Page 9 of Two Nights with the Duke (Cherish and the Duke #3)

S everal hours later, while Jocelyn remained by her mother’s bedside spooning broth into her mouth now that she was feeling a little better, Malcolm insisted her father join him for an ale in the common room. There was nothing either of them could do here, so he would not allow Lord Granby to come up with more excuses to delay their chat.

They walked downstairs together. It was early evening, and the sun was beginning its slow descent upon the horizon. Mr. Farrell was standing on a chair, busily lighting the candles on the wall sconces as Malcolm and Lord Granby entered and took an open table in a far corner. The tables of golden oak took on a reddish hue as candlelight illuminated them.

Mr. Farrell moved on to light a blaze in the fireplace that took up most of one wall, and had a massive wooden mantel that stretched across the entire length of it.

Jocelyn’s father tossed out the first question the moment they settled at their table in the busy room. “Camborne, whatever possessed ye to marry my daughter?”

“Haven’t quite figured that one out yet,” Malcolm admitted, knowing her father would never believe he had fallen in love with his daughter at first sight when he did not even believe it. But that was mostly his being stubborn and unwilling to admit anyone could ever gain such control over his heart. “But I like her, Granby. My intention is to make this marriage real.”

Granby shook his head. “I wish I could believe ye.”

“Jocelyn is the one who needs to believe me. In truth, I dinna care what anyone else thinks of our marriage or of me.”

“She likes ye, Camborne. I’ll give ye that. She said ye’ve been honorable and protective of her. So I’ll have to thank ye for taking care of my lass.”

Malcolm nodded. They remained quiet a moment to enjoy the ales one of the maids set before them.

As silence extended between them, Malcolm decided now was the time to get to the heart of the matter. “How much of Jocelyn’s dowry did ye take for yer own use?”

Her father set down his mug with a thunk, almost spilling it. “Are ye accusing me of stealing from my own daughter?”

“No, I would simply call it appropriating…or borrowing. The funds were yers to do with as ye wished before ye had them set aside for Jocelyn’s dowry. But having set that goodly amount aside and then letting it be known she was to receive this upon her marriage… What I dinna understand is why ye failed to say anything to her or Ballantry when ye knew that ye no longer had it to give to her?”

“It is none of yer business, Camborne.”

“On the contrary, it is entirely my business now that I am her husband. Ye stayed silent and let her enter into that misbegotten betrothal. Did ye have no care for what Ballantry would do to Jocelyn once he found out she had come to him penniless?”

“I would have taken care of the situation,” Granby mumbled.

“How? He only wanted her for her money, and ye were about to send her to him without so much as a ha’penny. Once married, there would have been nothing ye could do to protect her from his wrath.”

“What will you do to her, Camborne? Isn’t this the more important question, since ye’re the one who married her?”

Malcolm frowned. “Me? Nothing. I dinna have a care for her wealth. Or rather, her lack of it. I married her because…”

Bollocks.

He was about to say he married her because he loved her, but that was absurd. He liked her and had rapidly grown used to having her around. It could not be denied that he had formed an attachment to her, but he could not and would not admit to having developed feelings for her beyond this.

“I married her because she needed me to do it.”

Granby shook his head. “That makes no sense. If ye never met her until she arrived here, then what cause would ye have to care what happened to her at all? Or have ye known each other longer and had this planned all along?”

“Planned?” Malcolm swallowed his ire. “Ye think I planned for her to attach herself to that toad, Ballantry? And then was I supposed to leave her at his mercy once she went through with the ceremony?”

“But she dinna go through with it,” Granby pointed out. “And to answer yer earlier question… Ye have no idea how stubborn Jocelyn can be. Once she had set her mind to marrying Ballantry, nothing was going to dissuade her. I had hoped including those terms about his moral behavior in the contract would end matters, but it didn’t. Nor did I believe Ballantry would do her serious harm, although my opinion of him has changed, as we’ve been thrown together chasing my daughter these past few days. Turns out he is not the man I thought he was.”

