Page 27
Chapter 27
Yours to Command
T ime was frozen again, but unlike the last few times, it wasn’t because of me.
I entered the cleared space surrounded by trees and found Cash’s tantalizing figure cast entirely in moonlight. His hair seemed to adopt the same glow as the bright white moon in the night sky. His purple cat eyes shot over to me the second I entered his magical barrier. It was an electric sensation, but the feeling of his magic was oddly comforting—like a warm, welcoming embrace. In his hand was another one of his cute river rocks, but this one looked more gem than rock the closer I got.
I eyed the vibrating stone with an inquisitive eyebrow and sassy smirk. “Is all of this really necessary?”
His lips twitched. “It is. Harmony isn’t someone you should ever underestimate, love.”
“Fair enough.” I stopped a few feet short of him.
Cash seemed unnaturally conflicted for a moment, but then he took a step closer. “V, Big said that when he dusted you, you thought of me. Is that true?”
It took me a second to figure out what he meant. “Oh, dusted…Goth Tinkerbell Dude…right.” I hesitated before answering, “Yes. I’m not sure why that’s important, but I figured you’d be—”
“Safe,” he finished before I could.
For some reason, the word brought heat to my cheeks, and I turned my head to keep my red face from giving me away. “Yeah, I guess. But what does that have to do with anything?”
Suddenly, there wasn’t any space left between us. Cash was bent over me, his heat radiating off mine. His hands eclipsed my face, bringing our eyes together in an instant. “You might not understand its significance, love, but I do. It means more than you could ever know.”
When his thumbs brushed across my cheeks, my heart couldn’t figure out a rhythm. My face was on fire.
Why was this man so damn pretty all of the sudden? Wait, is he…sparkling? My eyes did a confused sweep. Oh. My. God. He’s fucking sparkling. Was that normal? Did people just sparkle out of nowhere? Looking around, it was almost like I’d stepped into one of my K-Dramas. He was a-glitter, and I wasn’t sure if my eyes were having issues, or if he’d used magic to put his body on some weird sparkle filter.
More importantly, why was I just standing here like a dumb asshole who’d never seen a hot guy in my life? I’d been in this position plenty of times before. Pretty dudes coming out of my ears some might argue. But with him it was weirdly new. Foreign. Forbidden. I wasn’t supposed to be here with him like this.
Not sober, anyway.
I should’ve pushed Cash away, but I was frozen to the spot. I waited with bated breath wondering if he’d kiss me again. Like, really kiss me. I wasn’t fighting back. I hadn’t moved my body in seconds. And as a supernatural badass, that was basically hours.
Did I want him to kiss me? Oh fuck, I did. Was I really this stupid? Could I actually be interested in the guy who’s shrill cry of indignation accompanied every single day I spent with him?
What the fuck am I doing right now?
“V,” he whispered, almost as if the mere mention of my name released tension in his body. His gorgeous eyes shut, and a breath escaped his mouth, the tension in his body gone. Then his mesmerizing irises beamed their purple iridescence my direction again. “I might never deserve your trust, but I can promise that you’ll always have mine. Which is why what I’m about to give you is something that no one…” His piercing eyes stayed with mine, making the seconds of silence feel excruciatingly slow as he took another breath and then continued, “And I mean no one has ever been freely given by me.”
My eyes strayed to his lips before I managed to rein in the treacherous things. “Ah, okay,” I muttered lamely. “And what’s that, exactly?”
His thumb swept across my bottom lip. It was hardly a touch at all, but it was electrifying. I barely kept myself from shivering. Nothing with Sloan, Phillip, or Jo prepared me for Cash. I was navigating new waters…yet again.
Hope I don’t drown.
Cash’s mouth tilted. “First, I need you to know a few things. I was as bad as Big said. The realm calls magic types like myself Hands of Death. Death is where I find the greatest strength, and for a very long time, I used it without care of who it hurt. Harmony exploited that with her pheromones. She made me her pet, the bloody hag.”
Not sure what I expected, but that wasn’t it. “You were one of her pets?”
“Her favorite for a long time, yes. Centuries, in fact. She stole my magic and made it impossible for me to escape. I digress, at one stage, I gave up trying to free myself for a time because complying was less painful.”
Less painful? Holy shit.
I opened and closed my mouth. “You said she stole your magic, but how?”
