Page 17

She can hardly croak out her words. “Oh, my God, does he hit you, Lilibeth? That’s what this is about?”

Mom’s eyes are fractured - unfocused and scattering over me. It terrifies me so much that I can only see Remington’s grounding squeezes of my limp hand, not feel it.

But as Mom looks to Dad for the truth, my heart drops.

My dad is a frail shell of himself, fear stripping him to bones before my eyes.

It’s infuriating.

Hot gasps sputter from my lips as I burst into violent tears. “Why do you always get to be the one who gets to feel bad?”

My shrill tone echoes throughout the living room, but no one can answer my question.

I shake as I choke out harder tears. “If you realized you shouldn’t hurt her, where was my mercy? Why was I different?”

Dad just stands there. I can’t bear to look at him another second, repulsed by his empty guilt. It didn’t stop him from bruising my wrist mere months ago.

Mom’s voice comes out creaky. “Lilibeth, has he hit you? Answer your mother.”

Dad still hasn’t moved. I’m afraid if he does, he’ll keel over. Mom’s answer is right there, in his shame. She just has to finally notice what’s in front of her.

I turn to Mom, afraid to face the growing ache in my chest as I look into her eyes. But as she genuinely searches me for the truth, my heart breaks.

“Would it even change your answer?” I whisper.

Mom’s gaping jaw wavers as she stares me in the eyes. I know the truth is written on my face now, and it’s not that Dad was the only one who hurt me.

“Sorry,” Dad rasps.

My focus zips to his hanging head. Did I imagine he said something?

No, I didn’t. Dad chokes out a soft sob. “I’m so sorry, Lily.”

Remington’s breath has been steadily heightening, but with Dad’s apology, he grips my hand hard, forcing me to blink. I realize it's because I’ve been clinging to him for life until my hand was nearly numb.

But now I know exactly what to do. Even in this terrifying, gut-wrenching confrontation, I’m safe. I’m not alone anymore.

I give Remington’s hand a soft squeeze, releasing him to stand stronger.

“I don't believe your apology. I can’t,” I say. “Maybe ever.”

After a scathing silence, Dad just nods. Mom dissolves into true weeping, clinging to her chest as she stoops over.

I close my eyes. “I need to go home.”

The second I say the word, Remington’s arm swoops around my side, bolstering my strength. His deep, shaking voice soothes my nerves as he turns to my mother. “Lia, if you change your mind, or he ever comes close to laying a hand on you, we’ll be here to care for you in a heartbeat, no questions asked.”

Mom doesn’t answer. She can’t; all she can do is shake her head in disbelief, her quivering fist clamped over her lips.

Remington gently rubs my side, softening his voice. “Let’s go home, baby girl.”

As I meet his dark, nurturing eyes, his pet name hits harder than it ever has. My chest collapses from the pain. Sobs erupt from my lips as Remington guides me down the hall, keeping me standing - giving me the strength to finally walk down this hallway for the last time. He’s supporting me to set myself free.

Footsteps chase us. But they come to an abrupt stop as Remington whips his head around, his rib cage expanding against my side. A flash of fear tenses his muscles, and I suddenly remember Josh’s final outburst on the first day we met - the way it stiffened Remington into fear along with me. Now I know it’s from Ernesto.

I have to hold my heart to not feel like it’s dissolving in my chest. Before Remington has to speak, I harden my tone. “Stay back, Dad.”

Dad’s eyes are wide, as if I’m about to tear out his lungs. “Lilibeth, you have no idea how sorry I am. It’s not you, I just have anger issues, and things just pile up. This isn't how I expected my life to go.”

I have to cling to Remington’s arm, but with his firm grasp on my side, I find the strength to look Dad straight in the eyes. “This isn't how I expected a father to treat me either.”

A pained exhale escapes Remington’s lips. The sound shatters me, allowing me to voice the heart of my pain as my forehead contorts.

“When Rem saw my wrist, he described it perfectly for that little girl in my heart. She just wanted—” My voice shatters. I hiccup through tears as I continue. “I just wanted— to be protected, not bruised.”

Dad’s sunken expression dissolved into nightmarish guilt and horror.

