Page 42 of UnWholly Angels (Crestview Cardinals #1)

My fingers ran through the dew on the grass when headlights appeared in my peripheral vision.

My heart palpitated, and I knew why, trying to push it down as always and to be strong for those around me.

I swear the fear I harbored for the situation caused my nerves to always be in a state of fight or flight, and I’d been dissociating more often than not.

On the way here, I hadn’t realized I was sitting at a green light until a series of beeping horns forced my hand.

It was such an out of body experience. The worst part was that I didn’t even know when I came back.

Riley was hesitant about how late it was, but I was sure that he had something tracking me somewhere, rude.

Plus, it was Chloe, he’d never tell me no.

Deep breaths brought rationality back to my mind, and I plastered a fake smile when Chloe crouched, settling in the grass.

Pushing her glasses further up the bridge of her nose in the tell-tale way she did, it was silent before she asked, no demanded. “Spill, Maya…What’s going on.”

I pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs for support, my cheek finding comfort in the soft material of Riley’s hoodie. “Do you want the good or the bad?”

Her shoulders deflated and eyes furrowed in concern “You know me, let’s work through the bad.”

With shaky hands, I handed her a crumpled up note, and she stared at the words.

Her expression remained emotionless as she looked over it.

I never had any intention of showing anybody, but the day I went back into the pool room, I’d noticed a piece of paper on the floor.

The words were barely able to be read from the water that penetrated the ink, but the handwriting was familiar and just as threatening as the man who wrote them.

I’d never know if I was supposed to die that night at the pool, but sometimes, I’d wished my assailant finished the job, then everyone I loved wouldn’t be living in fear.

Rocco wanted to strike up a deal. The note explained that if I went back and signed a contract stating there would be no free use, no drug running, and I would resume my duties of giving the Vitale family an heir to follow in Rocco’s footsteps.

If I vowed no contact with Riley, then he could go about his life, safe from them, and live long enough to see retirement.

She scoffed. “Please tell me you are not seriously considering this?”

I looked out onto the city in front of me with a sad sigh.

The sky was dark against all of the illuminating buildings, and I thought I was crazy for wanting to say yes.

Riley has always had my heart, wild and took no shit.

Nobody saw the man I did, and I wasn’t even sure he knew his worth.

I gripped the sleeves of his hoodie tighter, letting the scent of his cologne engulf me.

“I really love him, Chloe…” I trailed off.

“But?”

“Sometimes I wish my morals were as nonexistent as Rocco’s.

That I would have left him crying in the hole that night.

” I took a shuddering breath, letting everything come to the surface, telling Chloe the things I was too afraid to tell Riley.

“He would have hated me, moved on, and grown thicker skin. Chloe, he wouldn’t have lost three years of his life.

I’ve felt nothing but guilt since he told me.

He was stuck in a goddamn box, forced into the dark because of me; maybe I should take this deal.

” I had to stop for a moment and catch my breath before I turned into a blubbering mess.

“How can I give Riley the world, when I can’t give him the one thing a woman should be able to. ”

“You serious right now?” She rested her hand over mine, her thumb caressing the back of my hand as her own tears started to fall.

“Maya, you made the decision to remove everything because you were dying from the inside out, and Rocco didn’t give a fuck.

He let you continue to be abused, knowing what you were going through and didn’t give not one fuck. ”

“And I’ll pay the price when he finds out,” I replied coldly. “So, it doesn’t matter. Whatever way this would have gone, I’d lose, and if it has to be my life, so be it. Nothing wrong with getting rid of the common denominator.”

While I had always dreamed of being a mom, the abuse over the years became too much.

There was too much scar tissue, abnormal bleeding, and healing of things out of my control.

Chloe was able to disguise the surgery as a three-month family vacation, and Rocco would have been incredibly stupid to try and say no to our father.

If Riley loved me as much as he claimed, then maybe he would be okay with it, and I absolutely adored being the fun aunt.

I’d be there no matter what, for all of them.

I’d tell him when the time was right, right now was most definitely not it.

“Maya, don’t do that to him again, I am begging you.

Nick told me stories about how cold and, quite frankly, how terrible of a person he’d become.

You seem to forget I was on the receiving end of that once, consensual of course, but nonetheless, I was scared for a brief moment.

Even more so when I found out it was him.

I never thought the Angel I’d come to know was like that. ”

Her voice was strained, and she was struggling to get the words out; we both were.

In a flash, a loud cry left her, and I realized what a turn the conversation had taken because she now needed me, and I needed her.

Scooting closer, I grabbed her by the shoulder and brought her into my embrace, holding so tightly that when the cries died down, I had to feel for her pulse.

Placing a kiss to her temple, I used the sleeve of the hoodie to wipe at her tears.

“I’m sorry, I promise I’m not leaving you, any of you.

I just want to make things better, and I don’t know how.

Things have been too quiet. Rocco is here, watching, and the moment he finds an outlet to weaken us, he’s going to strike because he’s a venomous snake. ”

“We will figure it out, you are safe, both of you,” she sniffed before sitting up to clean her glasses off with her shirt.

I laughed at the misty smudges that she now couldn’t see out of but was pretending too so she wouldn’t have to repeat the process again.

“Now that we have showed way too much emotion for one night, what’s the good thing. ”

I shuffled uncomfortably with an awkward laugh. The wind whistled around us, and I was almost thankful the snow was starting to melt, it meant warm sun and positive days ahead. “So, a week or two ago I tried to…take control.”

“Of Angel? Oh my…how did that go?” She asked in a sarcastic tone, but it was laced with the most genuine curiosity.

“It went, because he was sleeping, but once he woke up and realized what was going on, the tides turned before I could think of my next step.”

I had no other choice but to laugh at my weak attempt.

A smile graced the once sad features of Chloe’s face, and I once again looked over the skyline, waiting for any piece of advice she could give me.

“I can tell you what works with Nick, but I can’t promise it will work with Angel.

You are the one who can’t cave, he’s a dominant man; it won’t come easy. ”

“Teach me your ways. I want to try again,” I pleaded.

“Okay, this is what you’re going to do when you get back home…”

Home, I really like the sound of that.