Page 39 of Understood

"I ran into a cute stray who wants to talk to you," was the first thing Rhys said as Valentina picked up her phone. He couldn't be more blunt—and just for his own amusement, he decided to torture Lilith a little by putting the woman on speaker.

Lilith's eyes widened instantly. The cigarette she had been holding slipped from her fingers, clattering to the ground. She stomped on it reflexively, unsure whether to scold Rhys or just glare at him in complete disbelief. She didn't want Valentina to hear her.

"What? Rhys, I swear, if you are drunk—" Valentina murmured into the phone.

Lilith's lips curved into a small pout at the sound of the woman's voice. Always soothing, always so pretty, even if she was tired or mildly annoyed. Lilith had the fleeting urge to snatch the phone from Rhys and shut him up—but she knew she'd probably make things worse.

"I'm not," Rhys shot back immediately, a smug smile tugging at his lips as he looked down at the blonde girl who seemed dangerously close to murdering him.

"Short, very blonde, might slap me in a second. Does that ring a bell?" he added, chuckling softly.

Lilith squinted, narrowing her eyes.

"Put her on the phone." Valentina's voice was crisp now, sharp with recognition and a trace of concern.

Rhys held out his phone. Lilith reached for it tentatively, as if it might bite or suddenly explode.

"Hi," she whispered.

The response she expected—soft, warm, a simple "hi" back—didn't come. Instead, faint background noises leaked through the line: the clink of keys, perhaps the rustle of clothes. Then Valentina's voice, now sharper.

"Where are you?"

Rhys was quick—not just to save Lilith from answering, but probably to savor tormenting Valentina a little more. He leaned closer to the phone, cigarette balanced between his fingers as he smiled. "Want to pick her up? There's no need—I'm feeling quite helpful today."

Valentina's response was a sharp, clipped "no," but it didn't matter. Rhys had already made up his mind. "No need to thank me. We're on our way. Love you."

Lilith wanted to disappear entirely.

?

"I hate you so much," Lilith whispered—or maybe whined—burying her face in her hands, letting her forehead press against her knees.

She could have refused, spun in the opposite direction.

But the truth,was that the punishment for refusal would be far worse than the humiliation she was already swallowing.

"You'll thank me later, love," Rhys said, his tone casual, almost playful, as he kept one hand on the wheel and turned his head to glance at her.

Rhys's car reminded her faintly of Valentina's, but Lilith didn't really care.

Her attention was reserved for the kind of cars Valentina drove or the ones she would actually like.

"If I kill myself, everyone will know it's your fault," she muttered, sliding her hand into the pocket of Daniel's sweatpants, fishing out her raspberry vape.

A shallow puff barely touched her lungs before she exhaled, wishing with all the force of her restless heart that she could fling open the door and vanish into the night.

It wasn't like she hadn't done it before.

When she was thirteen, mid argument with her father, she'd thrown open the car door while it was still moving and jumped out, carried by rage and the kind of reckless bravery children mistake for invincibility. Looking back now, she realized maybe she'd always been a little brat.

"Great. Guess I need to start writing my apology speech now," Rhys said shortly, the words almost swallowed by the sound of the engine.

Lilith glanced up, and her chest tightened.

The streets looked familiar—too familiar.

She remembered this path from the day she had taken an Uber to Valentina's penthouse, the way the city seemed to grow taller and sharper, with every turn.

Panic began pressing against her ribs, merciless, as she tried to rehearse an impossible conversation in her head.

"I'm trying to think what to say," she murmured, raspberry vapor slipping from her lips and curling through the dim space of the car.

"Be honest," Rhys said simply. It sounded cliché, maybe, but it landed with weight. Because if there was one thing Lilith had already learned—sometimes painfully—it was that being honest with Valentina Salvatore was the only possible choice.

"Okay... I'll try," Lilith whispered, her pulse racing as the skyline shifted, the familiar building drawing closer.

"Could you drive a bit slower?" she asked, the words desperate for just a fraction more time.

"Oh, of course, princess," Rhys replied, pressing his foot harder against the pedal.

The car surged forward. Lilith's breath caught in her throat but in a way, maybe it was better this way.

