Page 4 of Unkindness of Crimson Ravens (The Crimson Duet #1)

“Enough.” She extended her hand out, stopping me from saying another word.

“Begging won’t help you. You are smart enough to know why we need this marriage.

” She gestured for me to get up on my feet.

“Stop being the selfish brat that you are. You are to be the Queen. Act like it.” She bit out, staring down at me in disgust. “If it’s good for the Kingdom, you are to do it.

” Her harsh words forced my lips into a thin line.

“Next week we are to attend a dinner at the Barrens’ Duchy.

You will apologize to their heir, and excuse your horrible behavior. ”

My mouth opened wide in horror; I could not force the air into my lungs. “Please! Don’t make me do this! You cannot!”

“I beg your pardon!” The back of her palm landed on my cheek, sending my face on fire, forcing my eyes to see stars. “How dare you talk to your Queen this way?”

A silent tear fell down my abused cheek, and I didn’t bother hiding it.

Mother did not speak anymore, just stared at me with an indifference I could only envy.

How can you allow this? I wanted to scream at her.

Why would you hurt me this way? You are a disgrace to my father's honor.

I stared at her, wishing she could hear my thoughts, wishing she would always walk beside the shadow of my pain for she was the creator of it.

“Father would never approve of this alliance.” My words were barely a whisper.

My eyes studied hers, trying to find the mother who loved, mother who protected and cherished her children. The Queen’s eyes were full of exhaustion, boredom, and... sadness.

My palms turned into fists, nails digging into my skin, distracting me from the pain I felt in my heart.

Would she change her mind? Would she stop the marriage? I stared at her with a plea in my eyes, begging for salvation, and for a second every part of me believed she would put this nonsense to a stop. She would protect me, as she swore she would.

I didn’t dare to make a sound—my whole world came down to whatever my mother would say next.

Taking a deep breath, she finally broke our silent conversation. “We will be discussing your wedding then,” she said. “I want you wed two weeks from now, so if you have any preference for your celebration, don’t delay your requests.”

“No,” I whispered in disbelief.

“Goodnight, daughter,” the Queen said, gracefully leaving the room, leaving me to this disarray.

“No!” I shouted after her from the top of my lungs, not caring that the guards by my door would hear me.

As if there was a huge invisible hole in my stomach, I placed my palms in an attempt to make my entrails stay in place.

“No! No! No!” I fell to my knees once again, hitting the marble floor with all the strength I had left in me, until my voice became hoarse.

My heart ached, as though someone stuck a dull dagger in it: slowly twisting and squeezing the blade into my wound, waiting for my heart to bleed out and to still forever.

My soul had finally escaped my body, floating to freedom. My hands kept hitting the marble, until they started to bleed, painting my skin bright red; my hands hit the marble, until soft, gentle hands held me tight.

“You will be all right, dear,” Mories’ soft voice whispered through my sobs. “You will be all right.”

No, I won’t! I wanted to argue, but I could not take my next breath to let the words out. I could not take the next breath to scream, even though that was what my soul demanded.

There was no air left in the room. I was under water. Deep down in the ocean, where only darkness accompanied me. I tried to fight my way out with all the remaining energy, trying to fight my way to the surface, but Mories’ hands held me firmly in place.

I’m dying! I wanted to shout at her. I am dying, let me go!

“I will not let this marriage happen, my dear, I promise.” Mories said gently, moving the hair from my face.

How can you lie to me? I wanted to confront her. How can you promise something you cannot do? I wanted to scream.

“Once, a little girl befriended the moon.

The moon sang her songs in a beautiful tune.

The moon sent the girl beautiful stars,

The stars were protecting the girl from dark charms.”

Any attempts at speaking fell short as Mories’ soft voice reached my ears: an old lullaby that put my mind to rest.

“Once, a little girl befriended the moon,

The moon sang her songs in a beautiful tune.

The moon sent the girl a beautiful pearl,

The pearl was so precious, as was the girl.”

My lungs finally expanded, allowing the air in.

“That’s right, dear. Breathe.” Mories whispered, rubbing my back.

For a while we just sat on the floor, surrounded by my own blood. Silent tears fell on my gown, but my mind was empty of any thoughts, and I treasured that moment while it lasted.

This is a dream! Wake up, Cordelia.

I tried to move my muscles, but my body failed me. I tried to force my eyes open, tried to scream: all in vain.

Wake up!

Jumping from the bed with such force, I knocked my violin from its stand, making the room thunder in a dull ring of my instrument.

Just a dream. I kept repeating my mantra, hugging myself tightly, trying to force the images of the nightmare out of my head.

I woke up from Timothy forcefully kissing me in a hallway, trying to rip my gown to shreds.

Stop being so prude, Cordelia. He had told me before making himself the main character of my nightmares. I woke up from his disgusting words that had haunted me for the last month. The words that were still loud and clear in my head.

I woke up from the knife in his hand.

I woke up from the blood on my gown.

I woke up from his hands, holding me by my hair.

It was a dream. Just a dream.

Just a dream for now. Soon enough my nightmare would become my reality once again. After the wedding there would be no salvation, no rescue. My life would be over the moment the vows were said at the altar.

No one could save me, no one could change the Queen’s decision. Brian was not here to protect me, Father was not here to put this nonsense to a stop.

You stole them from me. I told the Moon. You didn’t even let me say my goodbyes.

The walls of my bedchamber were narrowing, trapping me in, crashing my body.

My hands stretched out toward the dagger underneath my bed as I put my cloak on. My mind was deprived of any thought, the instincts in me took control over my body when my legs carried me across my room.

The wardrobe door creaked when I sneaked through it, straight to the secret passage hidden within. My secret passage that led just outside the garden, just outside the perimeter of our land, right to the cemetery.