Page 23 of True Calling

CHAPTER 9

Berk turned to Garth. “I spoke to my parents. They’re going to meet us at the airport.”

Only the slight nod from Garth gave any indication that he had heard Berk at all. It was getting really annoying, having the man that said they were mates ignore him. Feeling his anger rising, Berk undid his seatbelt and stood up.

“Where are you going?” Garth asked harshly. “The captain hasn’t turned off the fasten seatbelt sign”

Berk held onto the headrest of the seat he had just vacated as it lurched down, then back up once again. The damn flight was not the smoothest, even in a fancy personal jet. Garth was right, but Berk would take his chances with the turbulence in the air over the one hovering around him and Garth at the moment. “Wherever you’re not.”

With those words Berk turned and went to the back of the plane to sit on one of the long back seats there and refastened his seatbelt. Berk was angry, but he was also hurt. Garth had argued against him coming to Florida with him and the others, but Berk knew he could help. If there were shifters being held captive and he could do something to help, why shouldn’t he? It just made sense.

Berk had a way into the zoo that the others didn’t, and with him being human that was even better. Carl wouldn’t think twice about him and his dad going back there, and his father hadn’t checked the place out, so what better excuse to use than to say they were there to see what the place really had to offer?

Now that did have its own set of issues, yes, but Berk would deal with them... but how to tell your father that shifters were real? That one he hadn’t quite figured out yet. He figured the best approach was to just rip that band aid off right away. He just hoped he didn’t give his dad a heart attack... dad... where did that come from? Berk just realized he had thought of his foster parents as just his parents three times already. Once when he called them his parents to Garth and just now, he thought of Nort as Dad and Father, not foster dad or foster father... was that okay?

Berk was torn. Was it a betrayal to his birth parents to call someone else Mom and Dad? He thought about his birth parents and his heart still hurt, but not like it had in the beginning. He still loved them... Hell, he would always love them, and he would always know they were his from birth, but Nort and Marla had been there for him just as long now as his birth parents had. They had supported him emotionally, financially, and physically. They didn’t have to go that extra mile for him, but they’d done just that.

“You look deep in thought.” Chance said as he sat down in the seat in front of him.

“Just thinking.” Berk answered quietly.

Chance sighed, “You know Garth is just worried about you getting hurt? I know he can be a stubborn ass sometimes, but he’s only that way because he cares and wants to keep you safe.”

Waving off the comment, Berk replied, “Yeah I know, and originally that was my problem, but I was thinking about something, and...” Looking to Chance, Berk asked, “Do you think it’s dishonoring my birth parents if I look on my foster parents as Mom and Dad?”

Chance looked thrown off by the question, but soon replied, “Uh, I don’t really have any experience in that kind of thing, but if it were me and I had a child and something was to happen to me, I would hope that my child would find people that would care for him and love him like I couldn’t do anymore. I would want them to feel as if they still had family and treat them as such. You knew your parents, Berk. What do you think your mom and dad would tell you?”

Berk did something he hadn’t done since the day he had buried his parents. He let his mind go back to the days he had spent with his mom and dad. How he would wake up every morning to the smell of bacon and know his mom was cooking breakfast... bacon, fried potatoes with onions, scrambled eggs, and buttered toast. It was the standard Monday through Friday morning meal, and then on weekends she would make pancakes or French Toast with sausages and sliced tomatoes and Sunday... gravy, biscuits and sausage on the side with scrambled eggs.

They would eat and laugh and talk about what they were up to that day before heading out the door. Dinner was much the same way as far as what they would have. Monday... Pot Roast, Tuesday... tacos, and so on. It was crazy how his mom hadn’t ever broken from her daily schedule for cooking, but then again, Berk didn’t know if his mom even knew how to cook anything else.

