Page 12 of Twisted Trails (Rogue Riders Duet #2)

CHAPTER SEVEN

Finn

I didn’t think I’d ever find myself here.

In front of Luc Delacroix’s door, with my knuckles hovering, too scared to knock. My forehead is pressed to it, and I’m breathing in the scent of pine and something faintly floral drifting from the garden.

How the hell do I come back from this?

There’s no apology big enough, no words good enough to carve out the regret lodged in my chest, but I still have to say it, even if she never forgives me or lets me close again. I let my shame drown the one good thing I’ve had in years.

Fuck.

Taking a shaky breath, I straighten and lift my hand again.

My heart is a fucking hammer, and my fingers tremble.

I’ve never been this scared in my life, not at the gate, not mid-run, not even that time I hit the ground going sixty-five and woke up not feeling my legs, because this is Alaina. My baby girl.

And if I knock on this door, and she tells me I’m too late, if she looks at me with that same broken look in her eyes, I don’t know what happens to the rest of me .

But if I don’t knock?

Then I’m just proving her right.

So, I pull in one more breath, full of nerves, dread, and the ghost of her mouth on mine, and knock. Once, twice, and wait.

The door swings open, and I’m met with elegance in a silk blouse and perfume that smells just as flowery as the outside of the house.

“Finn Greer, right?” The woman who looks a lot like Delacroix asks, tilting her head with a soft smile. “I’ve seen you on TV.”

I nod, trying not to fidget. “Yes, madame .”

“All the elite riders are such charming boys.” She smiles at me before opening the door more. “You can call me élise. Come on in.”

I follow her inside, along polished floors and past flower arrangements, and the air smells like fresh coffee and something sweet baking in the oven. It would be welcoming and peaceful if dread weren’t churning inside me.

She leads me to the kitchen, and my bravery almost leaves me again when I find them all sitting at the kitchen table.

Piper, perched sideways on a stool with one leg tucked under her.

Fisher is next to her, leaning back in his chair, sipping on a protein shake.

Dane is on Piper’s other side, coffee in one hand, the other playing with her hair, and Delacroix is planted beside Alaina, one hand on the back of her chair.

His eyes flick up the second I step in, but mine go straight to her .

She’s wearing a pink hoodie that swallows her shoulders, hair damp and messy like she just let it air dry after a shower, and turned half away, picking at the rim of a mug. Her casted hand rests on the table, taped fingers curled in loosely.

“We have a guest,” élise announces with a little flourish.

Dane turns from Piper and grins when he sees me, reaching out with a fist. “Hey, man. You good?”

“Sure.” I nod slowly and bump it, even though I feel anything but good. My gaze slides back to Alaina. “How are you feeling, Al?”

She shrugs without looking at me. “I’m fine.”

But she’s not. Anyone with eyes can see that. She’s paler than she should be, and her voice is flat, not cold, just dulled around the edges.

“Can we talk? Outside?” I swallow. “Please?”

Please let me apologize.

Luc is on his feet in a blink, planting himself between us like a wall. If she told him—hell, judging by the look on his face, she did—I don’t blame him. Not one bit.

But Alaina stands, too, placing her uninjured hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine.”

Luc’s jaw twitches, but he nods once and sits back down again.

Dane leans back in his chair with a sigh. “Yeah, go talk. I’m so over you two being weird.”

Alaina brushes past me, her steps quiet on the tiles, and I follow her out the door with my heart trying to thud out of my chest. We stop beside the rusty Crews’ bus, which stands there all dented, road-worn, and stubborn in the way it keeps surviving, just like her.

She doesn’t speak, and neither do I.

For a long breath, we just stand there in the gravel, silence stretching between us. I draw another breath and hold it, summoning whatever courage I’ve got left.

“I don’t even know where to start, Al. I miss you .”

“I’m as far away as you pushed me.” Her arms fold over her chest, but there’s a flicker of discomfort she tries to hide before she drops her hands to her side again.

Are her fingers bothering her?

“Just say what you have to say, Greer .”

Fuck. She hasn’t called me that in years. Not seriously.

Her lips are chapped like she’s been chewing on them all night, and there’s a bluish tint under her eyes. Her casted hand hangs awkwardly at her side now, and all I can think is, this is my fault . Every bruise. Every break. Every minute of that pain.

I was going to come in calm, own my shit, apologize like a man, but now I’m here and she looks like this, like I broke her in places I can’t even see, and it just…

“ Fuck, I’m so damn sorry.” The words spill out, too fast. “I can’t, I don’t even know. I keep replaying it over and over. I can’t breathe when I think about it. I shouldn’t have?—”

“Shut up, Finn!” She cuts me off, and I go still.