He sighed. “I was glad she ran off, because the bounder would have made her unhappy whether or not she came to him with a proper dowry.”

“Ye should have been honest with her from the start. Lucky for her that she did run off, though her timing was not the best.” Indeed, Ballantry got exactly what he deserved, but it had been a dangerous thing for Jocelyn to run off on the very morning of her wedding.

Her father frowned. “Are ye going to blame me for her reckless escape?”

“Ye contributed to it, so dinna bother to deny it. She might have been accosted or murdered while making her way to Aberdeen without sufficient funds for travel or a decent meal—and dressed in her wedding gown, no less. She was forced to endure cold nights without heat or food. Do ye still believe I helped her plan this? Och, aye. That surely was a brilliant plan on my part, to make her suffer through all that. Do ye really think I would put the woman I love through this ordeal? Er, assuming we had a relationship?” Malcolm took a sip of his ale to calm himself down, because he was unreasonably riled by the thought of Jocelyn coming to harm.

And more riled by the fact she had already found her way into his heart.

Her father was trying to deflect attention from her lost dowry by blaming Jocelyn for the misbegotten betrothal and then running away. But this was only inflaming Malcolm’s ire. “Granby, had I set eyes on yer daughter earlier, rest assured I would not have let Ballantry win her hand. I would have stepped forward to marry her myself.”

Granby guffawed. “Right, ye expect me to believe ye would have seriously courted my daughter?”

Malcolm shrugged. “Believe what ye will. I married her, didn’t I?” He leaned forward and regarded Lord Granby with all solemnity. “What did ye do with her dowry? And how were ye going to deal with Ballantry so that he did not beat Jocelyn senseless when he learned he had been deceived? Or are ye still in denial that he would have treated her so brutally?”

“Ye dinna know the dowry’s all gone,” Granby said with a growl. “In fact, I’ve a mind not to give it over to ye at all. Why should I when ye likely ruined my daughter before ye wed her? Ye and Jocelyn have caused me harm, and ye’ve caused me and her mother a mountain of grief. I owe ye nothing.”

“Are ye that eager to break yer daughter’s heart? Ye’ll break it for certain when she realizes ye consider her no better than a common harlot. That’s what she’ll believe, and all because ye refuse to admit ye’ve cheated her out of her dowry. Granby, stop blowing hot air at me and just tell me the truth. I’ll not be harming Jocelyn no matter what ye tell me. But if ye wish to keep yer daughter’s respect, then let me help ye.”

“Help me?” Granby’s ears perked. “What are ye suggesting?”

“She doesn’t need to know ye touched any of it. How much of her dowry did ye take?”

“Are ye offering to replace it?” He stared at Malcolm in confusion. “By heaven, ye are! Why would ye do such an absurd thing? Ye dinna know me. Ye owe me nothing. And yet ye would allow my daughter to keep her love and respect for me? Why, Camborne? I dinna understand it.”

Nor did Malcolm, if truth be told.

But it did not take great perception to see how much Jocelyn loved her parents. He was doing this for her and the sake of their family unity. Having lost his own, he fully understood how precious it was.

“Tell me what the shortfall is and I’ll see it replaced, but I will do this only on the condition that ye then hand it straight over to Jocelyn. She can do with it as she wishes. I’ll make the arrangements as soon as I deal with Ballantry and get his claim out of the way. Until then, simply tell Jocelyn the dowry stays where it is until there is a settlement with Ballantry.”

“Och, what are ye planning to do about his settlement?” Granby asked before downing the last of his ale. “I’ll contribute whatever I can. In truth, ye’ve made me even more ashamed of my behavior. But ye dinna understand how it is between me and my daughter. She’s always looked up to me, thought I was the wisest man alive.”

He wiped his eyes as tears began to form. “It was my pride, my stupid pride that held me back from admitting I had made a bollocks of our finances. I kept it from my wife, too. But I had to tell her the situation once Jocelyn ran off. This is why her heart’s been acting up, having to worry not only about Jocelyn’s safety but what’s to become of us now that we are teetering on the brink. I’ll get it sorted out in time, for not all the investments were bad. Several are still profitable, although barely.”

