Page 17

I tap on the door to the office Roman gave Lio, and try to wait patiently. In the past, I would have just walked in, but now that we’re in this weird place…fuck. How did we let it go this far? We’re supposed to be best friends.

“Enter.” My friend’s voice is scratchy, like he hasn’t slept at all, and shame fills me.

I slowly walk in, and when he glances up from his paperwork, he straightens completely, eyeing me warily.

My heart hurts seeing that reaction, and I hesitate to move forward.

Sighing, Emilio asks, “What can I do for you, Benjamin?”

Gathering my courage, I keep walking and sit down in front of him.

For just a moment, I stare at him, taking him in completely.

The stress marring his face, his hair that's sticking out every-fucking-where, like he hasn’t bothered combing it, or he’s run his hands through it so many times, it’s lost control, and the sleep deprivation clear in his eyes. Fuck . I could kick myself.

Shaking my head, I lean toward him, reaching my hand across the desk. He holds his out shakily and I grab it, squeezing hard. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Lio closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, I watch a tear slip down his cheek, and it undoes me completely.

I let go of his hand, stand up, and rush over to him.

I practically tackle him, and for once, he doesn’t argue against the hug.

Instead, he leans into it. For a moment, we stay in that position, both of us struggling to breathe.

The feeling of rightness slips over me. It’s as if I was missing part of my soul and didn’t realize it.

My friendship with Lio has always been grounding—I kidnapped him as a friend for a reason—but until we parted ways, I don’t think I realized just how much I needed him.

I sigh and snuggle further into my friend’s arms.

“You’re cutting off my circulation,” Lio grumbles.

I snort, because I figured that was as long as I’d get from him. Straightening up, I touch his cheek before I slip over to the other side of the desk, sitting down once again.

The silence this time isn’t strained. It’s not yet as comfortable as we’ve had in the past, but it’s no longer as if we’re waiting on a match to ignite the rest of our friendship and burn it down. “You need more rest.”

I try to make it sound neutral, and fail. Thankfully, he merely rolls his eyes. “Yes, well, I’ve been a little stressed. And Hollis’s methods can only work to a certain degree.”

Cocking my head, I narrow my eyes at him. “Hollis’s methods?”

“Uh…I thought you knew? I mean, you’re part of that group, right?” Lio stares at me with confusion. It takes me a bit to figure out what he’s saying, and when I do, I immediately laugh.

“No. Definitely…no.” I laugh uncontrollably. When I finally get my laughter under control, I give him a lopsided grin. “I’m with Tennant. But not the other three. It’s not a Martelli situation.”

“Oh.” Lio’s brow furrows, as if he still can’t understand this.

Shrugging my shoulders, I try to put it in perspective.

“You know I’m not interested in the other three.

I’d probably kill Roman. I don’t really know Jude.

The interaction I had with Hollis was him reminding me that I’ve been a shitty friend—which I have been.

I didn’t mean to not be there for you. Things…

Well, I guess they got complicated. But I don’t regret Tennant at all. He’s mine.”

Lio sits back at the vehemence of my statement. Scowling, he narrows his eyes at me. “It’s that serious? You were still wavering a bit with Ignacio. Granted, now that he’s gotten with Roman, I guess there’s no issue anyway.”

“Yes, it’s that serious. I claim him the way you claim your Master.

” The flash of recognition in Lio’s eyes has me backing down.

If anyone can understand possession, it should be him.

Biting my lip, I hesitate on the rest. “I…there are still feelings for Ignacio. This experience has taught me that love is multifaceted. I love you. I love Tennant. Neither one detracts from the other. Tennant helped reinforce that in my mind when he explained his poly relationship’s dynamics and how it affects—well, doesn’t affect—him and me. As for Ignacio…”

“You want me to kill him?” Lio asks, nodding as he goes to stand. I quickly wave him down, and he sits with a huff. “What? If you’re struggling with him, and he’s still pissing you off, I’ll end him. You’ll be happier, and things will go back to normal.”

“I’ve missed you. So fucking much. But no, killing still isn’t the answer to everything.