More minutes in the car and she might faint before she ever reached Valentina.

At least this way, it would be over sooner.

"Next time someone calls me annoying, I'll tell them to call you," Lilith muttered dramatically, her voice caught between a whine and a plea.

Rhys glanced at her briefly, his mouth curving into a genuine, almost affectionate smile, before his eyes returned to the road.

But Lilith didn't stop there. "And you know what I'll be honest with Valentina. I'll tell her how badly you make me want to die," she said, a single giggle breaking through.

Rhys's head turned sharply for a second, his eyes flicking towards her as he slowed the car just enough to make the gesture clear. "Okay, no. Better not to tell her that."

"Even as a joke."

Lilith blinked, furrowing her brows, confusion pulling at her expression and then she rolled her eyes softly, more for herself than for Rhys, and let the topic die.

She shifted in her seat, the motion restless, her fingers tugging at strands of hair she tried to smooth into something presentable. It was pointless—she knew no matter how she looked, Valentina would see her exactly as she was—but still, she needed the illusion of preparation.

The car slowed, then stopped.

For a moment, there was only silence. Rhys didn't rush her. He simply sat there, his gaze steady, as if giving her the permission to move when she was ready. That quiet attention carried an odd comfort—an acknowledgment that he knew this mattered to Lilith.

"If you were actually my Uber driver," she muttered, turning to him with a half hearted bite, "you'd get one star."

Rhys arched a brow. "You're truly the sweetest girl alive."

The retort warmed her despite everything, pulling a reluctant smile to her lips. She gathered the small pharmacy bag he'd paid for.

"Thanks. I try," she said softly, pushing open the door and stepping into the night.

And then she looked up.

The private residential tower stretched into the sky, glass gleaming with the reflections of city lights. For the second time in her life, Lilith stood at its base, and for the second time, she wondered if she belonged anywhere near it.

She forced herself inside, her steps carrying her quickly, almost desperately, to the elevator. Her fingers trembled only slightly as she keyed in the access code Valentina had once given her—carelessly, as if it meant nothing.

The doors slid open and she stepped in.

Possibilities swarmed in her chest, each one heavy with consequence. She couldn't imagine Valentina throwing her out, couldn't picture the woman dismissing her. No—that simply wasn't who Valentina was.

But disappointment... that she could imagine. And disappointment would ruin her.

Because it wasn't just about Valentina. It was about the way Lilith had always carried the weight of other people's emotions like they were her own, unable to stand being the cause of them, unable to face the mirror of someone else's hurt if it came from her.

The elevator climbed steadily, each floor number blinking higher and louder.

Just as Lilith expected, the door to Valentina's penthouse opened almost instantly the moment she stepped out of the elevator, as though the woman had been waiting on the other side.

Valentina stood there exactly as she did last time.

This time, her robe was also long and lacy, the delicate fabric tracing the curves of her frame with softness.

Only the color had changed—no longer black, but a deep, dark red that could almost pass for black unless one looked closely, a subtle shift that made her seem familiar and entirely new at once.

Her gaze swept over Lilith—up and down. In that silence, Lilith felt a flicker of offense stir in her chest, a prickly awareness of being quietly judged. Valentina's face held that subtle look of disapproval—the one that didn't need words to make her feel called out.

Without a word, Valentina opened the door wider.

Lilith slipped inside, lowering her head as if the movement could make her less conspicuous. She bent to untie her shoes, but before she could even unwind the ridiculously fluffy scarf from her neck, Valentina spoke for the first time.

"Come upstairs."

And just like that, she turned around, her robe swaying as she moved, expecting to be followed.

So Lilith followed.

Each step made her acutely aware of how absurd she must have looked, trailing behind Valentina in her outside attire. But the woman hadn't invited comments.

The path ended in her bedroom, glowing softly with warm light. A single candle flickered on the vanity, the scent of vanilla spreading gently through the air. Lilith's lips curled into an unconscious smile, her heart stuttering at the thought that Valentina also loved the same small thing she did.

But the moment her attention returned, Valentina had stopped.

