Page 7

S ighing, I push back from the table and head for the door. I don’t bother gathering my things, because as much as I have to get to work, there’s something far more important that needs doing first.

Opening the door that leads into the kitchen, I find Roman and Benjamin on the other side. “Slamming doors is for children who don’t know better, and people who want to be treated like a child,” I say mildly to Benjamin.

He huffs but doesn’t say anything, just steps toward the other kitchen door, as if he plans to get on with his day like he’s not throwing a fit.

“No,” I stop him, my tone firm. “You and I need to have a conversation, you’re not going anywhere.”

He scowls at me. “I have work to do, or were you too busy thinking of all the ways you could bloody Lio up to pay attention during the meeting?”

I give him a bland stare. “I can multitask. And it wasn’t a suggestion. Go back into the dining room, Emilio will understand why I’m waylaying you.”

Jude slips past me into the kitchen, dragging a hand along my back and side in comfort as he does so.

“Before I go,” Roman says carefully. “I should probably tell you I am allowing the Martellis to move in for a bit. There's safety in numbers, and with Antonio and his lovers already here, it makes sense to bring everyone else over. Moving Nicolo again would just stress him out, and I’d rather not face Doc’s wrath. ”

I take a moment to think it over, running all of the ways it can go wrong through my head before finally giving Roman a nod. “We’ll make it work. Tell the housekeeper to give Ignacio the furthest room from Benjamin’s, and maybe we can avoid blood being spilt in the halls.”

“Ignacio wouldn’t hurt me,” Benjamin says.

I give him a humorless smile. “Can you say the same thing about him not going after Ten, if our lover pushes too hard?”

He grimaces and I turn back to Roman. “Try to make sure they make the move quickly and quietly. The cops will find out eventually, but it’s best to stay under the radar as much as possible.”

“Of course.” Roman steps forward and lifts up onto his toes, brushing a soft kiss to my mouth. “Be careful with him,” he whispers.

I give him an indulgent smile. “I’ll do my best.”

The look I get is one that says he doesn’t quite believe me, but he lets it go, stepping back and reaching for Jude’s hand.

Spinning on my heels, I head back into the dining room, suppressing the roll of my eyes when the door slams shut after Benjamin follows me in.

Retaking my seat, I watch Benjamin carefully as he decides what to do.

I'm surprised he sits beside me again, but I turn my chair to face him.

He looks at me with wary sea green eyes, and it takes all of my control to not smile at his discomfort. “So?” he says. “You wanted to talk, let's talk.”

Shaking my head, I huff. “Stop being petulant. One would think you’re a child instead of a grown man.”

He moves to get up. “There’s far more important things that I could be doing, rather than sitting here and listening to you insult me.”

“Sit down, and get your head out of your ass,” I tell him firmly. “I already told you; if you want to act like a child, I will treat you as one. You have no right to get all high and mighty with me when you haven't proven that you’re mature enough to get over yourself.”

He stares at me open-mouthed for a moment before saying, “You have no idea what’s going on. How Lio’s been treating?—”

“Don’t,” I cut him off. “I’ve already spoken to Emilio.

Yes, I will agree, he hasn’t been the best friend that you need, but I also don’t blame him.

What you did for Tennant…while it earned you my respect, those outside our family, who don’t know Ten as we do, they’re not going to understand.

This is something you’re going to have to learn to deal with if you’re going to be with Tennant.

Not everyone understands him, or wants to.

“Your job, as Tennant’s partner, is to love him and be with him. And to make sure your best friend and Boss is okay.” Shame and anger are at war on his face. Sadness fills his eyes as his frown deepens, but I don’t have any sympathy for him.

“I spoke to Emilio last night,” I say again. “I tried to get him to understand what happened between you and Ten.”

“He actually listened to you?” he gripes. “Typical. He can forgive you and Roman, despite his ‘burn down the Amatos’ mentality from just a couple of days ago, but me? He can barely look at me with anything but contempt.”

Why are they both so difficult?

“Then you’re not looking at him properly,” I tell him.

“Because I watched him throughout the meeting. When he wasn’t trying to seduce me with his eyes, he was looking at you with longing and sadness.

