Page 57 of Unconditionally Yours

We talk some more. I give him the edited version of my week, every time I didn’t lose my shit. I leave out the parts where I nearly did. No one bled. No one died. The bar is low and I’m still limboing under it.

He makes some notes, nods a lot, asks more questions I don’t really answer.

Eventually, he says our time’s up.

I need air. I need a cold shower. I need to stop checking every pink blur in my peripheral like it might be her, ready to throw glitter and ruin me again.

Session notes

Jett Appointment Two

Client Name:Jett Ryker

Session Date:August 2nd

Therapist:Rhys Hartwell, LMFT

Session Type:Individual, In-office (Court-Mandated)

Setting:Individual, In-office

Presenting Issue:

Client continues to struggle with emotional regulation, specifically around provocation and perceived disrespect. Strong aversion to vulnerability and authority figures remains consistent. Possible protective instinct at play, especially in reference to unnamed female subject. Client requested to discuss a recent altercation involving a former associate and an unidentified woman.

Session Summary:

Client arrived on time, appeared calm but guarded. Reported a conflict at the gym involving “Chad,” a known irritant, and a female associate who intervened physically. Client did not engage in physical violence and expressed this as personal growth, albeit in irreverent terms. Client was vague on details regarding the woman’s identity, but expressed both admiration and concern for her behavior, suggesting a deeper emotional attachment.

When prompted about journaling and other self-regulation strategies, client dismissed prior recommendations (e.g., conflict mediation) but acknowledged progress in restraint during stressful interactions. Denied overt aggression despitemultiple provocations over the past week. Humor used frequently to deflect. Continues to present as emotionally controlled but hyper-aware of internal pressure.

Client made veiled references to an intense interpersonal connection, possibly romantic or sexual in nature, though remained deliberately nonspecific. Multiple suggestive asides hint at conflicted emotions and possible possessiveness. Subtext suggests entanglement that may be emotionally destabilizing.

Intervention:

Validated client’s restraint and re-framed it as evidence of developing emotional control. Introduced idea of channeling aggression into structured, meditative creative activities (e.g., figure drawing). Client responded with sarcasm but showed interest. Normalized ambivalence toward self-expression and discussed benefits of stillness and presence in processing anger. Minimal redirection needed to maintain focus.

Clinical Impressions:

Client continues to present with hallmark features of unresolved trauma, possibly rooted in abandonment or betrayal. Defensive posturing and performative masculinity likely protective mechanisms. Despite overt cynicism, client demonstrates increasing insight into behavioral patterns. Emerging vulnerability when discussing unnamed woman suggests emotional risk he is not yet prepared to acknowledge. Protective instincts toward said woman could become a motivator for change or a destabilizing influence depending on the nature of the relationship.

Denial of her identity paired with physical descriptions and emotional tone implies romantic entanglement, likely recent, likely significant. Client’s refusal to offer specific identifiers may be rooted in shame, protectiveness, or fear of judgment.

No current indicators of harm to self or others. Client remains capable of self-monitoring and demonstrates insight, albeit laced with denial and sarcasm.

Next Steps:

Encourage continued journaling or alternative self-expression (e.g., sketching, nonverbal outlets).

Explore relationship dynamics in more detail as trust permits.

Revisit boundary-setting strategies, particularly regarding women who evoke strong reactions.

Monitor for signs of emotional dysregulation tied to interpersonal intimacy.

Assess readiness for deeper work on identity and vulnerability.

Clinical Shitshow