Lilith reacted instinctively—she shrugged off her oversized leather jacket, unwrapped her scarf at last. Valentina reached for them without a word, folding the pieces neatly in her hands as though even this small ritual had to be done with some sort of elegance. Then she put them aside.

And just like that, Lilith awkwardly stood in front of Valentina.

Her weight shifted nervously from one foot to the other as she tilted her head, searching for some kind of cue—was she meant to speak first?

"Take off your clothes."

Valentina's command landed so abruptly that Lilith's entire body stiffened. Her eyes widened, nose scrunching in reflexive protest. "I'm sorry—what?"

"I said, take off your clothes."

Valentina's tone didn't waver. It wasn't playful, wasn't cruel.

It was matter of fact, delivered with the same composure she used to order wine or dismiss a meeting.

She moved towards the wall, fingers brushing against a wooden panel Lilith hadn't even realized concealed anything.

With a light push, it swung open, and warm light spilled into the room.

It wasn't just a wardrobe—it was an entire world of fabric, silks and lace and cashmere. Lilith had never seen so many clothes at once, let alone clothes so perfectly organised.

"You can wear something of mine," Valentina said, not looking at her, as though the explanation should be obvious. There was something in her tone that urged Lilith to move quickly, as if her hesitation itself were an inconvenience.

Lilith blinked, still caught between disbelief and a rising pulse of nerves.

The fuck was that request supposed to mean?

Did Valentina suddenly mind her outside clothes brushing against her sanctuary?

"Why?" she asked finally, her voice sharper than she intended, though her eyes were already scanning the wardrobe.

"Because I said so."

The response was so blunt, so strangely adolescent, that Lilith let out a startled laugh. For the smallest second, Valentina sounded less like a woman who terrified her and more like a teenager sulking over a curfew. The contrast was absurd.

"Um... I've already got a top underneath," Lilith said, her fingers tracing the edge of a hanger. "Do I have to change that too?"

"You don't."

By then, Valentina had crossed back to the bed. She lowered herself onto the edge with that unstudied elegance Lilith always envied, one long leg folding neatly over the other. She looked like a portrait.

Lilith's eyes landed on a pair of silky black shorts, the kind of thing meant for sleep, loose and weightless in her hand. She lifted them up for approval, her voice almost tentative. "Can I wear this? Looks nice."

Valentina's gaze lingered before she nodded once.

That left Lilith standing in the quiet with the shorts clutched in her hands. She waited, sure Valentina would rise, leave, close the door behind her. But the woman didn't move. She stayed seated, calm, patient, watching without watching.

"Can you... turn around?"

For a moment, Valentina didn't react, as if the request itself had to be considered. But then, with deliberate slowness, she turned her head, her shoulders, giving Lilith her back.

Lilith didn't waste time. She grabbed her vape out of Daniel's sweatpants pocket, then, in one quick motion, stripped the sweatpants from her legs and tossed them onto the floor.

The vape clinked faintly as she set it down on Valentina's vanity.

It looked silly among the expensive bottles of perfume.

The silk shorts slipped on easily, cool against her thighs, and when she tugged off the oversized hoodie, she felt a sudden rush of self consciousness.

She'd forgotten she hadn't worn a bra today.

The lacy white top with its delicate bow did little to shield her.

The fabric clung, her nipples poking through the thin material, the outline of her breasts far too visible.

Panic brushed her for a second, and instinctively she gathered her hair forward, letting the curtain fall against her chest like some last defense. Still, she had to admit—it felt cozy. Strange, but cozy.

Her gaze fixed on Valentina's back. The straight line of her shoulders, the way her robe framed her neck. Lilith swallowed and said softly, "I'm done."

She picked up the clothes and clutched them to her chest like a shield.

Valentina rose. This time, she didn't fold the bundle neatly. Instead, she left the room. The air felt oddly hollow without her.

Lilith blinked at the door, her pulse quickening.

Since when did Valentina act so strange?

Maybe Lilith fell asleep in her own apartment and was actually dreaming in that moment.

The door opened again. Valentina stepped back inside.

Lilith felt close to irritated.

Enough was enough.

"Can you please talk? You're scaring me," she blurted, eyebrows furrowed as she looked up at her.

