Page 39 of Unyielding (Poplar Springs #3)

THIRTY-NINE

SHANNON

Z oe, Fiona, and I were gathered in the kitchen, checking out the photos from Zoe’s engagement party and downing a few bottles of wine.

Usually, the room would’ve been alive with laughter, but my glum mood seemed to be impacting the others.

Zoe and Fiona did their best to try to keep the mood light, though, and after two glasses, the wine started to take the edge off.

“Did you see how ridiculously cute you and Eli look in this photo?”

Zoe slid her laptop around on the kitchen table so Fiona and I could look at the picture. She and Eli were holding hands and had their heads back and eyes closed, singing something at the top of their lungs.

“Whoa, I guess we were pretty drunk by then. Eli usually doesn’t get that showy in public.” Fiona laughed. “Me, on the other hand…”

Zoe chuckled.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” I said, rolling my eyes. “My back was sore for two days after all that twerking.”

“Can I see the rest of them?” Fiona asked, pulling the laptop closer before Zoe even answered her.

“Make it quick, please,” Zoe said, looking at the stack of papers in front of her. “I still need to upload them to our site.”

“It’s so cool you built your own wedding website instead of using one of those plug-and-play sites,” I said, leaning over so I could look over my sister’s shoulder as she flipped through the slide show. “The photographer you hired did an amazing job.”

“I would’ve done it myself, but I was a little busy hosting.”

“Aw, look how pretty you look in this shot, Shan,” Fiona said as she pointed at the screen. “You need to let me do your hair and makeup more often.”

It was a close-up image of me smiling off into the distance. With the party lighting and hazy backdrop, it was a dreamy shot.

“She looked amazing, but your sister is a natural beauty. She doesn’t need all that extra floofy stuff.” Zoe paused and looked at the screen. “Although you did look pretty hot that night.”

I stared at the photo on the screen and had to admit that I really had been glowing. The makeover had helped, but I knew the real reason was because Declan had been there that night too, looking at me in a way that lit me up inside.

I’d been glowing for him.

The realization triggered a fresh rush of pain in my chest, so I pushed the laptop away without a word.

“Well, Shannon doesn’t have a choice about getting gussied up on your wedding day,” Fiona huffed. “Everyone in the wedding party is getting the professional treatment, right, Zo?”

“I mean,” Zoe said, glancing between Fiona and me as if she sensed a fight brewing, “I’m not going to force it on anyone, but yes, I hired a couple of girls to be our glam squad for the day.

And they both know how to tailor what they do to each person, so they won’t make you feel spackled or anything, Shannon, I swear. ”

“Whatever,” I said quietly as I cradled my chin in my hand. “Don’t forget that I don’t need that plus-one after all. Make sure to update your spreadsheet.”

“I hate that. It sucks.” Zoe reached across the table and clasped my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. “You holding up okay?”

I nodded. “Yup. It’s the story of my life. I should be used to it by now.”

“Excuse me?” Fiona asked, giving me an incredulous look. “What do you mean by that?”

I tsked at her. “Come on, it’s not like I ever had a line of guys outside my door like you. I’m not the dateable type. I’m too…”

“Confident? Badass? Successful?” Zoe offered, and I ducked my head shyly.

“You’re also delusional,” Fiona said accusingly. “What the hell do you mean about not being dateable?”

“Guys go for women like you and—” I stopped myself from invoking Becca’s name. “Girls that… aren’t me.”

“Um, think again, dummy,” Fiona said, sounding every bit the bratty little sister. “The problem isn’t that guys don’t like you, it’s that you act like you don’t have any interest in them! You put out this vibe that you don’t want to date anyone.”

“No way. You’re wrong,” I answered, shaking my head.

“Did you forget about Aaron Klein?” Zoe asked gently. “That guy was head over heels for you for years.”

“Yeah, and he was also two years behind me and weighed less than a feed bag. He doesn’t count.”

“Well, do you need us to compile a full list of lovesick guys to convince you?” Fiona asked. “Zoe, can you think of anyone in high school that liked her but was too chicken to ask her out?”

“Uh, yeah, like a million. I used to try not to get jealous about it. The entire soccer team had a thing for you.”

I felt color rush to my cheeks, remembering the time they’d opened the windows on the bus as they were leaving for an away game to serenade me.

“No, they didn’t, they were just being goofy.”

“Yeah, and that’s exactly how high school boys with crushes act. Goofy. Silly. Outlandish. Everything short of pulling your hair and sticking your braid in the inkwell.”

“I’m sorry, what year are you living in?” I demanded, and Zoe grinned at me.

“We can’t forget about Clark Jacobs,” Fiona added. “Prom king. I mean, the guy asked you to prom. How much more obvious can it get?”

“We were just friends!” I insisted. “It wasn’t a serious invitation.”

