Page 36 of Vampire Kings Box Set

But it was not to be. Lorien came sweeping by with a broad grin which heralded a fresh batch of absolute nonsense.

“You're going to want to come with me,” he said, his green eyes glistening. “I’ve got a present for you in my room.”

“It’s late, Lorien. The sun will be rising in a matter of hours, you should be getting to rest.”

“And I will, but not before you see what I found behind the bins when I was taking out the garbage.”

That was another side effect of hosting humans. They needed to consume, and that consumption produced garbage which had to be disposed of. It was all very inconvenient. Mad was impressed that Lorien had actually done something approximating a chore, however. That was very unlike him.

He followed Lorien to his room, where he found himself cursing inwardly. “I have told you before, you are not allowed to capture humans.”

There was a beaten and bloodied human gagged with his own tie and tied up with his shoelaces lying on the floor.

“You know this one,” Lorien said, undeterred.

Maddox didn’t recognize the person at first. Last time he’d seen this individual, he’d been much less bloody, and his clothes had been intact rather than ripped to shreds. Lorien picked the unfortunate up and dangled him back and forth with precisely the same expression a cat has on its face when it is playing with a mouse.

“Oh. Lorien. No,” Maddox sighed as he recognized Lorien’s prey. It was Chauvelin, and he had obviously not come without a fight. “He’s an FBI agent.”

“Why is an FBI agent in our bins? Why am I calling them bins?” Lorien gasped. “Did I just turn British?”

“Put him down, Lorien.”

Lorien dropped the agent on the polished floor and stood over him dispassionately.

“Untie and un-gag him,” Maddox ordered.

“He was snooping around,” Lorien said. “I think he’s trying to investigate you for the… you know.”

“Yes. I know. Untie him. Now.”

“Assholes!” The word burst forth from Chauvelin as if it had been sitting there bottled up for hours.

“Agent Chauvelin, I do apologize. But when one lurks around the dwellings of known undead, one tends to suffer unpleasant consequences.”

“It is illegal for any vampire to feed from the unwilling. I could have you arrested for this.”

“You could, except I have not drunk from you, and nor has Lorien. You were mistaken for an intruder, owing to the fact you were skulking around in our refuse. I am going to give you a piece of advice, Chauvelin. Stay far from my home.”

“Is that a threat?”

“No. It’s not a threat. A threat would sound more like this: if you are found lurking around my home again, and heaven forbid, infiltrating it, you will find yourself exsanguinated, and your skin used to cover a chair. A small chair, but still.”

“Hey, is there any more of the toaster…” Will trailed off as he entered the room and saw Chauvelin there.

“Who is this?” Chauvelin asked the question all too eagerly.

William took one look at the agent and walked away.

“Who was that? He was human.”

“It’s not actually any of your business,” Maddox replied. “You have no warrant, and no cause that I can see for an active investigation. You’re stalking me, agent.”

“Wouldn’t that be ironic, a human stalking a vampire,” Chauvelin let out a strange and one might have even said, mad, giggle. “It’s usually the other way around.”

“Happens more than you might think. Humans become fascinated, and then, from their fascination, they become obsessed. It would not be wise to become obsessed with me.”

“Hm,” Chauvelin said, his dark eyes glittering with all sorts of bad ideas.