“Then ye’re not completely wiped out?” Malcolm did not know if he could believe the man.

“No, not wiped out…yet. Hopefully, I can salvage some assets. So, there it is. I have little available to contribute toward buying off Ballantry at the moment. It’s all in the bloody bad timing of it. As I’ve said, I’ve made a string of unwise investments and am presently strapped. Dinna tell Jocelyn, please. These were deals she advised me against taking. Turned out she was right. But I was a stubborn dolt and would no’ take advice from the lass. She’s smart, ye know.”

“Glad to hear it.” Malcolm did not doubt that Jocelyn was book smart and perhaps had good financial instincts, but she was unwise as to the harsher ways of the world. Perhaps this was why he felt such an overwhelming need to protect her.

“Ah, speaking of my daughter,” Granby said, staring at the doorway, “here she is now. Ye canno’ breathe a word of this to her.”

“I won’t. Is this not the entire point of our discussion?” Malcolm’s heart shot into his throat as he spied her lovely form approaching. Her smile was dazzling as she started toward his table.

Her father slapped his hands to his thighs. “We’ve had a good talk, Camborne. I’m thinking perhaps I misjudged ye. Well, take care of my lass. Now that she’s down here, I had better go upstairs and tend to my wife.”

Everyone in the common room was staring at them—not surprising, since gossip was rampant and they were trying to make out what was really going on. Malcolm was no longer concerned about Jocelyn’s reputation, since it was plain to see that her parents had joined them and were referring to the lass as his wife. In any event, this morning’s hasty marriage ceremony had protected her from the worst of the gossip. However, everyone had to be wondering about Ballantry’s role in this affair.

Malcolm did not really care what they thought of him or the jilted bridegroom. But he would not countenance any insults whispered about Jocelyn.

She walked toward him with the sweetest smile on her face and took the seat he offered as he rose to greet her. “How is yer mother faring, lass?”

“Better, thank you. She is sleeping for the moment. Her breathing’s less strained.”

He settled down beside her. “And what about yerself?”

She shook her head and sighed. “I’m fine now that I know she is out of danger. But what a terrible wedding day it has turned out to be for you. I’m so sorry for all of this.”

“No, sweetheart. Never ye worry about me.”

She took his hand when he held it out for her. Hers felt soft and delicate as he wrapped it in his. This seemed to please her, for her eyes lit up like silvery moons at this small gesture of affection. “But I want to worry about you. May I not do this? You are my husband now, and this day has been nothing like a wedding day ought to have been.” She cast him another sweet smile that touched his heart with its sincerity. “Do not be angry with me.”

“Jocelyn, I assure you that I am not.”

“Then you are a finer man than I already believe you are. I’m very happy I married you. Do you mind that I am admitting this? However, I am truly sorry that I have upended your fishing plans.” She cleared her throat. “What shall we do? I know you intended to go to your lodge for several weeks of peaceful contemplation, and then we considered stopping in Aberdeen first. But my mother is in no fit shape to travel just yet. Nor do my parents have transportation, since Ballantry has stranded them here with us.”

“What do ye care to do?”

She glanced down at their hands, for he was still holding hers. “I want to stay with you, if you will allow it. Wherever you choose to go and no matter how long you decide to stay there. I would like my place to be with you.”

“Then so it shall be. We stay together, whether here or in Aberdeen or in the wilds of Northern Scotland.”

Her eyes widened. “Truly?”

“Aye. This seems to surprise ye. Had we not decided upon this already?”

She nodded. “Yes, but that was before my parents showed up, and we were never looking further ahead than one month. I was afraid this morning’s turmoil had changed everything. But I am relieved. I thought I would have difficulty convincing you to keep me with you.”

“Blame it on my protective instincts. Ballantry’s a rogue, and I dinna trust him not to hurt ye.”

“I doubt he will try anything now. But I was afraid you’d had enough of me and the theatrics that seem to follow me around.”