The food never mattered. It was just being together as a family. The love his parents showed him knew no bounds. Then he remembered something he hadn’t thought about... ever. They had been watching a movie where a girl finds out she is adopted and goes to find her real parents. His mom had snorted, “Real parents. What is that girl thinking? Those people took her in and loved her. They treated her like one of their own. Her momma stayed by her bedside when she was sick, and her parents never missed a play or concert she was in.” She had then looked at Berk, “If anything ever happened to me and your daddy, I can only pray you’ll find parents that would love you like that.”

Berk wiped a stray tear from his cheek. “Yeah, she would want me to have a loving family.”

They sat there in silent for a bit, then Berk said, “I keep wondering if there’s something wrong with me.”

“What are you talking about? Are you feeling ill?” Chance asked in concern.

Shaking his head. “Not that kind of wrong. I... well, I distance myself from people. I don’t know... it’s not really a conscious thing, but I...” Sitting forward a bit further, Berk lowered his voice, “Okay, the middle and high school thing makes sense. I was home-schooled, but the thing is, I never even tried to get to know the other kids in my neighborhood, even when I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. Then when I went to culinary school, I always turned down the other students when they’d ask me to go with them to the movies, or just hang out. Even here, I talk to you guys and everything, but I don’t really interact much. I don’t seek you guys out. You guys come to me.”

“That’s because your food calls to us.” Chance said with a smile.

Shrugging, Berk replied, “The point is, I don’t go looking for you. Which is weird, because I did when I first came to the house and I pursued you guys when you seemed to run for the hills. Yet, when we work our shit out, I hide away in my safe place... the kitchen. Now when I sit here and think about it, I’ve done just about the same thing to my own foster parents. I love them... but I’ve always kept them at a distance. They don’t deserve that.”

“It’s understandable with what happened to you as a young boy, Berk. It’s never easy to lose a parent, but to lose one at eight... it’s kind of harder, I think. You said it yourself. Your mom had a routine and then,Bam!That routine is not just bumped, it exploded. Then from one foster home to another. At the one time in your life when you needed stability the most, you just didn’t have it. Then when you got together with your last foster parents... well, by then your fragile trust was gone.” Chance quietly said.

Sighing, Berk sat back, “Maybe. It’s just that they’ve never done anything for me not to trust them, Chance. Nort and Marla are great people. I got so damn lucky. You wouldn’t believe what some of the other kids had been through. Some were physically abused, some sexually, and all of us in one way or another were emotionally abused. It’s hard when you’re young and vulnerable and have no one to turn to for help. Yet, I was taken in by Nort and Marla and that other future was now my past, and I still was a hard-headed ass. I just wish I truly knew why.”

Nodding, Chance replied, “I don’t think it’s them you don’t trust. I think you don’t trust fate... or destiny... or whatever the hell you want to call it. It’s why you keep us at arm’s length as well and why you make excuses to be angry with Garth and walk away instead of talking shit out. You’re afraid if you get close to people, they’re going to die and leave you again like your parents did. Well, I have a newsflash for you, sweetie. We all die. It’s part of life. Now granted, shifters lives are much much longer and we are damn hard to kill, but we live, and we die. It’s how things are.”

Berk opened his mouth and then closed it again. Finally, he rasped, “You’re right. I just...,I don’t think I could handle another loss, Chance. I still feel the pain of my parents’ death. There’s still a hole in my heart and it can’t be filled.”

Shaking his head, Chance replied, “Not filled, but it can be mended. They were your parents, Berk. Of course, you still feel that loss and you’re right, you will never fully get over it and that’s okay. However, you have to admit it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did when it happened. I think it’s because Nort and Marla kinda helped fill that hole a bit, and in time... if you let us, we will fill it in a bit more, and if you allow yourself to take that seriously scary step, Garth will almost fill it right up. Oh, there will always be a tiny pinprick in there, because that’s just how it is. The thing is, it will be even easier to deal with as time goes by.”

“I don’t know what to do about Garth. I mean, he’s a good man, I can tell that, but he’s also a bossy, overbearing asshole when he wants to be.” Berk grumbled.

Chance laughed. “That he is, Berk. However, like I already said, he only wants you safe.”