Page 31

Chapter 31

Holding Onto Pieces

P hillip had a contraption in his hand and didn’t hesitate to toss it at Cash the second he cleared the trees. I intercepted the small metal ball and quickly deactivated it before it could hit me with a magical shock that would paralyze whatever it touched. His furious vampire eyes were out for the first time since he last attacked the Dark Fae, ready to kill him over the Serine debacle.

I got between them, pushing Phillip into a nearby tree and trapping the oversized Hunter to it. Jo propped herself up against another one, enjoying the show. Then someone else caught my eye. Sloan appeared out of nowhere, headed straight for Cash. Time came to a stuttering halt, and both men were immobilized. I couldn’t explain how I’d done it, but everyone could move their heads.

Jo peered around in confusion, frozen in a perpetual state of casual and couldn’t be bothered. “You’ve learned how to freeze parts of us?” she asked in wonderment. “That’s…incredible. I’m fucking impressed right now. This will definitely come in handy.”

Phillip snarled, ignoring the assassin’s nonchalance about my return. “What the fuck, V?”

Sloan didn’t say anything, but I knew with a single look his direction how upset he was. No, upset wasn’t the right word. He was disappointed, which was somehow worse.

Fuck my life.

But I couldn’t blame him. He’d come back, worried about me, and I’d done this to all of them the minute they tried to attack Cash. I needed to explain myself or I’d make the situation worse. Not only did I not want to hurt them, but I sensed my power was already breaking in some areas.

“Harmony’s dead. Cash killed her. I agreed to go because it was the plan that made the most sense at the time, and I didn’t want to lose our chance. She would’ve gotten away if we waited. I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but this isn’t on him. This is on me.”

The world shuddered violently, falling out of the time freeze. I didn’t have good control over my power. I was frantic and not focusing properly. Jo would argue this was a perfect time to practice, but my heart which was ready to crash its way out of my chest would beg to differ. What could I say to make them understand? What would it take? How did I fix this?

I lost grip over my power for another beat, and Phillip moved, his hands on my arms, pulling. Reading Phillip’s cues, Sloan tried to come over to me with his insane speed, but time slowed to a stop before he made it far. Sweat beaded my brow, the hold on so many powerful creatures in one time-stall harder than it’d ever been before.

Jo’s words rang in my head: “You can’t be afraid of what you’ll lose when you use your power, or it’ll cripple you. Never lose sight of your goal.”

I refocused on why I had to do this. I needed them to listen, and this was the only way to make sure no one got hurt while I did.

“Are you fucking kidding me, maus?” Phillip spat, frozen from the shoulders down again.

The term of endearment was not affectionate; it was full of vicious betrayal. He couldn’t fathom my actions, and I couldn’t blame him. I was so desperate to convince them to let Cash off the hook for this one that I was willing to do anything to make it happen. This was about more than just Cash, though. This was about the future.

I wouldn’t let this moment destroy all that we’d done. But most of all, I didn’t want this moment to destroy what we all had together. It might be youthful ignorance parading as hope, but everyone had to be on the same side to do what we planned. We couldn’t let the fighting between us do what would ultimately benefit the Organization and no one else. This was a test, and we couldn’t afford to fail it.

“You’d side with that dummkopf when you haven’t a fucking clue what he’s done? He’s a killer, V. He’s more dangerous than you could ever know. But clearly, he’s already gotten to you. You’re not thinking straight, and I can’t watch you destroy yourself for that drecksack. I don’t care who you go with, but not him, maus. Sloan—”

Before I could say anything, Cash decided to cut in, frozen like the others, “I’ve told her everything. All of it. Things I’ve never revealed to any of you. I’m hers to command. You think I have any power over her? You think you do? Ha! I thought you were meant to be clever, Hunter. No, we’re nothing but hopeful wankers following her around.”

I glared at Cash, but he went on despite it.

“You might not believe me because you’re too distracted by your ridiculous Hunter pride to trust her the way I do, but I’ll do anything for her. For some incomprehensible reason, she likes you and wants you around, so I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you sodding brutes that I’m not a danger to her. Use that blasted bracelet to convince yourself if you must, but if that’s what it takes, then I’m willing to satisfy your savior complex to stay beside her. I won’t pretend to understand what she sees in you—gods know I can’t fathom what an oaf like you has to offer her aside from a headache—but I’ve honored every promise I’ve made to V, and you won’t keep me from honoring this one.”

