Page 20

T he room is bright, painfully so, and I blink against the harsh glare, my eyes struggling to focus. The only sound I can hear is the incessant beeping of machines. I can't move, can't think, the fog in my mind thick and suffocating. I try to lift my hand, but it's heavy, weighed down with wires and tubes, the IV pulling at my skin.

Where am I?

My heart lurches, and panic claws at me. I try to sit up, the effort sending a sharp jolt of pain through my body. The sound of footsteps, quick and purposeful, and then a voice—soft, calming—a nurse appearing at my side.

"You're awake," she says, relief in her voice. "It’s okay, Nia. You’re in the hospital. Don't try to move. I'll get the doctor."

I'm in the hospital.

The realization hits, and I gasp, the memories rushing back in a flood of images and sound. The compound, the cross, the knife—oh God , my father . I force myself to breathe, each inhale a struggle against the tightness in my chest. The memory of his life fading away is crushing, but not because I wish for it to be different. Instead, it’s almost a sick kind of relief I never knew I needed.

The nurse leaves, and I feel the world tilting, the edge of panic sharper now, more real. I hear the murmur of voices outside, and then the door swings open, a flurry of activity as more people come in. The doctor is there, his expression focused and concerned, his voice steady as he speaks to me.

"Nia, can you hear me?" he asks, leaning over, checking the monitors. "You're in the ICU. You've lost a lot of blood, but you're stable. Can you tell me what you remember?"

I swallow, my throat dry and raw. "I...I was stabbed," I whisper, the words barely audible. "My father—he—"

The doctor nods, his eyes meeting mine, reassuring and calm. "You're very lucky. The police found you just in time. We were able to repair the damage, but you'll need a lot of rest. You’re safe here.”

Safe.

The word feels foreign, unreal. I try to process it, to let it sink in, but all I can think about is the blood, the pain, the way my father looked as I—

I killed him.

My breath catches, a choked sound that brings the nurse back to my side, checking the IV, adjusting the wires. "You're okay," she says softly, her hand a light touch on my arm. "You're going to be okay. Just try and rest.”

I nod, but it feels like a lie. I can't shake the image from my mind, the way my father's body fell, the way my world went dark. I close my eyes, trying to block it out, trying to remember what came after. The roar of engines, the wail of sirens, Talon's voice—frantic, desperate.

He was there.

Was it real? Or was it one last trick of my mind, one last cruel twist before everything went black? I don't know.

“Talon,” I whisper. “Where is Talon?”

“We will make a call now, he has only just left. He has been by your side since you came in here,” the nurse smiles, “Between you and Lily, he hasn’t had any rest.”

“Lily?” I gasp, trying to sit up again.

“Hey now,” the nurse carefully pushes me back down. “Lily is in the hospital too, but she’s stable and doing well.”

“I need to see her,” I say again, trying to move.

“Nia, hey, I know you want to see her but you are in the ICU and unfortunately you can’t until you are more stable. I promise you she is okay, and as soon as possible, you can see her. I’ll go and call Talon now?”

I nod, tears burning beneath my eyelids.

She’s okay.

That’s all that matters.

The nurse leaves and I lay my head back, already exhausted from such a small amount of movement. My body hurts and a realization comes to me, causing me to jerk upright again. I press the nurse's button, over and over, until she comes running back in, her eyes wide.

“The baby,” I whisper, my bottom lip trembling.

The nurse swallows, and then walks over, sitting beside me and taking my hand. “I’m so sorry, unfortunately the baby didn’t make it.”

The words hang in the air. The room tilts and sways, and I am both inside my body and far beyond it, a million miles away. I feel the nurse’s hand squeeze mine. At first, there’s only shock, a numbness that spreads like ice, but then—then the hurt comes.

I wasn’t ready. The thought had terrified me when I found out I was pregnant. I was afraid of what it meant, what it would change, but now it’s gone, and a part of me I didn’t know existed is being torn open.

I lie back, helpless, the ceiling a white blur above me. I want to cry, to feel something besides this hollow ache and confusion, but the tears won’t come. “I didn’t know,” I whisper. “I didn’t know I wanted—” The sentence fractures, unfinished.