“Yes. That’s one of her most volatile abilities. She can lock anyone’s power into an item. And when I say anyone, love, I mean anyone. Ancient Fae included. Her pheromones, it's impossible to repel them. Many have tried and none succeeded. Yet, anyway.”
The last statement felt significant, but he carried on as if it wasn’t.
“The thing is, I have a similar ability. It’s why Eros saw fit to use me. I can create enchanted items with the power I steal from the dead. But unlike her, it can be used. And as you personally witnessed, I can do much more than that. It was the very reason Fae kind are so afraid of Hands of Death. The magic we wield is strengthened by death, made powerful through pain and destruction, and while I’m not proud of it, I spent centuries using it to do whatever benefitted me most. Perhaps humans would call what I did as something closely aligning with a pirate. I rarely did anything without a personal agenda.”
Cash, a pirate? Did he plunder and travel the Fae seas? Hilarious. It weirdly fit him.
I knew his past wasn’t shiny and bright—far from it—but it was hard to hear Cash had been a villain like Phillip always said he was. How many lives had he stolen? How many people had he hurt to serve his purposes? But I couldn’t ask because what I did as a Hunter wasn’t any better.
My family had been a part of the Organization, no matter how much we wished we hadn’t, and I couldn’t argue that our hands were clean. Hell, I was the product of human experimentation, so I fucking knew these hands of mine weren’t clean. Who knew what countless acts Grams and my parents had committed in the name of being a Hunter. How many humans and supernatural kind were harmed or even killed under the guise of a mission with a nefarious agenda? I didn’t have the moral high ground here, but I was actively seeking to right the wrongs, and maybe that was the reason his admission gave me pause.
He didn’t need to tell me, but he did. He could’ve kept it to himself and pretended otherwise, but he didn’t. The man in front of me wasn’t the pirate he’d been in the past, and that had to count for something. His support might’ve been born from self-serving reasons, but even I could see that wasn’t the case anymore. If I didn’t give him a chance to show me that he wasn’t the man he’d once been, I’d be a goddamn hypocrite.
Maybe it was wishful thinking because he’d etched his name on my heart, but I wanted to believe that Cash had changed; that he was here to do what we all were doing—punishing the true villains behind countless acts of violence.
Cash sighed, catching my attention again. “That old slag knew that if I’d been given the chance to use my power, I’d gain my freedom. She’s frustratingly clever, so she locked it away before I could. That amulet I recovered from Fredrick was where she’d stored most of my magic, and it’s why I can now do more than I ever could. That’s why Phillip was never aware I had such a power, and it’s why the she-devil looks at me the way she does now. She’s also just as terrifyingly astute as Harmony is.”
Jo knew? That would explain why she was wary around Cash since we’d returned. She saw his magic when we fought Serine and her cloaked dead, and based purely on what I knew about her, she’d figured out he was a Hand of Death. I’d seen how quickly she put things together—faster than Sloan or Phillip—so I wasn’t the least bit surprised.
But why hadn’t she said anything?
Cash’s words put me on edge, and I caught myself looking back the direction Phillip and Jo were. Would they be safe now that his powers had returned? Was I stupid for trusting him despite knowing his past? Would this be a mistake I made that got someone I cared about killed? Another betrayal that would live in my head for the rest of my life?
As if he’d read my mind, Cash took gentle hold of my jaw and turned my head back towards his. “You’re my clever little darling, so of course this has made you wonder ‘Can I trust him?’ but that’s why it’s important you hear me out. Remember when I said you’ll get something I’ve never freely given anyone else? I meant that, love. I’m not asking you to take me at my word, but these powers I recovered, their yours. I’ve only ever used them for myself, but…if you permit me to, you’ll be the first person I choose to commit all this power to. Let me be your shield and sword.”
My eyes widened.
The words I’d once vowed in my head to Phillip spilled from the Dark Fae’s mouth. It struck me stupid for a second. I couldn’t fathom how I’d one day have the same words said to me, or that the person saying them would be someone as impossible as a Dark Fae I kept by my side out of necessity. But probably most surprising was how happy it made me. I had trouble keeping the overwhelming feeling to myself. It was a struggle not to smile.
Cash sucked in a breath, his gaze firm and set. “I am yours to command, V.”
He’d never looked as determined as he did now. Like he was proposing. Fuck…was this a proposal? What the hell did I’m yours to command even mean?
