Page 40 of Under My Skin

Chapter Forty

EVERETT

It’s killing me not to go after Lucy, but walking out on Simon would do more damage, and I think she knows that. At least, I hope she does.

“Why’d you do it,” Simon asks, and I don’t think Lucy’s parting words have softened him at all. It doesn’t matter that it was her idea to hide this from him. I still hid it. I’m still guilty.

Taking a seat in one of the waiting chairs, I wipe my palms on my thighs and lean against the back of the chair. “Does it matter?”

He crosses his arms over his chest. “What the hell does that mean? Of course it matters.”

“Well, it seems like you’d be pissed about it regardless, right?” I hold his stare, waiting for him to get to the same conclusion.

“She’s my sister,” he finally says. “And you’re supposed to be my best friend. If Lucy was going to be safe with anyone, it should have been you.”

My brows furrow. “Who says she isn’t?”

Simon scoffs. “Come on, you know she isn’t in her right mind. She tried to get a fucking tattoo for Christ’s sake.”

He isn’t telling me anything new but hearing him say it out loud makes me feel worse. “I know. ”

“So, why’d you do it?”

“I like her.”

“You like her,” Simon deadpans. “You’re not supposed to like her. This is fucking weird. You’re supposed to see Lucy the same way I do.”

I huff a laugh. “Well, I don’t.”

He glares at me. “You’ve known her forever. Why didn’t you tell me?”

With a shrug, I say, “I didn’t know.”

He looks up at the ceiling. “You didn’t know.” Looking back at me, he repeats, “You didn’t know?”

I rub both hands over my face. “I’m sorry. I should have talked to you. It just . . .” I shake my head. “It just happened. It wasn’t exactly part of the plan.”

He starts pacing. “Oh. Well, thank God for that. At least you taking advantage of my sister wasn’t part of your plan. It was just a happy accident, huh?”

My knees bounce, and I stare down at the shit laminate floor under my feet, covered in scuffs and scratches from years of wear. All it does is remind me that Lucy is supposed to help me pull it up. I was looking forward to doing it with her. Hell, I was looking forward to a lot of things with her.

Simon’s face hardens. “You’re going to hurt her.”

I stiffen. “No, I won’t.”

“You will.” He’s trying to seem casual, but the tick of his jaw would suggest otherwise. Let him be mad. I deserve it. Whatever he’s feeling right now, I deserve all of it. Before I can ask him to explain, he scoffs and says, “You’ll end up pushing her away.”

I lift my gaze. “I’m not?—”

“You will.” He stops pacing and looks down at me. “Hell, you’ve tried to do it to me, but I’ve always stood by you. I’ve always tried to understand. But Lucy?” He shakes his head. “I don’t understand this.”

I swallow and nod, surrendering to the fact that he’s already made up his mind. He doesn’t think I’m good for her, and maybe he’s right about that. For the past year, I haven’t exactly been in the right state of mind either.

“And she lives in Denver,” he goes on to say. “Unless one of you idiots is planning on moving soon, this shit was doomed from the start.” He shakes his head and mutters, “Fucking stupid.”

He’s not wrong there either. Lucy and I both knew whatever happened between us would be short lived. I just wasn’t trying to think about it. That was one of those things I’d deal with when the time came, and maybe that was stupid, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have real feelings for her.

Simon is still staring at me for an answer. “I didn’t want to think about it,” I confess. Getting to my feet, I add, “Look, you have every right to be pissed. I get it, but I would never hurt Lucy, and I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Sure.” Simon holds my stare, and I can practically see the millions of thoughts racing around in his head.

Eventually, he just shakes his head and turns toward the door.

Without looking back, he yanks it open. “Do me a favor, and stay away from my sister.” He leaves, and I watch him stride down the street until he’s out of sight, and by the time I hear him start his bike and ride away, I’m still standing in the middle of my dimly lit tattoo shop.

“Fuck,” I groan. I should have known not to give into what I was feeling.

I kept trying to keep the line in the sand clear, but Lucy would blur it every time.

She makes me want to reclaim my life when I hadn’t even realized I’d given so much of it up.

She has that way of making me think anything is possible.

Why would Simon care? We’re all adults.

And I believed her. I believed her because I wanted it to be true.

I believed her even though I knew better.

I unclench my fist, not realizing I was so tense, and shake out my hand as I walk to the door.

Locking the deadbolt, I turn back around and take in the quiet shop.

My sketchpad still sits on one of the chairs, and I grab it before walking back to the desk.

It’s still open to the sketch of Lucy sitting and working on the logo.

Even my rough drawing of her makes my chest ache.

Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I go to send her a text, but my thumbs hover over the keypad.

There are so many things I should say to her, but I can’t settle on one of them long enough to get a complete thought.

So instead of saying anything, I ask the one thing I keep coming back to.

Everett:

Are you okay?

I stare at the phone for a moment, but there’s no sign of her on the other end.

I hope Simon doesn’t hold a grudge against her for this.

Let him be angry with me, but Lucy doesn’t deserve it.

She’s already stressed about what’s happening to her family.

The last thing she needs is for her brother to be a dick.

With a sigh, I pull the chain on the small table lamp and embrace the dark.

Through the glow of the moonlight outside, I can barely see the staircase leading up to my apartment.

Hal and his guys painted the walls today, and the place still smells fresh.

I was looking forward to showing Lucy the final result.

The thought prompts me to check my phone, but she still hasn’t answered my text.

The place is looking more livable by the day, but I haven’t moved anything in here yet.

I probably should have. An air mattress would come in handy right about now.

Instead, I grab my jacket and lay it on the floor as a makeshift pillow.

Lying on my back, I rest my arms behind my head and stare out the window on the far back wall while the sound of passing cars does little to settle my thoughts.