Page 25

Alexei

I t took almost the entire drive back to Jay’s apartment for Alexei’s near-catatonic state to break, and when it did, it broke into laughter.

Because…fuck. Jay was a billionaire? A billionaire with a goddamn vampire fiancé ?

A fiancé.

A fucking fiancé.

That word on its own was enough to send Alexei into orbit.

Because he’d lived his entire life surrounded by people obsessed with money and power.

Gaining it, keeping it, lording it over others.

He’d finally—fucking finally —run from it all, and where had it led him?

To the goddamn heir apparent billionaire of some sketchy European vampire den, one who was currently rocking a significant threadbare hole in the left arm of his thrifted sweater.

How could Alexei do anything else but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all?

“Um…”

Alexei tore his eyes off the road (and had it really been the best idea to let him drive?) long enough to see Jay staring at him, that pale brow furrowed in visible concern. “Is inappropriate laughter one of the symptoms of shock?” Jay asked.

It was the faint note of real anxiety in his voice that had Alexei’s laughter finally quieting down. “Sorry, kitten,” he managed to get out, trying to swallow down the last errant chuckles. “I’m just realizing my father might actually have approved of you after all.”

He stole another look to see Jay nibbling at his lower lip, face drawn. He looked absolutely miserable. “I didn’t ask for the money, Alexei,” he said dully. “Vee just wanted to be sure I was taken care of, if anything happened to her.”

“Taken care of and then some,” Alexei countered, pulling up at the curb in front of Jay’s apartment.

He didn’t know why he said it, why he poked at what was clearly a sore subject for Jay.

Maybe he wanted, just for a moment, for Jay to feel bad.

Bad for lying to Alexei, for giving him hope for something more—something real—when he had always intended to leave.

He told Wolfe he wanted to stay , argued the more reasonable part of Alexei’s brain.

Either way, Jay had no answer to his petty statement, and they made their way into his apartment in strained silence.

Jay immediately wandered into the kitchen, and Alexei lowered himself onto the couch, his movements stilted, his mind torn between obsessively focusing on that one not-so-little fact (fiancé, fiancé, fiancé ) and splintering off into a thousand different, confused directions.

He didn’t realize he’d been starting at the wall, eyes unseeing, until Jay’s throat clearing broke through his haze.

“Okay, I have a big glass of water for you, and then I’ve eaten most of the stuff in my pantry, but I did have some bread, so I put some butter on it for you.

Bread and butter—that’s a classic, right? That should be tasty. Right?”

Alexei focused his vision with effort and turned his head to the left to see Jay hovering by the edge of the coffee table, a cup in one hand and a small plate in the other.

Alexei eyed the contents of the plate, and it was almost enough to make him smile for real. “Kotyonok. Did you use the entire stick of butter?”

Jay frowned down at the plate thoughtfully. “No, just, um, half? Why, should I have used the whole thing?”

Alexei shook his head, charmed in spite of himself. Fucking hell, how was anyone supposed to stay mad at this earnest, alien creature? “No, sweetheart, it’s perfect. Come here, please. We just got back from dinner. I don’t actually need any food right now.”

“The water though,” Jay insisted, stepping closer and holding the cup out in front of Alexei’s face. “You’re in shock. You need to hydrate. Right?”

Alexei took the glass from him only to set it down on the coffee table. “I’m not in shock, sweetheart. I just am shocked. Come here. I’m lonely sitting here all by myself.”

Jay set the plate down—carelessly enough to cause quite a bit of noise—and rushed the last few steps over, as if he’d only been waiting for permission to get closer.

And maybe he had been. Maybe he’d been worried Alexei would reject him.

Alexei knew he’d been in a strange, fuzzy-headed state since the arrival of Wolfe in Danny’s home.

Processing, in his own way. And he didn’t generally speak much when he was processing, which may have thrown Jay for a loop, considering Alexei’s uncharacteristic chattiness where the little vampire was concerned.

No wonder Jay thought he was in a state of shock.

Alexei pulled Jay onto his lap immediately, rubbing his nose into Jay’s dark hair, letting the refreshing peppermint scent clear his mind as Jay wiggled around to straddle his thighs. “Why are you so into human food, anyhow?” Alexei mumbled into the messy strands.