I didn’t think I’d find my voice, but when I did, I asked, “Why would you do that for me, Cash?”
For the first time in what felt forever, the Dark Fae laughed. “I thought it was clear, but perhaps I’ve been too vague.”
Still not following, I licked my lips. His eyes followed my tongue, his pupils blowing out and nearly devouring all the purple. Another shockwave of sensation slithered down my spine. The Dark Fae looked like a wild animal. The way his eyes traced my lips, neck, and the subtle curve of my body gave my heart a little start.
“I—”
His mouth came down hard on mine, cutting me off. It was a terribly soft but hungry kiss. It made it impossible to think, let alone speak. His lips moved greedily over mine for heartbeats, nipping, tasting, sucking. Never slow. Never cautious. Desperately wanting.
When I returned his kiss, his tongue pushed its way into my mouth and smothered the gasp leaving my throat. I anchored myself to the fabric cloak he’d fashioned like a jacket. I didn’t push him away like my head told me to. I pressed into the kiss. I indulged in the sensation of his sinfully soft mouth devouring mine.
Holy shit was this recovering villain a good kisser. Talk about looking one way and kissing another. I was ensnared, and I couldn’t even find the energy to complain about it. It was that good. Addictive even, as annoying as that was. I couldn’t tease him about being a bad kisser. If anything, I was worried about being the bad kisser between us.
Before I could really put my all into the kiss—I’d hate if he thought I didn’t have any skills—he moved away and waited for his punishment. But all I could do was stare. And the smile he gave me when I didn’t immediately beat him senseless for the stolen kiss made the place between my thighs throb treacherously.
Fuck, that kiss was trouble. A big fucking problem. Maybe the worst thing that could be happening right now. What do I do now? How would I think of anything else? Now that I’d experienced how good he was at kissing, I was doomed. I needed more. I wanted to know what else he was good at.
I was already indecently wet between my legs, and the asshole had only kissed me for heartbeats. Maybe a minute. How long were our mouths touching? It didn’t feel like enough. I needed more, and I should feel guilty, ashamed, impulsive, stupid, but I didn’t.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Cash’s eyes darted off to the left, then his devastating smile was gone. “Darling, I can get to her in a way they can’t. I’m asking you to trust me. We don’t have time to wait. She’ll be gone before the first rays of light. So I need you to come with me and end this tonight. I’ve waited all this time to take my revenge, and I won’t let her slip away before I can. So, do you trust me to be by your side no matter what happens?”
“What do you mean she’ll be gone?”
“Magnus didn’t return to her. She’ll act fast. She’ll know there’s a chance someone might find her. I…can sense her unease,” he whispered to my continued confusion.
“Sense her unease?”
“Being what I was, the blood I shared with her left a sort of stain on my body. A faint connection of sorts. Whenever I’m close enough, I can sense her emotions. I’ve evaded her for years thanks to that connection, but that’s also why she doesn’t trust anyone but her favorites with her blood. And it’s why if they betray her, they die. She can’t possibly risk another me being out there somewhere, now can she, love?.”
That last little bit seemed to give him the most joy.
“You could say that she’s particularly weak to the thought of tying herself indefinitely with the ones she adores. Albeit through forcible torture and confinement…and compulsory physicality, but she’s someone who vies for the same things you humans do. Love.”
“That’s not love. That’s vile,” I hissed. “You’re saying that she…hurt you? Forced you? Tortured you? What, until you did what she wanted? Until she convinced herself what you shared was love? That’s…”
Nodding, Cash brushed a hand through his hair like it didn’t bother him, but it had to. I wasn’t an authority on PTSD or trauma coping, but stuff like that people just didn’t get over , supernatural or not. It marked them.
While the Dark Fae played his part well enough, he touched me as if he was worried I’d disappear if he didn’t. Like I was the anchor keeping him from drowning in the nightmare she’d created all those years ago. My heart ached watching him act as if it was ancient history when his haunted eyes suggested otherwise.
“Nothing I do to her will come close to what I endured for centuries under her so-called love, but I’ll take whatever revenge I can get. And I won’t let her slip through my fingers this time. Not when I’ve dreamt of this moment since I escaped all those years ago.”
I couldn’t hide my disgust. The thought that Cash had been forced to be someone’s plaything sat in my stomach like lead. Yet, he’d vowed to let me use him. Why? How could he give me that sort of power after it’d been used to exploit him so horribly? My stomach twisted, and the subtle hum of power in my core scorched the floor at our feet.
