Page 23 of Twisted Truths (The Sunburnt Hearts #4)

Chapter Seventeen

HADLEY

G abriel and I slip through the doors at the back of the church, the heavy wooden panels closing softly behind us. The service is already underway, and I keep my head down as I slip into the last pew beside Gabriel, hoping no one notices us.

We don’t belong here, not really.

As the priest continues his sermon, my eyes are drawn forward against my will, to the four caskets lined up at the front.

Four.

It’s too many.

My chest tightens, but it’s not until Gabriel pushes a wad of tissues into my hands that I realise I’m crying.

Dabbing at my eyes, I find the back of Nash’s head near the front pew.

His shoulders are stiff, and my heart aches for him.

I want to go to him, hold him. The thought stuns me; I’ve never had these kinds of thoughts about a man before.

My fingers drift over my lips, remembering how it felt to be touched by him, but shame curls deep in my gut .

What the hell is wrong with me?

We’re here to say goodbye to his sister, and I’m thinking about a kiss that should never have happened. About the way his hands trembled as he held me, the way his voice cracked when he said my name like it meant something.

I press the tissues harder to my eyes, as if I can wipe away the memory as well as the tears.

Gabriel shifts next to me, and the guilt intensifies, twisting tight around my ribs.

I cannot be thinking of Nash in that way when I now belong to another man.

Sure, I’m only Gabriel’s Chosen by name—he made it clear he has no feelings for me besides those of a protective older brother, and I certainly don’t see him romantically—yet it feels wrong to fantasize about feeling Nash’s strong, beautiful lips pressed to mine.

My cheeks heat. This isn’t about me. This is about Zara. About Nash’s family, and everything he has lost.

I force my gaze forward, locking it on the row of caskets. The undeniable finality of it all.

Movement at the front of the church catches my eye as Nash stands, unsteady on his feet.

The air in my lungs stutters, panic catching me off guard.

I brace my hands against the pew in front of me.

Stay seated , I tell myself. Stay calm .

Yet my body leans forward like it might be possible to reach him across the distance.

My heart beats in double time as he slowly climbs the steps to the altar, making his way to the lectern. His throat bobs as he looks out over the crowd that has gathered to farewell his family.

I stop breathing when his heavy gaze locks on mine.

Something passes between us, raw and electric. A tether stretched tight and fraying at the edges.

Gabriel tenses beside me, and I feel the weight of him watching me. He knows, even without me saying a word. As much as it terrifies me, I cannot tear my gaze away from Nash, drinking him in as if he’s my own personal oasis in a desert.

The connection breaks the moment Nash registers Gabriel is beside me.

It’s subtle, a flicker in his expression, a shadow passing through his eyes, but it hits like a punch to the chest. His gaze cuts to Gabriel, then back to me. The look he gives me breaks me all over again. Betrayal. Confusion. Anger. But worse than anything else, hurt.

I want to scream It’s not what you think !

He won’t believe me though. He’s made it clear what he thinks about Gabriel.

Seeing me here, with a man he hates and distrusts, on today of all days …

I wonder if it was the right thing to do.

But Zara was my friend, and I think she was Gabriel’s friend, too … and I want to say goodbye.

He looks away, and for a second, I think he will crumble and fall apart right there in front of everyone.

But then he clears his throat, the sound brittle as it echoes loudly through the microphone, and begins.

His voice wavers at first, and it doesn’t take long for the emotion to creep in. Not the kind you can fake. It’s real and raw, gripping you by the throat and not letting go. Every word is heavy, steeped in memories and pain and the kind of love that doesn’t die.

My vision blurs again. I want to hold him, take the weight from his shoulders, do something. But all I can do is sit here and listen to a heartbreak I can’t fix. The realisation slices through me like glass. I can’t fix it. I can’t bring Zara or his family back for him.

When Nash returns to his seat, I slump back in mine, feeling utterly bereft. Grieving what we could have had if I wasn’t a part of the Circle. If he didn’t see me as his enemy.

Gabriel sits still beside me, quiet and steady, like he always is. Some would say he’s calculated. I would call it controlled, measured even. He only shows what he wants you to see. I should take a leaf out of his book instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve.