Phillip scoffed, unconvinced. My power failed, and both Hunters worked in sync to get me away from him, but Cash intercepted them with his magic. Suddenly, I was feet away, wrapped in the Dark Fae’s arms, protected by a glistening barrier of magic. Jo watched the rest of us with curiosity, but she didn’t appear worried. Her eyes bounced from Cash to me, and as if piecing something together, she shrugged.

“The asshole’s in love with her,” she exclaimed with a little humorless laugh.

What? Who loved who? I was the only one surprised to hear it. My two Hunters dropped their eyes, not the least bit shocked by the admission. Wait a fucking second…

Was I the only one who hadn’t pieced that together?

I looked at Cash for confirmation. He shrugged like it wasn’t a secret. What the shit?! Why am I the last one to know? He loved me? Why? Was I this oblivious? Like me enough to kiss me, sure, but love? How did any of that make sense?

But I couldn’t ask him questions because Jo went on like she hadn’t dropped another bomb on my life. “Doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. He’s not exactly hiding it. You Hunters are just blinded by your determination to keep her for yourself that you’ve decided he’s done it with motive and not because he cares. But this Dark Fae has been her faithful shadow all this time. I don’t like it, but he did everything he could to protect her from Serine. From herself. He even went after her the second he could. Not really the actions of someone trying to hurt her, is it? Maybe someone who’s obsessed, but who isn’t in this group?”

I was blindsided. Out of everyone, I hadn’t expected Jo to come to his defense. And by the way Cash’s mouth dropped open in surprise, he hadn’t either.

Jo twirled her dagger like always and pushed off the tree after stealing a saucy look at me. “Never thought I’d ever cross paths with a Hand of Death, let alone be forced to defend one, but here we are. Facts are facts. What a fucking joke you boys are. Go ahead and throw your toxic masculinity you’ve masked as protection around all you want, but I say we get a move on the next target. We’re too close now to lose our edge. I’m not going to let your obsession ruin what we’re here to do. If this Hand of Death wants to help us bring down the bastards running the show, then who are we to say no? Not exactly smart to turn down powerful allies right now, is it?”

My mouth opened, but Jo winked at me and disappeared. I hadn’t figured that woman out at all since meeting her. She continued to be a mystery anytime she talked. It wasn’t even the sexy kisses and touches; she’d been hot and cold but always on point. She never lost sight of her goal, and I was a little ashamed that I couldn’t say the same.

I peeked at Sloan. His eyes caught mine before he came over. “I promise I won’t attack, but I’d like to have a word with V if I could.”

Cash still had his arms around me, but he let me go. “If you must.”

What a fucking mess.

Phillip propped himself up on the tree I’d pinned him to, crossed his arms, and watched us without uttering another word. Sloan leveled a serious look on me before his lips twitched. He opened his arms, waiting. Emotion crowded my throat. Without another moment of hesitation, I walked into his awaiting embrace, and the gorgeous Brit hugged me close before sighing in obvious relief.

“I’ve missed you, darling.”

I pressed my face into his chest, home again. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“Be honest with me,” he finally murmured, causing my eyes to stray up to his. “Why do you think you can trust him after all he’s done?”

I opened and closed my mouth, not sure how to answer. His eyes danced around my face, and like always, he waited patiently. I glanced at Cash who pretended to be incredibly focused on his nail polish, but his jaw was rigid. And when his eyes stole a sneaky glance my direction before quickly returning to his hand, I finally figured out what to say.

“Who he was before isn’t who he is now.”

The beautiful man I’d missed every day since he’d left stayed silent for a moment, then he squeezed me close. He didn’t say anything else, just held me for a long beat.

I’d missed his heat. I couldn’t help but push into it. I couldn’t fathom how I could feel so strongly for so many people but in entirely different ways. I couldn’t compare the feelings. What I felt here in Sloan’s arms differed from how I felt in Cash, Jo, or Phillip’s. And I sunk into it, reveling in a quiet moment where I was embraced and no one said a word.

No one moved.

But it was over too quick for my liking. Reality came crashing back in when Sloan pulled away. His hands glided down my arms before his touch was gone, and it took all my strength not to chase after him.

I’d missed him so much, and it wasn’t enough. I wanted to kiss him, touch him, breathe him in for as long as it took to make up for the weeks we’d been apart. I was afraid that I might not feel his touch again after this; that the bomb I’d set off in my relationships by sticking with Cash wasn’t one we’d recover from. Was everything a mistake? Would I always regret this moment?

My throat hurt, but I swallowed and lifted my chin, eyes burning, terrified I’d cry. That wouldn’t be fair to either of them. I’d made my choice, and I refused to manipulate them with tears. Instead, I’d show them I wasn’t wrong for trusting Cash. My gut told me this was what I needed to do, and even if it took a while, I’d make them see it.