“Well, I never really got to have it, when Vee was around,” Jay mused, wrapping his arms around Alexei’s middle. “She thought it was gauche, to eat when we didn’t need to. Sometimes we had food for human guests, but I wasn’t allowed to take any for myself.”

“Jesus.” Alexei hated every new little bit he learned about Jay’s life with Vee. He’d been turned so young only to have so much of life’s pleasures denied him, so many experiences kept out of his reach. He’d been purposefully stunted before he could reach his prime.

Alexei pressed a kiss to Jay’s head, aware he was acting like a complete sappy fuck.

But Jay clung to him right back, rubbing his head into Alexei’s shoulder like the kitten Alexei so often called him.

“Are you angry with me?” he asked hesitantly, and fuck did Alexei hate the anxious note to the question.

But that was the question, wasn’t it? Was he? Alexei knew he should be. However new their relationship with each other may have been, wasn’t it basic common decency to tell someone about a fiancé, even an unconventional one?

But for once in Alexei’s life, he couldn’t muster up the anger—an emotion usually resting just underneath his skin. Not for Jay. Not when he kept dwelling on what Jay had said, back in his friends’ living room. Without his interference, they would have probably just killed me…

The underlying message behind all Jay and Wolfe’s revelations had been that Jay was in danger, by virtue of the inheritance he’d gained. And that thought had a terrifying choke hold on Alexei.

How could anyone—no matter how vicious, how fucking bloodthirsty—want to hurt this sweet vampire? Why had Jay, of all people, had to be pulled into such a brutal world? He could have stayed a happy farmer, content with his family and his connection to the land.

But if Jay’s life had never changed direction, if Veronique had never turned him, Alexei would never have met him; their lives would have been separated by centuries. Which meant while Alexei still held a deep, piercing hatred for Veronique, he couldn’t fully regret her actions, could he?

And that made him the biggest asshole of them all.

Alexei realized Jay had tensed in his hold. Of course. Because Alexei had never answered his fucking question.

Alexei pressed another kiss or five against Jay’s hair, rubbing along his slender back with one hand.

“Oh no,” he soothed. “I’m not angry with you, kitten.

It’s just… I wanted to say I’m sorry that you were turned against your will, that you’ve had to deal with all this mess.

But I’d be lying, wouldn’t I? I’m glad you’ve lived long enough for us to meet. ”

Jay tensed again, releasing his hold on Alexei’s middle and struggling against Alexei’s arms, and Alexei worried for a moment that he’d fucked up entirely, truly offended his sweet vampire with his complete lack of appropriate empathy.

But Jay was smiling at him, a strange shyness to the expression.

“I’m not sorry either,” he whispered, like it was a secret confession.

“I know— Well, it’s not a burden I’d wish on anyone else.

” There was a pointedness to that statement, his gray eyes incredibly serious, though Alexei couldn’t figure out why.

“But I’ve been happy here, in Hyde Park.

Even when I was lonely or sad, before we met, I was still happy. Does that make sense?”

Alexei brushed back a strand of Jay’s dark hair, tweaking the lobe of his ear. “Sure, kotyonok. That makes sense.”

Jay beamed at his understanding for just a moment before his face fell back into appropriate solemnity. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Wolfe.”

Alexei swallowed hard before shrugging with a misleading casualness. He may not have been angry, but he didn’t know quite what to say. Or at least not what to say that wouldn’t reveal the depths of the knife he could feel twisting in his gut. “What will you do?” he asked instead.

The unspoken part of that question being, Will you leave me? Will you run away?

“I don’t know,” Jay said. He’d started toying with the hem of Alexei’s shirt in the way he often did with his own.

“If I could just give the money away, I would. But… I don’t trust the den with it.

It’s a rotten place. They don’t deserve that much power.

With Wolfe, I could maybe keep a handle on it, but…

I don’t want to leave. I just want to…exist. For myself. With the people I care about.”

A helpless sort of hope filled Alexei at the thought that he could be one of those people. He really, really hoped he counted as one of those people. “Can’t you just give it to Wolfe, then?”

Jay had now bunched two handfuls of Alexei’s shirt together and seemed to be attempting to tie it all into some sort of weird knot over Alexei’s stomach.

“He might not take it. Alone, he’s more vulnerable.

He’s too new to the den. There’s not enough trust there.

It’s more convenient to have me on board. And Wolfe is big on what’s convenient.”