Page 4

I realized what a mistake I had made once I woke up the next day.

My phone stayed powered off, so I never knew if he texted me.

However, I would still have to see him in 1st period.

I knew I couldn't miss school because I didn't want my parent's attention to be on me.

So, I wore a baggy black hoodie that I pulled over my head and wore headphones.

I blasted death metal in my ears so I couldn't hear anybody.

As I walked in I kept my head down and looked at the floor and headed to my seat.

I prayed that Ms. Parker would not make me take my headphones off.

I could have made up the excuse that I am autistic and I need them.

Well, it wouldn't be a made up excuse because I am autistic.

However, I didn't want people to know that.

The only person who knows is Amelia, and she swore not to tell a soul.

It's not that I was ashamed to be autistic.

I just didn't want people to stereotype me based on it.

I was already an outsider, and I didn't need nobody judging me more.

Once I got to my desk and dropped my bookbag beside me, I slid into my desk and pulled out my notebook.

I started writing to make it look like I was busy.

My music blocked out all the noise around me, so I was able to focus on my writing.

I decided to write a fantasy story about a werewolf king falling for a fae princess.

It was nice to distract myself from my thoughts.

The thoughts that cause chaos in my mind.

My fantasy was broken by a squeeze on my arm.

Anxiety flooded my body and I was too afraid to look up.

My hood was snatched down and I saw the face of my best friend.

She started to talk but I couldn't hear a word she said.

Realizing this, she pulled off my headphones next.

My music was so loud that I was sure that the entire class could hear it.

"Dang girl, you are going to go deaf because of this." Amelia said.

When I looked around the room, all eyes were on me. I heard a few giggles coming from some girls around me. I didn't look to my right. I didn't want to see if Dominic was there yet. Acknowledging his existence would give him an opening to speak to me.

"What's up with you today?" Amelia asked. Her eyes raked over my clothing with judgment. "You look like a wreck."

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes.

"Are you going to answer my question?" Amelia pressed.

"I decided to be emo today." I shrugged hoping she wouldn't press me further. But of course, she did.

"Did you not sleep last night, you have horrible dark circles under your eyes." She went on.

I reached up to touch my eyes. They did feel puffy. Since I rushed out of the house, I didn't even look at my face this morning.

"I actually slept too much. Probably thirteen hours. It was a wild night for sure." I laughed to make her worry less.

"Girl, you sleep like you're dead. I've never seen anyone who sees sleeping as long as possible as a challenge." She giggled.

"I managed seventeen hours one night over the summer. It took a good amount of melatonin, but it was totally worth it." I continued.

"Taking melatonin is definitely cheating. It's kind of like those bodybuilders taking steroids to get jacked." Amelia then came closer to whisper in my ear. "Probably like the freak sitting next to you."

Crap. He was there. Hopefully he didn't hear what Amelia said.

The bell rang and Amelia groaned. She begrudgingly walked away and went back to her seat.

I pulled my hood back over my head so it would block my side view.

Ms. Parker went to the front of the class and informed us that this unit we would be reading Hamlet.

Even though I was a big reader, I really didn't want to read Shakespeare.

It is so hard to understand, and I usually have to go online to understand what was going on in the story.

Suddenly, Ms. Parker locked eyes with me and she stopped what she was saying.

"I just want to remind you all that the dress code states that you are not allowed to wear hoods or hats on your head. The dress code has been the same since you started freshman year." She stated.

I sighed and slowly pulled off my hood. My anxiety all of a sudden overwhelmed me.

Even though my eyes were locked down at the desk, I was so afraid I would look next to me.

The intrusive thoughts flooded my brain.

Look. You know you want to. YOUR GONNA LOOK.

MOVE YOUR EYES. I covered my face with my hands and tried to control my breathing.

I considered running out of the room, but I didn't want to bring any more attention to myself. So, I tried to dissociate and rubbed the bandaids on my fingers. My daze was broken by the bell and a hand placed on my shoulder.

"Didn't you get my text?" A deep voice from beside me asked.

Dominic.

"My phone died and I forgot to charge it." I replied, still staring at my desk.

I could feel his presence beside me. A flood of warmth raked over my body. Instead of feeling anxious, I felt calm. As if my body wanted to trust him. But, my brain remembered the little boy biting me. My brain took over and I was anxious again.

"Can we talk at lunch? We have the same lunch period."

How did he know that? I whipped my head to the side to look at him. His icy blue eyes locked with mine, and just like yesterday they suddenly glowed gold. I jumped up from my seat and turned away from him. Am I seeing things? Surely I am not going crazy. Am I going crazy?

"I don't have a lunch period." I mumbled before I left the classroom.