The nurse watches me with a gentle expression. “I’m so sorry. I know this is a lot to take in.” Her voice is calm, soothing. She waits a moment, then stands. “I’ll call Talon. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Alone.

I’ve been alone most of my life, but this is different. This is another kind of alone, and it’s unbearable. I close my eyes, hoping to shut it all out—the pain, the noise of machines, the world pressing down on me. I wanted to see Lily, to know she was safe, and now I’m drowning in a loss I never expected.

The door clicks shut, leaving me in silence. I count my breaths, each one a struggle. My hand rests on my stomach, a reflex I can’t stop, and the emptiness there feels like a betrayal. This hurt me in a way I can’t explain and I don’t want to feel like this anymore.

A tear rolls down my cheek.

Ten or so minutes later, the sound of booted footsteps, quick and determined, echoes through the room. Then, Talon is there, eyes searching, his face masked with something I can’t read. He moves quickly toward the bed, and when he reaches me, he takes my face in his hands and presses his forehead to mine.

I can’t hold it back anymore.

A sob rips from my throat.

“I lost it,” I say, the words breaking. “I lost the baby.”

He pulls me to him, careful of the wires and machines, and I let myself fold into him, the dam inside me shattering. The tears fall hard, a release and a surrender, and I grip his shirt like it’s the only thing keeping me from disappearing.

“I didn’t know how much I wanted it,” I sob, the truth raw. “I didn’t know until now.”

He holds me tighter, his breath warm against my cheek. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”

“I didn’t even think of it,” I whisper. “I only wanted to get Lily out, to bring that cult down, that I didn’t stop and think about my own baby.”

“Hey,” Talon rasps, pulling back and looking at me. “Ain’t no way that you did this on purpose. If it wasn’t for you, that little girl down there,” he jabs a finger at the door, “would be dead. Do you know how close she was to death?”

My chest tightens.

“You lost a life, and for that, I’m fuckin’ sorry, but you saved one and you ought to know how much that means.”

I bite my lip, the tears falling hard.

“I didn’t get it, not until I met her. Bein’ by her side this last week, while you have been in and out of consciousness, made me realize why you did what you did. She’s a fuckin’ special little girl. You gotta know, I’m sorry for treatin’ you the way I did.”

I shake my head, bringing my tear-soaked lips to his for a long moment, before pulling back. “No. I hurt you. I’m the one who should be sorry. But, it’s over with now. We’re all here, and we’re all safe. How we got here doesn’t matter.”

Talon runs his thumb over my bottom lip.

“Seein’ him drive that knife into you, over and over, fuck, Nia...I have never felt a pain like it.”

My eyes burn. “It’s over now, right?”

I look up at him, desperately searching his face for an answer. I need to know it wasn’t all for nothing. I need to know our plan worked.

“It’s over, darlin’. The police arrested them, your father is dead, and the cult is no more. Lily’s parents will agree to sign her over, we’re makin’ sure of it, and as for the rest of them, who cares.”

“Am I going to prison?”

Talon shakes his head. “No way. Everyone saw it, he fell on that knife. Nobody is questionin’ that after what they saw. You’re good, trust me on that.”

“Cyrus?” I whisper, eyes wide.

“Dead. He tried to run when the cops told him to stop, the stupid fucker charged right at them at they shot him. Don’t have to worry, baby. He’ll never bother you again.”

I let out a long, slow breath. A relief washing over me I didn’t know I needed.

“How many people did the livestream reach?”

Talon grunts. “Let’s just say you’re a TikTok sensation and you have so many people waiting to hear how you are. That livestream went viral. It did its job.”

We did it.

We really, truly did it.

Finally.

I WAKE TO THE SOUND of quiet footsteps, the sterile scent of the hospital room lighter now that I’m out of the ICU, now that I’ve spent two days awake, finally able to see Lily and know she’s safe. Seeing her face slowly coming back to life, her cheeks rosy, her hair soft, her eyes bright, makes everything worth it. She has the club wrapped around her little finger, and every single one of them adores her.

