Page 32 of Tuxedos and Tinsel

Her Convenient Christmas Date

Barbara Wallace

To all the square pegs in the world.

May we love our edges.

CHAPTER ONE

THEBARWASone of those pop-up, themed locations that were trendy at the moment. Holiday Cheer was the name and its existence had temporarily transformed the mezzanine of the Regis Hotel into a garish, yet strangely enticing Christmas wonderland. The walls were made entirely of poinsettia blossoms, while strings of holiday lights crisscrossed the air like tiny multicolored stars.

In the middle of the cheer, at a bar framed by Christmas trees, Susan Collier was having a deep, meaningful conversation with her cocktail glass.

“So what if I don’t have a date? It’s not like I have the plague. Plenty of women go to weddings without a plus-one.”

Her cocktail, the sympathetic ear that it was, didn’t disagree.

Too bad Ginger and Courtney weren’t as sympathetic. The two catty little trolls from marketing enjoyed a good laugh about her while powdering their noses. So good, in fact, they didn’t realize Susan was in the stall listening to every word.

“Is it any wonder?” one of them had said. “She’s got a perpetual stick up her bum. I don’t know why Maria invited her to the wedding in the first place.”

“I should fire them both for insubordination,” Susan muttered. The cocktail offered itself up in mute solidarity. Lifting the glass, she polished off the contents in one swallow.

“You’re drinking those pretty quickly. Sure you don’t want to slow down?” the bartender asked when she signaled for another.

“Didn’t realize there was a speed limit.” She tapped the rim of her empty glass with her index finger. “Keep ’em coming. And, if you’re worried about me toddling off and driving, don’t. I used a car service.” Because that was what women without dates did. They car serviced.

“Aren’t you afraid they’ll miss you upstairs?”

Susan snorted. Did he mean the wedding to which she’d received an obligatory invitation just because her office was next to the bride’s? The one for which she had stuffed herself into shapeware and a vintage dress with the hopes it would make her Kardashianesque rear end look its best? Doubtful.

“Just make the drink,” she told him.

“All right. But don’t say I didn’t warn you,” the man replied.

Warning taken. Whatever the warning was.

She didn’t know why she’d bothered attending this wedding in the first place. If Maria Borromeo hadn’t been one of the few people who was moderately friendly toward her, Susan would have canceled when her brother Linus backed out of being her date. No one would have cared then any more than they would care if she spent the entire reception sucking back gin cocktails in the bar.

She knew her reputation.Shrewsan, they called her when they didn’t think she was listening. It was no secret she was the least popular Collier at Collier’s Soap. Her brothers—half brothers, that is—inherited all the positive Collier traits. Things like the Collier charm and lanky athletic good looks. She, on the other hand, didn’t get the Collier anything. Nor did she get any of the good Quinn characteristics either, as her mother used to love pointing out. Except perhaps a passing resemblance to a great-aunt Ruth, the dumpy one.

The bartender returned with another red cocktail with an extra cherry this time. Susan forgave him for his earlier question. He was a good guy, Mr. Bartender. She liked how his red flannel shirt and neat white beard matched the Christmas decor.

“What do you call this thing anyway?” she asked him when he set the drink down. The cocktail list had been full of cute holiday-themed names that she hadn’t bothered to read, zeroing in on the first one that listed gin instead.

“A Christmas Wish,” he replied. “Guaranteed to make your wishes come true.”

Susan barked out a laugh. “You mean if I drink enough of these I’ll meet Prince Charming?”

“Is that what you want?”

“Hardly.” Clearly he wasn’t as good a listener as her cocktail friend. Cinderella Complexes were for the Gingers and Courtneys of the world. She was rich and successful in her own right, and her half brothers weren’t wicked. “I’m not waiting for some man to rush in and rescue me from my miserable existence.”

Although every once in a while…

She stared deep into the contents of the glass where tiny bubbles rose from the bottom. Every once in a while she wished there was someone who really understood her. Her brothers…they loved her, but great as they were, they didn’t really “get” her. They didn’t understand what it was like to be the perpetual square peg in a round hole, always pretending she fit.

How lovely it would be to share her life with someone who saw the truth. With whom she could fit without having to pretend. Who thought her beautiful and special, warts and all.