Sloan glanced at Phillip from over his shoulder. “Let’s leave this issue for now, love. I need to speak with you,” he murmured, smiling in an uncomfortably sad way.

That look of his made me anxious. “What’s going on?”

Shaking his head, Sloan guided me into a walk, bypassing Cash with a steely glare. “Not here, love.”

We made it back to camp, but Phillip hadn’t said a word to me. His silence was deafening. But then again, so was Sloan’s. They were so sure I’d fallen under some spell Cash cast, but whatever made them drop the subject to return to camp still haunted the air between us.

Sloan kept close to me. Whatever disappointment or anger he felt, it wasn’t enough to stop him from touching me. His hand found mine when we closed in on camp, and it hadn’t let go since.

And I’d never been so damn relieved.

I’d expected Sloan to ignore me the same way Phillip was, but I should’ve known he never would. He wasn’t the type. He’d try to understand, but at the very least, he’d listen before reacting. He wasn’t a stubborn bastard like my pierced mentor became in a fight. I’d forgotten how dissimilar they were in a crisis, but I was so glad they were. I couldn’t take it if they both pushed me away.

Phillip was still visibly angry, but he knew something I didn’t—and the asshole wasn’t talking. He barely looked at me, which really wasn’t like him when he was pissed off. If anything, he’d stare a little too much when he wanted to punish me for something I did. So, I already got the sensation that something was off.

Jo was already at camp when we arrived. She didn’t come over. She stayed in place and watched me from where she was leaned up against a tree. And while I still couldn’t read the woman, she seemed agitated. Her gaze was glued to me. It was as if she was waiting for something to happen, and I grew more anxious by the second.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed answers. “What happened? Is Theo dead? Where’s Nigel?”

Sloan brushed a hand through his hair, the muscles all over his body pulled tight. “Things…didn’t go as planned, darling. Theo managed to escape with his life, but he and his faithful few fled. Nigel went after them.”

“By himself?” My stomach dropped.

Sloan shook his head, upset by the thought. “Yes. He didn’t mention a word of it to me before he was gone. All he left was a note. He said Theo would disappear if he didn’t go, and only he could.” Sloan retrieved a little piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. “I think you should read it. It wasn’t written to me. It…”

I snatched the paper and read through it as fast as I could. I would recognize his handwriting anywhere. Nigel wrote so beautifully that it was something I’d admired about him since I started crushing on him in high school. I’d studied his notes, desperate to hold onto pieces while pining for a person I couldn’t have. His handwriting always held a special place inside my heart.

I have to go. He’ll disappear if I don’t, and only I can do this. It’s too risky with the Hunter. I’ve made so many mistakes. I’ve been someone I can’t be proud of anymore, so I want to come back and show that you didn’t give me a second chance for no reason. I’m going to do something for you this time. I’m going to be the person you always believed I was.

This is all I can do for you, and I hope it’ll be enough. I hope you’ll welcome me back like you did before. I hope this will prove I’ve got your back. Just wait. I’ll show you that you didn’t make a mistake forgiving me. I’ll be the Nigel I always was to you before I fucked it all up, and I’ll be the friend that didn’t betray you. Just wait for me.

-Forever yours, Nigel

Tears bit at my eyes as I read it over and over, sensing the sudden change in Sloan when I lifted my gaze. His solemn expression wasn’t normal. It was off. Darker than it’d ever been. The way he looked at me carried more meaning than someone who was sad that my friend was off doing something dangerous. It felt like he wasn’t telling me something, and it made my stomach twist in knots.

Phillip finally looked at me, his lips thin and his body taut. His brow was furrowed, and the second our eyes met, his blue beams dropped. I knew that look. Fuck, there wasn’t any way I could pretend I didn’t.

Something bad had happened.

I stared at Sloan, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the bad fucking news. I could feel it in my bones that something was wrong, and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I just closed my eyes and hoped I read their expressions wrong.

“He found them in the outer territory and fought all ten of them by himself. He killed them all. Theo was maimed and in pieces, but…” Sloan whispered, his ice-blue eyes full of regret when I opened mine. “He’s dead, V. His injuries were too significant, and he was gone before I could get to him.”

I dropped to my knees, crumbling into a mess of limbs, the strength leaving my body in a rush. Tears streamed down my face, and for once, every person in that group came together to comfort me. Every single one put aside their hatred and disgust for each other to hold me and let me cry for the friend I’d lost.