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Chapter Thirty-Seven

Savannah

I stare at the door Jared slammed shut, my chest feeling like it’s caving in. The silence he left behind is deafening. I glance at Troy and Jamie, who are both standing there like statues, and the frustration bubbling in me boils over.

“What the hell just happened?” I snap, my voice breaking. “Do you two even realize how messed up this is?”

Jamie rubs the back of his neck, avoiding my eyes. “He’s under a lot of pressure. We all are.”

“And I’m not?” My voice rises before I can stop it. “I’m sitting here, carrying your children, trying to figure out where I fit into all of this, and the three of you can’t even stop fighting long enough to have a normal conversation!”

“Savannah, it’s not…” Troy starts, but I cut him off.

“No. Don’t ‘Savannah’ me right now.” My arms cross over my chest as I pace in front of the couch. “I don’t even know if any of you are actually in this with me for real. Every time I turn around, it’s secrets, yelling, or someone walking out. How am I supposed to trust any of you right now?”

Neither of them has an answer. Figures.

I drop onto the couch and press my palms to my eyes, willing myself not to cry. “When’s the game against Missouri?” I ask, my voice quiet now.

Jamie looks at Troy, like maybe he knows.

“Next Saturday,” Troy says after a beat. “Why?”

I take a shaky breath and let my hands fall to my lap. “Because I think I need to get out of this house until then.”

“What?” Jamie’s voice is sharp. He moves closer, crouching down like he’s trying to make me stay put with his eyes alone. “You don’t need to go anywhere.”

“Jamie, come on,” I say, shaking my head. “You can’t sit here and tell me this is healthy. For me. For Noah. For any of us.” I stand, pushing past him. “You guys clearly have a lot on your plates right now, and I need a break.”

“Where are you gonna go?” Troy asks, his voice cautious.

I look over my shoulder as I head for the stairs. “I think me and Noah will stay at Millie’s for a little bit.”

“Savannah, wait,” Jamie says, following me. “You don’t have to do that. We can figure this out.”

I stop halfway up the stairs and turn to face him. “Not tonight. I’m too tired, Jamie. And honestly? I don’t think I’d believe a single thing you or Troy said to me right now.”

Jamie looks like I’ve slapped him, but I can’t care about that right now.

“I’ll pack a bag,” I say softly. “For me and the baby.”

The tension in the room is thick, but neither of them says a word as I turn and head to my room.

***

It doesn’t take long to pack. It’s just a small suitcase for me, and for Noah, his favorite blanket, and a few toys. My hands shake as I zip it closed, the weight of everything hitting me at once. I sit on the edge of the bed and take a deep breath, trying to convince myself I’m not making a huge mistake.

There’s a knock at t the door, and before I can say anything, Jamie and Troy step in.

“Can we talk?” Jamie asks. His tone is softer now, less defensive.

“Not tonight,” I repeat, standing and grabbing the suitcase. “I need space. You need space. This...whatever this is...it’s not working right now.”

Jamie steps forward, reaching for the suitcase like he’s trying to stop me. “Then let us drop you off. Please.”

I hesitate, meeting his eyes. There’s something in them that makes my chest ache, but I can’t let it sway me.

“Fine,” I say, letting the suitcase go. “But no arguments. No guilt trips. Just a ride.”

“Okay,” Jamie agrees quickly. “No arguments.”

Troy stays quiet, his jaw tight as he follows us down the stairs.

***

The car ride is awkward as hell. Jamie drives, Troy sits in the passenger seat, and I’m in the back with Noah asleep in his car seat beside me.

Jamie tries to make small talk once, but I shut it down with a sharp look. The rest of the ride is silent.

When we pull up in front of Millie’s house, I unbuckle Noah’s seatbelt and grab the suitcase. Jamie gets out to help, but I wave him off.

“I’ve got it,” I say, my voice firmer than how I really feel.

He doesn’t argue, just steps back and watches as I walk to the door. I knock, and Millie answers a moment later, her face lighting up when she sees us.

“Hey, sweetie,” she says, ushering us in. “Everything okay?”

I glance back at the car, where Jamie and Troy are still standing, then look at Millie. “Not really,” I admit.

