Page 35 of Unyielding (Poplar Springs #3)

THIRTY-FIVE

DECLAN

I ’d screwed up.

I drove to Shannon’s in a haze after the meeting. From the way she left, I knew she didn’t want to talk to me, but I needed to explain my side of what had happened.

Walter’s words echoed in my head. “Trust matters most around here. And once it’s lost, it’s damn hard to win back.”

It had taken me a few minutes to sort out what Walter meant, but when it all finally clicked into place, I felt sick.

I’d done my best to reassure them that I wasn’t the type of person to share ranch secrets, and that I certainly hadn’t intended to help Becca undercut Shannon, but by the time I left, I still couldn’t tell if I’d been successful.

This was the exact sort of thing that Ruth had warned me about and I’d walked right into it.

I needed to tell Shannon my side of the story.

I realized that I probably should’ve reached out to Shannon before driving over, but I didn’t want to risk her screening my call, or worse yet, picking up and telling me not to come.

I needed to see her face, to apologize in person for my mistake.

Because that’s all it was, and once she realized that I would never undermine her, she’d have to get past it.

Right? I hoped so, but from the look on her face when she was leaving, it was clear that she was furious. And beneath that, she was hurting.

I came to a stop in the driveway and saw Josh walking toward the house. I could only imagine what Josh thought of me, but I wasn’t about to walk away from the messy conversation. I climbed out of my truck and nodded at him.

“Hey there, Dec. Did you hear the good news about Sunshine from Shannon? She made her pitch to me this morning, and I said yes.”

Josh didn’t know what had happened yet. I cringed but kept my face neutral. “I, uh, I’m hoping to catch up with her now. Do you know where she is?”

“Tack room, I think. I heard her coming in from a ride.”

It was unlike Shannon to ride so early in the day, which meant that she was really upset. I couldn’t blame her.

“Hey, congrats.” Josh said as he crested the porch. “You actually had your own slide in her presentation. She gave you a lot of credit for the changes, and I’m guessing you’re the reason she was open to trying AI.”

It was a punch to my gut. I’d really fucked up this time.

“Okay, gonna head down there now. See ya later.”

I rehearsed what I was going to say to Shannon, my stomach twisting as I hoped she’d understand. When I peered into the tack room, her back was toward me, so I took a few seconds to collect myself before clearing my throat.

She jumped and turned quickly. Her eyes narrowed when she saw it was me.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” Shannon turned around and went back to reorganizing the saddles, which looked to me like busywork. “You should leave.”

“Just give me a minute to explain what happened. It’s not what you think.”

She faced me with venom in her eyes. “Fine. Explain.”

I walked in and closed the door behind me. I didn’t want any interruptions, or—if she started yelling—any witnesses.

“I know you’re upset about what happened with Becca and Sunshine. Trust me, I am too. I never imagined she’d go buy her. She doesn’t work with warmbloods.”

“Then why did you tell her?” Shannon asked. Her face looked blotchy. I knew that she’d been crying—and that it was my fault.

I sighed. “It was the end of my appointment with her, and she kept pinging me with questions about you, and about us, and I was tired. She wore me down, and I figured if she needed a little gossip, telling her about you buying the horse was no big deal. Sunshine wasn’t the kind of horse she’d ever have any reason to buy.

Plus, you told me that the sale was as good as done.

I figured it was better to mention that than some of the other big stuff you’ve been up to, you know? ”

Shannon didn’t say anything.

“I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She sniffled loudly and I could tell that she was fighting hard to keep from crying again in front of me.

“You do realize that everything that I’ve been working toward involved that mare, right?”

I nodded and bowed my head.

“And that because of you and Becca, everything is blown to bits.”

“Yeah, and I feel awful about it. But I was thinking that with my connections I could help you?—”

“Stop.” She held up her hand to silence me.

“You knew that Becca and I didn’t get along.

I told you how she treated me in school and that it’d continued ever since, and you still told her about Sunshine.

Of all of the people you could’ve told, you told her .

The one person in the whole county who’d go out of her way to screw me over.

And you gave her the tools to do exactly that.

Sunshine was the key to growing my business.

Everything I’d planned was tied to that particular horse.

What am I supposed to do now? Because starting over to find another mare isn’t really an option right now. ”

Her pained voice echoed in the room.

“Look, I fucked myself by telling her about it too. At this point none of the ranchers trust me. Thanks to what you told them, they think I can’t keep secrets.”