“Yeah, because you laughed at him when he asked you. After that, what choice did he have but to play it off? Way to kill a guy’s ego,” Zoe said.

“Oh, come on, I thought he was kidding around,” I sputtered. “He wasn’t serious, he was supposed to go with someone on the court, like Emma or Kayla.”

“He was serious until you broke his heart,” Fiona said. “After that, you sort of got a reputation for not wanting to date at all. But I know a bunch of guys that still had secret crushes on you all through high school. They used to corner me and ask me questions about you.”

“Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?”

“I didn’t bother saying anything to you because I knew exactly how you’d react.”

“No way…”

Zoe nodded. “I tried to tell you, Shan. You were completely oblivious.”

“And it’s still happening,” Fiona said, flipping through the photos. “Here, look.”

She spun the laptop around again and jabbed her finger at the screen.

It was filled with an image of me dancing with Declan.

We were in profile, with the background of glittery lights hazy behind us.

I was gazing up at him with a coquettishly tilted head and mischievous close-mouthed smile, like I was trying to hold back a full grin.

But Declan… the way he was looking at me took my breath away.

He was locked onto me like there was no one else in the room but the two of us.

He looked enchanted by me and absolutely lost in my eyes.

“Um…” I said, then trailed off, unable to look away from what was so obvious on the screen in front of me.

“Yeah, um is right!” Fiona huffed. “And there’s more.” She dragged the laptop back and smacked the arrow key quickly. “Look.”

I scrolled to a series of us dancing and felt a little embarrassed at how…

sexy we looked. In one, I was pressed up against Declan, gazing up at him like I wanted to devour him.

Another shot from behind me showed Declan’s big hands on me, one resting on my shoulder and the other dangerously close to my ass.

The way we were captured made it hard to tell if we were kissing or talking.

Anyone looking at the photos would assume we were a couple.

At that point, we weren’t. And now we weren’t once again.

I bit the inside of my lip to keep from welling up. No matter how I tried to ignore it, I missed him.

“Hey,” Fiona said, grasping my shoulder. “Talk. You always force me to do it when I don’t want to. Now it’s your turn.”

“What’s left to say?” It exploded out of me more angrily than I’d intended. I took a breath. “Declan and I had a good thing for a little while, then he made a choice, a few choices, and none of them were me.”

Admitting it out loud made me feel seasick.

“What choices?” Zoe asked. She didn’t know the details of the break up—I hadn’t wanted to talk about it and it wasn’t as if she hung around at the cattlemen’s meetings.

“His job, and… Becca.” I glanced at Zoe and saw the telltale grimace when I said Becca’s name.

“It’s stupid because my rational side knows that he needed to work hard to win over Dr. Wilcox so she’d sell him her practice, but sometimes it felt like it was all he cared about.

Even more than me. And when he told Becca about Sunshine…

well, that made it clear to me that he wasn’t on my side. ”

“Wait. Are you talking about the same Becca we ran into at the supply store?” my sister asked and I nodded. “Whoa, she was a real bitch.”

“Shan…” Zoe began tentatively, interrupting Fiona’s fuming.

“I understand why you’d be upset about what happened with Becca, but did you ever stop to think that maybe it was a verbal fumble?

We both know he would never purposely set out to hurt you and we all know that Becca talks a good story.

Maybe it was just a slip-up? A bad one, definitely, but it wasn’t an act of sabotage or anything. ”

“Did he apologize?” Fiona asked.

I nodded. “A few times.”

“See?” Zoe said. “And as for him choosing work over you, have you ever considered that maybe it wasn’t over you, it was for you?”

I frowned. “How?”

“Everyone knows that Dr. Wilcox is a tough old chick who’s been around forever,” Zoe said.

“I can’t even imagine the pressure Declan must’ve been under to impress her.

But if he managed to do it and bought her out of her practice, that would’ve secured his place here in Poplar Springs.

And then he could’ve stayed here… with you .

To start a real future together.” She paused to let her words sink in.

“Oh no,” I whispered as the realization flooded me. “He did it for me, for us , and I pushed him away. I’m the absolute worst.”

“No, you’re not!” Zoe and Fiona answered in unison.

I stared glumly at the photo on the laptop screen, a romance novel cover-worthy shot of Declan dipping me backward and me laughing.

I could fix it.

Or at least I could try.

The idea slammed into me. I was partially to blame for Declan losing the practice.

If I hadn’t let Becca taunt me into a confrontation at the cattlemen’s meeting, no one would’ve known about Declan’s mistake.

So if I was going to take some of the responsibility, maybe I could also find a way to be the reason why things turned around for him?

“Would it be crazy to try to make it right?” I asked.

Zoe finally relaxed with a smile. “I think it would be crazy if you didn’t. How can we help?”