Page 41 of Unbroken (Poplar Springs #2)

THIRTY-NINE

FIONA

I was standing in a quiet corner of the barn, reviewing the upcoming reservations on the tablet with such focus that I didn’t hear the footsteps coming up behind me.

The season was in full swing, and the bookings were looking incredible.

I had to admit that Josh restarting these trail rides was the best thing he’d ever done for Lost Valley’s finances.

And the reviews and tags we were getting on social media were amazing; especially all the happy faces.

At the pace reservations were coming in, we might need to hire two or three trail teams to handle all the riders.

“Hey.”

I jumped and whirled around.

“Eli! You scared me.” I held the tablet up. “I was doing some forecasting. We’re busier than ever.”

“We sure are.” He gave me a tight smile. “Speaking of that … do you have a few minutes to talk?”

This was my chance. I’d been trying to figure out the best time and place to broach the subject of a future together.

Even though I’d wanted it to be in private and not in a work setting, looking at him made me realize that I couldn’t wait another second.

Whether the results were good or bad, I was taking Josh’s advice and telling Eli how I felt about him.

I set the tablet down on the nearest stall wall. “I do, but if it’s okay with you I’d like to go first. I have something I want to say and if I wait much longer, I might not say it.”

His brow furrowed. “Okay, sure.”

“Listen, Eli … I know you got the job in Half Moon.”

He started to talk, but I held up my hand to quiet him.

“Please, let me keep going.” I smiled as my nerves kicked up.

“I realize that it’s a great opportunity for you and Patrick, and I understand why this fresh start is so important to you.

But before you pack up and leave, I wanted to be real with you—which, as you know, isn’t always something I’m very good at doing.

” I took a deep breath. “I know our relationship started off as fake and that you didn’t want to do it to begin with, but …

it’s become real to me, Eli. So real. I always knew we were good together.

I mean, our school rivalry and competitions never would have been as epic as they were if we weren’t at least a little in sync with each other.

But never in a million years did I envision that you and I would be such a great match in other ways, but we are .

I care about you so much, Eli. And I hope you feel the same way, which is why I’m asking you to reconsider leaving. ”

There was a moment of silence that felt as if it dragged on for too long.

I wanted to fill it with something inane.

Instead, I searched his face, trying to decipher the thoughts running through his head.

Was he caught off guard? Was he surprised that I’d admitted how I felt? Did he not feel the same ?

Eli’s posture shifted as he got ready to respond. He looked as though he wanted to reach for me but was holding himself back.

“Fi … wow. That means a lot to me that you opened up like this.” The tenderness in his face filled me with hope. “And I care about you too, more than I ever thought possible.” He chuckled. “Kinda strange, right?”

I laughed with him, feeling tentatively hopeful. “I never could’ve predicted it.”

“But Fiona … I can’t stay.”

His words didn’t make sense for a minute. He said he cared for me, so why was he still leaving?

“It’s this town,” he explained. “Everywhere I go around here, there are reminders of everything that’s wrong about my past. Patrick and I do need a fresh start, away from the gossips—and also away from my father, after everything he’s put Patrick through.

You were at dinner with us when he came over to our table.

You witnessed all those backhanded compliments he was directing at us and how withdrawn Patrick got every time my father looked his way.

It’s not healthy for Patrick to be around that, or around the gossips.

He’s getting to be old enough to understand what people say about his mother.

He deserves to have a positive relationship with Charlotte without the interference of others. ”

“So … you’re still leaving?” I asked in a quiet voice.

He nodded, his mouth in a tight line. “Yeah.”

Well, this didn’t go at all how I imagined it. I felt overcome by emotions: sadness, anger, loss… but embarrassment was the strongest. I’d confessed the way I felt about him only to have him say they were still leaving, which told me his feelings for me weren’t strong enough to keep him here .

A part of me knew I was being selfish. All of the things Eli said about his concerns for Patrick were valid and understandable but could he also not see that we were better together?

Whether on the trails or in bed together, we made a great team.

Wouldn’t that be good for Patrick—to have his dad in a strong, happy relationship?

I could only come to one conclusion and I didn’t like it.

Eli didn’t feel the same about me as I did him.

“Hey, we’ve had a great run together,” Eli said as he moved closer to me.

I took a step backward and crossed my arms, staring just beyond him. “Yup, we did.”

He frowned. “You’re upset.”

“How could I not be, Eli?” I asked in an exasperated tone. “I just bared my soul to you, and you basically drop-kicked it away.”

“What do you mean? I told you I care about you too.”

“Exactly, and yet you’re still leaving, so clearly you don’t care that much.”

And he hadn’t even mentioned trying to keep things going long distance. I wasn’t about to bring it up and get my hopes crushed again.

“Fiona.” He strode to me and gently grasped my arms. “Don’t be like this. Stop.”

He held my gaze, then moved closer, one hand sliding up my back to draw me near.

“No, you stop,” I said as I pulled away from him, hoping my voice sounded steady. “I can’t do this. ”

His face fell as he watched me pace. “Can’t we just keep things the way they were until I go?”

“Why? If you’re so sure you need a fresh start, what’s the point of keeping this going?

No matter what, the outcome is the same: you’re leaving.

” And I’m staying here without you. “And you clearly don’t trust the strength of our relationship to discuss anything long distance.

I don’t want to keep investing myself in what’s essentially a dead end. ”

I could feel the tears coming, but I didn’t want to break down in front of him.

“Well,” Eli said, sounding thoughtful, “if you want to be totally honest about everything, then … yeah. Our relationship started off as a way to curtail some of the gossip about me, so it basically started with a lie. And as things started to get more … intense between us … you know, us sleeping together, I still couldn’t tell if you had real feelings for me or if it was all still an act for you. ”

“You’re blaming this on me ?” I squeaked out.

“No, there’s no blame here. I’m simply telling you how I feel, Fiona.”

“Better late than never,” I muttered under my breath, not caring whether he heard me.

“I just think this is for the best. For both of us.” Eli let out a jagged breath. He looked like that wasn’t what he really wanted to say, but if we didn’t stop talking, I was going to cry—and there was no way I was letting him see how much he’d hurt me.

I grabbed the tablet and held it pressed against my chest like a shield. “Right then, good chat.” I turned to leave. Eli reached out to touch me but I flinched away. Touching was a bad idea.

“Fiona, I?— ”

“—have plans that don’t involve me. I get that. Now, if you excuse me, there’s something … I … uh …” I gave him an awkward wave and jogged out of the barn before the tears fell. Dammit, Josh, why did you let me think this was a good idea?