Page 37 of UnWholly Angels (Crestview Cardinals #1)
I smiled softly, resting my hands over his face. “You’re one man, Riley. You can’t be there every second of every day.” I told him. “Please don’t cry.”
My thumb swiped against the steady stream, and it broke my own heart into pieces.
“You almost left me,” he said through the cascading ears. “You can’t leave me alone.”
The onslaught of emotion from this normally hardened man threatened to send me into a spiral, and my heart clenched.
I gripped the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
Our lips connected in soft intimacy, but equally as passionate, letting him know that neither of us failed tonight.
Riley was still trembling when we pulled away, so I cut through the intense emotion the best way I knew how.
“Bring me to bed and I won’t tell anyone you cried. It will be our little secret,” I whispered against his chest. “My feet better not touch the floor.”
He shook his head with a breathy laugh. “You have yourself a deal, Freckles. Although I’m afraid if we keep piling secrets into that thick skull of yours, I’ll be able to skate across your forehead someday soon,” he sniffed, a soft yet noticeable chuckle sounded in my ears, and I smiled his way as I held on for dear life.
“Such a dick,” I retaliated as he started toward the front of the house.
Riley’s thumb ran across my back soothingly as we made our way to the bedroom, and the more he rubbed, the safer, more content I felt.
Once he laid me down and got himself comfortable, I was pulled into his side, but I didn’t dare tell him I couldn’t breathe.
The look on his face haunted me and made me think about things like how he felt on nights when he just…
needed someone to be there. I rubbed my nose into his neck, laughing as a small groan escaped his lips, knowing I found a sensitive spot to torture later.
My stomach flipped as I made the next request, nervous of his reaction, but also wanting to lighten the mood just a bit.
I swallowed, running my index finger down his chest, “So, now that I have a safe word, can you maybe, wake me up the way you did a few weeks ago? Without making me pee this time?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.
He belted out a laugh that rumbled from his body into mine. “While erotic, that’s not really my thing. I was trying to make a point, and I’m sorry if it was too much.”
I was speechless. Two apologies, and it hadn’t been twenty-four hours yet.
Still, I snorted, waiting for his answer.
“Yes, I can make that happen, but not tonight. Tonight, just let me love you. I just want to hold you for a moment.” I nodded, snuggling closer into his chest. “Just let me hold you.”
Riley’s grip tightened on my body, pulling me closer than possible before the lights flipped off.
Tonight, I realized something, a burning feeling erupting from the inside.
No matter what, I needed to remain strong, not just for myself, but for the part of Riley I wanted to hold onto: the small smidge of innocence he still had and the goofy, loving man who lived and breathed nothing but hockey and me.
In order to do that, I needed to stay strong, determined, and discern when I needed to remain hyper-independent. Tonight, however, I hugged him tighter and whispered, “I love you.”
He kissed my hair and settled back into the pillows. “I love you too, Maya,” he replied. “More than life itself.”
When I woke up, Riley was on his side, and I was on my back.
The night consisted of tossing and turning after a nightmare.
I was back in the pool area with that damned red mask.
Sweat poured down my shoulders, and once I removed the mask, I found myself, almost like a mirror between us, yet every movement was the same until she spoke.
Dream Maya told conscious Maya that Riley was going to die, and tears streamed down my face as I punched the invisible mirror.
I think the worst part of being trapped in your own mind was the helplessness.
You were a complete victim of the atrocious things you told yourself to do or say, the monster who lurked deep within all of us.
There were no monsters in our closets, or under the bed, because we were the monsters.
Trauma created us, forcing us to walk among others, seen as defective or in need of medication. We just wanted to be understood.
Embrace it, the darkness, she ordered me, and I would.
From here on out, the only person who would receive a complete version of me would be Riley.
But if he thought he would always be the one in charge, then he had another thing coming.
He made me wait. I needed to feel him against me in every way possible, and I was turned down; the rejection hit me hard, like the fragile doll he thought I was.
Maybe he was right, maybe I should trust him more.
I couldn’t be strong all the time. Tonight rattled me, and all I wanted was to express my gratitude.
And much like my personality, it would be incredibly unconventional.
He always liked to say he was there to take what was his, but today it was my turn. Today, Riley Kingston would whimper and beg me to come. Whether he did or not depended solely on him, and how he reacted to someone else taking control for once.
Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth, I removed the covers from his body slowly, careful not to wake him up.
My carnal desire only heightened as my eyes raked over his sleeping form, so relaxed, so unaware of my fingers dipping into his waistband to free his dick, already hardened and needy from the simple touch.
My tongue darted out to lick the underside of his cock, earning a slight moan from Riley’s groggy form, and I repeated the motion until his hand involuntarily grabbed at the sheets beneath him.
This was going to be so much fun.