As much as I try not to stare at the back of Nash’s head, my eyes keep drifting to him of their own accord.

Then the slideshow begins. The screen at the front of the room fills with images of Nash’s family in happier times.

Zara smiles down at me, her arms wrapped around her younger brother, and I shatter all over again.

She’ll never see Franklin grow up. He’ll never know her smile, her laugh, her kindness.

A thought occurs to me. Gabriel is not Franklin’s biological father, but Zara was pregnant before he announced her as his Chosen. My eyes dart around the church. Is the real father sitting here now? Is he who she was afraid of?

I don’t realise I’m shaking until Gabriel leans in close, his whisper low against my ear. “We should go.”

My brow furrows in confusion.

“My being here … it’s dangerous,” he says, glancing to the front of the church where Nash’s shoulders tremble, his head bowed rather than reliving the memories of his family. “We’ve said goodbye to Zara. Let’s not stay where we’re not wanted.”

Gabriel’s words hurt, but I know they’re true.

Despite whatever happened between me and Nash the other day, we’re not welcome here.

We slip out as quietly as we came.

Yet, as I follow Gabriel to the Circle truck, there’s a tug at my chest, like an invisible string pulling me back to the church. Back to Nash. Every step I take away from him feels wrong, like I’m moving in the opposite direction of where I’m supposed to be.

I hesitate, turning back to see people pouring out of the church, gathering on the steps. Four hearses are parked in the long drive, the backs of them open, waiting for the caskets like gaping mouths ready to swallow what’s left of Nash’s family.

“I can’t leave him like this,” I whisper, mostly to myself.

Gabriel pauses by my side, his brows knitting together. “Hadley…”

“I need to see him,” I say, my voice stronger. “One last time. I need to explain. He needs to know it wasn’t a mistake.”

Gabriel doesn’t ask me what I mean. He simply watches me with an unreadable expression.

Finally, he nods once. “Okay.”

“Okay?” I repeat warily.

He sighs. “I get it, Hadley. You don’t have to explain it to me.”

Gabriel gets it.

He remembers what it feels like to be so connected to someone it physically hurts to walk away.

“I’m sorry?—”

“Go,” he says softly, cutting me off. “You’ve got ten minutes. I’ll be in the truck.”

I swallow hard. He’s trusting me to go alone?

“Go,” he repeats, a little more firmly. “The clock is ticking.”

The invisible string pulls tighter, and this time I don’t fight it.

I make my way back across the road, retracing my steps towards the church. Towards Nash. My heart hammers against my ribs as I weave through the crowd until I spot Zara’s brother. My feet stall. He’s hugging a pretty blonde girl, and my chest constricts.

What am I doing?

I can’t approach him in front of everyone.

What if he calls me out as a Sunfire Circle traitor?

Worse, what if he shuns me?

I don’t think I could take his silence, his eyes turning cold, like our kiss never meant anything to him at all.

My nerves get the better of me, and I stumble up the steps of the church, needing to compose myself before I return to Gabriel. I slip through the door, the sound of it closing behind me echoing through the vacant space. Leaning against the wall, I close my eyes and try to calm my breathing.

He’s better off without me. Now his family has been laid to rest, Nash needs to leave. He needs to go back to the States and live his basketball dream.

So why the hell is it so hard to walk away?

I glare down at my feet. One step in front of the other, I tell them. Go back to Gabriel and accept your life.

The door beside me bursts open, and I gasp as my eyes meet intense chocolate ones.

Nash’s chest rises and falls as if he’s just run a marathon. I’m rooted to the spot as he stalks towards me, not slowing until his body hits mine, forcing me back against the wall. His lips meet mine in a demanding kiss, his strong hands cup my face, my skin burning up from his touch.

I’m overwhelmed by the force of his desire, but still, I open for him, meeting his tongue stroke for stroke. Everything fades to the background, and it’s only the two of us pouring every ounce of our souls into this kiss.

“You’re here,” he murmurs against my lips before claiming my mouth again.

“I’m here.”