I have slept most of the afternoon, and it’s now dark out. It’s impossible not to when I’m given constant painkillers.

My body needs it, though.

Each day, I get a little stronger, and the wounds that nearly killed me slowly heal.

The door opens, and Talon slips in. For a moment, I just watch him. The way he fills the space with an intensity that makes everything else feel less real, less immediate. When he realizes I’m awake, his eyes soften in a way that I don’t think I’ll ever get used to.

It’s the kind of love I need.

Want.

Crave.

“You’re awake.”

“The drugs they are giving me knock me out,” I try to smile, shifting to sit up more, and he’s at my side in two long strides, adjusting the pillows behind me.

“I’m glad you’re up, I want to show you something,” he murmurs, nodding toward the window.

I frown, confused. “Huh?”

“Just come look.” He takes my hand, and I feel the familiar roughness of his fingers, the warmth that spreads through me at his touch.

He helps me out of the bed. I’m still in a great deal of pain when I get up, but slowly, the more I move, the easier it gets. Little by little, my body is on the mend and hopefully, I’ll be out of here in a few days. Home with Lily, safe and free.

When I reach the window, I gasp.

I had no idea what I was expecting to see, but this certainly wasn’t it.

Hundreds of people gather along the street below, a sea of candlelight flickering against the dark. Some hold signs: "Nia. Hero." The words blur as my eyes fill. Are they all here for me? I don’t understand.

“The hell you went through, Nia, it’s not just yours anymore,” Talon says, his voice low. “Someone from a women’s violence shelter wanted to show support. Word got out and now look.”

I’m numb, unable to speak. They’re here for me, for Lily. I feel something cracking open inside, unfamiliar and vast. I’ve never been anything but lost, and now—hero?

My bottom lip trembles as I look down at them, and slowly, I lift my hand, waving. I can hear their cheers and applause even through the hospital window. I press a hand to the glass, letting them see my tears, letting them see how grateful I am.

They raise their hands in unison, as if we are all connected.

Talon’s arms wrap around me, steady and strong, his chest pressed to my back. “Can’t say I’ve ever seen anythin’ like it. Your story captured so many people. Your bravery showed them they can be brave, too.”

I shake my head, trying to comprehend.

“But, I’m just one person...” My voice is small, almost lost in the enormity of the moment. I’ve never been the center of anything other than control, and now all this light, all these faces turned upward with hope.

“What you did matters,” Talon says. “You gave them something to believe in, you showed them there is a way out.”

I feel the weight of his words, the truth of them settling in. I’ve done something good. It seeps into the cracks of me like warmth, like light. I watch the people below, and I feel their presence rising up, surrounding me, lifting me.

Talon presses his lips to my temple, and I lean into him, breathless. “I never thought—” I start, but there aren’t words for this. For the first time, I feel like I’m part of something bigger, something that isn’t just fear and survival, but strength and possibility.

It’s overwhelming, and I cling tighter to Talon, to the window frame, to everything I’m not sure how to hold. For a long time, we stand at the window together, the glow of candles like stars against the street, like a universe I never knew existed.

Talon reaches down, and his hand slides over my belly, shocking me. “I know you wanted that baby, and one day, when the time is right, we’re goin’ to have as many as you want. I promise you that.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, turning to face him. “Really?”

He nods. “Yeah, I seen what you did for Lily. That’s the kind of woman I want havin’ my babies.”

My heart explodes.

He rubs my stomach again. “I’m sorry about your baby.”

I swallow, nodding and looking up at him with blurred vision. “I’ll be just fine. I have you.”

“Yeah. You fuckin’ sure do.”

Eventually, Talon guides me back to the bed. I’m weak with emotion, with gratitude, with the enormity of what’s happening, but there’s something else now too. Strength, building slowly, surely, and for the first time in my life, I believe I can actually embrace it.

For the first time in my life, I think I can be whoever I want to be.

The world just opened up for me, for Lily, and for everyone who feels alone.

I made a difference, as small as it might be, it’s still a difference.

My heart explodes with a joy I know I’ll carry with me until the day I die.