It’s maddening. Even now, he gets to be the one who feels bad. The one who gets to feel hurt, forcing me to carry his pain for him.

As I stare at his worn frame, I realize nothing he can say to amend this will ever feel satisfying enough. He still hurt me, and I can’t change that.

I allow my face to contort into my ugliest cry. The only sound echoing throughout my childhood home is my sharp, angry tears, but I don’t feel shame in them anymore; I feel the power in them. Instead of pretending to be invincible, I’m finally showing how deeply Dad scarred me for life, not just physically, but throughout every form of my essence. I can hear my heart’s pain, releasing from tears of pent-up grief over little Lilibeth’s sense of safety.

I can do this. I can finally leave.

But my heart wavers as Mom panickily wheels herself down the hall, crying with me. She raises her quivering voice. “I’m so sorry I didn't notice.”

Closing my eyes, I lean into Remington, tempted to collapse as my heart snaps.

But Mom grasps my hands, holding me upright with Remington’s warm hands on my waist. “I need to talk this out with your father, and hold him accountable for it all. I need to take time to understand this, for all of us. But please, listen to me: I understand if you never come back here, Lilibeth. I won't hold it against you. The least I can do is allow you to live for yourself now, just like I've been hoping for you. Please, whatever you decide, just be free, my love. Be free.”

She props herself up just enough to swipe a tear off my cheek. I grasp her hand tight, hugging it to my chest.

“I love you,” I rasp. “Both of you.”

It’s confusing, but I mean every word. Mom gives me a soft smile despite her longing eyes, knowing this is goodbye for quite some time. She allows me to leave with Remington, pinning Dad in place with a tense shake of her head.

Remington closes the door behind us.

I can’t believe this just happened. I’m so shell-shocked that I can’t remember the walk to the car, snapping back into my awareness in the passenger’s seat.

Remington’s thumb sweeps over the back of my palm as he shares the silence with me. As I peek into his eyes, he gives me a somber smile.

“There you go, baby girl. I’m right here. You did it. You really did it.”

He’s been softly crying this whole time. As my tears return, Remington strokes my head with an even wider smile to mirror me - I’m grinning from ear to ear despite my lips quivering.

“Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I couldn’t have done this without you,” I say.

He shakes his head, and I only smile wider; I’ve memorized this conversation already after training my heart alongside him for nearly a year. He doesn’t need to reiterate that we’re happy to be there for each other, no matter how painful life’s worst moments may feel.

Which means it’s time for aftercare. “Can you drive two blocks over, please? There’s a really pretty park I want to show you.”

Remington laughs through his stuffy nose, kissing my hand before slipping from my grasp. “Sure thing, my gorgeous little panther.”

The further we drive, the freer my heart feels - just like Mom hoped. Except it’s still so heavy with pain and disappointment that I can hardly bear to suck in each weighty inhale.

Bitter nostalgia seeps through my core as we pull up to the park, childhood memories flooding my mind. The good ones hurt just as much as the sad, frantic anxiety I’d feel for making Dad take me to the park while Mom didn’t feel well. I’ve avoided this place because of it.

Except this time, I made the right choice in returning anyway; Remington’s presence refreshes my soul to create a new, healing conclusion to those confusing, lonely days.

Remington leads me to a cool patch of grass. We settle in side by side, watching the sunset lower the clouds into ice cream pastels across the sky.

“I’m so proud of you. So amazed by you.” Remington takes my hand. “I’ve never met anyone so brave, and I’m so honored you let me be by your side to witness you owning your power.”

My eyes flood with tears. We snuggle closer, Remington’s cheek pressing against the top of my head as I nuzzle into his chest. Even though my heart hurts, I’m smiling.

“Thank you. I feel so seen by you,” I whisper.

But when Remington sniffles above me, my heart flips. Lifting my head to check Remington’s expression, I’m surprised he doesn’t attempt to hide his tears from me. I let out a soft whimper as a droplet rolls down his cheek, but Remington dives for my lips. Our kisses are rushed and sloppy, startling us into laughter as we have to gasp for air from our stuffy noses. Swiping each other’s faces with our sleeves, I cherish every second of the earnest giggling he inspires in my sore chest.

