and…

” Her eyes lose focus, and I feel sure if she were human they’d be filling with tears.

“I can’t even imagine existing without my mates. I’d die without them.”

“Oh!” Longing tightens my heart. The connection she’s describing sounds amazing, but I feel none of that around Timur. And based on what Ember’s said, if I don’t feel that way after a hundred years, I might not ever.