“Ye thought I would give up on ye after less than a day of marriage? Why? Because ye’re believing what yer father and Ballantry said? That I am a womanizing hound and will have no regard for the woman I take as my wife? So ye’re believing what the others are saying about me and waiting for me to abandon ye at the slightest hint things are not going as I expected?”

“No! Of course not. Well…something like that,” she admitted, blushing. “But also because this marriage was not freely made. You cannot deny it, Camborne. For whatever odd reason, you decided I needed protecting and that you were the man to do it. Ours is not a love match, or even a business arrangement, nor was there ever a contemplated family alliance. Which leaves me at a loss to understand your continued indulgence of all I have put you through.”

“Dinna think too hard about it.”

She laughed softly. “I know you believe I am not a planner, but that is not really true. I think and fret over everything…other than my botched escape from my own wedding to Ballantry, which was accomplished without any forethought whatsoever. Why are you so calm about all of this? Our situation has me fretting endlessly. Not only do you have an unwanted wife, but you now have her parents as an added burden.”

“Jocelyn, there’s yer mistake.”

She looked at him once again, her lovely, big eyes questioning. “What do you mean?”

Perhaps this was not the best place to talk about his reasons, for they were deeply personal, and the wounds he had been carrying since childhood had yet to heal. “Take a walk with me.”

She nodded and immediately rose, taking his arm as they walked out. There was something in the little things she did that pleased him, even something so small as placing her arm in his, that seemed to be done on natural instinct.

She did it because she liked him and felt close to him. She was not thinking of flaunting their connection or putting herself above others. She was not pretending to claim him as her property, or attempting to demean others with her superior status, or attempting to ingratiate herself with him.

There was no guile, no scheming involved.

There was simply Jocelyn.

And she liked him.

He did not know if this was the reason he felt he could confide in her. Gaining his trust should not have been this easy for her to do. Was she even aware how much he already trusted her? Perhaps there was something in the way she looked at him that brought out something in his heart that he had believed lost for all time. She admired him and considered him to be heroic, which he decidedly was not.

But it was nice to be looked upon kindly.

And would he ever tire of her sweet smile?

The night breeze had a little bite to it, so they hadn’t walked far before he and Jocelyn returned to the inn. He waited downstairs while she ran upstairs to fetch her shawl. His heart seemed to turn lighter when he saw her hurrying down a moment later. She looked so happy to be in his company. Yes, most ladies felt this way, but only because they expected expensive trinkets out of him.

Jocelyn had yet to even ask him about the financial terms of their marriage. Not a thought about the allowance he would provide for her clothes, jewels, a carriage, a London townhouse, servants, and general spending money.

None of it. These questions did not appear to be on her mind at all.

Perhaps this was inconsequential to her because she believed she had ample funds of her own to use for those purposes. Still, marriage to him meant he now had control of her assets. She knew this, and yet she was not questioning him about his intentions.

Did she trust him that much?

She was ridiculously appreciative of all he had given her these past few days, and perhaps assumed his generosity would continue. After all, he had made quite a fool of himself in spending on her wardrobe. She knew he was rich.

Still, he doubted that she cared. Despite having been raised an earl’s daughter, she did not have expensive tastes and seemed remarkably appreciative of the simpler things life had to offer.

They strolled toward the harbor, their path illuminated by the village lights and a silvery moon now visible as twilight settled over the harbor. He wrapped her in his arms as they stood by the dockside, for even her shawl was not sufficient to keep her warm against the cooling wind.

“Explain it to me,” she said as they stood side by side looking out upon the shimmering water. “Why are you so solicitous of me, especially considering the demands I’ve placed on you?”

He tucked a finger under her chin to turn her face toward him and kiss her lightly on the mouth. “Ye’ve made no demands on me,” he reminded her. “What I’ve done has been of my own accord.”

She wanted to disagree, but he kissed her again.

Perhaps it was not something he should have done so openly, but there were few people out here now, for the fishermen tended to rise early and retire early. The market stalls that thrived in the daylight hours were all shuttered now.