For a beat, there was nothing. Then Valentina's lips parted around a single word. "Sorry."

It was so simple, almost careless, and yet Lilith felt it rattle through her anyway.

Valentina's eyes flicked towards the pharmacy bag Lilith had left by the bed. "What's in there?"

Lilith followed her gaze. "Just a few things to... take care of my cuts and bruises."

Valentina nodded once again. Then, without ceremony, she picked up the bag and set it on the vanity. "Let's take care of them then. Sit down."

Lilith's jaw tightened. She wanted to punch her. She'd expected conversation as soon as she'd stepped into this penthouse—not whatever this was.

But still, she sat down on the bed, watching as Valentina methodically unpacked the contents of the bag.

The only sound Lilith could let herself make was a soft, weary sigh.

"Val," she whispered as she glanced at Valentina sitting down on the edge of the bed beside her.

"Don't be like that, I'm begging you," she added. She felt as though she could fall apart right there, as though getting on her knees, lowering herself completely, might somehow make the tension lift.

Valentina let out a quiet, soft sigh herself. "Okay," she said. "Let's talk while I take care of these." Her long finger hovered briefly over the fresh cuts on Lilith's arms and the bruises tracing her back, precise but gentle, as though acknowledging the pain without judgment.

"Could you lift it a bit for me?" Valentina asked, placing her warm hand on Lilith's back.

Lilith hesitated for a heartbeat, then allowed a small, tentative smile to break through. She lifted her top just enough to reveal the bruises, turning around carefully so Valentina could reach them with ease.

"Can I start?" Lilith murmured, her gaze fixed on the soft carpet beneath her. Talking turned around felt easier this way—she didn't need to look at Valentina's face while spilling everything that had been sitting in her mind and heart.

"Yes," Valentina answered quietly, the faint sound of a gel tube being opened filling the room.

Lilith drew a shaky breath. "I'm a bit insane," she began, the words sounding ridiculous. She swallowed and tried again. "I mean... I do things that are questionable. Things that I know I shouldn't."

The words fell heavier now, closer to the truth. The cold gel touched her skin, Valentina's warm, long fingers spreading it with care, and Lilith felt a shiver run down her spine—not from the temperature, but from the exposure of herself, inside and out.

"I'm sorry. It's just... so awkward, talking about this.

What I want to say is that I think there's something wrong with me," Lilith murmured, the corners of her mouth trembling.

But then, to clarify what she had said—or more like to be sure of it—she admitted "No, there's definitely something wrong with me"

"What could it be, Lilith?" Valentina asked softly, guiding her without forcing her.

"It's just the way I feel. The way I see things. The way I react. I don't even know when it all went... wrong. Maybe I was always a little bit fucked up," she laughed ironically.

Valentina's voice was gentle but firm. "Don't call yourself that."

Lilith let out a quiet, defeated sigh. "Sorry," she murmured, almost inaudibly, letting the word linger in the space between them, empty.

The gel was already applied, and Valentina's hands moved gently across her back, almost massaging, almost therapeutic. As Lilith spilled everything she had been holding in, the quiet touch offered a subtle comfort, grounding her even as she laid herself bare.

So she continued again.

"I was on drugs when I called you. Which was wrong. I know it was wrong. I don't think I'm actually addicted though. I like the feeling sometimes, obviously. But it doesn't matter. I shouldn't have done it." Her voice caught, swallowed by a sudden tightness in her chest.

Valentina said nothing, her silence firm but patient, letting Lilith untangle the knots in her own words.

"I was in therapy for some time," Lilith said softly, shrugging her shoulders as though the confession were meaningless, even to herself. "Actually... I've probably had more than five therapists over my life. The last one was... great, though."

She wasn't sure why she was even saying it. Maybe the closeness of Valentina, the way the woman's hands moved over her skin—it all felt like permission to just speak.

"Why did you stop going?" Valentina asked gently, her fingers brushing against Lilith's arm, steadying it so she could turn around and face her. She left Lilith's top pushed up, letting the gel dry slowly on her back.

Lilith exhaled slowly, searching for the right words.

