Page 26 of Unbroken (Poplar Springs #2)
TWENTY-FOUR
ELI
“ H ey, Daddy, am I clever?”
Patrick and I were hanging out in the family room after dinner. For a change, my son wasn’t begging to use my phone and was instead looking at a toy catalog, circling things he wanted for his birthday. He held the pen in the air, frozen while he waited for an answer.
The question stopped me in my tracks. My father had always said the Carter men had clever and nimble minds, and it used to drive me crazy.
It was part of the impossible standard my father had forced upon me—a justification for his unreasonable demands that I always get straight As, even in subjects that I struggled in or that bored me silly.
I didn’t want a four-year-old to worry about whether he was good enough.
In fact, I never wanted him to worry about that. Ever. At any age.
“Where did you learn that word?”
Patrick shrugged and looked down at the catalog.
“Do you know what it means? ”
He shook his head slowly.
“It means that you’re smart and quick to learn new stuff, and I definitely think you’re both of those things. Don’t you?”
Patrick raised his shoulders in a tiny shrug again.
“Bud, you figured out how to make that whole LEGO village! I couldn’t even do that. And you remember all the words to that one song … what’s the name of it again?” I squinted my eyes and snapped my fingers. “Gosh, I keep forgetting it.”
“Daddy, the song ‘Baby Shark’ is for babies! I don’t even like it anymore.” Patrick said and laughed.
“Wow, sorry, little dude. You’re definitely not a baby. You’ve got kindergarten coming up, which means you’ll learn a bunch of new songs, learn lots of new things, and make new friends. Are you excited?”
“I don’t know.” The happiness drained from his little face. “A little?”
I scooted across the couch and closer to where Patrick was sitting. “You’re gonna do great, don’t you worry. I believe in you.”
“Do you think Fiona thinks I’m clever?”
“Oh, I’m sure she does. In fact, I’d bet money on that, bud.”
Patrick didn’t say anything but instead jumped up and threw his arms around my neck.
We hugged in silence for a few minutes as I worried about how the double challenge of a move plus starting a new school would impact my sensitive son.
I wasn’t going to bring it up until I was sure about the job, though.
“Does your belly hurt right now?” I asked, still clutching him.
“Nope.” Patrick leaned back and gave me a triumphant smile. “Can I use your phone now, Daddy? ”
“No, sir, I’ve got a little work to do tonight. Keep picking out toys.” I pointed to the discarded catalog.
“Will I get all of the ones I pick out?” he asked, bouncing on the couch.
“Maybe.” I peered at the catalog. “Hold on, it looks like you circled every single thing in it, greedy boy!”
He giggled and I reached over to tickle him.
“Okay, I’ve got a few things to take care of before bath time,” I said, righting myself as Patrick crawled back across the couch to the catalog. “Once you finished circling everything in the catalog, please go back and find things you’re sure you want, okay, bud?”
“But Daddy, what if I do want everything?” The sassy look he was giving reminded me of Fiona right before she started some trouble.
I pretended to think it over before answering.
“Okay, how about this? Why don’t you prioritize which ones you want?
Do you know what that means?” Patrick shook his head and I grinned at him.
“It means figuring out which toys you want the most and those you’re only a little bit interested in. Make sense?”
“Yes, Daddy.”
I pulled out my phone and shot a sideways glance at my son who was now sitting with a thoughtful look on his face, complete with the tip of his tongue popping out of the corner of his mouth as he made new scribbles in the catalog.
It was a ridiculous thought, but I couldn’t help wondering. How would the two of us do in Denver instead of Half Moon?
I knew the answer before I even asked the question of myself.
Denver was crowded and busy, and the city had no use for ranch hands.
Out of curiosity, I looked for ranching positions and couldn’t find any even close to the city, then I looked up apartments and condos and felt a little sick over the prices.
And not just that … the space . Or lack thereof.
My life was the great wide open, in a place where I could walk outside at night and see every single star in the blue-black sky.
The Carters were not city folk. I wanted my son to grow up with an appreciation of nature and horses and honest folks who worked hard on the open land.
I stopped myself. Fiona definitely worked hard in her city job, but it was a different kind of work, the type I wasn’t suited for.
And seeing how happy she was as she pulled her weight at the ranch, I had to wonder if she was still suited for city life—especially when she seemed to thrive here at home.
Fiona. Damn, I needed to stop thinking about her and what our lives might be like if we both stuck around.
She was making decisions for her future based on what was best for her, just like I had to do the same for myself and Patrick. Fiona wasn’t thinking about me at all. The kiss we’d shared had been nothing more than a blip on her radar screen and already forgotten.
I wished I could say the same for me. Every time it crossed my mind, I felt a shock roll through me.
I’d kissed my old nemesis and liked it. Really liked it.
Ever since then, I found it hard to concentrate when Fiona was around, but she seemed oblivious to what I was feeling, so I did my best to stomp out the embers like an old campfire.
This corner of Colorado held too many unhappy memories for me. I needed to get the hell out of Poplar Springs and start over in Half Moon for my sake and Patrick’s. Sure, it was going to be tough in the beginning, but we’d get through it together.
I nodded to myself and scrolled to the job portal where I’d sent the application Fiona had helped me fill out.
Still nothing, but the application and resume had been received and processed, whatever that meant.
I had a good feeling about it, aware that I was more than qualified and had stellar recommendations.
So why was there a tiny part of me that hoped I wouldn’t get it?
The answer to that question was obvious. While my brain was screaming at me to get a fresh start somewhere else, my heart kept asking, why couldn’t we stay here and start over?