She’s trembling, but her chin lifts like she’s daring me to interrupt her.

“Forget what I just said,” she bites out. “ I’m going to say what I have to say.”

I nod, since I don’t trust myself to open my mouth. If this is where she finally tears me to pieces, I’ll take it. Hell, I’d rather have her fury than the way she looked at me in that hospital. Let her burn me alive, just don’t look at me like that again.

“I take full responsibility for this, all of it. I kissed you. I didn’t tell you I was a virgin. I wanted you, and I asked for it. I literally begged for it.” Her laugh is sharp, but there’s no humor in it. “So whatever guilt you’re carrying around like a martyr, fucking drop it.”

“Alaina—”

“No,” she snaps again. “You don’t get to spiral and play the sad hero. I fucked this up, and I dragged you down with me. I made you betray your best friend.”

I shake my head, mouth open, heart slamming against my ribs. “No, it’s my fault. I?—”

“ I shouldn’t have done it,” she interrupts me again. “I knew what I was doing. I knew what would happen, and I wanted it anyway. That’s on me, but I can’t keep carrying your guilt too. I’m already drowning in my own.”

I take a step toward her. “Baby?—”

“I loved you for over a decade, Finn.” Her eyes find mine, and the truth in them steals the air from my lungs.

“All this time, I wondered what it would feel like to be wanted by you, just once. I was selfish. I knew what I was doing to you, to us, to our dynamic, to Dane . I know I deserve this, and I’m not worth shit, but I still don’t need this.

I don’t need to be your mistake. I’m my own mistake.

So please, stop looking at me like I ruined your life. I can’t?—”

“Alaina.” I reach out to grab her upper arm. “Fuck , no . You didn’t ruin my life. You’re not?—”

She jerks away, like my touch stings. “I hope one day we can forgive each other, but right now, I’ve got nothing left to give. I’m empty. I can’t think about this, or you, or what we did. I’ve got too much riding on what’s next.”

The way she trails off makes my chest cave in.

“I won’t tell Dane.” Her voice softens a little. “He needs you and this friendship, and so do you. I won’t be the one to take that from you guys.”

“Don’t do this. Please .”

“You can hang out with us but keep your distance from me.” She swallows hard. “I can’t keep looking at you and seeing how much you regret me.”

“I don’t,” I protest. “Alaina, I’m not ashamed.”

Fuck, how badly can one fuck up ?

“Actions speak louder than words, Finn.” She looks at me for a few more seconds, but when I don’t say anything, too stunned to speak, she turns and walks away, hugging herself, before disappearing inside, the screen door whispering shut behind her.

I just stand there, staring at the bus’ rusty paint with my hands shaking, my mouth still dry with everything I didn’t get to tell her. All the shit I’ve been swallowing for weeks, circling and festering until I was choking on it.

I’m still choking.

“Actions speak louder than words.”

How many times did I tell her that back then?

Whispered it into her hair after some brutal day on the trail, when the other girls tore her down just for being better.

When Dane was too busy being everyone’s golden boy to notice how much it was costing her.

She’d come to sit beside me, with her stormy caramel eyes, and I’d side hug her, tell her it didn’t matter what they said.

That talk was cheap, and people could say whatever they wanted, but what mattered was what you did.

And what did I do when it was my turn to prove it?

I let her walk away thinking she was a mistake— my mistake.

She’s right.

It’s not about what I tell her, it’s about what I do next, and about standing tall, even if it costs me everything. Even if she never forgives me.

She’s worth that. She’s worth all of it.

I jog forward and rip open the door that just fell shut without knocking, and Alaina spins around with wide eyes, caught mid-step.

“What are you—” she starts, but I don’t let her finish.

I grab her good hand and pull her toward me. Her mouth opens, a soft gasp slipping out, but I see the tear first, trailing hot and lonely down her cheek.

My thumb catches it, then my lips follow, pressing against her skin. “I’m going to fix this, baby girl.”

She jerks back, eyes blazing. “What the hell are you?—”

But I’m already moving, striding into the kitchen, my heart a fucking war drum in my chest. Luc’s mom startles, Piper and Fisher freeze, and Luc stiffens.

Dane turns from the table, frowning as soon as he sees me. “You guys fixed your stuff?”

I look him in the face. My best friend, my brother in everything but blood, and I tear our friendship into shreds.

“I’m in love with your little sister.”