There were a few taverns close by that seemed to be busy, but Malcolm was not worried about the patrons of these establishments. The hour was still early and most would not be drunk yet. Still, he did not intend to keep Jocelyn out for very long—just long enough to reveal a little of what was in his heart.

But where was he to start?

Start at the beginning, ye arse.

Yes, he had to tell her all of it. She would find out the truth eventually, and he did not want her leaving him once he was so deeply in love with her that his heart might never recover. He had to tell her the worst of it, and then deal with the consequences.

“Ye’re curious to know why none of today’s events have sent me running,” he said, opening the conversation.

Jocelyn nodded. “You’ve been so kind to me and my family. No one else would have done this.”

He laughed bitterly. “Lass, this is because no one else has suffered under the burden of…”

“Of what?”

She was looking up at him with such trust that he could not bear it.

“I killed my family.” Having made the declaration, he let out a whoosh of air. If felt as though he had been punched in the gut. This was what had haunted him all these years. He never spoke about it, had not even dared to mention it to Bromleigh or Lynton, two men who were as close as brothers to him. “My parents. My siblings. All of them dead, and it was my fault.”

She inhaled sharply. “How? Did they not die when you were a little boy? This is what you told me.”

“Aye, I was a lad of six at the time. Do not ask me how it happened or why it happened, for I could no’ tell ye. All I know is that I was the one who brought home the infection that killed them all.”

He was surprised when she gave him a light shove. “Do not tell me you have been blaming yourself for this horrible thing all these years? You were six years old. Six. No child is ever to blame at that tender age. And how do you know that you were the one to bring it into the family?”

“I was the first to come down with it.”

“So what? They might have been infected at the same time as you but took longer to develop symptoms because they were older and had acquired more resistance.”

“No, I gave it to them. That’s what the doctor told my uncles.”

She looked appalled. “And they repeated this vile thing to you?”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “I overheard them talking to the doctor about it. Months later, when I had fully recovered, I questioned my uncles. They admitted it had been my fault.”

She shoved him lightly again and then hugged him. “They are such fools! It wasn’t your fault. If your parents and siblings had any idea blame had been cast upon you—a child who had just experienced the loss of all his loved ones—they would have come back to haunt those silly men. The doctor, too! He could not know for certain how the disease had come to ravage your family. Even if it was obvious that you had succumbed first, so what? You were as defenseless as they were. The disease was to blame. Not you .”

He smiled at her, for she looked so fierce in her defense of him.

Perhaps this is what he had been missing all along, this complete and utter, loving support.

How odd it felt not to be fighting alone. How nice it felt to be defended by this mighty maiden with raven-dark hair and crystal-blue eyes, this lovely fae being who barely reached his shoulder and whose body was fashioned of soft curves instead of hard muscle.

He had married her because something within his soul had compelled him.

He’d thought it was his need to protect her. But his soul had recognized the true need. She was the one meant to protect him .

She stared up at him with watery eyes.

He groaned. “Are ye going to cry, lass?”

“No. I am merely feeling misty eyed because I now understand why you married me.” She placed a hand against his scarred cheek. “You are finally ready to forgive yourself for this terrible thing that happened to your family all those years ago…a terrible thing that was never your fault.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, for this was the true purpose of your trip to your lodge. This malaise you were feeling was your heart telling you it was time to move on, to stop depriving yourself of the joy you deserve.”

He tucked a finger under her chin and gave it a light tweak. “I did not realize I had married a philosopher.”

“Oh, I have read many books on the topic.” She smiled. “Along with books on having sex against a wall.”

He laughed.

“Are you ready to stop punishing yourself?”

He desperately ached for it. But was he able to dust away years of torment and unburden himself just yet? He doubted it would be that simple.

“Jocelyn, I married ye because I made a bollocks of my confrontation with Burling, and this would have ruined ye unless I stepped forward and made ye my wife.”

She nodded. “Yes, that is partly true. But think about it, Camborne. You were ready for a change, weren’t you?”