Anger was there too, yes, but he was only giving you what you gave him.

He had a breakthrough last night.” I smirk.

“And it didn’t even take me putting him over my knee.

” I watch him carefully before saying, “But I will put you there if you don’t shut up and start listening.

I knew Emilio was selfish, but I didn’t think you were, too.

Perhaps I was wrong about you, Topolino. ”

He leans forward. “You can’t talk to me like this. I don’t have to sit here and listen.”

I shrug and sit back in my chair, crossing my legs and setting my hands in my lap.

“You earned my respect with how you handled Ten. I consider you on my level when it comes to him, but as much as I want him to be happy, I won’t sit back and let someone ruin everything we’ve built because of a temper tantrum. ”

He scoffs, and once again, tries to stand. I’m quicker. Uncrossing my legs, I reach forward and shove him down into the chair, digging my fingers into his shoulder as I do.

“We’re having a conversation,” I say mildly. “Sit and finish it.”

“No, you’re being an asshole. I get it, okay? Ten is yours, whatever. You don’t have to rub it in my fucking face. He already explained how much he cares about you, Roman, and Jude.”

“He also explained where you fit in.” I watch him carefully as I say, “Tennant doesn't keep secrets from me. I know what you talked about. If you can't trust him at his word, this will never work between the two of you.”

His face crumples and he sits back in the chair, defeat seeming to weigh him down. “I already had my heart broken once,” he says softly. “I won't survive if Tennant decides he values you over me.”

Gentling my touch, I scoot my chair closer to his. “You have a lot to learn about Tennant. He's all in with you. He has been from the moment he let you live.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. “And that doesn't upset you? I'm having a hard time accepting that I have to share his time and attention.”

I shake my head, squeezing his shoulder again, hard. “You're not. Tennant can't separate us neatly in his head and heart like that. Everything else, he's good at compartmentalizing, but when he loves, he loves with his whole being. I can assure you, you're never not getting his whole self.

“I can curb my need and obsession enough to give him what he wants. If I couldn't, we wouldn't have Roman and Jude. Tennant has only ever tried to make me happy, so it's fair I do the same.”

Worry-filled eyes meet mine. “I don't want to lose him.

I'd die for him a thousand times over, but losing him…” He shakes his head.

“No one has ever loved me like he does. Or has ever accepted all of me, and pushed me to be better. I know Ignacio loved me, but he also coddled me. Tennant never has, and I need that, more than I need to breathe.”

There's a spark in his eyes that takes my breath away, and I can see exactly why Tennant fell head over heels for this boy.

Pulling back from him, I take a deep breath and roll up my sleeve, letting Benjamin get a good look at the scars on the inside of my wrist.

“When I was seventeen,” I say carefully, “my father sold me to pay off his debts. I spent roughly three years being used for other people’s pleasure. That doesn't just go away. Time, and the care and love from Tennant, Roman, and Jude have eased the hurt, but there are days when I'm not okay.

“I have nightmares, and my need to hold on tightly to my men, so no one can take them away, is out of control sometimes.

The anxiety that comes with not being able to keep them safe can be stifling.

All that said, I'm better than I was. Thanks to Ten.

He understands on a level most people won't. He can build you up, even while it feels as if he's tearing you down, and he can love you like you've never been loved before.

“You just have to give him a chance to prove it to you, Benjamin. Can you do that? Lo amate abbastanza da accettare ciò che significa per tutti noi?”

As he swallows and seems to gather his words, I roll my sleeve back down, unable to look any longer at the only physical evidence of my nightmares.

“I want to make this work,” he finally says. “I want this more than I've ever wanted anything.”

“I'm glad to hear that. Everything else can be worked out, so long as you're honest with him.

I gifted you to him, but in truth, I'm gifting Tennant to you.

No one else has free rein over him. I don't care what Roman and Jude do with him.

I know if I asked, they'd stop in a heartbeat, because they're all mine.

You? You're not. I'll protect you because you're important to both Tennant and Emilio, but you are my equal when it comes to Ten.” I stare into his wide eyes.