"I always say it was too expensive," she admitted, her voice uneven.

"But... I guess I just felt like it wasn't bring anything into my life.

It was nice, talking to someone... but I don't think I really wanted to change.

Even now... even if all of those things disappeared, I don't think I'd feel like myself anymore. "

Her eyes flicked towards Valentina's, trying to catch something solid in the pretty green gaze that was now focused on disinfecting the cuts on her arm. "Um I also... sometimes have moments where I act... not like myself. It's trulyso hard to explain."

A frown creased her brow. She wanted to spill everything, but the words threatened to choke her before they could form. And then, those eyes—her favorite pair in the world—looked up at her.

"Let's start with how you feel now, hmm?" Valentina's smile was soft, almost imperceptible, but it carried warmth and patience.

"I'm scared that you'll think badly of me. Which is..."

Valentina's hand paused for the briefest moment, then she finished the thought for her, her tone very much certain. "Impossible."

Lilith nodded, a small shiver running down her spine as Valentina pressed the tiny cute bandage onto the cut.

The act was simple, tender, and intimate—and now, for the first time since stepping into the penthouse, Lilith felt the quiet shift.

It was Valentina's turn to speak.

"I was very worried," Valentina said quietly, finally releasing Lilith's arm. "So worried... I felt mad. Furious, even."

"You can't do things like that and expect me not to react this way, Lilith," Valentina continued, her gaze unwavering and unflinching. Then, softer, almost trembling in sincerity, she added, "I'm ready to help you. Any way you need me to. Just tell me everything."

"And if I could, I'd lift everything from your shoulders and carry it on mine. No matter what it is."

Lilith's head tilted slightly, letting the words swirl inside her. The weight of the statement was both terrifying and comforting. She could feel warmth spreading slowly, softening the edges of the self loathing she'd carried for so long.

"You would?" she asked softly. It wasn't flirtation, wasn't play—it was the gentlest, most desperate question she could muster, laced with hope and disbelief.

She didn't wait for Valentina's answer. She just decided to add the most important thing that taunted her. "You just... cannot leave, okay?"

"What do you mean by that?" Valentina asked, leaning just slightly closer, her green eyes luminous, intent on understanding rather than judging.

"Like when you left me at my apartment..

. I don't like it. It makes me feel... the worst," The blonde girl admitted.

She wondered if Valentina would feel it the way she did—if Valentina was normal.

The thought carried a quiet envy that had little to do with Valentina herself and everything to do with everyone else.

Lilith often wished she could slip her feelings into their chests, make them live the weight of abandonment exactly as she did or even worse.

Valentina nodded slowly, her expression a mix of resolve and tenderness. "I won't then. I promise, sweetheart." she said, almost like a vow.

Lilith lifted her arm hesitantly, exposing her palm to Valentina. "When you left... I acted very weird. I kind of broke my mirror. I was just so mad at myself." she almost cringed remembering the night.

Valentina's eyes widened, a flicker of surprise and concern crossing her features.

She reached out carefully, wrapping her fingers around Lilith's hand.

The cut was pale now, almost healed, but the faint line made her frown.

A pang of guilt rose in her, sharp and sudden—she should have seen it sooner, should have been there sooner.

Lilith, deciding she had been open enough, prayed Valentina wouldn't press her with anything serious anymore.

She just wanted to feel her—to feel Valentina the way she always did.

There was something almost heavenly in it, the ease of her jokes, the familiar sound of her voice, the pure atmosphere that seemed to follow her everywhere.

She exhaled softly, closing what had been a cruel yet strangely comforting conversation. "Is there... anything else you want to know?"

Valentina let herself voice the question she had been holding back, curiosity gently laced in her tone. "Who's Daniel and Olivia?"

Lilith giggled softly, shifting from where she sat and letting herself fall forward onto the bed, her weight sinking as her face dropped into the pillow.

"Friends," she murmured, voice muffled by the pillow. "They study law, which is kind of ironic... I met them about a year ago. We don't see each other that often."

Valentina shifted, letting herself slide fully onto the bed as well, her back pressing lightly against the pillows. Lilith's head landed somewhere near the height of her hips, and Valentina didn't move it. A quiet closeness settled between them, warm and unspoken.

