Page 11

Chapter eleven

Jade

F lyn kissed me. Or I kissed him. I’m not sure which one of us moved first, but whatever. It happened. Our lips met, and we kissed. There were actual fireworks and everything.

And now I’m home, lying on my bed even though I might as well be floating. I’m still fully dressed, and my phone is on my stomach where I dropped it after texting Flyn that I got home okay.

It’s like I don’t want this day to end. If I don’t get ready for bed, if I don’t go to sleep, then this day will last forever. The day Flyn kissed me.

Stuff like this doesn’t happen to me. It just doesn’t. I can’t believe this is real.

A heavy sigh escapes me and echoes around my empty room. Who am I kidding? This isn’t real. Flyn kissed a human, the weird boy he used to work with. The boy who disappeared. The one he thinks is an assassin or something.

He didn’t kiss a half-fey. He didn’t kiss a former sex slave. He didn’t kiss the man who nearly destroyed the world.

Flyn did not kiss me.

He brushed lips with shadows and half-truths and if he ever discovers the truth, he’ll be horrified.

It’s wrong of me to lie to him. It’s selfish and immoral.

But fuck does it feel good. It is so nice to be noticed, to be seen.

To be wanted. And sure, I know he is drawn to my physical appearance.

I’ve seen the look in his eyes, because I’m not blind.

But it feels like so much more than that.

He likes me. Not me , obviously, just the glimmers he is allowed to see.

And maybe that’s enough. Maybe I can allow myself to enjoy it. At least for a little while. Sips of water after being lost in the desert. It’s far better than nothing. Or is it? Is it actually a taunt and a tease?

I put a pillow over my face and scream silently into it. Then I remove the pillow and take a deep breath. Okay, sleep. I do not want to lie here all night spiraling and angsting.

Everything always seems clearer in the morning light. A little more hopeful.

With one last sigh, I heave myself out of bed and head for my bathroom to get ready for sleep. Hopefully, my dreams will be pleasant. Hopefully, they will be about Flyn.

I quickly hide my yawn behind my hand. The steaming coffee mug in front of me hasn’t had a chance to do its thing. The morning light streaming through the dining room windows is bright, and the room is filling with people as everyone gathers for this family meeting Pink has suddenly called.

I’m not awake enough for this. Tendrils of dreams are still clinging to me. I’d rather be thinking about Flyn than focussing on whatever this is.

Just as that thought crosses my mind, Ned and Morgan walk in. I quickly snatch my gaze away and hide my shudder of unease. One day I won’t wilt in Ned’s presence, but today is not that day.

Blearily, I look around. Everyone is here now. All the former harem members. And their assorted mates, husbands and boyfriends. Apart from me. I’m the only one sitting here alone.

Red and his boyfriend, Brodie. Lello and his mate, Carter. Gray and his mate, Mal. Ned and his boyfriend, Morgan. Pink and his husband, Monty. And me, sitting here alone like a dumbass. The odd one out. The loser.

“Thanks for coming, everyone,” says Pink.

The low hum of chatter immediately stops. All eyes turn to my best friend.

He clears his throat a little awkwardly. “When we moved into this house, there were only eight of us.”

Yep. The seven harem boys and Brodie. The healer slash secret agent who helped get us out.

My gaze wanders around the crowded room. The sounds of Ned and Morgan’s three kids playing drift in from the living room.

Everything has changed. Everyone apart from me.

“It’s become a bit of a squash and a squeeze,” says Pink.

Goddess, am I in a bad mood. All I can think about is how my lovely bedroom with its ensuite is perfectly fine for me. Perfect for one. I haven’t outgrown it.

Pink takes a deep breath. He glances at his husband and gets a proud smile.

“So,” he continues. “Monty has an entire stately home sitting empty since his mother fled. Fifty-three bedrooms and more drawing rooms and galleries than can be counted. There even is a ballroom.”

Monty stands up. “There is a boating lake for Lello to swim in.”

The little kelpie lets out an excited sounding squeak. Monty smiles softly and turns to Red.

“There are large grounds and woods for Red to run in.”

Red’s eyes light up. Shit, I never even considered what it must be like for a wolf shifter to live in a city. Red never complains, so it never crossed my mind. Some friend I am.

“We can build a large saltwater pool for Blue,” adds Pink.

Monty smiles at his husband. “There are clear skies for Gray to watch the stars, and the folly has a great view of the sunrise.”

Gray sits up a little straighter and despite my self-pitying mood, I can’t help but smile. I love that my scary demon friend loves to stargaze and watch the sunrise. It is so cute. Until I remember it’s because he spent a hundred years chained to a bed in a dark room.

“There is so much room that Ned and his family can have their own wing of the house, if they want. Each of the kids can have their own bedroom.”

Ned and Morgan look at each other. Communicating something silently in that way that only couples seem able to do.

Pink turns his attention to me, and he falters. Yeah. There is nothing to offer me. What do I need? I’m not interesting in any special way. Just keep me away from fey stone circles, I guess. And it’s unlikely Monty has any of those on his giant, fancy property.

“The only downside we can think of,” says Monty. “Is that it is quite far away.”

Pink quickly interjects, “But we only moved here so Ned could be close to the kids. Nobody has any ties to this area.”

“Noah and Oscar will have to change schools,” Ned says.

Pink nods solemnly.

“It is a lot to think about,” agrees Monty. “There is no rush to make a decision. Pink and I merely wished to put the suggestion forward.”

“And you’d be happy with a bunch of random people living in your ancestral home?” I ask.

For fuck’s sake. Why do I have to be such a moody bastard? Always ruining the mood and bringing everyone down.

Monty coughs. “I don’t consider anyone here to be random people. I consider you all to be family.”

He blushes, and Pink takes his hand. My bestie gazes up at his husband with an utterly adoring expression.

Chatter breaks out. Mostly people assuring Monty that they think of him as family too. It’s making me seem like a right jerk.

I hide my sigh and fight to keep my expression neutral. The thing is, I do think of Monty as family. I love everyone in this room. My found family that I do not deserve .

The boys I went through hell with, and the men that love them. So I have no idea why I said such a bratty thing.

Brodie says that sometimes when a person feels unlovable, they push others away as a defense mechanism. Pink says that everyone understands that I don’t mean it. But I have a feeling he is far more forgiving than the rest.

Talk drifts on to the benefits of moving to Monty’s house. I guess it’s Pink’s house too, now that they are married.

I sit and listen quietly. Everyone sounds excited. Happy. It sounds more like plans than a serious discussion of the pros and cons.

My stomach twists uncomfortably. This is awful timing. The very worst.

What about Flyn? Things are just starting. I have my misgivings and I’m riddled with guilt, but something is blooming and I want to see where it leads. Goddess, do I want that. More than anything.

But that’s not going to happen if I move hundreds of miles away. How will I see him? I’ve heard that long-distance relationships sometimes work, but I’m pretty sure whatever is happening between me and Flyn is far too early for that.

It’s definitely far too early to ask him to come with me. And that might never be an option. He sounds super close to his sister and niece. Even his parents. Nevermind his job.

Oh hells. What am I going to do? Do I give up my found family for a man I’ve kissed once? For the hope of something that might never happen?

What if I stay here alone, and this tentative thing with Flyn doesn’t work out? I’ll have nothing and no one. I guess I could run up to the stately home with my tail between my legs. But if I chose a man over them, will things ever be the same again?

Oh goddess. What a terrible, awful decision to have to make.