I sigh. “I’m so disappointed. I really thought Mom felt trapped too, but she chose my dad even before I was born, and she kept choosing him. I only believed she was trapped because I felt like I was, all my life. But it really was just me. I really was as alone as he made me feel.”

Remington hums, tucking my hair behind my ear. I scoot closer, glancing back to the sunset as it deepens into blood orange.

My voice shakes. “Rem, I never realized it as deeply until today, but she broke my heart along with him too.”

Drawing me to him gently, Remington kisses my forehead. “I know, I watched it hit you, and it broke my heart too. I’m so sorry.”

Burying my head against his chest, I warp into heartier, yearning tears. Remington holds me tighter, securing me in place. We breathe through the heartache together, but after a silent minute, I laugh.

“After all that effort to get stronger, I didn’t even have a chance to carry her once.”

Remington doesn't laugh. He straightens, turning to face me in the grass. “Was that all it was for, though?”

I furrow my brows, plucking a piece of grass. When I first joked to Remington about my failure to carry Mom, I thought that was why I worked so hard to get here, besides carrying the soup. But he’s right: now I’m not so sure it was the soup, either.

Sweeping his fingertips down my back, Remington hums. “Maybe one of your goals was to get stronger for your mom, but I saw it as more than that the more I got to know you. Having a reason to work out opened up a door for you to be able to step into yourself at your core - and shed so much shame. Except you took it a step further, Lilibeth. That little panther I saw hiding beneath those bangs came out in full force against her life’s worst hunter tonight, baring her teeth even though it made her whole body shake. Fierce isn’t enough to describe you. Especially as you let yourself cry raw, real tears, in front of all of us.”

My heart gallops along with Remington’s wild words. As I stare into his eyes, his faith in me has only strengthened after today. I’m not only capable to him, I’m his hero too.

And I know the reason I saw myself as worth the tears, pain, and trauma shakes tonight was because of the freedom Remington and I created together - just like Mom hoped for me. I’m already living freedom, staring into these eyes.

But my heart flips into my throat. We’re not taking Mom home anymore. What does this mean for our plans?

I’m terrified to ask.

That’s exactly why I will.

I grip Remington’s hand, swallowing hard. “Rem, I know we talked about living together to support my mom, and I know that might change without the same urgency, but I– I’d still really like to...”

Trailing off, I gape at the grinning, tattooed man before me. He’s smiling wide, both cheeks extending joy to his crinkling eyes.

“Lilibeth, that offer still stands for me too. There’s nothing I’d love more than to wake up beside you, cry beside you, chase boredom away beside you, laugh beside you, and struggle beside you for as long as you’ll have me there. As long as I get to love you, I’m happy.”

The sunlight casts a deep pink glow through his black eyes, reflecting the blissful, soothing warmth his words wash over my soul. I drop my nose against his, gazing into his eyes as I ease our lips together. We hold each other for ages, softly kissing as the sunset fades to a dim purple. Not even the fresh night breeze can cool my elated blood pounding through my veins.

Drawing Remington close, I soften my voice. “Being with you feels so big, but so calm at the same time. We’re building something together that feels so healing for our hearts, including our younger selves, and I almost can’t believe what we can accomplish because of it. We have the power to heal both the past and present for each other, just by existing. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

The sigh Remington releases from his nose heals my heart just the same; I can hear him setting himself free alongside me.

Splitting rent is one thing, but having the opportunity to build our own home with Celeste, creating a healing environment in which we can all thrive, is beyond my previous imagination of what I’d want in life. As we lean into each other for another soft, lingering kiss, I trust the life we’ll create alongside each other will be even greater than I can imagine now too.

I know I will heal there with him, but my heart flutters as I realize what it means for Remington too: I can hold space for him, showing him over time that I’m not going to dissolve into someone who hurts him the way he was hurt. And I know he’ll teach me the same. He already is.

Remington’s sharp, huffing laughter spills from him, breaking our kiss. He’s still tearing up, but I understand exactly what he means; the joy emanates from the glowing purple sky in his black eyes, promising another day to come. And it’s one where we’ll be here to face it all - together.