Page 42 of Under My Skin

Chapter Forty-Two

EVERETT

The creak I hear when I roll over is probably from the old wood floor, but as I stretch to ease the kinks, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were from my body.

Note to self, twenty-nine is too old to sleep on the fucking floor and not regret it the next day.

I groan as I sit up before trying and failing to rub some of the kinks out of my neck.

I squint against the sun, the pit in my stomach sinking.

I missed going for my morning ride. I have no idea what time I finally passed out, but it was late.

Going for an early morning ride has become such a habit that I haven’t set an alarm in months.

It’s the one thing that’s felt constant since my dad passed—it’s the one thing I’ve felt fully in control of.

Taking his bike out was my small, desperate way of keeping his memory alive, and I slept through it.

When was the last time I woke up? It’s not like I slept a solid eight hours.

I’ve been checking my phone all night. Did I even look at the time when I last checked, or was my only selfish thought to see if Lucy finally texted me back?

When’s the last time I checked it? Five?

Six? Did I even think about getting up and going for a ride in my sleep-deprived state? Or did I forget about it completely ?

The second thought makes me feel sick. How could I forget?

He did everything for me, and I can’t even keep his ritual alive?

Heat burns behind my eyes, but I don’t feel like I’m about to cry.

I’m fucking angry. I should have kept everything status quo.

Now I’ve not only betrayed Simon, but I’ve betrayed my dad, too.

I should have focused on the business. I should have let renovating the apartment take over my every thought.

I should have told her to take an Uber. I should have let her sleep on the couch.

I should have minded my own goddamn business and never let myself fall for her.

The last thought hits like a punch to the gut, but it’s true.

I’ve started falling for Lucy Blake, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Sitting up, I cross my arms on my knees and let my head fall forward, my thumb anxiously tapping the opposite arm.

How could I let this happen? Why does it have to be her?

Of all the people in the world, why does it have to be Lucy?

But as much as I want to fight it, I know exactly why. It’s the way she makes me feel lighter with a single glance, the way she isn’t afraid to go after what she wants, the way she is so unapologetically her. Just being in her presence makes me feel like I can do and be all of those things, too.

Despite my better judgment, I lift my head and check my phone again.

Still no text from her or Simon. I rub my eyes with the base of my palms. Fuck, I’m tired.

I wipe my hands over my face and get to my feet.

At least my bathroom is somewhat functioning at this point.

There’s a toilet, sink, and a shower without a door—apparently that gets installed later this week.

No mirror and no toilet paper, but for doing the bare minimum, it works.

Cupping my hands, I splash cold water on my face before drying it with my shirt.

There’s laughter and low voices from the shop below, and I pause to listen.

Hope surges in my chest, and I jog down the wood staircase, practically spilling onto the first floor.

Toni, Troy, and Alex all stand around the desk, their conversation paused by my less than graceful entrance. No Lucy. No Simon. No opportunity to fix things with either of them.

“Uh, are you okay?” Toni asks with an arch of her brow.

“I’m fine.” I run my hand through my hair because I have no idea what I look like right now, but I can almost guarantee it’s not great.

She scoffs a laugh. “You are not fine. You look like shit.”

I nod in agreement. “Thanks for noticing.”

Alex glances at the staircase behind me. “I didn’t know your place was done.”

“It’s not.” I rub the back of my neck and look around the shop. “Thanks for getting us ready to open.”

He nods but says nothing else. It’s Troy who fills the silence. “Hey, is Simon’s sister still in town?”

Shrugging on my jacket, I say, “Uh, yeah. She is.”

He grins. “Has she asked about me?”

I give him a weak laugh. “Can’t say that she has, Troy.” I reach for my keys. “I’m heading out. I’ll be back in a few hours. Hal and his guys will be here at some point. Let me know if there are any issues.”

Toni’s eyes narrow, and I realize she’s been surveying me for a little too long.