He gave her chin another tweak. “Not that drastic a change.”

She did not get irritated, and instead laughed softly along with him. “All right, perhaps not such an extreme move immediately. But this is in the direction you were headed. You wanted a family life again. You wanted loved ones around you, for this is what you’ve missed so badly. Camborne…”

“Aye, lass?”

“Is this why you did not mind marrying me? I’m sure it was, and I am glad of it. I want to be this for you. I had no desire to be this for anyone else who came before you.”

“Which is how ye earned yer reputation as a harpy.”

She nodded again. “Deserved, I suppose. I spurned every suitor and none of them took it well. Then you came along and…everything about you felt so right. I think I am falling in love with you. Oh, do not be angry with me. I cannot help what I am feeling. Nor do I expect you to feel the same way. It happened so quickly for me, in the blink of an eye.”

“Lass, we’ve barely known each other two days.”

“I know. It makes no sense. But I felt a stirring in my heart from the very first moment I saw you. I should have been scared, for you were drunk and growling as you woke me up. But even as I trembled, I wanted to kiss you to keep you from bellowing at me. Then I thought myself mad for even considering such a thing. But I still wanted to kiss you.”

His insides warmed as she spilled her feelings. She truly was a refreshing breath of spring.

“Och, I will admit to being most surprised to find a lump in my bed. Did I frighten ye terribly with my growls?”

“A little, at first. You were quite big and daunting. And you had caught me trespassing.” She sighed. “But then you sat at the foot of the bed and asked me why I was in hiding. My fear soon passed. You were impossibly handsome and so very kind. I could feel your protective concern and knew you would not harm me. Well, I hoped I was right in trusting you, because I really wanted to kiss you.”

He laughed again. “And there I was, thinking the very same thing about ye.”

“Camborne, I know you will think it is too early for me to say this because we cannot possibly know each other well enough yet…but I really am in grave danger of falling in love with you.”

He cleared his throat.

She sighed again. “I do not expect you to feel the same way. You are not prone to rash judgments. I did not think I was either, but then I ran away from my wedding and stumbled my way to you. I have been in raptures over you since that first night. I did not plan it and I did not believe it could possibly be real at first.”

“Jocelyn, ye canno’ know for certain.”

“Because it is too soon? Yes, this is true. I did not believe I would be so fortunate as to have a love match. Do you think you are capable of falling in love?”

“With ye? Or is this a general question? I have no’ thought about it. More accurately put, I refused to think about it.”

“But you would have thought about it while fishing at your lodge.” She pursed her lips as she contemplated their situation. “I wonder what might have happened had you been looking for a wife when I made my Society debut.”

“I dinna think ye would have liked me much back then. I purposely avoided the respectable ton parties where I might have found ye. Seems I found ye anyway. My destiny girl,” he whispered, wrapping her in his arms.

“Yes, destined. That is a good way to describe us.”

He agreed, although he was not yet ready to say more. So he kissed her instead, sinking his lips onto hers and loving the soft give of her mouth as she accepted him.

She could become a craving need.

How was it possible for her to make his heart sing?

He did not want to have these feelings for her yet. He was still such a mess inside. Perhaps it was as she had said—he was tormented and unsettled because he was aching to forgive himself and move on.

But what if he wasn’t able to move on? What if he could not escape the blame that still had him in a stranglehold? What if opening his heart to love only led to more tragedy?

All it had taken was one mistake, and he’d lost his entire family. A contagion caught and brought home to attack his parents and siblings.

“Let’s take it one day at a time, lass.”

“All right.” She tossed him the gentlest smile, but he saw the disappointment gleaming in her eyes. “This was a wonderful first step. I’m glad we had this meaningful conversation.”

He wasn’t.

On the one hand, he’d needed to tell her. On the other hand, his heart simply wasn’t ready yet.

But this was one of the things he liked about Jocelyn, her compassion. Her honesty, too. She could not lie to him.

But he was not nearly as nice as she was.

Would he revert to his old ways and break her heart?