"I don't like them." Valentina admitted, the words soft but blunt.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Miss Salvatore. I'll immediately erase their existence for you," Lilith murmured, her tone half teasing.

It was finally starting to feel like them—just her and Valentina, stripped of everything else.

"Sweet," Valentina murmured, her hand moving lightly over Lilith's head, petting rather than caressing or playing with her hair. The gesture made Lilith feel like something closer to her personal pet—kept close, tended to, comforted.

Then came Valentina's next question—innocuous, absurd, and utterly comic.

"Did you put your seatbelt on while you were in the car with Rhys?" Valentina asked, her tone unusually serious.

Lilith's laughter broke free, loud and unrestrained. "Oh god... are you seriously asking me that?"

Valentina blinked, genuinely confused. "What's so funny?"

"Don't you rather know how we even came across each other?"

"I'll find out eventually," Valentina answered, though it was obvious it had something to do with the pharmacy.

"Of course you will."

"Did you, though?" Valentina asked once again, not letting the seatbelt topic die—almost as if she needed to know in a strange way that Lilith couldn't quite grasp

"No... sorry, mommy," Lilith joked, instantly realizing the word had slipped out, her cheeks warming in a flush of embarrassment.

Lilith buried her face slightly more into the pillow, horrified, at what she had just said.

"Okay... sorry," Lilith said, relieved that her face was hidden, that Valentina couldn't see the faint flush creeping up her cheeks. The only thing she registered was the subtle pause in Valentina's hand atop her head when she'd slipped the word mommy.

And then, as if propelled by sudden courage, Lilith pushed herself upright. "We should talk about something... more important than seatbelts."

"Which is?" Valentina asked, one brow rising, the slightest smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

Lilith shifted. She tucked her knees beneath her and straightened, trying to make her seem somehow braver. "Would you... maybe like to go on a date with me? Please?"

She expected a flicker of shyness, a stutter, maybe a flush of embarrassment—but none of that came. The thought had been turning over in her mind for days, taking shape so naturally that now it felt almost inevitable to speak it aloud.

"I would," Valentina said softly, her smile warm. There was something in her eyes—pride, perhaps, at Lilith daring to speak her heart aloud—and it made the blonde's chest tighten with a mixture of relief and awe.

Lilith bit her lip, exhaling, and then, words tumbling out almost without thought, continued, "Okay.

.. I've never really been on a date. Once, some woman asked me for my number.

.. and I started texting her a lot, and eventually she got annoyed and blocked me.

I think she just wanted to sleep with me, but I'm not sure. "

She wondered if it was even okay to talk about it—but after all, she and Valentina were going on a date soon. That alone felt like permission, didn't it? A quiet excuse to share things like this with a woman Lilith adored the most.

"Have you... been on a lot of dates? Were they fun?

Do you want to do the same things you've done before?

" She asked everything at once, folding question upon question into the air, a trembling proof of how inexperienced she was with romance, how unpracticed she was at exposing her heart.

"We can go somewhere you've already been on a date, if it's nice. "

Valentina squinted softly at what Lilith had said, her gaze lingering as if trying to measure the weight behind the words.

Why would she even consider bringing Lilith somewhere she'd been on a date with someone else?

Maybe this was just how the blonde haired girl approached things, her way of navigating closeness. She decided against commenting, a quiet caution holding her back, afraid a word might make Lilith shrink into embarrassment, or worse, question herself.

Perhaps it was a little adorable—how the girl so clearly wanted the date to work, even if her words hadn't landed quite right.

Valentina's gaze softened, "I have. And we'll go wherever you want, okay?" she said finally, calm and then added, "Don't stress too much, darling."

Lilith nodded, processing the words. She wasn't sure if she had thrown Valentina off with her nervous flood of questions.

She hadn't yet realized—couldn't yet understand—how fragile and unpredictable her heart would feel when faced with someone who mattered so deeply, someone whose attention and presence could shatter her in ways she hadn't known possible.

But how unlucky it was for this blonde haired angel that she had no idea yet how she would navigate her first real romantic interest, and all that came with it.