“Where are you going?” she asks casually as she looks over my schedule for today.

I only have a few simple tattoos planned for later this afternoon.

A mom wanting her kid’s initials and sisters getting some sort of infinity symbol they saw on Pinterest. It should be easy enough, and it shouldn’t matter that I’m exhausted.

“I have errands to run.”

She tilts her head, and I swear she can see I’m lying. “What errands?”

I shrug. “I need to get a few things for the apartment.”

“Okay,” she says, looking no more convinced. “You do that.”

Slowly taking a step toward the door, I mutter, “Thanks?” I’m too exposed with her looking at me like this. It’s like she can see every point of weakness and knows exactly how to identify each of them. I wave and all but run out the back door to get away from Toni’s piercing stare.

As soon as I’m outside and see my dad’s bike sitting in the alley, I can breathe a little easier. I run my hand over the seat and then reach for my helmet, but the shop door opens and closes behind me. My shoulders tense, and I freeze.

“Not so fast,” Toni says from behind me, and I stare up at the sky. “I need to see your face for this.”

Without turning around, I stare down at the helmet in my hands. “You really don’t,” I say, and go to put it on anyway.

“You slept with his sister, didn’t you?”

My heart plummets, and I slowly turn around. “What did you say?” There’s no way she could know something like that. How the hell does she know something like that?

Her eyes widen. “Oh, shit. You did.”

“I didn’t say that.”

She gasps and takes a step toward me. “Simon is pissed, isn’t he?”

I take a step back. “I didn’t say that either.”

She continues to close the space between us as she pieces it all together.

“Why else would you suddenly decide to sleep in an unfinished apartment when you’ve been staying at Simon’s for months?

All of a sudden you want middle-age back pain at the same time Simon’s adorable sister just happens to be in town?

” She gives me a leveling look. “Please. This was too easy.”

I do my best to hold her stare, but I’m getting more uncomfortable by the second. How did she do that? Do I stand my ground and lie to her? What would be the point? She’d probably know I was lying and walk away with the satisfaction of being right anyway. “I’m not middle-aged.”

“You’re close enough.” She crosses her arms. “So, why’d you do it? ”

Without answering her, I pull on my helmet.

I’ve changed my mind. There’s no point confirming what she already knows.

The last thing I need is for Toni to gloat over my misery.

My leg swings over the bike, but just before I can turn the key, there’s another audible gasp.

My head falls forward at the sound, and I wait for her incredible realization.

“Oh, shit. You really like her, don’t you?”

I sigh and gesture toward the main road. “Can I go now?”

Her eyes narrow. “Is she mad?”

“Can I go ask her and report back?”

She crosses her arms. “Can I say what I think? Because you need to hear it.”

I don’t bother stifling my groan. “Do I have a choice?”

The snappy comeback I was expecting never comes. Instead, her posture softens. “I’m serious.”

My own shoulders relax in defeat. “Okay. Let’s hear it.”

“No matter how mad she is—or how mad Simon might be—don’t fold. Sometimes you give up too easily.”

“I don’t do that.”

“You do.”

I think about her accusation, a frown settling at the corners of my mouth. “Maybe.”

She arches an eyebrow as if to say, See? and takes another step toward me. “Look, I’ve only seen you worse than this once, and it wasn’t over a girl if you catch my drift.”

I do. When my dad passed, I was barely functioning. I cancelled all my clients for weeks and only came into the shop to drown myself in office work. To be fair, my lack of sleep back then had nothing to do with sleeping on a hard floor, but I understand where she’s coming from. “Thanks, Toni.”

“Anytime.” She winks and heads back into the shop.

Releasing the clutch with one hand, my fingers wrap around the throttle with the other. The bike eases out of the alley, and when I stop to wait for traffic to clear, I force a deep breath. There’s a good chance this will be a shit show, but Toni’s right. I can’t walk away from this—not yet.

When the last car passes, I exhale and head toward Simon’s apartment.