She nods, her expression understanding. “Come on in. You can tell me all about it later.”

I step inside, the door closing behind me, and for the first time in days, I feel like I can breathe again.

***

I’m sitting at Millie’s kitchen table, the mug of tea warm in my hands but it’s doing nothing to soothe the cold twisting in my chest. I look around at the decorations, blinking at the Christmas tree that’s already up.

“Finn got a little ahead of himself,” Millie says from the stove, pulling a fresh pot of tea to the counter. “He’s a big fan of the holidays. And the kids are loving it. You know how it is.”

I try to smile, but it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. The sight of the twinkling lights should bring comfort, but all I feel is emptiness.

“Where are the guys?” I ask, needing a distraction from the pit in my stomach.

Millie looks up, her face softening. “Took the babies and Peanut for a stroll. Gives me some time to edit videos for work. They’re trying to be helpful.”

I nod, grateful for the quiet. At least it’s just us for now.

I sip my tea, but my throat tightens as soon as the warmth hits my mouth. God, I hate this feeling. Like I can’t breathe, can’t think straight. Like the walls are closing in on me.

Millie settles across from me with a heavy sigh, and I know she’s watching me closely.

“So, what’s going on?” she asks, voice gentle but firm, like she already knows I’m holding something back.

I try to swallow, but my chest is too tight. I can’t hide it anymore. I’ve been holding it together for too long, pretending I’m fine when I’m not.

“It’s all falling apart, Millie,” I admit, my voice cracking just a little. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

She leans forward, eyes soft but determined. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, Savannah. Whatever this is, you’ll get through it. But you’ve gotta let it out. Talk to me.”

I swallow hard, my gaze falling to the swirling steam rising from my tea. The words come spilling out before I can stop them.

“The guys, the stress, the damn merger... I don’t know where I fit into all this anymore. Everything feels off. They’ve got their own shit going on, and then there’s the baby, the house, everything...I’m just...I don’t know, Millie. I feel like I’m barely hanging on.”

Millie doesn’t say anything at first. She just listens, like she’s soaking in every word. When she speaks, her voice is calm but full of conviction.

“You’ve been carrying a lot on your shoulders, haven’t you? All of you have. I know the guys are trying, but they’re scared. It’s not just the merger or the team, it’s everything else, too. They’re worried about how this’ll affect the family they want with you, the life they’ve been building.”

I take a shaky breath, trying to steady myself, but the words keep coming, the floodgates wide open now.

“I don’t know how to fix this,” I whisper. “I don’t know how to keep going like this. I feel like...like I’m losing them. I think I’m losing me, too.”

Millie reaches across the table, her hand over mine, warm and solid. “You’re not losing yourself, Savannah. You’re just in a tough spot. And it’s okay to feel that way. You’ve got people who love you. All three of them love you. They’re just as scared as you are. But it’ll work out. Just give it time.”

I nod, the weight of her words settling over me like a blanket. Time...God, I don’t know if I have the patience for time anymore.

“I don’t know if I can wait that long,” I murmur, more to myself than to her.

Millie gives me a small, understanding smile. “You can stay here as long as you need to. You can rest. You can figure things out. They need time, too. Let them work through their stuff, and then you’ll all be okay.”

I look at her, gratitude welling up inside me. She’s always known how to help me make sense of the chaos in my head.

“Thank you,” I whisper, my voice thick. “I really needed to hear that.”

“Of course.” Millie pats my hand before standing up and walking to the stove. “I’ll get you set up in the guest room. You can just take some time for yourself, okay?”

I nod again, my heart a little lighter. It feels good to have somewhere to be, somewhere to breathe without the constant pressure of everything going wrong.

I hear the door creak open, and a little voice calls out, “Mom?”

Kieran, I think, but I don’t look up to confirm. The kids love me. They’re just...kids. Innocent. Millie ruffles Kieran’s hair as he toddles over to her.

“Everything okay?” she asks him, and he nods enthusiastically.

“I’m good,” he says, and his smile—so innocent, so simple—reminds me that I need to stop overthinking everything. Things will unfold the way they were meant to. I have to trust that. Trust is all I have left.