” I smile in relief at having my best friend back, and seeing that he’s still the same—still my homicidal teddy bear.

“I don’t want Ignacio killed. I have some…

complicated feelings for him that I’ll need to figure out, especially since he’s with Roman.

I know him. He doesn’t do anything halfway.

If he has feelings for Roman, it’s fucking serious.

I…I don’t know how to handle it yet. I feel like he just skipped off into the sunset, but how can I say that when I’m with Tennant? It’s selfish. I’m selfish.”

Growling, Lio stands up so quickly, his chair is knocked over.

He paces in front of me, muttering words I can’t understand—which is probably for the best. Finally, he gives a huff before turning toward me and folding his arms. “It’s not selfish.

I don’t know what I’d do in your position.

Obviously. I mean…things are weird enough with me and Hollis, and I don’t even want to think about how that’s going to affect… well—sorry. Tangent.

“Anyway, no, it’s not selfish. But, here’s the thing.

I hear too much, way too much, about people having feelings and shit.

I have no idea how Master dealt with all of this crap.

I know Ignacio still has feelings for you.

He’s supposedly stepping back and not getting in your face anymore, because he doesn’t want to hurt you.

So, no. He didn’t skip off into the sunset.

He has feelings for Roman, but he still has them for you, too. ”

At the end of his rambling, Lio slumps in exhaustion, and I stare at him in shock. Fuck. The stress must really be getting to him if he’s going off like that. “Wow. Uh, Lio, are you alright? I know, stupid question, but that was…a lot for you.”

Growling, Lio stomps over to the seat next to me and sits down heavily. “Feelings fucking suck. I’ve missed you. You’re supposed to help me with this shit.”

I grab his shoulders and pull him toward me. “I’m here now. We’ll figure it out. Leave Ignacio alone though. I’m still processing. And I may be a little biased when it comes to Roman. Although…I really want to know what is going on with you and Hollis.”

“A little biased?” He chuckles but he doesn’t move. Yawning, he shakes his head. “I don’t have an answer about Hollis. It’s…complicated. Fucking hell, I’d give anything for sleep right now.”

I gently push him away before standing and offering my hand to him. He grips it and lets me leverage him out of the seat. Without a word, I lead him out of the office and toward his room. However, when I go to tug him into it, he shakes his head violently.

“You need sleep,” I say firmly. There’s no way in hell I’m taking a no on this.

“I…can’t. Sleeping without Master… Even when Hollis wears me out, I can’t do more than take a small nap.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t plan on letting you sleep alone, isn’t it?” I jerk him one more time, and he stumbles after me. That’s more concerning than anything. I’d never be able to do that on a normal day.

I push him into bed, listening to him grumble the entire time. At least, he’s not wearing shoes. I kick mine off and slip into bed next to him, wrapping myself around his warm body. For a moment, he tenses, before finally relaxing with a deep exhale.

“I miss him. So fucking much. And this bed doesn’t feel right. It’s not home.”

“We’ll get him back. And when we do, we can go home,” I murmur to him, rubbing circles on his back. He snorts, squeezing me tightly.

“Master and I might. But Tennant won’t let you go. And I know you won’t leave.” I go to deny it, but he moves his head back and shushes me. His green eyes are sad, but resigned. “Don’t make me promises right now, okay? I…can’t handle it.”

Sighing, I don’t push him. Hell, maybe I don’t want to push myself either. Instead, I gently brush a kiss against his forehead, and pull him toward me tighter. I whisper in his ear, “Sleep. I’ll be right here.”

It doesn’t take long for him to finally pass out, and I struggle to join him.

I don’t want to acknowledge what he said, but I don’t think he’s necessarily wrong.

I can't help but wonder whether he realizes…does he think Hollis will just let him go? I work to let go of my conflicting thoughts and emotions, content to have my best friend snuggled up against me. With a smile, I join him in his slumber, knowing that at least one thing is right with the world again. Because Lio and I? We’re made for each other—true friends until our death, and maybe even beyond…

Nothing in this universe can ever pry us apart for good. Not even our own stubborn selves.