“Oh, hold on there, Declan. Walter and some of the others overheard Becca bragging about the purchase. She threw all the credit on you for telling her, and when Walter asked for confirmation, what was I supposed to do? Lie? And now, you think I need to be sad for you ? Because I confirmed what he heard Becca just say? Oh no, no, no. You need to rethink that, Declan. If you’re in trouble, it’s because of what you did , not what I said. ”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal, okay?” I finally exploded. “You said the deal was as good as done and that Harmony Hill knew you were going to buy Sunshine! Maybe you should direct your anger at them for going back on your verbal agreement?”

“Don’t try to get out of it, Declan. It would have been a done deal if you hadn’t told Becca and her deep pockets!

She told me she made them a cash offer over the asking price.

I can’t compete with that!” she shot back at me.

“To make it worse, that was the night you basically stood me up to go be with her.”

“I was working ,” I exclaimed. “Shit, Shannon, I thought we were past this!”

The room went quiet while we each tried to look everywhere but at one another, until I couldn’t take it.

“I wasn’t going to leave you high and dry after what had happened,” I said quietly. “That’s part of the reason why I came here. To apologize, and tell you that I can help you find a comparable mare.”

Shannon shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you?

I don’t want a ‘comparable mare,’ I wanted Sunshine.

And thanks to you, that’s not an option.

” She seemed to get caught up in her anger and frustration again, her face twisting through a mix of emotions.

“You know, now that I think of it, maybe Walter and all of them are right. Maybe Lost Valley Ranch needs to reconsider backing you as well.”

I was speechless. She could’ve slapped me, and it would’ve been less painful. Considering how well-respected the Cafferty family was around town, pulling the ranch’s support would kill my chances of being able to stay. As threats went, it was just about the lowest thing she could do.

Even Shannon seemed to realize she’d gone too far. “I shouldn’t have said that. I take it back.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” I said quietly, striding a few steps closer. “That’s pretty fucking low, Shannon. I’m over here apologizing and offering a solution, and you come at me with a threat?”

She bristled at the accusation in my tone, any hint of apology dropping out of her expression. “You know what?” Shannon said. “This is pointless.”

I glanced at her to try to decipher what she meant. Was the fighting pointless, or did she mean something else? I didn’t answer.

“We can’t communicate,” she continued. “We fight. Our schedules don’t match. Our priorities are definitely not in line.”

Suddenly I understood exactly what she was getting at.

At first, there was just the shock of pain at the idea of things ending between us.

But then anger surged up to take its place.

If this was going to be her attitude, then fine.

I wasn’t going to fight for a relationship that she’d clearly given up on already.

“Yup, you’re right. This isn’t working. We aren’t working.

That’s what you’re trying to say, isn’t it? ”

She nodded.

“So maybe we need to go our separate ways. Maybe that’s what’s best for both of us.”

“Yeah, it probably is.”

She sounded defeated, which took some of the wind out of my sails. I’d never heard her sound like that before.

“Okay, then,” I said in a steady voice. “I guess there’s not much more to say. I said I’m sorry for what happened, and I am.”

“I appreciate it,” Shannon replied, finally glancing at me.

She looked so sad, so diminished by everything she’d been through. Like all of the fight and pluck had gone out of her and all that was left was a shadow of the woman I knew and cared about.

I fought the urge to rush over and sweep her into my arms, to tell her that everything was going to be okay.

But I couldn’t promise her that. Not when I had no idea how this mess could possibly be worked through.

I’d landed myself in this situation because I’d let myself be led by my emotions—my desire for her, my need to please the other ranchers and buy Ruth’s practice so I could be closer to my parents and Shannon.

My frustration with Becca had loosened my tongue at the wrong moment on a night when I’d been in a rush because I’d wanted to be at Shannon’s side.

I’d acted rashly, had let my emotions be my guide, and it had ruined everything. Just as I’d always thought it would.

I’d given in to my feelings, and now there was hell to pay.

“Okay, then. I’m going to head out. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with the practice now, if I even have a chance in hell at this point, but if I do get lucky enough to buy it, know that I’ll do my best for any animal on your property.

Just as I would for any other client. I promise not to let what happened between us impact the quality of my work with you. ”

“I appreciate that,” Shannon said. The anger was gone and all that remained was sadness.

“Okay. Take care.”

I pulled the tack room door open and walked out before I could second guess what I was doing.

As I walked from the barn to my truck, I brooded over the fact that I’d fallen into the Morris family trap.

Just like my parents and sister, I’d ignored common sense and reason and allowed passion to make the decisions for me.

I’d way overstepped, and as the end result, Shannon hated me.

When Ruth found out, my shot at owning her practice would probably be gone too.

I banged on the steering wheel as I pulled out of Lost Valley Ranch.

How could I have made such a huge mistake?

My future had been all mapped out, but I’d let my feelings for Shannon overwhelm everything else.

Maybe my parents could manage being fueled by passion, but the mess my life was currently in was all the proof I needed to never let it happen to me again.