“Don't make me regret giving you such freedom.”

“No. I want him, forever. I…I don't like it, but I'll learn to live with the fact he has others in his heart.”

“That's all I ask.” Crossing my legs again, I sigh, my temples throbbing with a headache. “Back to the topic of Emilio?—”

“He's the one who came at me and started accusing me of shit!” Benjamin protests. “I tried my best to get him to talk, but I can't when he keeps shutting me out.”

I glare at him, and though he doesn't flinch, he does sag a little under the weight of my stare.

“You know him best. He needs logic, not emotions, in order to process everything.

It was a volatile situation, and you're both to blame for the state of your relationship.

I talked to him last night, as I said. He had a come to Jesus, it's time for your own.”

“I don't believe Lio listened to you.”

I smile a little. “I can be very persuasive. You need to apologize, properly, and let him see how much you love Tennant.”

He stands, but I'm not worried about him leaving the room, so I let him be. “I tried! It didn't help.”

“Then you didn't explain it right. Whether that was on purpose or not, I don't know or care. But do it again. Properly this time, in a way he can understand.”

“You don't know him.”

I stare up at him, one eyebrow raised. He sighs and looks away.

“He's not that hard to figure out. I think I have a good understanding of how he works.

He loves you, and wants you safe. I told him you're an adult, and are responsible for yourself. You need to assure him of the same. And show him that the love between you and Ten is real.” Nodding towards the bandage poking out from beneath the collar of his shirt, I add, “He'll probably be pissed that you're marked permanently now, but he's also not stupid, or a hypocrite. So figure out how to make him understand that what you have is real.”

“He's not going to get the almost-killing me thing.”

I shake my head. “No, he won't.” I gesture to the scar on my throat, proof of my own brush with death courtesy of Tennant. “But I do. You are not alone, Benjamin. You'll always be connected to Ten, and me now. That doesn't mean you can just throw away your other half.”

He lets out a long, defeated breath, as his shoulders slump. “He has Roman. He doesn't need me anymore.”

Standing, I take the boy in my arms, holding him close.

“He does. He needs you both. You fulfill different needs inside him.” Pulling back but not letting go, I tell him, “I know you don't like Roman, and I'm not asking you to, but you can't ask Emilio to allow you to have Tennant, while also taking away the person who's been helping keep him sane. Let them have their friendship. Roman just wants to be loved. Allowing that will help you with both Emilio and Tennant.”

He scowls but doesn't say anything. His dislike for Roman is an uphill battle that I don't have the bandwidth to tackle now.

They don't have to be friends, but as long as they respect each other and their places—both as a Second and Boss, and as lovers and friends to the people they care about—I won't touch it.

“Fracturing us will make it all too easy for our enemies to finish what they set out to do. Don't let them win over some petty bullshit.”

“Fuck.” He leans against me for support. “You're right, Lio and I need to talk.”

“I'll make sure to strip his knives beforehand,” I tell him helpfully.

He lets out a watery laugh. “Thank you, Hollis. For everything.”

Lifting his chin with two fingers, I bring his face up to mine and kiss him softly on the mouth. “I'll do anything for my family, Benjamin. That includes pulling your head out of your ass.”

He soaks up my comfort for a long moment before pulling away. “I need to get to work.” He straightens his clothes and wipes his eyes.

“Go, we will see each other soon. Come find me if you need to before then, though.”

He nods and leaves through the entry to the hall. Running a hand through my hair once I'm alone, I sigh and stare at my mess that's left on the dining table.

I have so much to do, but my head is too clogged with emotions, and fixing everyone else's problems. The last thing I need is to be distracted because I'm too busy worrying about everything except the job at hand.

The urge to break something, or someone, to clear my head is too great to ignore…but all of my lovers are knee deep in their own jobs today. Fucking cops, they have to ruin everything, and prevent me from kidnapping someone for a little stress relief.

Though, they're not my only options, not anymore. It's only a matter of getting him alone…

I hope my Cucciolo can back up what he was asking for in the meeting. Not that it matters if he wants it now or not. The needy puppy will be begging for it by the time I'm done with him…