He noticed it and came closer, touching my face. “You needn’t let it bother you, my dove. It was a long time ago, and the things I did before I was captured some would argue earned me that sort of punishment. My hands aren’t clean. What is it your humankind likes to say? Oh, yes. That’s called karma.”
A little laugh slipped out before I pulled a Cash and landed a hand on my hip. “Why would you give me power over you after she—”
“Because I know you won’t misuse it, or am I wrong to think so?”
His trust in me made it impossible to speak at first. I couldn’t name the feeling, but it was the first time anyone put so much trust in me. Even Sloan and Phillip didn’t trust me like that. So, why did Cash? How could someone who’d spent centuries enslaved to a witch put their full faith in me after only months together? Did I even deserve that kind of unwavering conviction?
What I did know was that Cash trusted me not only with his past, but with everything that made him vulnerable now. And it was just another reason I knew I was in trouble. Because I couldn’t hate him anymore. Might even like him. I’d never felt anything like this. It was different from the relationships I had with Phillip, Sloan, and Jo. It was both terrifying and comforting. New but weirdly familiar.
It felt right to be with him.
What could I even call this feeling blooming inside my chest when Cash vowed himself to me in every way he could without expecting anything in return? How did a girl even respond to something like that?
“I know we didn’t met under the best circumstances…” I started, finally finding my voice.
“Which was entirely my fault, love. You had every reason to be wary and upset. I ran when I should’ve explained myself, and I regret it. I regret that I was there when your parents were murdered in cold blood. Nothing I say will make up for how much of a coward I’ve been in the past, but give me this chance and I’ll earn my place beside you.”
I couldn’t keep up with how goddamn endearing and compassionate the normally whiny Dark Fae was being. If I hadn’t known better, I’d think it wasn’t actually him. But his smell, the way his magic felt wrapped around me, the feel of his skin as my hands skimmed the length of his naked arms, were all reasons I could confidently say this was my Fae Karen.
“The thing is, I do trust you, but the last time we did this without the other two, I nearly—”
“You’re right,” he said to my surprise. “But she’d use them to hurt you. Her pheromones are too powerful. She can turn the ones you love against you, and I care too much for you to watch you suffer like that.”
I hadn’t considered that possibility. And he wasn’t wrong. It would tear me apart to fight them. Even just the thought of it made me physically ill.
“It’s that face, darling. I can’t stomach seeing it. While they can’t resist her pheromones, I can. Believe me when I say that I will protect you from her power. And they wouldn’t understand. They’ll try to stop us. They’ll argue I can’t be trusted. Only you can decide what happens here tonight. I’m yours to command, but that’s why I’m begging you to put your faith in me, V. If we wait, she’ll be gone. Not just for revenge, but she’s a powerful ally to the man out to kill you. I can’t let her go, not when her very existence puts yours at risk.”
I wanted to argue, but I couldn’t. Phillip wouldn’t understand. Jo wouldn’t either from what I knew about the assassin. They’d tell me he had nefarious intentions. I’d trusted my gut up to this point, and it was telling me to go with him; to trust Cash when no one else would.
“She uses pheromones? How are you immune?”
The arrogant smirk I’d grown obnoxiously fond of appeared on Cash’s face. Holding up the necklace he’d shown me once before, it clinked and bounced directly in my eyeline. “The same way I’ve repelled any you might’ve unintentionally released, love. I designed it myself and counteracted the power of pheromones. Sort of like an antidote. It took me decades to figure out.”
I’d nearly forgotten about how I could possibly enslave others with pheromones. You know, being an Ancient Fae hybrid. The uncomfortable squeeze on my stomach was back, but I ignored it. It didn’t help anything to worry about that now. I didn’t have time to question my entire existence, not with Harmony ready to ditch her hideout and disappear again. I’d deal with that spiral another day.
“And you’re sure it’ll work? Have you been around her since…you know, you got away?”
He removed another necklace that looked similar to his but was the color of my eyes. Still smirking, he fitted it around my neck. I looked down at it in confusion.
“Confident.” I stiffened when his forehead met mine. “Will you come with me? Will you give me a chance to prove I’m yours to command, love?”
I might regret trusting him, but everything in my head and heart was screaming that I should. “Okay, asshole. I don’t like it, but if what you’ve said is true, it’s up to us to do this.”